I'm naked, he's not

[tw63]

LOL ... I know! They do get to pick what color tie they're going to wear ... .

Okay, that makes more sense. I thought you were saying that you were always naked whenever you were home. That seemed like it would be incredibly challenging to pull off. But going naked for selective stretches is more workable. And I can see how that would actually be hotter.

The power of the male gaze. I can drop my panties without a second thought if I'm alone, but if he's watching me do it, I suddenly become shy. It's weird. And the urge to cover yourself with your hands afterwards is very strong. Part of the thrill is pushing through it and giving in to being naked.

I cannot get the female perspective here. All this talk about power and dominance. I've spent my life thinking we're equals in this part of the world. All I really want to do is just be naked. Spent the evening naked and she seemed to to be OK with it despite being clothed herself. No power play or dominance.

 

[sarobah]

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[sarobah]

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[BrightShinyGirl]

I must confess that I have a CMNF fetish (or as I prefer, NFCM), and have written a long story (which I will one day publish) about a NFCM-themed resort, where the women are naked 24/7. The sort of place I would be scared to visit but would build if I inherited a big enough fortune.

Oh, I'd love to read it when you're ready to share it!

I agree, I'd be terrified to visit such a place in real life, but the fantasy of doing such a thing ... oh my.

Have you seen the movie Eyes Wide Shut? There's a party scene where all the women are masked and (virtually) naked while all the men are formally dressed. I've fantasized about attending such a party many times ... .

It’s funny, the “male gaze” is often conflated with “objectification”. I don’t think the female body is objectified in this sense, but that’s another topic.

I agree with you. Just because a man is looking at me with desire doesn't necessarily mean that he's turning me into an object. Sometimes, as a woman, I WANT to be looked at and desired, and ideally the male gaze is directed in such a way that my sexuality becomes a part of my personhood, and not an erasure of it.

 

[BrightShinyGirl]

Far be it from me to speak for BSG (or to be seen to be taking over this thread), but we have been describing a power-exchange situation. Like any aspect of a sexual relationship, there are different approaches and perspectives.
There are lots of things that other people find exciting or erotic that I just don't get.

No, you're doing great!

Sometimes I think men don't appreciate the fundamental power relation between the sexes. Guys are bigger and stronger than us. It's usually very hard for a woman to physically force a man to do something he doesn't want to do. The opposite isn't usually true.

Now, most men are very nice and don't want to physically force women to do anything . But the potential is always there. If a man is submissive, it's because he chooses to be. Even in a CFNM situation, the man is voluntarily submitting to what's happening.

But when a woman is naked in front of a man, the power differential is different. She's vulnerable in a way that a naked man isn't. She's got to trust that the man will show restraint, because if he doesn't, the difference in physical strength means she probably can't just walk away from the situation.

It's a very complicated and nuanced thing, being naked in front of a man who's still dressed. You feel vulnerable and excited and protected and embarrassed and desired all at the same time. Or at least, I do. And that's what makes me crave it.

 

[sarobah]

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[lakesailer_mi]

No, you're doing great!

Sometimes I think men don't appreciate the fundamental power relation between the sexes. Guys are bigger and stronger than us. It's usually very hard for a woman to physically force a man to do something he doesn't want to do. The opposite isn't usually true.

Now, most men are very nice and don't want to physically force women to do anything . But the potential is always there. If a man is submissive, it's because he chooses to be. Even in a CFNM situation, the man is voluntarily submitting to what's happening.

But when a woman is naked in front of a man, the power differential is different. She's vulnerable in a way that a naked man isn't. She's got to trust that the man will show restraint, because if he doesn't, the difference in physical strength means she probably can't just walk away from the situation.

It's a very complicated and nuanced thing, being naked in front of a man who's still dressed. You feel vulnerable and excited and protected and embarrassed and desired all at the same time. Or at least, I do. And that's what makes me crave it.

Fascinating, and I do understand this.
I think at some level, those of us who are working toward a more egalitarian world (at least in our own little corner), don't want to hear some of this. But your point about physical differences is obviously quite valid.
Sarah's points as well, concerning the power differential.

I'm also intrigued by the thrill you find in this.

Thanks, it's a fascinating thread.

