I'm finally published -- sort of

[Weird Harold]

For those who have asked, my story is finally posted. It's 'Schoolgirl Blackmail' credited to the voice in the back of my head I call 'Dirty Old Man'.

So it isn't really me (Weird Harold) that's published. It One of my dependent personalities that published. Can I still hang out in this forum, or do I have to let him take over when I'm in here?

 

[Weird Harold]

Originally posted by deborah:
Haven't you heard of the "Volunteer Editor Program" I wonder?

Oddly enough, yes I have heard of the volunteer editor program. It exists in part because I didn't have anyone to proofread this story. It came into existance about three days AFTER I submitted it.

Originally posted by deborah:
Harold, I thought your story was a riot. VERY funny! I like funny sex.

Why thank you. You're the first to see the humor in it.

 

[Weird Harold]

Originally posted by rachel picabia:
(I'm sure you intended this to be read as a type of dark erotic humour, and that you were attempting, partly, to shock the readers - 2 things I like to do myself

Actually, It was intended as a warning that not everything is what it looks like.

Originally posted by rachel picabia:
(I didn't like Dirty Old Man's story. I wouldn't 'fight to the death for your right to publish it'.

I think you should kill off Dirty Old Man. Let Weird Harold do the writing. I'm sure he's got some fine erotica in him.

Different strokes for different folks. I don't expect everyone to like the stories, and would be surprised if everyone did. At least you weren't apathetic about it.

I think you'll like some of the other stories Dirty Old Man has in the works. He's done 'rape fantasy' and gotten it out of his system (mostly). I think this one is probably as close to being banished to the allextreme section as he's going to get.

 

[Deborah]

Weirdo, I went and read your story.

First, can the cm, kg and kilo jive. I'm not into doing metric conversions while I'm reading a story.

Second, you made a bunch of punctuation errors. Like at the end of "Hey! This little girl's naughty. She ain't wearin' no panties" which is at the end of page 2 if printed, you need a period just as some of us who are not interested in having children do. Haven't you heard of the "Volunteer Editor Program" I wonder?

Harold, I thought your story was a riot. VERY funny! I like funny sex. This line "I managed to hide the first ten orgasms, not counting those I screamed out when Herman raped my ass" was my favorite.

 

[Rachel Picabia]

Harold. You were kind about my work so I decided to have a look at your first publication.

I've got nothing critical to say about your style or writing abilities but, I'm sorry, I found the content disturbing.

It's fair enough that you possibly have this school-girl gang-rape scenario as some kind of secret taboo turn-on. (I'm sure you intended this to be read as a type of dark erotic humour, and that you were attempting, partly, to shock the readers - 2 things I like to do myself.) Many women have rape fantasies (we'd NEVER EVER want them to come true). But I think to encourage this type of set-up in erotic fiction, normalising it and making it seem like an exciting sexual act that the girl actually takes pleasure from, rather than something that in reality would traumatise her for life is dangerous.

I know you Americans love that bit in your constitution about freedom of speach. I'm not from the US. It means nothing to me. In the UK, the people who shout loudest about freedom of speach are the National Front, who want the right to go on television and promote violence against Blacks, Pakistanis, Indians, Chinese, Japanese, Catholics and anyone else who isn't White, working-class and twisted up by bitterness.

British censorship laws are a complete pain in the arse. In British films or porn we can't see penetration, erections, oral sex, or ejaculation. I hate British censorship laws. I wish we were more like Scandinavia.

But in Britain, a category of erotica called 'non-consent' would be illegal. The paodophilic content of your story would result in public outcry and tabloid newspaper headlines.

For once in my life, I agree with the British censors (I still think their a bunch of patronising, middle-class arse-holes with too much time on their hands, though).

I didn't like Dirty Old Man's story. I wouldn't 'fight to the death for your right to publish it'.

I think you should kill off Dirty Old Man. Let Weird Harold do the writing. I'm sure he's got some fine erotica in him.

I'm going away now. See you all next week.

love
rachel
xox

 

[Rachel Picabia]

Yes, I KNOW I spelled 'they're' wrong before any of you start.

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

There was much about your story that I liked. I liked your set-up description of the girl -- the popping button, the sweaty back -- all of that placed a nice, sexy image in my mind (much more so than the pedantic and sterile metric conversion passage, and any other moment where you take out a ruler).

I'm not into rape stories myself, but that's me.

The twist served to take the story in a new, interesting (if unbelievable) direction.

It was a nicely thought out attempt. Good luck on future stories.

 

[Rachel Picabia]

Harold. I'm far too drunk to say anything sensible, so please humour me (at least till the end of the paragraph). (Oh. Well, the next one, then.)

