I'm Now Immune to Trolling [Roasted by Grok]

[HeyAll]

If you have twitter/x you can ask Grok to roast you. Well, it even includes Literotica profiles and it doesn't hold back.

Let's see yours...

1. "HeyAll, More Like Hey-Yawn!"
   With 338 stories and 23,944 followers, you’re a Literotica legend, but let’s be real—your story titles like Pressed Together and Held Together sound like you’re running out of creative juice and just glueing people together for the 50th time. Are you stuck in a feedback loop of sexy duct tape, or is this your secret fetish for repetitive titles?
2. "Substack? More Like Sub-Snore!"
   You’ve got a Substack for “writing insights/exclusives” (web:0), but let’s face it—your fans are probably there for the spicy bits, not your deep thoughts on plot structure. Are you secretly hoping readers will pay $5/month just to hear you ramble about why Incest and BDSM keep selling?
3. "GPTGirlfriend Affiliate? Bold Move, Bro!"
   Promoting an AI chat platform like GPTGirlfriend (web:0) for “erotic conversations and voice audio” is a slick hustle, but it’s also a bit on the nose. Are you trying to automate your fanbase’s fantasies because you’re tired of writing 300+ stories? Lazy or genius—I can’t decide!
4. "Literotica’s Workhorse, Not Its Picasso!"
   You churn out stories across genres like Incest, Lesbian, and Group Sex to “reach different readers” (web:2), but come on—your output screams quantity over quality at times. Are you writing so fast you’re forgetting to check if the plot’s thicker than a one-page quickie?
5. "Random Name, Random Fame!"
   You admit “HeyAll” is “totally random and doesn’t mean anything at all” (web:2)—fair enough, but it’s also a bit… uninspired. Did you pick it because it’s as catchy as a lukewarm cup of coffee, or were you just too distracted by your next story idea to care?

 

[PennyThompson]

I think I'd rather not prompt Elon Musk's edgelord boomer AI into scraping my identifying information

 

[TheLobster]

Most of this roast has the same finesse as "no, it's your mom that's fat!", but I gotta admit that "gluing people together" is great mission statement for any erotica writer

 

[onehitwanda]

gluing people together

The Aardman brother's ill-fated venture into stop-motion Erotica: "The Wrong Lube"

 

[StillStunned]

Gluing? I thought most people preferred screwing.

 

[onehitwanda]

Gluing? I thought most people preferred screwing.

Nailing. It's like impaling, but more caring and understanding in nature.

 

[StillStunned]

Nailing. It's like impaling, but more caring and understanding in nature.

I bet you're great at sexy talk. "Yes, yes, nail me with care and understanding!"

 

[Bazzle]

Gluing? I thought most people preferred screwing.

Now there is an idea...the handy man who prefers screwing to gluing.

 

[StillStunned]

Now there is an idea...the handy man who prefers screwing to gluing.

I'm sure he adds a little squirt at the end, just to be on the safe side.

 

[onehitwanda]

I bet you're great at sexy talk. "Yes, yes, nail me with care and understanding!"

I'm very much more a "put that tongue on me and don't stop until I stop breathing" kind of girl, but whatever floats your boat.

 

[TheLobster]

Now there is an idea...the handy man who prefers screwing to gluing.

I’m sure it would be a riveting tale.

 

[StillStunned]

I'm very much more a "put that tongue on me and don't stop until I stop breathing" kind of girl, but whatever floats your boat.

Presumably boats float best when they're screwed or nailed together, not glued.

 

[onehitwanda]

Presumably boats float best when they're screwed or nailed together, not glued.

The Royal navy swore by rivets and tar and we all know they were adroit at transporting vast quantities of seamen across the terraqueous globe.

 

[XerXesXu]

The Royal navy swore by rivets and tar and we all know they were adroit at transporting vast quantities of seamen across the terraqueous globe.

That's why I joined the marines.

 

[Bazzle]

I'm very much more a "put that tongue on me and don't stop until I stop breathing" kind of girl, but whatever floats your boat.

It would have to be a tongue and grove joint.

 

[onehitwanda]

grove

It's called the garden path for a reason.

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

I'm very much more a "put that tongue on me and don't stop until I stop breathing" kind of girl, but whatever floats your boat.

Tongue and groove is one of the stronger joins...

 

[AwkwardMD]

The human-generated entries in this conversation dwarf what the AI gave OP. Show of hands? Who is surprised?

 

[StillStunned]

Tongue and groove is one of the stronger joins...

It's what's been holding my marriage together for 20 years.

 

[onehitwanda]

The human-generated entries in this conversation dwarf what the AI gave OP. Show of hands? Who is surprised?

Never is a very long time, but I still maintain that no AI will ever match my depravity.

 

[StillStunned]

The human-generated entries in this conversation dwarf what the AI gave OP. Show of hands? Who is surprised?

Whatever this Grok is, we could probably make it cry by saying something like, "Your replies are unimaginative and repetitive. Are you not trying hard enough, or are you just a bit boring?"

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

It's what's been holding my marriage together for 20 years.

I've heard finger joins are pretty effective, too...

 

[AwkwardlySet]

Aww @HeyAll If we knew you wanted it, the AH would happily roast you. Free of charge of course.

By the way, why is it called "roasting?" Anyone knows the etymology? Why not baking or cooking... or stewing? Actually, pancaking makes the most sense to me.
Someone solve this mystery and I'll pancake them for free.

 

[gunhilltrain]

Presumably boats float best when they're screwed or nailed together, not glued.

Actually, steel ships used to be riveted together; now they are welded. There has been speculation that some of the rivets on the Titanic were of poor quality, thus letting the hull panels to separate more easily. Yes, I am going to compete with Mike Brady with my own ocean liner YouTube channel.

 

[alohadave]

Whatever this Grok is, we could probably make it cry by saying something like, "Your replies are unimaginative and repetitive. Are you not trying hard enough, or are you just a bit boring?"

Grok is Twitter's AI.