I'm not a Dom.

[Betticus]

Okay, something that has been going around in my mind lately and has been bothering me. Labels.

Everyone has a multitude of personality traits and it seems kind of counter productive to just stick yourself with one like master, dom, sub, slave, etc...

It's kind of like if you happen to have been shot in the leg once telling everyone that you are a limp. Since you might have a bit of a limp but that does not even come close to defining who you are as a whole person.

Slapping on a title for myself just feels wrong. I'm a whole person and not just one aspect of my personality so I'm just going to throw away all labels and just be betticus. Or Jeff if anyone cares. Or jeff, I don't really care about capitalisation either as I know who I am.

So I'm just going to be me for either good or bad as I have some of both of those things in me too. 99.99999% good though I think. Anyone who is interested enough to actually get to know me will know who I am along with all of those aspects of me that could fit some kind of label.

For what it's worth.

 

[Xelebes]

The best word to describe me is a sub but I'm not like that. I'm more of a fetishist, bondage and d/s come second, though usually that aspect helps a bit.

 

[BlueSugar]

Okay, something that has been going around in my mind lately and has been bothering me. Labels.

Everyone has a multitude of personality traits and it seems kind of counter productive to just stick yourself with one like master, dom, sub, slave, etc...

It's kind of like if you happen to have been shot in the leg once telling everyone that you are a limp. Since you might have a bit of a limp but that does not even come close to defining who you are as a whole person.

Slapping on a title for myself just feels wrong. I'm a whole person and not just one aspect of my personality so I'm just going to throw away all labels and just be betticus. Or Jeff if anyone cares. Or jeff, I don't really care about capitalisation either as I know who I am.

So I'm just going to be me for either good or bad as I have some of both of those things in me too. 99.99999% good though I think. Anyone who is interested enough to actually get to know me will know who I am along with all of those aspects of me that could fit some kind of label.

For what it's worth.

I'll toast to that!!

I'm tired of defending myself and my ply stature in the bdsm/vanilla world. It doesn't mean weak or unmotivated damnit.

"Take me AS I AM, because I'll be DAMNED if I EVER change."
Marquis DeSade

or the more popular

"I am, what I am."
Pop-eye

 

[Killishandra]

I'll toast to that!!


"I am, what I am."
Pop-eye

I think it sounds more like "I yam what I yam"

hehe

 

[Killishandra]

Btw, I dislike labels as well. Sometimes they can be very useful. However, a person is much more than a one-word description.

 

[catalina_francisco]

LOL, first social work lecture several years ago, we were all given a long list in tiny print that extended to 2 pages of all the titles most of us filled in our lives....the more simple being mother, sister, worker, student, household manager etc. It highlighted that we have many areas in our lives and many talents all in one body, but if you went for a professional position once you graduated it was ot going to do you any good to apply as someone's sister. While I do not believe in stereotyping someone according to their label because simply no 2 people are 100% the same, in the world of D/s, when I was looking for the one I wanted to live my life with it helped to advertise as a submissive who wanted to become a slave....otherwise I would have wasted a lot of precious time by either geting no responses or responses from those who could not fulfil my needs nor I theirs. Also being 24/7 and TPE, it is to a large extent who I am every minute of the day even though I am those other things as well....I just always take it for granted we all have a mix of titles that match usin particular...I am comfortable with who I am so why bother what anyone else thinks? LOL, much prefer some type of label as opposed to calling myself a thing or othing....sheesh I am a feminist and have fought hard to have my rights recognised, I am not about to give that up and become nothing!!

Catalina

 

[kitty4ever]

I'm sorry, but you have been, are now and always will be Uncle Betticus to me.

I know how you feel, but Catalina has a point. For what she was looking for, she had to pick a label to narrow her search down.

I have different labels, esp considering environment, who I'm talking to, etc. It's all part of the whole that is a human being. Choose a title or not, the important thing is to just be who you are.

 

[serijules]

Labels are great communication tools. It's when people start shoving people's labels into their own definitions that the problems start.

 

[Netzach]

And when people think they can infer everything about you via their interpretation of the label you are using.

 

[canadiancutie]

Okay, something that has been going around in my mind lately and has been bothering me. Labels.

Everyone has a multitude of personality traits and it seems kind of counter productive to just stick yourself with one like master, dom, sub, slave, etc...

It's kind of like if you happen to have been shot in the leg once telling everyone that you are a limp. Since you might have a bit of a limp but that does not even come close to defining who you are as a whole person.

Slapping on a title for myself just feels wrong. I'm a whole person and not just one aspect of my personality so I'm just going to throw away all labels and just be betticus. Or Jeff if anyone cares. Or jeff, I don't really care about capitalisation either as I know who I am.

