incest, opinions wanted.
- Thread starter Sinner_18
- Start date
Laurel
Kitty Mama
- Joined
- Aug 27, 1999
- Posts
- 20,693
I have never been in an incestual relationship. If you saw my family, you'd understand. I think I sucked all the human bits out of the gene pool, and they were left to manage with the leftovers...
Would I consider an incestual relationship? That's a toughie. If my father was, say, John Malkovich, it would definitely add spice to those good-night kisses. Whether I'd act on it... Probably not.
I'm not morally offended by the concept of incest, so long as all participants are of age and the relationship is consensual. People in support of the illegality of incest claim that sex between members of the same family can create misformed children. A blind man I knew in college married a blind woman a couple years back. Both have no sight because of a genetic defect. She got pregnant and gave birth to (surprise!) a blind baby. There are no laws to prevent two people who are known to carry a defective gene from mating, so claiming that the ban on incest is in force to "protect" us from inbred babies is a crock. It's a remnant of an antique morality - like racism, sexism, and hatred of gays.
However, there are so many people in the world that I think it's a bit... lazy to settle on someone in your own family. I can see where it might be easy to fall for a family member - you share common ground, you know each other well, etc. etc. But that doesn't mean that he/she is necessarily right for you.
Sinner18, I've read your posts on the "how-to" section. I was 18 less than a decade ago, and remember what it's like to be totally caught up in your emotions and hormones. (I still get that way, only I've been burned enough to know when to sit on my hands, if you know what I mean...) I know that there's nothing me or anyone else can say to make you understand that the feelings you have for your cousin won't stay this strong forever, that as soon as next spring you could be looking back at how you feel now and scratching your head, "What was I thinking?!" And those feelings are wonderful - painful, but wonderful. But keep in mind that you will feel like a total idiot if you sacrifice your relationship with your family (assuming it's positive) for a guy you don't care about in 6 months. There are consequences to your actions - that's all I'm saying.
[end of lecture]
Would I consider an incestual relationship? That's a toughie. If my father was, say, John Malkovich, it would definitely add spice to those good-night kisses. Whether I'd act on it... Probably not.
I'm not morally offended by the concept of incest, so long as all participants are of age and the relationship is consensual. People in support of the illegality of incest claim that sex between members of the same family can create misformed children. A blind man I knew in college married a blind woman a couple years back. Both have no sight because of a genetic defect. She got pregnant and gave birth to (surprise!) a blind baby. There are no laws to prevent two people who are known to carry a defective gene from mating, so claiming that the ban on incest is in force to "protect" us from inbred babies is a crock. It's a remnant of an antique morality - like racism, sexism, and hatred of gays.
However, there are so many people in the world that I think it's a bit... lazy to settle on someone in your own family. I can see where it might be easy to fall for a family member - you share common ground, you know each other well, etc. etc. But that doesn't mean that he/she is necessarily right for you.
Sinner18, I've read your posts on the "how-to" section. I was 18 less than a decade ago, and remember what it's like to be totally caught up in your emotions and hormones. (I still get that way, only I've been burned enough to know when to sit on my hands, if you know what I mean...) I know that there's nothing me or anyone else can say to make you understand that the feelings you have for your cousin won't stay this strong forever, that as soon as next spring you could be looking back at how you feel now and scratching your head, "What was I thinking?!" And those feelings are wonderful - painful, but wonderful. But keep in mind that you will feel like a total idiot if you sacrifice your relationship with your family (assuming it's positive) for a guy you don't care about in 6 months. There are consequences to your actions - that's all I'm saying.
[end of lecture]
I think there are too many variables to just make a blanket statement saying incest is or is not bad. When I was 41, I had a girlfriend who was 46, and we used to spice things up by saying how much we wished we had been brother and sister and how much fun it would have been for her to "babysit" me when I was 12 and she 17.
On the other hand, many female friends of mine have told some real horror stories about being molested as kids and young teens. One woman of 42 won't see her stepfather to this day; just sends her mother a plane ticket and flies her to her home for Christmas and so forth.
