If my husband knows I am cheating, will it turn him into a cuck?

[doctorukwife]

Hi

When I posted in BDSM discussion that how my affair likely have turned me into a sub. Many users suggested I should let my husband know about this.
I am now realizing maybe my worse fear is not he will not accept this. But that 'he will' and he will actively try to either change himself to be dom, a task in which he had tried before and failed. Or he will change himself into a cuck.
I guess that's my worse fear. Because like women in your story, I will not like my husband to know what I am upto. Or what is being done to me. Not only he will feel 'it's not safe' in terms of hardcore, but he will also feel emasculated.
I know he is not alpha man type, but he is still confident at work, still a stable person. Very career oriented. Even though we both earn, he insists on he paying for most of the bills and I save for my parents etc.
Last thing I want that he allocating his mental energy to his wife's exploits.
I think telling my husband would be a lose -lose situation.

I am Indian, married. Living in UK. Doctor by profession.

Related my treads in BDSM discussion

https://forum.literotica.com/thread...en-turned-sub-during-or-after-affair.1613409/

https://forum.literotica.com/thread...-during-or-after-affair.1613409/post-99214538

 

[Justfantasies]

Hi

When I posted in BDSM discussion that how my affair likely have turned me into a sub. Many users suggested I should let my husband know about this.
I am now realizing maybe my worse fear is not he will not accept this. But that 'he will' and he will actively try to either change himself to be dom, a task in which he had tried before and failed. Or he will change himself into a cuck.
I guess that's my worse fear. Because like women in your story, I will not like my husband to know what I am upto. Or what is being done to me. Not only he will feel 'it's not safe' in terms of hardcore, but he will also feel emasculated.
I know he is not alpha man type, but he is still confident at work, still a stable person. Very career oriented. Even though we both earn, he insists on he paying for most of the bills and I save for my parents etc.
Last thing I want that he allocating his mental energy to his wife's exploits.
I think telling my husband would be a lose -lose situation.

I am Indian, married. Living in UK. Doctor by profession.

Related my treads in BDSM discussion

https://forum.literotica.com/thread...en-turned-sub-during-or-after-affair.1613409/

https://forum.literotica.com/thread...-during-or-after-affair.1613409/post-99214538

There is another possibility. He could accept you affair, even enjoy it vicariously. It could progress to a more open relationship for both of you. Not telling him might work, but there are then those little signs -- physical and psychological -- that will betray you in the end

 

[Roughscrewu]

Hi

When I posted in BDSM discussion that how my affair likely have turned me into a sub. Many users suggested I should let my husband know about this.
I am now realizing maybe my worse fear is not he will not accept this. But that 'he will' and he will actively try to either change himself to be dom, a task in which he had tried before and failed. Or he will change himself into a cuck.
I guess that's my worse fear. Because like women in your story, I will not like my husband to know what I am upto. Or what is being done to me. Not only he will feel 'it's not safe' in terms of hardcore, but he will also feel emasculated.
I know he is not alpha man type, but he is still confident at work, still a stable person. Very career oriented. Even though we both earn, he insists on he paying for most of the bills and I save for my parents etc.
Last thing I want that he allocating his mental energy to his wife's exploits.
I think telling my husband would be a lose -lose situation.

I am Indian, married. Living in UK. Doctor by profession.

Related my treads in BDSM discussion

https://forum.literotica.com/thread...en-turned-sub-during-or-after-affair.1613409/

https://forum.literotica.com/thread...-during-or-after-affair.1613409/post-99214538

Keep it Confidential

 

[Islander55]

Hi

When I posted in BDSM discussion that how my affair likely have turned me into a sub. Many users suggested I should let my husband know about this.
I am now realizing maybe my worse fear is not he will not accept this. But that 'he will' and he will actively try to either change himself to be dom, a task in which he had tried before and failed. Or he will change himself into a cuck.
I guess that's my worse fear. Because like women in your story, I will not like my husband to know what I am upto. Or what is being done to me. Not only he will feel 'it's not safe' in terms of hardcore, but he will also feel emasculated.
I know he is not alpha man type, but he is still confident at work, still a stable person. Very career oriented. Even though we both earn, he insists on he paying for most of the bills and I save for my parents etc.
Last thing I want that he allocating his mental energy to his wife's exploits.
I think telling my husband would be a lose -lose situation.

I am Indian, married. Living in UK. Doctor by profession.I

Related my treads in BDSM discussion

https://forum.literotica.com/thread...en-turned-sub-during-or-after-affair.1613409/

https://forum.literotica.com/thread...-during-or-after-affair.1613409/post-99214538

Technically he is already a cuckold and became one the first time you had sex with another man. That does not mean that he will start craving to be humiliated by you and your lover which is the general depictions of cucks in porn. My husband is a cuckold but is also a full partner in my lifestyle choices. Not that he is there and participating every time but we do discuss each lover and each event. He is encouraging and even helps me plan the when and where of many trysts.

 

[One_ping_only]

Technically he is already a cuckold and became one the first time you had sex with another man. That does not mean that he will start craving to be humiliated by you and your lover which is the general depictions of cucks in porn. My husband is a cuckold but is also a full partner in my lifestyle choices. Not that he is there and participating every time but we do discuss each lover and each event. He is encouraging and even helps me plan the when and where of many trysts.

