I'm thinking of becoming a Love Doctor

[yoshimitsu]

I have always spent a lot of time studying psycology, human behavior, relationships, and interaction. I also love sex, love, and intimacy and have spent a bit of time studying those as well. I also love teaching and helping people. I am not a master of love, sex, or psycology by any means but but I am good at comunicating with people, getting them to see life from a different angle as well as me being able to see life from theirs. I am thinkig of combining all these passions to try and help people who's love lives have become stagnant, completely died, or could just use some spicing up.
It is most likely any couple who's love life has become unfulfilling is most likely rooted in the rest of their relationship and lifestyle. The goal would be to tune up their relationship, find out what their needs are and then how to achieve their goals. If I felt they had larger issues to resolve or thought it needed more time or a trained psycologist I could refer them to a local pro and do what I could in the meantime. I would also go into Romance, intimacy, foreplay, comittment, new techniques ect. Basically as much as they felt comfortable discussing. I think it would also be cool to find the most popular toys and bring them with me so they can check them out if their intersted in adding some to their colection or maybe just starting one. It would be cool to have the most popular as well as reasons why people liked them and why any didn't. This way you could advise them and save them the trouble of going to the porn store and experimenting with many before finding best options. If I do this I would probably start a thread asking for input. It's not really something I want to bring into this discussion.
I want to get peoples input on this idea. I think it could help out a lot of shakey relationships and improve a lot of lives. As well as making some decent money too

I am also wondering if their are any couples in or around Portland who would be interested in doing some mach sessions with me so I can get comfortable and get honest input before going out, charging money and maybe making an ass of myself

What do you guys think?

 

[AppleBiter]

I think it sounds like you want to be a sex therapist. I say go to college, get your Masters, and go for it.

 

[yoshimitsu]

I think it sounds like you want to be a sex therapist. I say go to college, get your Masters, and go for it.

College isn't for me. Nor do I belive it would be highly nescacary in this situation. It may get me more clients and allow me to charge more but I like my diploma from the school of hard knocks and deep thoughts.

 

[AppleBiter]

College isn't for me. Nor do I belive it would be highly nescacary in this situation. It may get me more clients and allow me to charge more but I like my diploma from the school of hard knocks and deep thoughts.

While I commend you on that (and I do), I know that, personally, I would like to see a trained professional in those matters. That's just personal opinion. Sometimes, it's good to talk to a good listener, other times, a professional is better. Especially if you're being charged.

 

[yoshimitsu]

While I commend you on that (and I do), I know that, personally, I would like to see a trained professional in those matters. That's just personal opinion. Sometimes, it's good to talk to a good listener, other times, a professional is better. Especially if you're being charged.

You do have a point there and I am sure many share your view. I have dlsliked almost every psycologist I have met. They go around spouting Freud and Jung but seem to miss the depth of the human mind.
I am curious if I would be able to find clients right off the bat. It seems like if I could get a few satisfied customers giving good references it would probably help a lot.

 

[SweetErika]

College isn't for me. Nor do I belive it would be highly nescacary in this situation. It may get me more clients and allow me to charge more but I like my diploma from the school of hard knocks and deep thoughts.

Well, I hate to burst you're bubble, but there are some major legal implications here, both criminal and civil. The fact is, you can't represent yourself as a professional or provider of psychotherapy/counseling if you're not one. When you start taking money for services rendered, you're forming a contract, and the implication is that you're being paid for your professional services when you're not a professional. You need talk to a lawyer about this first, and if there's any way a waiver or overriding contract would hold up in court if you were charged criminally or sued...I don't believe telling people you're completely unqualified or not a real professional would be enough to protect you.

And then there are the moral/ethical aspects. How would you feel if you violated professional codes of conduct because you don't have the education or training necessary to do this kind of work? What if you gave really bad, life-changing advice due to your lack of qualifications and they took it, figuring you were charging money and must know what you're doing? How could you feel comfortable taking money knowing you're unqualified? Would you tell your customers everything? Do you think anyone would pay knowing there's no education, training, or license to rely on?

The sex toy consultant is doable. There are lots of companies that sell toys through independent contractors who have Tupperware/Avon/Mary Kay-like parties. Some of the contractors make a very nice living.

 

[EJFan]

it amazes me how many people want to accomplish things without paying the proper dues... even though there are very few formal apprenticeship programs in various professions in recent times, it still exists in a way.

from a marketing standpoint, i think paying dues by moving through the appropriate channels makes for a more successful, longer lasting business. i've also found that, as a consumer, a person/company worthy of getting professional assistance from is one that has a comprehensive resume.

the entrepreneurial spirit is a great thing to have... i'd advise anyone to not abuse it, but to hone your skills in a way that will make you accepted by the general public. not to mention, the most important part, a person can make countless, valuable contacts along the way... and that makes things so much easier.

 

[Munachi]

must say i agree with the above... as for "college isn't for me" - of course not everything is easy or fun for everyone... personally I guess I am more of a university person, I dread the moment I am done because I would like to just stay a student, it is such a nice life I have, and I really prefer studying and learning that way over work - but I know that is not the case for everyone. However, sometimes there might be a way you don't really like to get somewhere you like to be - and if you really want to be there you might have to go it. And if you study for something you wnat to do it is quite different to just learning something you are not interested in. For example, my brother never was the studious type. But when he started his apprenticeship as a nurse he had to take a lot of classes to learn all the theory that came with his new job - and it being connected to the practice he did at the same time it suddenly made sense to him. He never got great grades, but he didn't do bad either, he suddenly even enjoyed reading his books and studying from them...

 

[M's girl]

...... It seems like if I could get a few satisfied customers giving good references it would probably help a lot.

