I'm happy alone

[NaughtyGingerBoy]

i've thought that. Of the problems that we split over - they werent really problems to be honest. They were issues with us both being immature. I've grown out of those habits and so far as i can tell - so has he. Its not a matter of us getting back together-that subject is closed thanks to Nipple Muncher. Right now its a matter of keeping the friendship after we've recently had sex.

Ah fair enough. best of luck to you x

 

[NippleMuncher]

Another thing you could do is try celibacy. Take sex off the table completely forces you to get to know the person first, rather than leading with animal instinct which is rarely a good idea. It's not for everybody, but it does help to refocus on yourself and what you want in and from another person.

 

[njlauren]

The road to something is paved with good intentions.

First off, I presume you've not really processed the breakup. I know you feel great and all, but I highly doubt it has settled in. The fact that you're fucking someone already, to me, makes me think you aren't as happy being single as you portray or you want to portray. I think your heart is genuine, but I don't think you completely get it.

Second, sex is a powerful drug. I promise it is going to cause problems here. One, or both of you, is going to get in a sticky place (see what I did there?). The FWB thing doesn't work as often as people like. Proceed with caution.

Once again, you have hit the nail on the head, Pmann, I totally agree with what you posted. For the OP, there is nothing wrong with being single, from taking time out, and quite frankly it was unwise to do anything with your ex like that that could be construed as rebuilding a relationship. To you it was just sex perhaps, but as Pmann points out sex is complicated, it rarely is just sex, especially when it is with people you once had a relationship with. Among other things, the guy is probably thinking like 'wow, we had sex, it was great, guess that means she is interested', despite the stereotypes of guys and sex, they often do tie that into the emotional side of things. I think it would be a mistake to have this guy as a FWB, in fact I would , at least for the short term, perhaps avoid sex if you feel that you tend to jump into relationships quickly, that guy you fucked last night can turn into tomorrows next relationship when deep down you don't want it.

As for the ex, be honest with him, tell him that you simply aren't looking for a relationship at this point, need time simply to come down from the last one and you feel it is better you guys don't try to revisit the past at this point and that while the sex that night was great (or whatever), it is better if that isn't repeated until you have figured out what you need, that you need time simply to recharge, step off the relationship train, and take time simply to sit back and enjoy life with friends without the pressure. If the guy really likes you, he will understand it isn't about him, if he gets hurt and you made the effort not to hurt him, that is on him, that is his own ego saying "Gee, why isn't she crazy about me" instead of saying "yeah, I hear ya, let's play it as friends and if you are ready for something different, we'll see then".