I've had no experience with incest and will be interested to read any posts from anyone who looks at it positively, but I suspect the whole thing is very tricky. I learned some years ago how easily such situations could get started when my 2 year old daughter would want to touch me out of nothing but innocent curiosity, after I got out of the shower. I simply decided I didn't want to go there, and changed my routine so that such opportunities no longer occurred. I would be curious to know if anyone took the other path and felt it was a positive experience.
My daughter is 13 now, and very intelligent and attractive, but I simply can't imagine having sex feelings for her; it's just not there. For me, anyway, that simplifies things.
On the other hand, many female friends of mine have told some real horror stories about being molested as kids and young teens. One woman of 42 won't see her stepfather to this day; just sends her mother a plane ticket and flies her to her home for Christmas and so forth.
I've had no experience with incest and will be interested to read any posts from anyone who looks at it positively, but I suspect the whole thing is very tricky. I learned some years ago how easily such situations could get started when my 2 year old daughter would want to touch me out of nothing but innocent curiosity, after I got out of the shower. I simply decided I didn't want to go there, and changed my routine so that such opportunities no longer occurred. I would be curious to know if anyone took the other path and felt it was a positive experience.
My daughter is 13 now, and very intelligent and attractive, but I simply can't imagine having sex feelings for her; it's just not there. For me, anyway, that simplifies things.
I see Laurel and I were working on our respective posts at the same time, and I'm glad that happened, because in all of Laurel's perceptive comments, this in particular caught my eye:
"There are no laws to prevent two people who are known to carry a defective gene from mating, so claiming that the ban on incest is in force to 'protect' us from inbred babies is a crock. It's a remnant of an antique morality - like racism, sexism, and hatred of gays."
Hmm, I dunno, Laurel, gotta question that. I'm no geneticist and will be happy to stand corrected from anyone who is strong in his or her knowledge of biology, but whatever the merits of screening two blind parents, I am under the impression that it is a biological fact that too close a proximity in blood relations between parents greatly increases the risk of birth defects. "Inbreeding," I believe, is a real concept and a real risk in animal and human genetics alike. Such a fact may be misused by politicians, but it seems to me that's another question.
Again, I would be happy to know definitely from anyone who feels he or she knows this area for sure.
"There are no laws to prevent two people who are known to carry a defective gene from mating, so claiming that the ban on incest is in force to 'protect' us from inbred babies is a crock. It's a remnant of an antique morality - like racism, sexism, and hatred of gays."
Hmm, I dunno, Laurel, gotta question that. I'm no geneticist and will be happy to stand corrected from anyone who is strong in his or her knowledge of biology, but whatever the merits of screening two blind parents, I am under the impression that it is a biological fact that too close a proximity in blood relations between parents greatly increases the risk of birth defects. "Inbreeding," I believe, is a real concept and a real risk in animal and human genetics alike. Such a fact may be misused by politicians, but it seems to me that's another question.
Again, I would be happy to know definitely from anyone who feels he or she knows this area for sure.
Laurel
Kitty Mama
- Joined
- Aug 27, 1999
- Posts
- 20,693
"Inbreeding," I believe, is a real concept and a real
risk in animal and human genetics alike.
Wonderful responses above, Michael - funny we were writing simultaneously (dirty minds think alike?)... My point wasn't that there was no risk from inbreeding. Mating between close family members definitely increases the chances of genetic mutation passing on to the offspring, especially if the gene would normally be recessive (or at least, that's what they told me in school
). My only point was that if this is such a concern, then why is it not illegal for those with obvious genetic mutations that can be passed on directly (i.e. the blindness example) to marry and bear children? There is a risk that a "normal" brother and sister may carry a recessive gene that may create a deformed/irregular child. There is much more of a certainty that two genetically damaged people will produce a genetically damaged kid, especially if the damaged gene is common to both parents.
I'm not for banning marriages between the blind, the physically deformed, or the mentally challenged... That's a little too "Mein Kampf"-ish for me. I'm simply pointing out the discrepency in logic in that particular argument, that's all.
risk in animal and human genetics alike.
Wonderful responses above, Michael - funny we were writing simultaneously (dirty minds think alike?)... My point wasn't that there was no risk from inbreeding. Mating between close family members definitely increases the chances of genetic mutation passing on to the offspring, especially if the gene would normally be recessive (or at least, that's what they told me in school
I'm not for banning marriages between the blind, the physically deformed, or the mentally challenged... That's a little too "Mein Kampf"-ish for me. I'm simply pointing out the discrepency in logic in that particular argument, that's all.
