I'm Really Fucking Horny

[lavender]

I swear to Christ, my cooter has the insatiable desire of the Audrey II in Little Shop of Horrors at this point every month. It's ridiculous. But, please - feed the plant.

 

[Sillyman]

You don't want blood do you?

 

[k¡tty]

I suddenly had this huge urge just a bit ago, so I ran upstairs and looked around for some porn, anything, to help with it.


I'm back down here and still unsatisified. *sigh*

 

[lobito]

I can't give you recipes, AND satisfy you too!

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

thank goodness for being sick...my 'little friend' seems to be completely inactive tonight.

 

[Lasz]

Yeah I had that problem about an hour ago, I took care of it.

 

[lavender]

I have a moratorium on masturbation right now.

 

[Monazwx]

Tonight of all nights.

 

[Sillyman]

Oddly, I just got done watching porn before I logged on.

 

[kotori]

I have a moratorium on masturbation right now.

No, don't. Masturbate for Peace! We need you now more than ever!

Cream your khakis, not Iraqis.

Peace is spiffy, stroke your stiffy

Don't send the fleet, just beat your meat

War is shit, rub your clit

Peace is cool, pull your tool

Side with France, reach down your pants

Peace is the issue. Use a tissue.

War is Crappy, Slap Your Pappy

Slap your tool, don't fight for fuel

Rub your snake for peace's sake

War's for squares, play downstairs

Stop war now, milk your cow

When you jerk tonight, keep peace in sight.

Down with war, stroke some more

War is cruel - flog your mule

Don't attack - play with Jack

Get peace fever, rub your beaver!

Give your Bush the finger!

For peace to work, you need to jerk

War is heinous, thumb your anus

You Can't Beat Off with Nuclear Arms

War is Mean, Flick Your Bean

War is wrong, whack your schlong.

My 'friendly fire' harms no-one

I'm going blind for Mankind

War is silly, whack your willy

Think globally, whack locally

Masturbate for Peace

 

[espressolover]

The beast is awake and stalking the jungle tonight!
Red meat, we crave sustenance!

 

[lavender]

LOL

Thanks Kotori.

Now, I'm off to the grocery store soon to buy ingredients. I guess I can cook instead of cum.

 

[perks]

I think it's referred to as being "unfucking horny"

or hornery- when you get pissy cause you're over horny

 

[espressolover]

Hey lavender, I'm with you!
If I can't have sex, I'll settle for Ben & Jerry's...mmm Chunky Monkey..practically an orgasm in a cup!

 

[Pseudomoniker]

Hey lavender, I'm with you!
If I can't have sex, I'll settle for Ben & Jerry's...mmm Chunky Monkey..practically an orgasm in a cup!

I thought I bought an orgasm in a cup one time, but it turned out to only be some jello jigglers.

 

[espressolover]

Lol!
Try the Monkey..yummm!

 

[SpiceCake]

I woke up throbbing today! I wore jeans today so I could tease myself all day!

 

[P. B. Walker]

I swear to Christ, my cooter has the insatiable desire of the Audrey II in Little Shop of Horrors at this point every month. It's ridiculous. But, please - feed the plant.

I've seen several threads like this from you lavender. I've come to the conclusion that you do not treat your cooter right. It's complaining too much.

PBW

 

[Guest]

I swear to Christ, my cooter has the insatiable desire of the Audrey II in Little Shop of Horrors at this point every month. It's ridiculous. But, please - feed the plant.

Suddenly Seymore! Sing for me, baby.

 

[lavender]

Far from Skid Row
I dream we'll go
Somewhere that's green.

 

[Dillinger]

Yeah me too... but what else is new.

 

[Pan718]

Goodbye Audrey...

Far from Skid Row
I dream we'll go
Somewhere that's green.

AUDREY
You'll wash my tender leaves,
You'll smell my sweet perfume;
You'll water me, and care for me,
You'll see me bud and bloom...

She runs a hand through his hair and lets it drop down to
his arm. Camera slowly CRANES IN from a medium-wide shot
to a medium close-up.

AUDREY
I'm feeling strangely happy now,
Contented and serene...
(She shudders, about to die)
Don't you see...
Finally I'll be...
Somewhere that's green

She reaches out toward her imaginary paradise, as she did
when singing the original song. Then she shudders and
goes limp. Seymour holds her tightly, wracked with guilt
and grief.

 

[Pan718]

Lavy's Cooter (as AUDREY II)
You don't know what you're messin' with,
You got no idea;
You don't know what you're lookin' at,
When you're lookin' here!
You don't know what you're up against,
No, no way no how;
You don't know what you're messin' with,
But I'm gonna tell ya n-n-now!

 

[Lancecastor]

I love the way women here spout off about every nuance of their cycle phase transitions and the hi-fat gobbles they smear and stuff their festering gobs with.

Totally tender et tres sexi. You're such babesters.

Ha!

 

[Dillinger]

I love the way women here spout off about every nuance of their cycle phase transitions and the hi-fat gobbles they smear and stuff their festering gobs with.

Totally tender et tres sexi. You're such babesters.

Ha!

That was such a strong and free thing to say. Thanks.