If I'm a flirt does that mean I have no brain???

[estevie]

Southern and I talk all the time about my posting style. I tend to stay away from the more serious threads and just trade flirts back and forth. Modest Mouse said that I surprised him on occasion by posting somewhere I would not normally be.

My question is this...do we assume people are only a certain way because of their posting ways? I realize if I posted more serious things people will see that side of me...but because I choose not to, does that make me just a flirt with nothing of importance to say?

I come to the board to laugh and have fun, that is the side of me I portray here. Is there something wrong with that?

 

[christophe]

Estieve I think you are just fine the way you are! This is a BB, we all come here to unwind and have fun!


PS all the snow melt where you are, we are supposed to get more today!?

 

[juicylips]

Don't let people put you in a box, E.

Post what you want, where you want.

No, I don't think you are brainless because you flirt.

But if that was the case, you shouldn't pay any attention to me, cuz I am comatose

Cassidy

 

[lavender]

 

[Ferun]

I'm new to Lit's boards so i can safely say i have an unbiased oppinion... and the way you act directly affects people perception of you... if all you did was flirt. people would just assume thats all you do... if your a raving bitch (just making a exagerated point) and all you posted were negative comments and insults... Then youd be a bitch instead of a flirt...

what you need to do is find some threads you think you can get into ppl wil start seeing you in another light... or just tell them your not a cocktease all the time i just am here because its the whole point of these boards.....


ok so that probably didnt make much sence... i havn't slept in a while

 

[estevie]

Estieve I think you are just fine the way you are! This is a BB, we all come here to unwind and have fun!


PS all the snow melt where you are, we are supposed to get more today!?

I wasn't thinking of changing, chris! It just seems to me that I have surprised several people recently with my...ummm..well, I'll just call it insight for lack of a better world. When they say they are surprised it makes me laugh...I mean do people think that this is all I am? I guess, it can't be helped. If I posted more seriously people would see it. I guess, it just floors me that some people think that the way we are here is exactly the way we are in real life. Yes, I'm a flirt in real life too, but I do have a brain, I can hold an intelligent conversation, i can debate a topic with the rest of them. I choose not to cause this place is fun for me...don't want to ruin it by thinking!

Anyway, yes...all my snow is gone! More is coming you say? damn, need to turn on the weather channel!

 

[MissTaken]

I think a very valid point is being brought by alltherage. It trancends beyond flirting.

"One dimensional posters" seem to become the victims of harsh comments and opinions. When being given on piece of their personality, it is difficult to judge whether or not this is someone I want to get to know ro someone I respect.

I have had the opportunity to engage in private messages and chat with some such "One dimensional posters" and have been pleasantly surprised to find depth to their personality and have made some friends.

Keeping in mind that our reasons for being here vary, we should not judge an person's character based upon their posting technique. As that is what it is, technique. I would hate to be judged as an individual based upon my painting technique!

Estevie: you do demonstrate depth and I would say flirt away! Have a good time and do as you see fit.

hugs

 

[sexy-girl]

i agree with lavender .. i think a lot of the new posters recently have only flirted ... i started that thread about flirters vs non flirters


i dont think there is anything wrong with flirting its just i dont think you can learn very much about someone or get to know someone very much if all they do is flirt


a lot of the newer people though are coming out of there flirting zones and talking more in depth about other issues ... and i think thats good because we will get to know them better ... not saying you should stop flirting though ... like lavender says she flirts and i guess i do a little even as well

 

[bluespoke]

This is very difficult. Some people come to the board to have fun, some to have their minds stimulated and some to do both.

If Estevie chooses not to enter serious debate then that is her right but sadly there are those who will judge.

Similarly if someone only posts seriously then there are those who may think they have no sense of fun.

There are times, when the day has been particularly stressful, that I only want fun. If its not evident then I don't post. Coversely there are days when I want to be more serious and everyone else is having fun.

The board is what we make it, sometimes fun, sometimes not - but always interesting.

Maybe if we were a little less judgemental then......?

Now, where's all the fun!

 

[estevie]

Yes, Lavender, I understand exactly what you are saying. You need to stop apologizing before you make a statement. You are not going to hurt me, Lav. I asked for opinions on this matter, I want to hear what others think.

I am what I am, what I choose to do here is flirt. Thats my choice. I don't draw conclusions to someones chararcter based on what I learn in on the GB. This only what they choose to make public. Not everything about them. How can you make an informed opinion of someone based on what they say on here? Of course, there are people here that I don't want to get to know based on their actions on the board. To me, I don't think of people as exactly what they portray here..I speak with them privately and thru emails and learn about them there, away from the public eye. Perhaps if you and I had more private conversations, we might be friends! Imagine that!

 

[sexy-girl]

i dont judge on here at all until i get to know them


im just saying i dont think i get to know someone when all they do is flirt ... but but but there is nothing wrong if someone just wants to flirt i enjoy posting lots of useless and silly posts and having fun its a nice way to unwind ... i do like to discuss lots of subjects though also and hopefully attempt to use what small brain power that i have

 

[estevie]

sexy-girl, my question is not whether flirting is ok...my question is do you think thats all I am because thats all I do? Now, please, don't get me wrong..I know thats all I do so that is all people see, I just wondered how many people judge posters JUST from what they read on the board?