Ok, yes i am 18. But you must understand what kind of an 18 year old i am. I mean, I know i can't spell worth shit. But thats about the only thing imature about me. I'm not you "tipical teen". About 6 months ago I was ingaged. It didn't work because he Wanted to get married this summer and i wouldn't because of school. So, he married someone else instead. My point hear is not to feel sorry for me but just to let you know. I will never be over this guy. I loved him and still do.So, i don't fall unless its for real. I am not even trying to forget this guy because i know its a waiste of time. I never will. I grew up really fast. To fast if you ask me. When most people were getting drunk and smoking pot I was the one standing around making sure my older brother didn't kill himself or someone else. I see things others don't. I feel things deeper than most. I am what most call an intravert. Does anyone know what that means? If not then just ask. In the interest of saving time I won't go into it. I am not having one of those six month flings with this guy. I am over that stage in mylife. I can actually say that i have seen enough of men. I know this guy is the one for me. Its sad because I am having to debat what to do. either keep it a secret and be miserable the rest of my life or tell everyone and potentially loose my family. I felt i had to explaine to you. For every rule there is an exception. Please look at me as one of those exceptions. I know it is hard to get out of that frame of mind but...
I know how short life is and how fast it can change. I lost my oldest brother to cancer 3 yrs ago. ALmost 4. New yrs eve day. He had lung cancer. Because of that I was forced to open my eyes to the realy world. I never ran down the path of destruction so many my age are running right now. Not caring who they step on. Not caring about consequences. If there is one thing I know. Its my heart. I never lie to myself and I don't play games. Well, now I'm just rambling but do you get the picture??
Anyways. I got off the topic. If you have any quesion laurel feel free to ask
I know how short life is and how fast it can change. I lost my oldest brother to cancer 3 yrs ago. ALmost 4. New yrs eve day. He had lung cancer. Because of that I was forced to open my eyes to the realy world. I never ran down the path of destruction so many my age are running right now. Not caring who they step on. Not caring about consequences. If there is one thing I know. Its my heart. I never lie to myself and I don't play games. Well, now I'm just rambling but do you get the picture??
Anyways. I got off the topic. If you have any quesion laurel feel free to ask
Hey there, sinner_18, just a question, do you have any idea how many words that you mis-spelled in that last post? It hurt my head to read it.
The way I see it, incest between consenting adults is fine with me. I wouldn't fuck anybody in my family with a stolen dick, but that's just me. The fantasy of incest is a total turn-on, and my girlfriend was involved with her father, not by choice at first, and it was damaging to her, so be careful.
The way I see it, incest between consenting adults is fine with me. I wouldn't fuck anybody in my family with a stolen dick, but that's just me. The fantasy of incest is a total turn-on, and my girlfriend was involved with her father, not by choice at first, and it was damaging to her, so be careful.
Well, Rodrigo. Both parties concerned want it so its not damaging. And if I knew how many words I mis-spelled don't you think that means I would also know they are mis-spelled leading me to find the correct spelling for them. Therfore they wouldn't be mis-spelled anymore because I would fix them??
[This message has been edited by sinner_18 (edited 12-12-1999).]
[This message has been edited by sinner_18 (edited 12-12-1999).]
Sinner, I know Rodrigo has motivated you to be a better speller, but now, back to your love life...
...I had forgotten the context of your question, and it seems to me now that the fact that the guy you are interested in is your cousin is almost incidental.
Let me see if I've got this straight. You were engaged, and it didn't work out, and of course, that was very painful. Now, you find you are attracted to another man, and it so happens that man is your cousin. You are worried about what your family will think, but aside from that, you are convinced this is the man you are meant to be with.
Have I got that right?
If I do, my advice would be not to rush into something, cousin or no cousin, until you have had more time to heal from what happened before. If your family all went on a cruise and the cruise ship sank, so that there was no issue of family opinion, you or anyone so recently hurt would still be ill0-advised, in my view, to enter into another relationship so soon.