 

[BrightShinyGirl]

Fascinating, and I do understand this.
I think at some level, those of us who are working toward a more egalitarian world (at least in our own little corner), don't want to hear some of this. But your point about physical differences is obviously quite valid.

I think part of working toward a more egalitarian world involves acknowledging this that this sort of difference is real and accommodating for it. This doesn't mean that women should always submit to men because it's "natural". It means that there's a fundamental power inequality between men and women that's created by our physical differences and if we want everyone to be treated fairly there has to be some compensating asymmetry in our expectations of how each sex performs their gender.

LOL. It's kind of funny to be discussing these sorts of feminist issues in a forum like this. All I intended this thread to be was chatting about how hot it is to "stand naked in front of your man" as Sarah said. And all intellectual considerations aside, it IS incredibly hot. At least for me.

 

[UrbanBohemian]

This fantasy is more common than you might think. I'm a guy but I thought I should post about some things that I think might be what you're looking for.

I don't leave the house without at least a dress shirt and dress slacks on. I often wear blazers and even suits, though ties are kind of for special occasions. I like looking good. Just my thing. Anyway, I've known a few women into this so you definitely are far from alone here. The last relationship I had involved a lot of this. I would watch her undress and hold her naked body for as long as she wanted. She loved when I would hold her and make her feel safe in my arms. I loved that as well. I would tell her not to worry about the outside world. It's just about us and whatever else is going on can wait. We had sex like that more times than I could even hope to count. Of course I would have to clean my pants afterward but that's a small price to pay. She's happy and satisfied. That's what matters.

A less recent girlfriend took it a bit farther. I'll give you an example. I once told her to stand in front of a full-length mirror and undress. Not strip, just undress. I neatly folded every article of clothing and set it on the dresser. I even folded her socks. When she was naked I gently took her glasses off, folded them up, and laid them next to her clothes. So I stood behind her and we looked into the mirror as I told her how stunning she was. I kissed her neck and ran my hands over her body until she begged me to let her touch me. Which I did. I loved when she rubbed and fondled me over my pants. Eventually I'd let her unzip me and I think I'll leave the rest up to your imagination. But it was damn sexy.

I of course want to know about all the fantasies and preferences of anyone I'm with so what I was told was that one of the things it's about is exposing yourself in the most vulnerable position you can be in. And trusting me to keep you safe and secure. If you're naked there's nowhere to hide. You're showing all of yourself. If I'm seeing all of you and I still want to be there that means I'm accepting you as you are. All of you. You don't have to worry about hiding parts of yourself, you don't have to think about how to present yourself, and you know that the person you're with accepts you for who and what you are. Every inch of you. I get that. It's not hard to understand. You want to feel safe and accepted in someone's arms and to know that you, not some version of you, but *you* are the one he's with and how he wants to spend his time right now. Remember, when you're with someone you're saying that is the way you want to spend that time. You could be somewhere else or with someone else. But you're not. Because the person you're with is the most important thing to you at the moment. That's a feeling we can all relate to and when you're lying there exposed with nowhere to hide you're trusting them to make sure you're safe and happy. When you know that's what they want for you that's one of the deepest and most intimate connections you can possibly make.

 

[lakesailer_mi]

I think part of working toward a more egalitarian world involves acknowledging this that this sort of difference is real and accommodating for it. This doesn't mean that women should always submit to men because it's "natural". It means that there's a fundamental power inequality between men and women that's created by our physical differences and if we want everyone to be treated fairly there has to be some compensating asymmetry in our expectations of how each sex performs their gender.

LOL. It's kind of funny to be discussing these sorts of feminist issues in a forum like this. All I intended this thread to be was chatting about how hot it is to "stand naked in front of your man" as Sarah said. And all intellectual considerations aside, it IS incredibly hot. At least for me.

That's Lit for you! We can't just get all aroused, we have to know WHY!
(for me, at least, because if I write about it in a story, I want to understand it...)

And I agree. It is a very arousing idea.
And I can't decide which side I want to be on. Maybe taking turns...

 

[BrightShinyGirl]

I of course want to know about all the fantasies and preferences of anyone I'm with so what I was told was that one of the things it's about is exposing yourself in the most vulnerable position you can be in. And trusting me to keep you safe and secure. If you're naked there's nowhere to hide. You're showing all of yourself. If I'm seeing all of you and I still want to be there that means I'm accepting you as you are. All of you. You don't have to worry about hiding parts of yourself, you don't have to think about how to present yourself, and you know that the person you're with accepts you for who and what you are. Every inch of you.

