If your first boyfriend e-mailed after many years

[freescorfr]

I've just contacted an old flame who ditched me decades ago. What would your reaction be, if your first boyfriend got back in touch with you, ladies?

 

[sabbathstorm]

That's an easy one: I'd ask him how his boyfriend was

 

[anneski]

I've just contacted an old flame who ditched me decades ago. What would your reaction be, if your first boyfriend got back in touch with you, ladies?

First real boyfriend? My reaction would be to move. But then, he was a raving power control freak psycho..... <shiver>

 

[bluemuse]

I'd ask for my Sr. Lopez and puka shells back.......


bluemuse

 

[MidnightAngel]

He did.

The old flame burned hot for a while. Then we both began to realize why we'd split up in the first place.

 

[tswyk]

He wasn't the first boyfriend, but he WAS the most important one. After not seeing each other for 15 years and not speaking for more than 5, he contacted me - 10 months ago - via e-mail.

We're still in contact on almost a daily basis. Some things are still the same - he's still a stubborn, "always right" kinda guy, and he still has a major hold on my heart.

But...somethings are different. And it's been very enlightening. We still haven't seen each other, we may never. But, I wouldn't trade anything for what we've shared in the last few months. If I NEVER see him again, there will be no regrets for our contact.

 

[cymbidia]

I'd contact the tabloids, first, and then ask him if hell was really as hot as has been reported.
(He died in a car wreck a number of years after we split up rather acrimoniously.)

 

[Gilly Bean]

I would email him back, maybe make some polite chit chat, but leave it at that. You know, kind of update him. Hey, I'm married, have 3 kids, I'm happy, that sort of stuff.

If he persists in wanting to see me, or what not, I would tell him, You know, there is a reason we broke up. Go enjoy your life, and let me enjoy mine.

 

[MorgaineLaFay]

I've just contacted an old flame who ditched me decades ago. What would your reaction be, if your first boyfriend got back in touch with you, ladies?

I am actually still in contact with my first boyfriend. We live in seperate states , he has a family of his own now, his wife just gave birth to their first child. We email each other every now & then to see how the other is doing. I am not sure if it was the connection we had so many years ago or the fact that he was my first, that keeps us close.


Morgy

 

[Andreina]

my mum & her first boyfriend

about a year ago my mum was - out of the blue - contacted by her first ever boyfriend. when she was young a french family lived in the house opposite of them and, despite her older sister had a crush on him, started going out with the family's son, called Claude. Well, a few months later they moved back to France, where he got married. Two years ago he got divorced and moved back to where he spent his childhood.
He went to open a bank account and who should be his adviser in the bank? My mum's older sister. Well, ever since the three of them are inseperable - just good friends. I hope. lol

He wanted to meet me one day but I was like "no no" - I don't want to get involved in my mum's affairs.


Halo

 

[freescorfr]

Thank you ladies, that's quite a range. I've just been utterly surprised by the power of the feelings awakened in me after making contact with an old girl friend of mine - it broke up 28 years ago. Contact renewed thanks to Lit - I only joined you a week ago.
I've reversed into my daughter's car (30 years without an accident- well car accident) tripped over a pebble on some concrete and broken a rib and trembled over picking up the phone - I got her husband and I calmed down quite fast.

Any advice on our meeting tomorrow? I'd prefer it not to start like the F1 yesterday.

First words - handshake or kiss?

 

[tswyk]

Big, slow hug. Look right into her eyes and say: You are more beautiful than ever! (and mean it!)

 

[Gilly Bean]

No kissy kissy


NO NO NO


She is MARRIED, correct?

 

[Chantal Marchon]

I wish my first real love would contact me again. We parted under weird circumstances and I would love to clear up some issues and see if we could be friends. But I doubt it will ever happen.

 

[Rubyfruit]

I've been in contact with my first two loves and both experiences have been extremely worthwhile.

With one of them, we did let our feelings get the best of us and almost met behind my husband's back. Thank god, that didn't happen and we eventually got ahold of our feelings and have become friends. (I'd still like to fuck him though.)