If it's real, it can wait a while. By your own admission, you have a lot of pain to deal with, including the death of your older brother, not so long ago. The most blissful time with your new love, cousin or not, will not resolve that pain; it will simply become one more issue for you to deal with. That would be true whether you are 18 or 58. The heart needs a certain amount of time to heal.
I imagine that if your cousin reflects on this and truly has your best interests at heart, he might well feel the same way.
...I had forgotten the context of your question, and it seems to me now that the fact that the guy you are interested in is your cousin is almost incidental.
Let me see if I've got this straight. You were engaged, and it didn't work out, and of course, that was very painful. Now, you find you are attracted to another man, and it so happens that man is your cousin. You are worried about what your family will think, but aside from that, you are convinced this is the man you are meant to be with.
Have I got that right?
If I do, my advice would be not to rush into something, cousin or no cousin, until you have had more time to heal from what happened before. If your family all went on a cruise and the cruise ship sank, so that there was no issue of family opinion, you or anyone so recently hurt would still be ill0-advised, in my view, to enter into another relationship so soon.
If it's real, it can wait a while. By your own admission, you have a lot of pain to deal with, including the death of your older brother, not so long ago. The most blissful time with your new love, cousin or not, will not resolve that pain; it will simply become one more issue for you to deal with. That would be true whether you are 18 or 58. The heart needs a certain amount of time to heal.
I imagine that if your cousin reflects on this and truly has your best interests at heart, he might well feel the same way.
You could be right Michael but I think I have come to grips with the other guy thing. The only reason I mentioned is was to let Laurel understand that I am not your typical teenager. Most wouldn't be ingaged at age 18. I do agree that taking things to fast is a bad idea. What would you say if i told you that me and this cousin have liked eachother eversinse I was... oh 12 or so. We have fooled around in the past as all little kids do. It isn't as if it is a sudden thing. I think both of us were trying to deny the feelings were there and making love to eachother had made it impossible to keep from one another. I do have alot of pain in my life. Everone does. If I sit (idaly)SP?? by watching my life spin by. where does that leave me? I need to move on and just come to grips with it. I have.
Laurel
Kitty Mama
- Joined
- Aug 27, 1999
- Posts
- 20,693
The only reason I mentioned is was to let Laurel understand that I am not your typical
teenager.
Neither was I. And I'm not your typical 27 year old, either. Doesn't mean I'm immune to making stupid decisions, and neither are you.
Like I said, nothing I or anyone else will say is going to sway you, and that's fine - you're an adult and you need to live your life as you see fit. However, you've come here to ask for advice. I've given you my two cents. You can disregard it, or you can give it some thought - either way, you asked for it, I didn't offer it unbidden. We all make mistakes, and if the whole affair blew up in your face you'd still survive and go on. I'm just saying be careful. I know you feel that you're mature - however, feeling mature isn't maturity. You have to act mature, and acting mature means taking consequences into account when making decisions. That's all I'm sayin'.
BTW - spelling has nothing to do with maturity or intelligence, so don't let Rodrigo give you too much guff.
teenager.
Neither was I. And I'm not your typical 27 year old, either. Doesn't mean I'm immune to making stupid decisions, and neither are you.
Like I said, nothing I or anyone else will say is going to sway you, and that's fine - you're an adult and you need to live your life as you see fit. However, you've come here to ask for advice. I've given you my two cents. You can disregard it, or you can give it some thought - either way, you asked for it, I didn't offer it unbidden. We all make mistakes, and if the whole affair blew up in your face you'd still survive and go on. I'm just saying be careful. I know you feel that you're mature - however, feeling mature isn't maturity. You have to act mature, and acting mature means taking consequences into account when making decisions. That's all I'm sayin'.
BTW - spelling has nothing to do with maturity or intelligence, so don't let Rodrigo give you too much guff.
Laurel
Kitty Mama
- Joined
- Aug 27, 1999
- Posts
- 20,693
I'm with ya... I'm really gud at spelling, (heh heh - joke!!) but I can barely add two numbers together without a calculator. I have a good friend who can't spell to save her life and she sends me these atrociously long emails full of misspellings and it drives me batty... However, when we're out together she can always figure out change and tips and crap like that - stuff that takes me years. So I try to be patient with her retarded spelling and grammar, and she forgives my math dysfunction.