So I'm just going to be me for either good or bad as I have some of both of those things in me too. 99.99999% good though I think. Anyone who is interested enough to actually get to know me will know who I am along with all of those aspects of me that could fit some kind of label.

For what it's worth.

so you would be upset if I labeled you as a hottie? Because dude, I would totally do you

 

[Marquis]

And when people think they can infer everything about you via their interpretation of the label you are using.

Bingo.


Good thread Betticus.

 

[CutieMouse]

*****

 

[TNRkitect2b]

Okay, something that has been going around in my mind lately and has been bothering me. Labels.

Everyone has a multitude of personality traits and it seems kind of counter productive to just stick yourself with one like master, dom, sub, slave, etc...

It's kind of like if you happen to have been shot in the leg once telling everyone that you are a limp. Since you might have a bit of a limp but that does not even come close to defining who you are as a whole person.

Slapping on a title for myself just feels wrong. I'm a whole person and not just one aspect of my personality so I'm just going to throw away all labels and just be betticus. Or Jeff if anyone cares. Or jeff, I don't really care about capitalisation either as I know who I am.

So I'm just going to be me for either good or bad as I have some of both of those things in me too. 99.99999% good though I think. Anyone who is interested enough to actually get to know me will know who I am along with all of those aspects of me that could fit some kind of label.

For what it's worth.

Amen to that.

I too am hesitant to call myself a dom, much less a Dom. *shrug* if people don't want me as I am, it is their problem not mine.

 

[CutieMouse]

*****

 

[Betticus]

And when people think they can infer everything about you via their interpretation of the label you are using.

You must be psychic. Would you give me six numbers, the first five between one and 51 and the last between 1 and 29 or so.

 

[Betticus]

LOL, first social work lecture several years ago, we were all given a long list in tiny print that extended to 2 pages of all the titles most of us filled in our lives....the more simple being mother, sister, worker, student, household manager etc. It highlighted that we have many areas in our lives and many talents all in one body, but if you went for a professional position once you graduated it was ot going to do you any good to apply as someone's sister. While I do not believe in stereotyping someone according to their label because simply no 2 people are 100% the same, in the world of D/s, when I was looking for the one I wanted to live my life with it helped to advertise as a submissive who wanted to become a slave....otherwise I would have wasted a lot of precious time by either geting no responses or responses from those who could not fulfil my needs nor I theirs. Also being 24/7 and TPE, it is to a large extent who I am every minute of the day even though I am those other things as well....I just always take it for granted we all have a mix of titles that match usin particular...I am comfortable with who I am so why bother what anyone else thinks? LOL, much prefer some type of label as opposed to calling myself a thing or othing....sheesh I am a feminist and have fought hard to have my rights recognised, I am not about to give that up and become nothing!!

Catalina

But you are Catalina!

 

[Sir_Winston54]

<Sigh> Labels, labels, labels... why are we so hung up on labels?

THE SETTING: A Scottish old-timer in Scotland, in a bar, talking to a young man.
Old Man: "Lad, look out there to the field. Do ya see that fence? Look how well it's built. I built that fence stone by stone with me own two hands. I piled it for months. But do they call me McGregor the fence builder? Nooooo."

Then the old man gestured at the bar. "Look here at the bar. Do ya see how smooth and just it is? I planed that surface down by me own achin' back. I carved that wood with me own hard labour, for eight days. But do they call me McGregor the bar maker? Noooooo."

Then the old man points out the window. "Eh, Laddy, look out to sea. Do ya see that pier that stretches out as far as the eye can see? I built that pier with the sweat off me back. I nailed it board by board. But do they call me McGregor-the-Pier-Builder? Nooo..."

Then the old man looks around nervously, trying to make sure no one is paying attention. "But ya suck one cock, and..."

 

[Netzach]

You must be psychic. Would you give me six numbers, the first five between one and 51 and the last between 1 and 29 or so.

48, 33, 27, 15, 9, 12

Only if I get half, though.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

48, 33, 27, 15, 9, 12

Only if I get half, though.

And I get the other half, cuz those are my numbers, too.

 

[Killishandra]

<Sigh> Labels, labels, labels... why are we so hung up on labels?

THE SETTING: A Scottish old-timer in Scotland, in a bar, talking to a young man.
Old Man: "Lad, look out there to the field. Do ya see that fence? Look how well it's built. I built that fence stone by stone with me own two hands. I piled it for months. But do they call me McGregor the fence builder? Nooooo."