I must admit, I didn't read your story from beginning to end. I browsed through the first para. Found it vaguely amusing. Archetypal schoolgirl in pigtails. Pretty much a cartoon character. Smelly undies. Hard to take seriously. Skimmed forward. Seemed to be some kind of gang-rape going on. Skimmed some more. Girl now demanding satisfaction from would-be rapists. I found myself angry. (In my version of the story, the pig-tailed school-girl gets revenge with a baseball bat, not by 'turning the tables'. She wants to dash her attachers' brains out against the wall like Lady MacBeth's suckling babe - not fuck them till they plead 'no more'. Seen this kinda thing in far too much 'erotic fiction'. Pisses me the fuck off. Sorry.) Not good at being diplomatic or holding tongue when ire is raised (my problem - but just something you have to accept about me). Your story was not the direct target of my enraged spleen...

 

[Rachel Picabia]

...mereley the trigger that set me off onone of my highly entertaining and informative Picabial rants (read this with the same sarcastically raised left eye-brow I wrote it with). It could just have easily been my toast falling butter-side-down to the floor (my hormones are raging this week). Having said all this, I don't want you to think I'm backtracking in any way. I stand by all I said. but take it as a general contempt for rape-fiction, not a personal attack on you or your writing.

Now I demand some truly horny fiction involvling cunnilingus, watersports, a 10 inch 'steely dan' (reference 'Naked Lunch') and an oiled-up muscular Italian in tight shorts.

Hint - it's the Italian that gets the dildo in the ass.

Keep writing (God, I'm so fucking patronising, sometimes).

love rachel xox

 

[Weird Harold]

Originally posted by rachel picabia:
Having said all this, I don't want you to think I'm backtracking in any way. I stand by all I said. but take it as a general contempt for rape-fiction, not a personal attack on you or your writing.

I never took it as either. As I said before, different strokes for different folks.

I'm glad you pictured her as a stereotypical schoolgirl. That's exactly the image I wanted. I'm sorry that you skimmed over the alternate image of 'fangs down to my nipples and breathing fire at them.' The heroine is NOT a nice little girl, no matter how she looks. (BTW, Liniment, like Ben-Gay (tm), isn't just 'smelly undies' It's downright painful if it gets on sensitive tissues.)

Originally posted by rachel picabia:
Now I demand some truly horny fiction involvling cunnilingus, watersports, a 10 inch 'steely dan' (reference 'Naked Lunch') and an oiled-up muscular Italian in tight shorts.

I've got two in the works that involve cunnilingus. The plot of one is absolutely dependent on cunnilingus. Haven't done any toy stories yet, don't have any plans for any either.

Muscular Italian? I think I could use that idea. Just how muscular should she be?

 

[Weird Harold]

Originally posted by Dixon Carter Lee:
There was much about your story that I liked. I liked your set-up description of the girl -- the popping button, the sweaty back -- all of that placed a nice, sexy image in my mind
...

The twist served to take the story in a new, interesting (if unbelievable) direction.

It was a nicely thought out attempt. Good luck on future stories.

I think you for your kind words. I tried for the image of a sterotypical schoolgirl having a bad day which just kept getting worse.

The next story up for submission has gotten good reviews from my proofreaders. It's more a romantic/humourous piece.

 

[Rachel Picabia]

Oh, yeah, I forgot to ask, Harold - who's the guy with the beard standing next to you in your profile pic?

 

[Laurel]

I liked the story. I took the whole piece as black comedy and from that angle it was entertaining - sort of a twisted "Ransom of Red Chief" is I think how I described it to Harold. I didn't really see it as a rape story, else it would've been shuffled over to AllExtremeSex... The main reason it didn't offend me was there were no "innocent" victims in the piece. The schoolgirl is as lewd and rude as the perps, and to see her take a gang out to satisfy themselves and make them satisfy HER was funny to me. But I'm a sick puppy.

 

[Deborah]

I'll play it again Harold. I thought your story was funny as hell. The perfect parody, incredibly satirical, whether you intended it to be or not.

Harold, you should pretend you are smarter than you really are. Works for me.

 

[Rachel Picabia]

What, you mean there's a vampire in it? Cool! I like vampires.

Maybe I'll actually read your next story before I do the review.

Your Italian - I reckon if she excercises the right muscles she could do all kinds of useful things like open bottles and launch ping-pong balls (reference - a club I heard about in Ibiza).

rachel
xox

 

[Weird Harold]

Originally posted by rachel picabia:
Oh, yeah, I forgot to ask, Harold - who's the guy with the beard standing next to you in your profile pic?

I just knew that remark was coming, There was supposed to be a caption under the profile pick that says 'I'm the one in the hat.' to forestall it.

I'm sure you already know, but the big grey creature is Eeyore from the Winny the Pooh stories.

 

[Rachel Picabia]

Well done, team. We've just managed to light another one of those cute little suitcases. I LOVE that part. Eeyore's story is sure to be a best seller now.

Luv
The Twisted Firestarter
xox

ps - Laurel. I wouldn't mention the puppy bit in front of Tigg. Have you seen what she makes the poor creatures do to her? lol