I'm also a little more forgiving of posts on the boards because I consider them part of conversation, and nearly anything goes in colloquial speech so long as your point is understood. However, in an age of spellchecks and grammar checks, it is astounding to me when I go to a web page or read a printed article and their are obvious spelling or grammar errors! I mean, c'mon people! Do you have no pride in yourselves? I'm aware of my arithmetic stupidity, so I always check and double check myself with calculators. That people don't take the time to use a spellcheck tells me they don't give a shit, and if they don't give a shit why should I? That's my take on it.
I'm also a little more forgiving of posts on the boards because I consider them part of conversation, and nearly anything goes in colloquial speech so long as your point is understood. However, in an age of spellchecks and grammar checks, it is astounding to me when I go to a web page or read a printed article and their are obvious spelling or grammar errors! I mean, c'mon people! Do you have no pride in yourselves? I'm aware of my arithmetic stupidity, so I always check and double check myself with calculators. That people don't take the time to use a spellcheck tells me they don't give a shit, and if they don't give a shit why should I? That's my take on it.
Hullo_nurse
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Oct 4, 1999
- Posts
- 572
Sinner18-- tell Rodrigo to shove it where the sun don't shine. He'd enjoy it more than he'll ever admit. I'm older than Laurel and can't spell for shit.
Rodrigo & Laurel-- I understand that spelling errors are a pain in the ass to decipher and knowing my spelling sucks makes me look up every word I even think might be wrong. I take after my father in that respect. If my life depended on my spelling I would go to an early grave.
Sinner18-- back to your delema. I too had to grow up at a young age. Family problems, mom in the hospital multiple times when I was in Jr High & High School leading me to be the "wife" for my dad in all respects (except sex, thank GOD!!): meaning all the household chores, cooking, cleaning, laundry, taking care of my sister who is 10 yrs younger, etc., plus keeping up with my schoolwork! So I know what you mean by a mature 18. But I do have to agree that if the 2 of you love each other as much as you say you do that your love will survive the test of time. Sacrifice your love for a year or two to see if there are any other fish out there. Don't force yourself to be an adult. Hhave fun, fool around, play, go to school, get your life in order before taking the chance that a decision you make today could ruin your entire life. I was engaged at 18, and knew by 19 that I was damned glad I hadn't done it! I was engaged at 22 and God am I incredibly glad I didn't do it! I finally tied the knot at 25 and still had to make sacrifices for my love. It is never easy, but why put yourself, your love and your family to the test so soon in your life? Give it a year or two. If you need to keep seeing him and sleeping with him, so be it, but I really think the best thing would be to put him on the back burner & see if there is anyone else out there that can light your fire. Sometimes it takes taking a step backward before we really see the whole situation, like the saying you can't see the forest through the trees.
Now that I have rambled on & on & on...do I make any sense?
And Rodrigo, no flaming me...I was just blowing hot air up your cute ass
Rodrigo & Laurel-- I understand that spelling errors are a pain in the ass to decipher and knowing my spelling sucks makes me look up every word I even think might be wrong. I take after my father in that respect. If my life depended on my spelling I would go to an early grave.
Sinner18-- back to your delema. I too had to grow up at a young age. Family problems, mom in the hospital multiple times when I was in Jr High & High School leading me to be the "wife" for my dad in all respects (except sex, thank GOD!!): meaning all the household chores, cooking, cleaning, laundry, taking care of my sister who is 10 yrs younger, etc., plus keeping up with my schoolwork! So I know what you mean by a mature 18. But I do have to agree that if the 2 of you love each other as much as you say you do that your love will survive the test of time. Sacrifice your love for a year or two to see if there are any other fish out there. Don't force yourself to be an adult. Hhave fun, fool around, play, go to school, get your life in order before taking the chance that a decision you make today could ruin your entire life. I was engaged at 18, and knew by 19 that I was damned glad I hadn't done it! I was engaged at 22 and God am I incredibly glad I didn't do it! I finally tied the knot at 25 and still had to make sacrifices for my love. It is never easy, but why put yourself, your love and your family to the test so soon in your life? Give it a year or two. If you need to keep seeing him and sleeping with him, so be it, but I really think the best thing would be to put him on the back burner & see if there is anyone else out there that can light your fire. Sometimes it takes taking a step backward before we really see the whole situation, like the saying you can't see the forest through the trees.