Then the old man gestured at the bar. "Look here at the bar. Do ya see how smooth and just it is? I planed that surface down by me own achin' back. I carved that wood with me own hard labour, for eight days. But do they call me McGregor the bar maker? Noooooo."

Then the old man points out the window. "Eh, Laddy, look out to sea. Do ya see that pier that stretches out as far as the eye can see? I built that pier with the sweat off me back. I nailed it board by board. But do they call me McGregor-the-Pier-Builder? Nooo..."

Then the old man looks around nervously, trying to make sure no one is paying attention. "But ya suck one cock, and..."

I heard that, but I heard it "But you fuck ONE goat, and..."

 

[Private_Label]

Okay, something that has been going around in my mind lately and has been bothering me. Labels.

Everyone has a multitude of personality traits and it seems kind of counter productive to just stick yourself with one like master, dom, sub, slave, etc...

It's kind of like if you happen to have been shot in the leg once telling everyone that you are a limp. Since you might have a bit of a limp but that does not even come close to defining who you are as a whole person.

Slapping on a title for myself just feels wrong. I'm a whole person and not just one aspect of my personality so I'm just going to throw away all labels and just be betticus. Or Jeff if anyone cares. Or jeff, I don't really care about capitalisation either as I know who I am.

So I'm just going to be me for either good or bad as I have some of both of those things in me too. 99.99999% good though I think. Anyone who is interested enough to actually get to know me will know who I am along with all of those aspects of me that could fit some kind of label.

For what it's worth.

If I promise not to label you can I still perv on you?

 

[BlueSugar]

LOL, first social work lecture several years ago, we were all given a long list in tiny print that extended to 2 pages of all the titles most of us filled in our lives....
Catalina

I'd love to get my hands on that list for something to pass around as conversation/ Ice breaking material to bridge the gap in *my* ( i love saying that now ) munch group.

do you know if they printed it out, made it up?
Would you happen to have it still / able to make a photo copy or scan it in and send it to me/Lit ?

 

[ammre]

"dom" and "sub" arne't so much labels to me but rather descriptive titles we use when interacting in this world...
I use the description of "sub"

Funny, you'd never think that. I'm one of the most outspoken people in my "women in contemporary society" and "Psychology of gender" classes. I work in the Women's center, planning events, empowering women, educating the masses about women's issues. I'm somewhat known in several communities and thought it may seem trivial in real life, i'm the first woman to ever do a one point chest suspension .

Being a "sub" is a very small facit of my reality. Being an award winning naked slip-n-slider, or being a firespinner, or being a photographer and graphic designer... being a feminist... being a student, a daughter, a sister, a hero, a friend, those, too, are parts of me.

but i'll still call myself a submissive.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I'd love to get my hands on that list for something to pass around as conversation/ Ice breaking material to bridge the gap in *my* ( i love saying that now ) munch group.

do you know if they printed it out, made it up?
Would you happen to have it still / able to make a photo copy or scan it in and send it to me/Lit ?

I will try and locate it or if not, try and remember as many as I can.

Catalina

 

[BlueSugar]

"dom" and "sub" arne't so much labels to me but rather descriptive titles we use when interacting in this world...
I use the description of "sub"

Funny, you'd never think that. I'm one of the most outspoken people in my "women in contemporary society" and "Psychology of gender" classes. I work in the Women's center, planning events, empowering women, educating the masses about women's issues. I'm somewhat known in several communities and thought it may seem trivial in real life, i'm the first woman to ever do a one point chest suspension .

Being a "sub" is a very small facit of my reality. Being an award winning naked slip-n-slider, or being a firespinner, or being a photographer and graphic designer... being a feminist... being a student, a daughter, a sister, a hero, a friend, those, too, are parts of me.

but i'll still call myself a submissive.

I had a Dom reciently say I had switch qualities and can easly fit into a Domme's shoes with how I hold myself. I was beside myself.

Yes, I'm outspoken, strong willed, confident, inspired, driven, reaching, hate defeat, I like to be in control of situations, and I am leader and work better alone... etc and so on ... but being a pyl in my opinion is very different then having a meek, shy or even submissive personality.
A person can be both which is where the personality traits and the lable get confusing and hard to seperate (for conversation pov, if you 'had to' describe a person) and creates "oh, that person is a pyl, they are weak," stigma for the lifestyle.

Since taking over a Munch slowly, and finally getting granted power, if people do not read my profile or listen carefully when I talk, they start saying "thank you Mistress" and the like ... and I get confused, I suppose its a backwards compliment but I correct them the same and we laugh it off.

P.S Are you getting any kind of publicity for the first female single chest suspension? ? That is uber cool!