 

[Guest]

 

[princess4u]

each meeting is bittersweet ~

when i was 17 and just out of high school and working at my first "real" job i met someone's whose memory woul never leave me - he was a few years older than i, and was married - but from the moment our eyes met neither of us would rest - the longing was always there but neither of us persued it - in addition to his being married - he was black and "back then" things like that just weren't accepted - and i was engaged to a man serving with the military in viet nam

about 18 months later, i married my fiance and moved away to another state - i would always think of him and wonder how he was doing - we had a mutual friend who sometimes would say something about him to me but other than that there was no contact

about 2 years ago (after about 25 years had passed with no contact between us) i decided to email him - what i got in return was one of the most beautiful messages i have ever received - it began with "i love you....i have always loved you..."

i am married (my second marriage) - he is divorced (his third divorce) - we have seen each other several times during these past two years - we have talked and talked and talked - we have asked each other so many times "why didn't you tell me way back then?" - we have shared, laughed, and cried - we have kissed and embraced - but somehow when we are together there is such a feeling of helplessness - there is definitely a bond between us - at times we have tried during the past two years to sever it, but it just won't work

i don't know if anything other than a special friendship will come of it - but there is such an emptiness and aching within my soul when i think of what might have been - the pain of knowing of such a love lost

do i reget contacting him? not at all - would i do it again? yes in a heartbeat - i have lived long enough without his touch in my life ~

 

[Ladyhawke]

I've been debating get in touch with my first real love after finding his address online. I think I will...see what happens. I ended things badly so if nothing else it will give me a chance to apologize.

 

[freescorfr]

Thanks you for those bits of advice and touching stories. No kiss, "You are more beatuiful than ever....."
Learning my lines like an adolescent and feeling the same. I never learn lines, even when lecturing. But I'll say that one - if it's true.

Yes, Princess4u - I'm very moved . "Shared, laughed and cried......." If it came to that I'd be happy.

I don't think you ever truly let go of those that you love

It feels true, Foxinsox.
But I was unaware of the strength of the passion. I've been peacefully serene for the past couple of years, learning, growing, blossoming enjoyng my maturity, feeling like an adult for the first time in my life.

Thanks again, girls,
Back with news tomorrow.

 

[freescorfr]

Well, we met, we talked - she does look good, very good. I said so, meaning it. We exchanged some very intimate parts of our lives lives apart. I felt terribly emotional. Ocassionally we looked for what seemed ages into each others eyes.

And I have no idea of what goes next. She's just sent this,

"Dear John
It was strange to see you after so long
Can you ring tomorrow evening? I should be home by 6pm.
Regards
Angie"

 

[tswyk]

Man, oh, Man!!!! Now I want details!!!

This could be a killer, guy. Let me tell you. Your whole life could change and your heart could get broken all over again...and it doesn't hurt any less than the first time! Plus...there are other people involved, remember?

But.....I personally wouldn't change anything about the last 10 months for me - as I've said before. Just know what's going on and take it VERY SLOWLY.

And concentrate on slowing your racing heart!!!!

 

[princess4u]

how did you greet each other? with a hug? a touch? a kiss? i'm just curious - i know how exciting it must have been

just be careful - you must be on such an emotional "high" right now - take one step at a time ~

 

[tswyk]

Please give us an update! I'm waiting with bated breath....

t

 

[freescorfr]

I've put a bit on the promiscuity and intimacy thread - which was part of her story.
I think we both found it emotionally draining. I met her again last night and she covered some heartrending moments of her life and I of mine. Princess4u, we cried too. Just as you said. In the end we hugged, for a long time. It's the strangest closeness I've ever felt. I did want to kiss her, I didn't try, but at the end she said "That's just fine for now!" which about summed it up for me too except I didn't want to go. I don't know when I'll next see her.
I drove back last night and thought your comments and advice were spot on and marvelled, again, at the shared wisdom on Lit.
Thanks

 

[princess4u]

...I think we both found it emotionally draining. I met her again last night and she covered some heartrending moments of her life and I of mine. Princess4u, we cried too. Just as you said. In the end we hugged, for a long time. It's the strangest closeness I've ever felt. I did want to kiss her, I didn't try, but at the end she said "That's just fine for now!" which about summed it up for me too except I didn't want to go.

after two years, i find the newness still new - the closeness still overwhelming - and the goodbyes still difficult - just go with whatever feels right for both of you - but don't hesitate to say when something doesn't feel right