Now that I have rambled on & on & on...do I make any sense?
And Rodrigo, no flaming me...I was just blowing hot air up your cute ass
for some reason I don't like the way it sounds.... Put him on the back burner for a few yrs. Well, that in itself is a test is it not? Someone not ready to be with someone full time would do just that. I can't. I am not prepared nore would I want to be. To "look around" Thats dangerous. I know what I want. I don't need yrs to tell me so. I think looking around will do nothing. What happens when I look to long. Like Robert Frost said. "Two roads diverged in a wood and I. I chose the one less traveled by and that has made all the differance." If I let it pass I may never see it agien. You never see the same butterfly twice. I don't think there is anything dumber than letting time that could be spent with the one you love slip buy. Some of us have longer lives than others. What if mine isn't so long? I may never know what true love feels like if i do not take a chance on it now. As far as going out and having fun. I do have fun. Just not the same kind of fun as others. I don't do anything that could hurt me or others around me. I am just not into it. As far as don't grow up to fast. To late.
I already have.
PHANTOM5875
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Oct 2, 1999
- Posts
- 614
Sinner_18, I have read this thread with extreme interest (and concern!). I think you have already made up your mind and are only seeking validation of your decision. You have been given excellent advice. You didn't listen to hullo_nurse. She is sharing with you a life experience that you will, no doubt be mirroring. You HEAR, but you're really not LISTENING. You had made up your mind before you ever posted your message.
You are setting up yourself for a world of heart ache but you will,undoubtedly, have to find it out the hard way. I was the same way. I can, however, look back and wish I had given the voice of reason and experience a fair listen. Why don't you? You have time to NOT make the mistakes so many of us did.
You seem indeed to have the intellect of an adult. Your emotions need time to catch up with your body and brain. Once they are all in synch, you can make a balanced judgement about something that is one of the most important decisions of your life. This decision may affect you the rest of your life and your outlook on life, love, and even sex from here on out.
SLOW DOWN! If you(I mean any of us not just Sinner_18) have to make so much noise about being an adult, they're NOT (yet).
Part of being young is being impetuous and all knowing. That's right. DEAL with it! I raised two children myself who are grown and on their own now and I speak from experience. Amazing how smarter I become as they get older. Think I read that on a dinner plate in my grandmother's house.
Take time out now to have FUN, sow some wild oats. If you tie yourself to this young man at this time, you guys will most likey grow to hate each other. Oh, yeah, the sex will be fabulous but one day he'll start looking at you like a prison warden rather than his soul mate. You do this now and I don't give it a year. Give both of you time. If it's for real, it will not change between the two of you.
I wish you well and truly hope you find the happiness you are seeking.
PHANTOM
You are setting up yourself for a world of heart ache but you will,undoubtedly, have to find it out the hard way. I was the same way. I can, however, look back and wish I had given the voice of reason and experience a fair listen. Why don't you? You have time to NOT make the mistakes so many of us did.
You seem indeed to have the intellect of an adult. Your emotions need time to catch up with your body and brain. Once they are all in synch, you can make a balanced judgement about something that is one of the most important decisions of your life. This decision may affect you the rest of your life and your outlook on life, love, and even sex from here on out.
SLOW DOWN! If you(I mean any of us not just Sinner_18) have to make so much noise about being an adult, they're NOT (yet).
Part of being young is being impetuous and all knowing. That's right. DEAL with it! I raised two children myself who are grown and on their own now and I speak from experience. Amazing how smarter I become as they get older. Think I read that on a dinner plate in my grandmother's house.
Take time out now to have FUN, sow some wild oats. If you tie yourself to this young man at this time, you guys will most likey grow to hate each other. Oh, yeah, the sex will be fabulous but one day he'll start looking at you like a prison warden rather than his soul mate. You do this now and I don't give it a year. Give both of you time. If it's for real, it will not change between the two of you.
I wish you well and truly hope you find the happiness you are seeking.