I honestly dislike the cuckhold term but I get it. There are men out there who allows their wives to be with other men sexually and want to be humiliated by this fact ........... but not all husbands enjoy that ....... I for one however I do have at least one of two DMs slide into my inbox weekly asking me if I am and if they can fuck my wife ?? Oh geeezzzz!?!?

To the OP I say keep it to yourself. What he doesn't know won't hurt. You letting him know, may pressure him into trying to be someone he's not. Seems as if he's doing fine as is so why complicate and perhaps rock the half so to speak?

 

[Islander55]

I honestly dislike the cuckhold term but I get it. There are men out there who allows their wives to be with other men sexually and want to be humiliated by this fact ........... but not all husbands enjoy that ....... I for one however I do have at least one of two DMs slide into my inbox weekly asking me if I am and if they can fuck my wife ?? Oh geeezzzz!?!?

To the OP I say keep it to yourself. What he doesn't know won't hurt. You letting him know, may pressure him into trying to be someone he's not. Seems as if he's doing fine as is so why complicate and perhaps rock the half so to speak?

Perhaps we need several different terms for cuckolds. For some men it is just being willing to share or let their wife explore her sexuality. More of an open marriage than a cuckold situation.

 

[Roughscrewu]

Perhaps we need several different terms for cuckolds. For some men it is just being willing to share or let their wife explore her sexuality. More of an open marriage than a cuckold situation.

I do enjoy sending a wife home to a un knowing husband with a Red Ass and my Cum on her breath.
Ass just red enough she has to hide it from him for the day.

 

[Islander55]

I do enjoy sending a wife home to a un knowing husband with a Red Ass and my Cum on her breath.
Ass just red enough she has to hide it from him for the day.

Does it make a difference if the husband knows or not? I would think it would be fun time either way.

 

[Roughscrewu]

Does it make a difference if the husband knows or not? I would think it would be fun time either way.

Probably, but I don't want to really get her outed .

 

[Islander55]

Probably, but I don't want to really get her outed .

So you like the concept of you fucking a woman and her husband is clueless? Not something I have ever contemplated but I can see the appeal from a man's point of view.

 

[4yourpleasureiam]

As a cuckold I think you should bring a load home and invite him to bed and give him a chance to go down on you. You may find he likes it.

 

[Roughscrewu]

So you like the concept of you fucking a woman and her husband is clueless? Not something I have ever contemplated but I can see the appeal from a man's point of view.

Guilty as charged

 

[drobert44]

Guilty as charged

I have a close CD pal, happily married for 30 years; dresses for men, fucks women, and cucks for his wife. NO jealousy.

 

[PapaRomantic]

You will be divorced if you tell him or he finds out otherwise. Good luck with that.

 

[Yarglenurp]

Hi

When I posted in BDSM discussion that how my affair likely have turned me into a sub. Many users suggested I should let my husband know about this.
I am now realizing maybe my worse fear is not he will not accept this. But that 'he will' and he will actively try to either change himself to be dom, a task in which he had tried before and failed. Or he will change himself into a cuck.
I guess that's my worse fear. Because like women in your story, I will not like my husband to know what I am upto. Or what is being done to me. Not only he will feel 'it's not safe' in terms of hardcore, but he will also feel emasculated.
I know he is not alpha man type, but he is still confident at work, still a stable person. Very career oriented. Even though we both earn, he insists on he paying for most of the bills and I save for my parents etc.
Last thing I want that he allocating his mental energy to his wife's exploits.
I think telling my husband would be a lose -lose situation.

I am Indian, married. Living in UK. Doctor by profession.

Related my treads in BDSM discussion

https://forum.literotica.com/thread...en-turned-sub-during-or-after-affair.1613409/

https://forum.literotica.com/thread...-during-or-after-affair.1613409/post-99214538

OK, well, it seems like you switched from asking about a phenomenon to asking about what you should do. To which I say, this is a terrible question to ask in a forum where no one has any real stake in your broader life. It seems like most people here, you included, are envisioning relatively happy scenarios in which he accepts your activities, and your main fear is that he will be too involved for your enjoyment.

OK, maybe. I would definitely forgive my partner for an affair if she really was remorseful and wanted to work through it. But that would still be conditioned on a belief that she loved me and wanted to make me happy. If she told me all this and then said “I’m not stopping and I just want you to stay semi-oblivious to the kinky details of my affair,” I’m pretty sure that’d be an enormous dealbreaker.

And, on a more objective level, are you not afraid that he would divorce you, beat you, beat the other guy, kill himself, kill you, kill the other guy, etc.? What you are doing is one of those traditional “I murdered my wife” type of things that, historically, was considered enough reason to reduce the punishment from murder to manslaughter. I can only assume you believe your husband to be an absolute pacifist who would sooner let a man beat him to death than to raise a finger in self defense. But I really think that this is one of those life-changing traumas that could turn a normal, peaceful guy into a total monster.