Hi yoshimitsu,

Although I like the posts I've read from you thus far, and most of the time I think they make a lot of sense, I don't think this makes you qualified to be a "love doctor" or anything. There's more people on LIT who seem to know exactly what it's all about all of the time and it amazes me sometimes how wise they are (I'm not joking here or being sarcastic). I can name a few but you've probably already identified them yourself as well.... Sweet Erica, Eilan, EJ Fan, Bisexplicit, Midwestyankee and Silverwhisper.... to name a few.

I also am cocky enough to think that I know what I'm talking about sometimes, but by no means do I think I should give the advice I give here sometimes on a professional basis. Posting a question here on LIT is to get OPINIONS, which is an entirely different thing from professional advice. From those opinions you pick the ones that appeal to you and they can be real eye-openers. Might even better work for you than seeking professional advice and still it's not thát!

Sweet Erica was so right talking about the legal implications. Think about it. It will work as long as everyone (of your supposed clients) is happy. It will backfire BIG TIME if one is not, especially in the US I would say, with all the sueing over spilled cups of hot coffee as an example. Think about what could happen if someone would only FEEL you've treated (in the exact sense of the word this time) bad! Doesn't even neccessarily need to be the case but this sort of advice is no exact science so debatable at all times. Don't even consider putting yourself in such a position.

A small example to illustrate the above said. I am a fairly good cook who stuns her guests every now and then with the most wonderful dinners. This hobby grew and soon I was asked for parties up to 70 people at a time to do the catering. Although it's a lot of work I've done this a few times and everyone was amazed by the buffets (food and presentation) and dinners I had done. Compliments all over the place. Very nice. Everyone keeps saying I should make a business out of it, but I won't. I don't have the professional background to back things up if something goes wrong. So far I've only been paid for my expenses and everything went very well. No wonder everyone was hilariously happy. Only one time, for a reason I still can't grab, a staple (... ) was found in one of my salads. The person who had found it was kind enough to tell me this personally without telling others (I assume) but I could see he was kind of upset (which I could imagine). I was sooo embarrased and apologized over and over again, although, of course, I had not the slightest idea where that staple had come from. I was working in a semi-professional kitchen too and.... well.... I don't know.

Anyway. This got me thinking. We don't have this culture here in the NL of sueing people quickly (although this 'trend' is starting to slowly find it's way here I think). Now what would have happened if the guy had been swallowing the staple? He had not and he was quite upset already. Looked at me (or did I only imagine that because I felt so bad?) as if I had done this to him on purpose. You get my point now do you? If I had been asking money for my services and had presented myself as a professional, which I did not, everyone there knew I was the daughter of... bla bla, I think this would have been a matter that could have resulted in something far worse than the bad feeling it left me with....

Until a year ago I have been working as a consultant for the Dutch Government to advice people who wanted to start up their own business. I saw a lot of people who had great ideas but no plans whatsoever to back them up. No businessplan, no financial plan and most of the time they had not thought of legal implications eighter. When I would point some of the dangers out to them most would reconsider. It was not at all my job to scare them off, but rather make them think it through thorougly before spending more time and money in a business that would not have been solid from the start. I can imagine how this sort of business would be considered to fall into the same category as artists and craftsmen, where sometimes no real education is neccessary because what they sell is an artistic "thing" that sells because it's beautiful or whatever. This sort of advice is not the same. No exact science, like I said before, but you're not selling someone a piece of art they decide not to like as much as when they bought it. You will be "playing" with people's lifes, emotions etcetera.

OK, "lecture" over, but you get my point I hope?

 

[yoshimitsu]

Oh well.
It sounded fun.

 

[ferntree]

Maybe try a job as a sexologist.

I always thought as a love doctor you'd just end up working for Cosmo or FHM and so forth answering those sex questions people submit.

 

[Ravin the Poet]

Oh well.
It sounded fun.

Yeah fun and professional are two different things. You know I always hated asking people for advice on certain things because it's there take on it, and what they like. And as said before, your clients would be retarted to go to you, when professional help is there. And most people when they go to therapy as for your background. Sorry to say but "I have a degree from the school of hard knocks" means dick all nothing when someone says "I have a master's degree in human sexuality from the University of ______". Wow that person just kicked your ass.

Basically you want to be a bigger friend then you are with advice and get paid for it. Not going to happen in this world. Espically in America, where your first fuck up, and you will be sued.


Ravin

 

[Guest]

 

[Eilan]

here in America? he'd probably get sued even before he fucked up.....

You're gonna get sued for saying that, you know.

 

[midwestyankee]

Hi yoshimitsu,

Although I like the posts I've read from you thus far, and most of the time I think they make a lot of sense, I don't think this makes you qualified to be a "love doctor" or anything. There's more people on LIT who seem to know exactly what it's all about all of the time and it amazes me sometimes how wise they are (I'm not joking here or being sarcastic). I can name a few but you've probably already identified them yourself as well.... Sweet Erica, Eilan, EJ Fan, Bisexplicit, Midwestyankee and Silverwhisper.... to name a few.

M's girl, thank you very much for the compliment. I've not been around much in recent days but when a friend told me about this post I knew I should find time to drop by to thank you.

 

[HotKittySpank]

Hey Yoshi don't give up. Your last post sounded very deflated. I don't think anyone here wanted to stop you from persuing something that you seem passionate about. They just want you to approach this from the proper perspective.

In any business venture you first must have a solid business plan.
Educational backup will give you the credibility to draw the clients you seek.

Research your options. Perhaps there are courses offered in a non-college style environment? Get books on small business ventures/planning, etc.

Best of luck - HKS