PHANTOM
sorry, but you are wrong. I have not made up my mind at all. So what if i am 18. Would it make you feel better if i told you i was 25?? I do listen. I am actually very good at it. I have no clue what to do. I never walk into anything blindly so thats why I posted. Another thing. You heard but didn't listen. I dont want to sow wild oats!! Thats so typical. I am not like that. I play for real. I think a head and I damn sure don't think with my pussy. I had an intelectual connection with this guy way before I had any physical connection.
My original point was to get an opinion on incest in general. Not my own experiance. I would like to know what people think so that i can better understand what the people around me are seeing.
And i don't know everything. Not many ADULTS even will admit that!! No matter how long I live no matter what i see. I will never know or even come close to knowing everything. Niether will anyone else. You die know a 1/100000000000000
fraction of the scheme of things
I am actually listening. I just want to clerify the reasons for posting. I need no lecture. I have heard enough. I want opinion. I am capable of waiting until the right time and waying the concequences.
Please, no more, HAVE SOME FUN!! comments. I am having fun. I just don't need to taste test every cookie to know witch one is right for me
I don't want to sleep around. I have been with 10 guys already. count them 1.. 2.. 3.. 4.. 5.. 6.. 7.. 8.. 9.. 10 (condoms included) I could name them for you. Each one was differant. I don't know men in general but I don't need to sleep around to figure out this guy is the one or me. My only decision now is weather or not to risk everyhing for the sake of being happy. Thats what I haveto figure out. Beleieve me i will think long and hard.
I just want to here your opinion on the situation.
Like... "your a perv!!" etc. You know what I mean. But please try to use alittle more detail.
I don't want to sound mean. I am a nice person. I just want to let you know that i am no where near a decision on this. I do realize that whatever i choose will effect me greatly.
My original point was to get an opinion on incest in general. Not my own experiance. I would like to know what people think so that i can better understand what the people around me are seeing.
And i don't know everything. Not many ADULTS even will admit that!! No matter how long I live no matter what i see. I will never know or even come close to knowing everything. Niether will anyone else. You die know a 1/100000000000000
fraction of the scheme of things
Please, no more, HAVE SOME FUN!! comments. I am having fun. I just don't need to taste test every cookie to know witch one is right for me
I just want to here your opinion on the situation.
Like... "your a perv!!" etc. You know what I mean. But please try to use alittle more detail.
I don't want to sound mean. I am a nice person. I just want to let you know that i am no where near a decision on this. I do realize that whatever i choose will effect me greatly.
Rodrigo, I think you should write a story where you are a high school teacher and you rant and rage on the hot babes (all seniors and age 18 of course) because they can't spell. "Yo, Babe, if you can't spell 'fellatio' you don't really think I'm going to let you do it to me, do you?"
Finally you are walking so bowlegged because of a bad case of blue balls, you have to call the nurse. And we all hear the nurse wondering out loud, "Where in the hell did the doctor leave that damn scalpel?"
And hullo_nurse, what in the world were you smoking or drinking last night? Please bring some to the party. I'll bring the Magic Powder.
Finally you are walking so bowlegged because of a bad case of blue balls, you have to call the nurse. And we all hear the nurse wondering out loud, "Where in the hell did the doctor leave that damn scalpel?"
And hullo_nurse, what in the world were you smoking or drinking last night? Please bring some to the party. I'll bring the Magic Powder.
Phantom, you've said it best. Just this morning, thinking about this, I was scratching my head, saying "Why did she go to so much trouble soliciting advice, when it's obvious that she never had any intention of heeding any of it?"
The whole incest issue was something of a red herring, since the real issue is her desire for one man only six months after losing another that she herself says she'll "never get over." And this plan is advanced in the midst of protests about how "grown up" she is.
At least, reading this, I can begin to see a few of the issues I'll be dealing with, with my 13 year old, just a few years down the road.
Anyway, Phantom, I agree with your summation, and it would seem that, from this point, further responses would be a waste of time. They're not being heard--except to generate more arguments.
The whole incest issue was something of a red herring, since the real issue is her desire for one man only six months after losing another that she herself says she'll "never get over." And this plan is advanced in the midst of protests about how "grown up" she is.
At least, reading this, I can begin to see a few of the issues I'll be dealing with, with my 13 year old, just a few years down the road.
Anyway, Phantom, I agree with your summation, and it would seem that, from this point, further responses would be a waste of time. They're not being heard--except to generate more arguments.