Go outside of Literotica and ask, “do you think my husband would respond well if I told him that I had been having a BDSM-flavored affair with another man, that I don’t want to stop, and that I also don’t want him to participate?” Perhaps my understanding of mainstream culture is a bit outdated, but I am fairly certain a sizable number of people would have reactions that would be politely termed as “murderously enraged.” Like, this isn’t even a one-time drunken affair where you felt regret immediately afterwards. This is a first-degree affair with planning and coordination, without any remorse, and with no intention of stopping. It’s the kind of thing that forms the core of a murder-suicide news story.

While this would all be hot as hell in an bdsm cuck story (of which I have read and jerked off to many a times)… this kind of thing is more likely to end up in a True Crimes podcast IRL. If no one ends up in the ER, prison, or cemetery after you tell him, I’d consider it a spectacular win. So, without any moral judgment… JFC do not tell him unless you have grown bored of being alive.

 

[Islander55]

Guilty as charged

I would say how terrible but I was participant in this type of scene a couple of times in my 40's.

 

[SissySalina]

There is one way to look at stuff like this.
What if it was turned around, in this case, what if He was the one cheating. How would you feel?

 

[doctorukwife]

OK, well, it seems like you switched from asking about a phenomenon to asking about what you should do. To which I say, this is a terrible question to ask in a forum where no one has any real stake in your broader life. It seems like most people here, you included, are envisioning relatively happy scenarios in which he accepts your activities, and your main fear is that he will be too involved for your enjoyment.

OK, maybe. I would definitely forgive my partner for an affair if she really was remorseful and wanted to work through it. But that would still be conditioned on a belief that she loved me and wanted to make me happy. If she told me all this and then said “I’m not stopping and I just want you to stay semi-oblivious to the kinky details of my affair,” I’m pretty sure that’d be an enormous dealbreaker.

And, on a more objective level, are you not afraid that he would divorce you, beat you, beat the other guy, kill himself, kill you, kill the other guy, etc.? What you are doing is one of those traditional “I murdered my wife” type of things that, historically, was considered enough reason to reduce the punishment from murder to manslaughter. I can only assume you believe your husband to be an absolute pacifist who would sooner let a man beat him to death than to raise a finger in self defense. But I really think that this is one of those life-changing traumas that could turn a normal, peaceful guy into a total monster.

Go outside of Literotica and ask, “do you think my husband would respond well if I told him that I had been having a BDSM-flavored affair with another man, that I don’t want to stop, and that I also don’t want him to participate?” Perhaps my understanding of mainstream culture is a bit outdated, but I am fairly certain a sizable number of people would have reactions that would be politely termed as “murderously enraged.” Like, this isn’t even a one-time drunken affair where you felt regret immediately afterwards. This is a first-degree affair with planning and coordination, without any remorse, and with no intention of stopping. It’s the kind of thing that forms the core of a murder-suicide news story.

While this would all be hot as hell in an bdsm cuck story (of which I have read and jerked off to many a times)… this kind of thing is more likely to end up in a True Crimes podcast IRL. If no one ends up in the ER, prison, or cemetery after you tell him, I’d consider it a spectacular win. So, without any moral judgment… JFC do not tell him unless you have grown bored of being alive.

Thanks this is helpful.
P.s. I have asked some of my friends and they all thing it's a BAD IDEA to tell him.

 

[doctorukwife]

There is one way to look at stuff like this.
What if it was turned around, in this case, what if He was the one cheating. How would you feel?

Relieved

 

[HumpDayHoratio]

I have posited this idea on this forum a couple of times. I think the textbook definition of “cuckold” will change over the next 50 years. I’ll let others debate the why’s, but as mentioned above, porn and the porn portrayal will be the biggest factor.

Much like the Merriam-Webster definition of “Gay” has changed from 50 years ago, such will be the fate of Cuckold over the next 50, assuming the porn influence remains. It’s a dated literary term almost exclusively used in that manner, for the most part.

 

[Lucy_Lastic]

It might change him into a wife beater. Or you into a divorcee. Not every situation has a fantasy-fulfilling outcome.

 

[drobert44]

It might change him into a wife beater. Or you into a divorcee. Not every situation has a fantasy-fulfilling outcome.

U nailed it, Lucy. Wifey should be very careful, enjoy her sidepiece, and STFU.

 

[Yarglenurp]

U nailed it, Lucy. Wifey should be very careful, enjoy her sidepiece, and STFU.

I’ll just go with wifey should just not tell her husband about past occurrences. My personal sense of ethics and biases prevent me from encouraging her to continue enjoying her side piece.

 

[Yarglenurp]

Thanks this is helpful.
P.s. I have asked some of my friends and they all thing it's a BAD IDEA to tell him.

Yah, good. Listen to your close and trusted friends… they have something to lose if you get beaten to death.

This is a great forum for erotic content. Your own situation is quite hot for me to read about and is probably going to inspire at least a chapter in my series. However, I would sooner trust a raccoon with my credit card than trust the wisdom of the life advice I’d get on here.

 

[Roughscrewu]

Thanks this is helpful.
P.s. I have asked some of my friends and they all thing it's a BAD IDEA to tell him.

Very Bad idea. Seperate the two