LITEROTICA PODCAST
LIT CAMS (200 Free Tokens)ADULT TOYSVOD MOVIES

I'm Bored

RedHairedandFriendly said:
I dont think you'll have a heart attack any time soon.. lol!!
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Shoes

Never say anything about a man until you have walked a mile in his shoes - because then you are a mile away and you've got his shoes and you can say whatever the hell you want about him
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Does that mean you now know the answer to your question?

That's good :)

I'm going to vanish for 5 minutes but will brb :kiss:
 
wanderer2704 said:
Does that mean you now know the answer to your question?

That's good :)

I'm going to vanish for 5 minutes but will brb :kiss:
Click to expand...
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Cosmopolitan Redneck

You know you're a redneck when the biggest city you've been to is Wal-Mart.
 
RedHairedandFriendly said:
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Cosmopolitan Redneck

You know you're a redneck when the biggest city you've been to is Wal-Mart.
Click to expand...

Over here that would be Asda as they are owned by Wal-Mart.

Just trying to educate you in things English.
 
wanderer2704 said:
Over here that would be Asda as they are owned by Wal-Mart.

Just trying to educate you in things English.
Click to expand...
Well thank you greatly appreciated!

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24 Fun Things To Do In An Elevator...

1. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"

2. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.

3. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"

4. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.

5. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

6. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

7. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.

8. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.

9. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"

10. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, no, not now, damn motion sickness!"

11. Meow occasionally.

12. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.

13. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

14. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.

15. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.

16. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"

17. Say "Ding!" at each floor.

18. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.

19. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

20. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."

21. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

22. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

23. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.

24. Stop at every floor, run off the elevator, then run back on.
 
RedHairedandFriendly said:
Well thank you greatly appreciated!

__________________________________________________

24 Fun Things To Do In An Elevator...

1. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"

2. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.

3. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"

4. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.

5. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

6. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

7. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.

8. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.

9. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"

10. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, no, not now, damn motion sickness!"

11. Meow occasionally.

12. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.

13. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

14. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.

15. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.

16. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"

17. Say "Ding!" at each floor.

18. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.

19. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

20. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."

21. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

22. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

23. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.

24. Stop at every floor, run off the elevator, then run back on.
Click to expand...

Its actually scary how many times I've been in elevator (we call them lifts) and I've either done some of those things or someone else is doing them.
 
wanderer2704 said:
Its actually scary how many times I've been in elevator (we call them lifts) and I've either done some of those things or someone else is doing them.
Click to expand...
I don't mind "lifts" I hate escalators...
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Motivational Quotes for Cannibals

"If we don't change the direction we're going, we're likely to end up at the wrong end."
"People who go out of their way to help others have great taste."

"An eye for an eye leaves everybody blind, but not hungry."

"Don't give up though the pace seems slow, you may succeed at another morgue."

"A journey of a hundred trillion cells begins with a single nibble."

"The only difference between a big shot and a little shot is that the big shot takes longer to chew."

"It's all right to have little butterflies in your stomach. In fact, I'd say a trip to the elementary school play is a wonderful idea."

"You don't know what your appetite can get away with until you try. Or are tried."

"If you carry your childhood with you, you should probably go the bathroom soon."

"Never keep up with Joneses. Have them over for dinner."

"Let your hook always be cast. In the pool where you least expect it, will be a very startled swimmer."
 
RedHairedandFriendly said:
I don't mind "lifts" I hate escalators...
___________________________________________________

Motivational Quotes for Cannibals

"If we don't change the direction we're going, we're likely to end up at the wrong end."
"People who go out of their way to help others have great taste."

"An eye for an eye leaves everybody blind, but not hungry."

"Don't give up though the pace seems slow, you may succeed at another morgue."

"A journey of a hundred trillion cells begins with a single nibble."

"The only difference between a big shot and a little shot is that the big shot takes longer to chew."

"It's all right to have little butterflies in your stomach. In fact, I'd say a trip to the elementary school play is a wonderful idea."

"You don't know what your appetite can get away with until you try. Or are tried."

"If you carry your childhood with you, you should probably go the bathroom soon."

"Never keep up with Joneses. Have them over for dinner."

"Let your hook always be cast. In the pool where you least expect it, will be a very startled swimmer."
Click to expand...

Lol

What's wrong with escalators? Don't tell me you don't like stepping off and think you're going to follow the stairs as they go underneath.
 
wanderer2704 said:
Lol

What's wrong with escalators? Don't tell me you don't like stepping off and think you're going to follow the stairs as they go underneath.
Click to expand...
I just do not like them... I don't like the dark either.
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Redneck on the Radio

A redneck calls into a radio advice show and asks, ''If I get divorced from my wife, does that mean she ain't my sister any more?''
 