Fallen Angel
Really Really Experienced
- Joined
- Nov 22, 1999
- Posts
- 350
Sinner, Sinner, I do sympathize with your feeling that at 18 you have matured and can make your own decisions. I at 18 had a job, a car, an apartment and a girlfriend that I would love forever. The car died, I lost the apartment and my girlfriend is now happily married to one of my best friends.
Life teaches by experience, maturity means that you are ready to experience what life has to offer. Wisdom is the ability to see the results of your actions and act accordingly.
You may love your cousin and feel that you can not live without him but can you live with the results of that action? I will not condemn or approve of your relationship but your friends and families will. They should form the support group that will help see you through the tough times in your life. Please do not lightly trade tomorrows happiness for today's pleasure.
Now to sound like a parent and like many of the others who posted good advice. If you and he think that you really love and care for each other then some time apart will not diminish your feelings. A year of not having sex together or going out together will help you tell if it is real and also help to convince your cousin that you are sincere.
If you feel that you just can't wait that long, that life is too short and is going to pass you by if you have to sit out a year, you will have answered the question of, "Is it love or lust?" If it is lust then do not ruin your reputation or your cousin's by forcing the issue. You may never live down the affair if you force your cousin into something that he and the family feel is wrong.
Having sex with your cousin may not be wrong.
Hurting your family and your reputation is wrong.
Having to get someone drunk or trick them into having sex with you is very wrong.
How would you feel if you went to a party and had too many drinks and ended up sleeping with several of the guys there. They invite you to the next party and expect you to put out for everyone again, after all they say, you enjoyed it last time. You did enjoy it but you know that everyone will consider you a slut and it will hurt your family if they find out about what you have done. You tell them no, that it is wrong and you don't want to do that again. They start trying to get you drunk and get your clothes off.
Is there anything wrong with group sex? No, it is okay if everyone wants to and no one gets hurt.
The same logic I think applies here to the incest issue. It is okay if everyone wants to and no one gets hurt.
One last thing. What may seem fine when done in the dark and in secret may look horrible when exposed to the light of day.
Life teaches by experience, maturity means that you are ready to experience what life has to offer. Wisdom is the ability to see the results of your actions and act accordingly.
You may love your cousin and feel that you can not live without him but can you live with the results of that action? I will not condemn or approve of your relationship but your friends and families will. They should form the support group that will help see you through the tough times in your life. Please do not lightly trade tomorrows happiness for today's pleasure.
Now to sound like a parent and like many of the others who posted good advice. If you and he think that you really love and care for each other then some time apart will not diminish your feelings. A year of not having sex together or going out together will help you tell if it is real and also help to convince your cousin that you are sincere.
If you feel that you just can't wait that long, that life is too short and is going to pass you by if you have to sit out a year, you will have answered the question of, "Is it love or lust?" If it is lust then do not ruin your reputation or your cousin's by forcing the issue. You may never live down the affair if you force your cousin into something that he and the family feel is wrong.
Having sex with your cousin may not be wrong.
Hurting your family and your reputation is wrong.
Having to get someone drunk or trick them into having sex with you is very wrong.
How would you feel if you went to a party and had too many drinks and ended up sleeping with several of the guys there. They invite you to the next party and expect you to put out for everyone again, after all they say, you enjoyed it last time. You did enjoy it but you know that everyone will consider you a slut and it will hurt your family if they find out about what you have done. You tell them no, that it is wrong and you don't want to do that again. They start trying to get you drunk and get your clothes off.
Is there anything wrong with group sex? No, it is okay if everyone wants to and no one gets hurt.
The same logic I think applies here to the incest issue. It is okay if everyone wants to and no one gets hurt.
One last thing. What may seem fine when done in the dark and in secret may look horrible when exposed to the light of day.
Well said Fallen Angel. Sinner just Think and as you say your a good listener then read and listen.
As Fallen Angel states:
Incest may not be wrong and it is of your own opionin. Hurting family and having a life that may be without your family or your friends is something to sit down and think long and hard...
As Fallen Angel states:
Incest may not be wrong and it is of your own opionin. Hurting family and having a life that may be without your family or your friends is something to sit down and think long and hard...
Similar threads
