In love but unsatisfied

[draggon1]

Hi all,

I have been struggle with something that I suspect many people do. I am married to a wonderful woman whom I love but the sex just isn't any good anymore. It is placing a real strain on our relationship which only causes furthers issues with intimacy. The problem started with biological issues. My wife simply isn't as tight as she used to be. Compounding this is as I have gotten older it takes more specific stimuli to get me off. My wife is really upset by the fact that vaginal sex doesn't make me climax. I started off fine with cumming by means other than vaginal. Now I feel pressure to cum the way she wants. This has pushed us apart over time and we have sex less and less. With less sex I find myself on line looking for masturbation material. I have been increasingly tempted by online chats. I love my wife and don't want to cheat but I do have needs. What do I do? What have others done? Where is the cheating line? Is online chatting just another form of porn? Any thoughts?

 

[CeasarBoobage]

Now I feel pressure to cum the way she wants. This has pushed us apart over time and we have sex less and less.
<snip>
With less sex I find myself on line looking for masturbation material. I have been increasingly tempted by online chats.
<snip>
Where is the cheating line?

It sounds to me that she is hurt mentally because she doesn't feel like she can satisfy you. Because of that she will likely find that anything you seek out online (porn, chatting/camming, etc) is taking her place. Once you get caught you can forget about next month's snuggle-fest. On the flip side, most guys would be hurt if their wife preferred a dildo and a webcam session with a 20/yo hard-body because her man's junk became boring.

Many people see cheating differently, so that line is variable. Simply flirting with the cutie at work is probably enough for a good fight, but once there is skin contact she would probably see it as cheating.

May I suggest trying to get her to live out a fantasy? Some light bondage or role playing may add a mental rush to the physical feelings and make everything work better. The mind plays a big role in sex, and sometimes it needs it's own foreplay.

 

[Kalamain]

Have you tried talking to her about this?

I know that sometimes its hard to admit that there are issues...But you have to do it...Being frustrated, on either side of the relationship, is not healthy.

As a guy that is in a totally sexless relationship I can sympathise. Its not easy.

For me this chatting and wanking is not cheating...If I were to cam with someone or phone them that would be **MY** fine line where it becomes cheating.
Luckily my conn is crap and so I can't cam even if I wanted to!

I know this is hard but you will really need to set your own limits on what is and what isn't cheating. Also...Does your wife know you spend time on here? Mine does and is OK with it.