RedHairedandFriendly said:
I just do not like them... I don't like the dark either.
__________________________________________

Redneck on the Radio

A redneck calls into a radio advice show and asks, ''If I get divorced from my wife, does that mean she ain't my sister any more?''
Click to expand...


The second one's simple, leave the light on...I find its always more fun that way anyway ;)

That joke I like. :D
 
wanderer2704 said:
The second one's simple, leave the light on...I find its always more fun that way anyway ;)

That joke I like. :D
Click to expand...
Well in the house isn't the problem it is in the outdoors like when camping....!!!
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Laundromat Blues

Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up women?
Because a women who can't afford her own washing machine won't be able to support you!
 
RedHairedandFriendly said:
Well in the house isn't the problem it is in the outdoors like when camping....!!!
_________________________________


Laundromat Blues

Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up women?
Because a women who can't afford her own washing machine won't be able to support you!
Click to expand...

I've never met a woman yet able to support me! lol

Haven't you heard of gas lamps or torches?
 
wanderer2704 said:
I've never met a woman yet able to support me! lol

Haven't you heard of gas lamps or torches?
Click to expand...
Yes.. but bears, and evil people stalk the night.
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Little Old Lady Knows How to Gamble

A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day, carrying a bag of money. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because, "It's a lot of money!" After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her into the president's office.

The bank president then asked her how much she would like to deposit. She replied, "$165,000!" and dumped the cash out of her bag onto his desk. The president was, of course, curious as to how she came by all this cash, so he asked her, "Ma'am, I'm surprised you're carrying so much cash around. Where did you get this money?" The old lady replied, "I make bets."

The president then asked, "Bets? What kind of bets?" The old woman said, "Well, for example, I'll bet you $25,000 that your balls are square." "Ha!" laughed the president, "That's a stupid bet. You can never win that kind of bet!" The old lady challenged, "So, would you like to take my bet?" "Sure," said the president, "I'll bet $25,000 that my balls are not square!" The little old lady then said, "Okay, but since there is a lot of money involved, may I bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10:00 am as a witness?" "Sure!" replied the confident president.

That night, the president got very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of a mirror checking his balls, turning from side to side, again and again. He thoroughly checked them out until he was sure that there was absolutely no way his balls were square and that he would win the bet.

The next morning, at precisely 10 am, the little old lady appeared with her lawyer at the president's office. She introduced the lawyer to the president and repeated the bet: "$25,000 says the president's balls are square!" The president agreed with the bet again and the old lady asked him to drop his pants so they could all see. The president complied. The little old lady peered closely at his balls and then asked if she could feel them. "Well, Okay," said the president,"$25,000 is a lot of money, so I guess you should be absolutely sure."

Just then, he noticed that the lawyer was quietly banging his head against the wall. The president asked the old lady, "What the hell's the matter with your lawyer?" She replied, "Nothing, except I bet him $50,000 that at 10 am today, I'd have the president of the Bank of Canada's balls in my hand."
 
RedHairedandFriendly said:
Yes.. but bears, and evil people stalk the night.
__________________________________






Little Old Lady Knows How to Gamble

A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day, carrying a bag of money. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because, "It's a lot of money!" After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her into the president's office.

The bank president then asked her how much she would like to deposit. She replied, "$165,000!" and dumped the cash out of her bag onto his desk. The president was, of course, curious as to how she came by all this cash, so he asked her, "Ma'am, I'm surprised you're carrying so much cash around. Where did you get this money?" The old lady replied, "I make bets."

The president then asked, "Bets? What kind of bets?" The old woman said, "Well, for example, I'll bet you $25,000 that your balls are square." "Ha!" laughed the president, "That's a stupid bet. You can never win that kind of bet!" The old lady challenged, "So, would you like to take my bet?" "Sure," said the president, "I'll bet $25,000 that my balls are not square!" The little old lady then said, "Okay, but since there is a lot of money involved, may I bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10:00 am as a witness?" "Sure!" replied the confident president.

That night, the president got very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of a mirror checking his balls, turning from side to side, again and again. He thoroughly checked them out until he was sure that there was absolutely no way his balls were square and that he would win the bet.

The next morning, at precisely 10 am, the little old lady appeared with her lawyer at the president's office. She introduced the lawyer to the president and repeated the bet: "$25,000 says the president's balls are square!" The president agreed with the bet again and the old lady asked him to drop his pants so they could all see. The president complied. The little old lady peered closely at his balls and then asked if she could feel them. "Well, Okay," said the president,"$25,000 is a lot of money, so I guess you should be absolutely sure."

Just then, he noticed that the lawyer was quietly banging his head against the wall. The president asked the old lady, "What the hell's the matter with your lawyer?" She replied, "Nothing, except I bet him $50,000 that at 10 am today, I'd have the president of the Bank of Canada's balls in my hand."
Click to expand...


That I like. Thanks Red :D
 
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