Yes! It's about feeling vulnerable and protected at the same time.

Being naked when he's fully clothed magnifies both those feelings. If we're both undressed, then we're kind of on the same level. But if it's just me, then it feels like I'm EXTRA NAKED ... if that makes any sense. When I'm naked and he's not, I'm more aware of just how exposed I am, and just how he's looking at me, and the conflicting tug between my modesty and my arousal.

 

[BrightShinyGirl]

That's Lit for you! We can't just get all aroused, we have to know WHY!
(for me, at least, because if I write about it in a story, I want to understand it...)

And now I suddenly find myself fantasizing what it would be like to debate these issues with a man while I'm actually naked. Just the two of us sitting there having a calm, rational intellectual discussion about the male gaze, and female desire, and power differentials, and sexual display. Only he's impeccably dressed in an expensive suit and I'm wearing nothing at all.

There's some sort of story there.

Sometimes my mind is very weird.

 

[LauraWilling]

I never thought of it as you are stating,but there is something rather erotic about this. I've done it a lot in my life, but then I made a living doing it. Being a photographers model, it is something I did nearly every day in front of many men. I've also done it with boyfriends then my husband, of course and with some of his friends. I know this is a lot more than what you were asking, but I understand what you mean, but also why I said I never thought of it as you do. Being nude in front of men who are fully clothed was a normal situation for me when I was working.

 

[ChattyAnnie]

This thread is so hot! I haven't done this often, but you are so right about the feeling of vulnerability from being naked in front of a clothed man. It can be very erotic.

 

[stretch351]

Being nude in front of men who are fully clothed was a normal situation for me when I was working.

Laura,
somehow I seem to have got the impression that you are an exhibitionist!
And I must say that I approve

 

[LauraWilling]

Laura,
somehow I seem to have got the impression that you are an exhibitionist!
And I must say that I approve

LOL!!! How'd you guess? Yeah, it helps when taking off your clothes to make a living, but it is also a lot of fun and very exciting for me, still to this day. When at home, I stay naked if it is warm and I live in Arizona, so it is warm most of the year.

 

[LauraWilling]

Laura,
somehow I seem to have got the impression that you are an exhibitionist!
And I must say that I approve

LOL!!! How'd you guess? Yeah, it helps when taking off your clothes to make a living, but it is also a lot of fun and very exciting for me, still to this day. When at home, I stay naked if it is warm and I live in Arizona, so it is warm most of the year.

 

[sarobah]

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[tw63]

Thanks

No, you're doing great!

Sometimes I think men don't appreciate the fundamental power relation between the sexes. Guys are bigger and stronger than us. It's usually very hard for a woman to physically force a man to do something he doesn't want to do. The opposite isn't usually true.

Now, most men are very nice and don't want to physically force women to do anything . But the potential is always there. If a man is submissive, it's because he chooses to be. Even in a CFNM situation, the man is voluntarily submitting to what's happening.

But when a woman is naked in front of a man, the power differential is different. She's vulnerable in a way that a naked man isn't. She's got to trust that the man will show restraint, because if he doesn't, the difference in physical strength means she probably can't just walk away from the situation.

It's a very complicated and nuanced thing, being naked in front of a man who's still dressed. You feel vulnerable and excited and protected and embarrassed and desired all at the same time. Or at least, I do. And that's what makes me crave it.

Thankyou. I appreciated your input. I confess, I wouldn't force a woman and likely would have a great deal of trouble doing so even if she asked me to. It's just not there. As a result I'm constantly surprised when a woman acts as though I'm a threat to her. Your point is well made, and I'm a bit embarrassed at not picking that out before.

I guess some guys (me) need it spelled out for them.

 

[sarobah]

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[BrightShinyGirl]

Not so weird. I have actually done this, in a sense. It was one of the few occasions when I’ve been so daring in public (also in a sense). Rob (my bf) and I were having a picnic in an isolated spot. I was wearing a little yellow sundress, and in a moment of impulsiveness I took it off, and my undies, and sat on the blanket completely naked except for my sandals. Being out in the open, albeit in a secluded location, I felt particularly exposed and vulnerable; and the interesting thing is that I felt more safe and protected with Rob fully clothed.

