I'm taking applications.

[MorgaineLaFay]

I promise to put out on a regular basis.

 

[*bratcat*]

 

[lost]

Cooks, cleans, can change oil, operate small machinery train dogs and kid, mows the lawn, balance a checkbook, arrange playdates, and is very flexable

 

[perks]

I promise to put out on a regular basis.

that's my favorite kind of wife. I'll even help you with that.

 

[MorgaineLaFay]

I knew you loved me.

 

[Guest]

 

[perks]

I'm sorry, Gladiator, she has a pussy. You don't have that.

 

[Guest]

 

[Saint Peter]

So who won?

 

[Rubyfruit]

Just so happens I am newly available on the market, Perky.

 

[SpiceCake]

I need a wife.

Please tell me how you think you're qualified.

thanks.

I'm applying! I would love to bathe you everyday. Does that qualify me in anyway?

 

[Guest]

 

[Saint Peter]

Just so happens I am newly available on the market, Perky.

Oh great. Now Ruby brings out the Big Guns. Put your Big Guns away Ruby and play fair.

There is more to life than a great set of tits.

When I figure out what that is I will let you know.

 

[Rubyfruit]

I didn't even extol my many virtues and vices, StPete.

 

[Saint Peter]

I didn't even extol my many virtues and vices, StPete.

I know that Ruby. Have a heart. I need this job. I am way behind on the rent and the price of doodles is falling by the minute. Do you have any idea what this hat cost me? Four hungry children and a crop in the field.

Screw it. I am going to the Tittie Bar for a drink and a lap dance.

 

[islandman]

I need a wife.

Please tell me how you think you're qualified.

thanks.

I can't be your wife, but i've been told I make a hell of a sex toy.

is there an application for that?

 

[Sillyman]

I cook well and know how to make delicious inexpensive meals
I clean thoroughly and with great care
I sew
I love children, and know how to be firm with them while encouraging their love, devotion, and work ethic.
I know how to manage money well and am quite generous with my husband's spending money
I can sing, recite poetry, and discuss philosophy
I can perform a perfect tea ceremony
I am a beautiful vigin
I am quiet and know my place in the world
I never question my husband's judgement

 

[Peeking Angel]

Application

Dear perky_baby

I would like to apply for the position of wife, as advertised in the November 2002 edition of Literotica. I believe I would make an excellent addition to your household in this role for the following reasons:

- I'm cute and like to be pushed around a little by fascinating sexy women like you.
- I would compliment you on your sexual techniques, particularly when you make me cum.
- Although I am a little loud during sex, I have a very good memory and always cry out the name of my lover.
- I'm not quite shy, but can be a little coy, which would come across very sexually at dinner parties.
- I look good under a kitchen table.

Unfortunately I don't have much experience with pleasing a woman, but I am eager to learn - hence my nickname here of 'Peeking Angel' by the way.

I would be very wet if you were to consider my application.

Yours sincerely,

Peeking Angel

 

[patient1]

Re: Re: I'm taking applications.

I am totally unqualified....apart from a few things.

I hate housework. I hate doing laundry. Well, I don't mind doing the washing and drying but I hate folding and putting away. Ironing bores me. Dusting is a waste of time as is vacuuming.

I do like to cook and bake. I give an amazing blowjob, or so I am told. I look good. I like to shop....for everything but food.

Hmm...any other qualifications needed?

I accept amazing blowjobs, as opposed to give them. I only like to shop for food. Otherwise, you sound like me.

 

[TheDR4KE]

Please everyone suitable apply. She would make a great partner to the right wife. Really. Maybe send her some pics too -- couldn't hurt your application you know.

quack

the D

 

[perks]

Did you tell the applicants that they'll have to live with a Drake? That you'll do things like practise your Japanese rope work on them and show them off when I come home? That we like to share?

Or is that for the short list?

Quack

the D

shhhhhhhhhhhhh... shhhhhhhhhhh, you'll ruin EVERYTHING


muuaauahahahhahahahahah!!!

 

[TWB]

I need a wife.

Please tell me how you think you're qualified.

thanks.

1. I like cleaning. I can clean the shit out of a place, especially if you tick me off.
2. I can cook like a mothafucker.
3. I put down the toilet seat, clean errant hairs in the shower, and do laundry.
4. I can do your legal work in the evenings.
5. I can pay bills if you have the money to pay them.
6. I am Great with kids, because I typically am one.
7. I have multiple orgasms whenever I want.

 

[TheDR4KE]

shhhhhhhhhhhhh... shhhhhhhhhhh, you'll ruin EVERYTHING

Fixed it up, now everything will be fantastic. Look out for some pics in your mail too soon I should think.



the D

 

[tswyk]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by TheDR4KE
Did you tell the applicants that they'll have to live with a Drake? That you'll do things like practise your Japanese rope work on them and show them off when I come home? That we like to share?

Or is that for the short list?

Quack

the D
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


oh, Perky!!!!


Sound just like MY kind of position.....


pick me, pick me!!!!!

 

[seXieleXie]

i'm not really wife material. i'd make a pretty good husband though. you know: take out the trash, kill spiders, open pickle jars, make you scream with pleasure. the whole 9 yards.