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Stroking his rod in public
Drunk and disorderly breasts
Leading astray innocent, young women with tales of romance
For river piracy.
For false advertising
For looking so cool in the Ohio winter.
Jaywalking
Corrupting a Sunday School teacher... (I'm sure that's a crime)
For being a stranger
Impersonating a Catholic...
impersonation of a political figure
Stalking and invasion of privacy
fucking inanimate objects in public
fucking inanimate objects in public
Taking photos of Top Secret Alien Spaceships.
Stealing hearts and bases
Stealing hearts and bases