At the time we were discussing something quite esoteric. I think it was about the philosophy of science — we do that a lot. Kinky, I know. And incidentally, because I am very assertive and Rob is so easy-going, I had the better of the argument. But that may be because he was more nervous than me about my nudity, fearful that a bunch of hikers might stumble upon us.

I'm imagining a scene something like Manet's Luncheon on the Grass.

Which I've always thought looked incredibly fun. A beautiful spring day, some wine, some cheese, some stimulating conversation ... some casual female nudity.

It's kind of cute how they can get thrown off balance by seeing us naked, isn't it?


http://everypainterpaintshimself.com/article_images_new/manet_Dejeuner.jpg

 

[BrightShinyGirl]

Thankyou. I appreciated your input. I confess, I wouldn't force a woman and likely would have a great deal of trouble doing so even if she asked me to. It's just not there. As a result I'm constantly surprised when a woman acts as though I'm a threat to her. Your point is well made, and I'm a bit embarrassed at not picking that out before.

I guess some guys (me) need it spelled out for them.

No, it's fine! How would you know?

I'm sure most men are like you. The thought of manhandling a woman or physically threatening her never even crosses their minds. And, frankly, as a girl who's pretty firmly heterosexual in her outlook, I LIKE the fact that men and bigger and stronger than me. And not just in the "honey would you open the pickle jar" way. (Although that is convenient! Thank you for doing stuff like that.) I like the thrill of being picked up or held down during sex, the feeling of being overwhelmed and overpowered. A man who's strong and powerful in the right kind of way can be incredibly sexy.

 

[sarobah]

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[BrightShinyGirl]

Two more stories...
When I first started working in academia, I had an office that was about the size of a telephone booth. (Remember those?) My boyfriend at the time (Jack) visited me only rarely. (For some reason I never uncovered he was persona non grata in the physics department.) One time he wanted to have a kiss ’n’ cuddle session even though there was barely enough room to stand between the desk and the door. I was wearing jeans and a sweater. As we began to fondle each other, he lifted my sweater up to my shoulders along with my bra, and after a little persuasion I allowed him to push down my jeans and knickers. So I was naked from neck to knees. Yet when I tried to unbutton his shirt, he stopped me.

That’s when I first understood the power of CMNF, because I was terrified someone would discover us like that, as my office door did not have a lock. I was the one who would suffer the embarrassment and humiliation… which I found very arousing even though I have not taken such a risk since.

Later, I got my lock. Jack turned up on a Friday afternoon and I was wearing a little frock. He wanted to “make out” on my desk. Again he convinced me to strip, all the way this time, while he remained fully clothed. His rationale was that I just had to take off my dress and panties (and could put them on quickly again if anyone came a-knocking), while he was wearing so much more. I saw through his logic, yet it was a weird but wonderful feeling being made love to while completely naked by a fully dressed man, and with people going about their business on the other side of the door.

I love your stories! The situations you describe are so incredibly sexually charged.

I had a similar "well it just makes more sense for you to be naked" experience in my early 20's. I was dating a guy and we'd driven to a lake out in the country to ... ahem ... "look at the stars", but really we just wanted a secluded place to fool around. At first it was just kissing, but as it got more serious he started finding reasons for me to be more and more undressed. Like "Well ... I can't really play with your nipples with your bra in the way ... but if you're going to take off your bra, you really should take off your shirt first ... and if I'm going to touch you between your legs I need to pull your panties down a bit ... but I can't pull down your panties because your jeans are too tight ... but if you're going to take your jeans off, then your shoes need to come off first ... etc." Each little suggestion he made sounded completely logical, but in pretty short order it meant that I was totally naked while he still had all his clothes on.

And we were right out in the open! There weren't any trees or anything to hide what we were up to, and I'm naturally very pale, so in the moonlight my bare skin was practically glowing. I mean, it was a pretty secluded place and there didn't seem to be anyone else around, but there was no way to be sure. He was sitting on a log facing the water and I was straddling him, and his hands were running everywhere and that felt really incredible, but a part of me was absolutely terrified because if anybody came along I was the one who would be caught naked. He stayed dressed the whole time, even while we had sex with me sitting in his lap. And afterwards I couldn't find my panties in the dark and he didn't help me look.

 

[sarobah]

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