 

[juicylips]

i dont judge on here at all until i get to know them


im just saying i dont think i get to know someone when all they do is flirt ... but but but there is nothing wrong if someone just wants to flirt i enjoy posting lots of useless and silly posts and having fun its a nice way to unwind ... i do like to discuss lots of subjects though also and hopefully attempt to use what small brain power that i have

I love your posts, SG....

You have more than small brain power.. don't kid yourself.

Kisses,
Cassidy

 

[MissTaken]

sexy-girl, my question is not whether flirting is ok...my question is do you think thats all I am because thats all I do? Now, please, don't get me wrong..I know thats all I do so that is all people see, I just wondered how many people judge posters JUST from what they read on the board?

Unfortunately, too many people do, estevie.

It is in our nature

But no, you obviously have a well worked brain.

 

[sch00lteacher]

Wait a second here...

sexy-girl, my question is not whether flirting is ok...my question is do you think thats all I am because thats all I do? Now, please, don't get me wrong..I know thats all I do so that is all people see, I just wondered how many people judge posters JUST from what they read on the board?

Estevie I see you do more than flirt all the time. You have posted on quite a few of my threads, or in threads I read. You always have well thought out posts to add to the flow of the thread. So how can you say all you do is flirt?

Don't worry about me judging you. I think you a smart young lady. That is how I would judge you.

 

[estevie]

Unfortunately, too many people do, estevie.

It is in our nature

But no, you obviously have a well worked brain.

yes, you are probably right. I'm not really sure why it bothers me thats all people think I am, I mean...thats all I tend to do. It weirds me out when people don't think like I do! LOL To me, I judge no one...I may think you are a bitch or a dickhead, but since I have no idea about anything in their life besides what they CHOOSE to tell us all, I make no judgements as to why they are the way they are. Does that make sense?

And, thank you...my brain is far too overworked...have to get back to the real issue at hand...flirting! LOL...i'm off to capture my next unsuspecting victim!

 

[SilverVeil]

I like your posts.
Don't see why you would need to change how you post just to please someone you are probably never going to meet. Or for that matter, change how you think and feel for anyone else anyway. That is what makes you unique. Hell if we all talked the same, and posted the same, why would we need to post anymore at all ?

 

[estevie]

Re: Wait a second here...

Estevie I see you do more than flirt all the time. You have posted on quite a few of my threads, or in threads I read. You always have well thought out posts to add to the flow of the thread. So how can you say all you do is flirt?

Don't worry about me judging you. I think you a smart young lady. That is how I would judge you.

awwww, thank you, teach!

You are right, I have posted serious...or at least non-flirty comments. I guess what really got me thinking on this was mm...he said I surprised him before with some of my posts...to me that means that he didn't think me capable of making a seroius post. I am not angry that he thought that, it just made me think. If my flirting has made people think thats all there is to me, makes them not want to get to know me cause they think I have nothing of importance to add.

 

[sexy-girl]

sexy-girl, my question is not whether flirting is ok...my question is do you think thats all I am because thats all I do? Now, please, don't get me wrong..I know thats all I do so that is all people see, I just wondered how many people judge posters JUST from what they read on the board?

estevie i will be honest ... i like you i think you seem a very friendly and warm person ... im starting to get to know you a little better recently and starting to see that you have some brains as well (you have it all going for you )

before i didnt know you very well and i didnt know if you were smart or not ... but i didnt assume that you were stupid ... i mearly had no point of reference to make a judgement on it ... but i've never thought about any poster that because they flirt they were dumb


P.S thanks juicylips

 

[StondTmplPilot]

Estevie...

Those of us who have been fortunate enough to get to know you, know that you are more than just a flirt. Were I you, I wouldn't worry about those who don't take the time to get to know you through private interaction. You're smart, sweet, and funny, stay who you are! Have a great day!

 

[estevie]

Thank you, sexy-girl, I understand what you are saying. People can think nothing of me other than what they see. I didn't mean to imply that cause people flirt that they are dumb. My point was just, in a nutshell, people judge without getting all the facts. I am not saying that what mm said to me was a judgement on my character, it wasn't...it was his opinion. The whole thing has just made me think. Do I want to give more of myself to the board? What do I want people to know about me...that I can look pretty sitting on a bench or that I can debate politics. Just made me think is all.

 

[estevie]

Re: Estevie...

Those of us who have been fortunate enough to get to know you, know that you are more than just a flirt. Were I you, I wouldn't worry about those who don't take the time to get to know you through private interaction. You're smart, sweet, and funny, stay who you are! Have a great day!

Ahhhh, sweetie, thats just it...you do know me. That makes all the difference. I've known you close to a year, I would think. I have been on this board since July, I believe. Very few people on this board KNOW me at all, so...does what I project make that all I am to those people who don't me? Am I rambling? LOL I guess, in the end it doesn't really matter. People will think whatever they want to think. Just made me think, thats all.

 

[Wiggles]

I think you're making a very valid point here Estevie. People may not judge you, but what we say influences their perceptions of us.

There has been quite a few threads hinting at the IQ of the flirty people on the board. I don't really agree with this, there is no way to base an opinion of somebody's intelligence from their posts.

Everything I wanted to say has already been said here, so I'll just add that you didn't really come off as a big flirt, to me at least. Just asking this question demonstrates you're not!

I'm wondering if the next big question is, are dumb people unwelcome at Lit.? I'm kind of joking here, but really alot of people might be intimidated by this board. I think there's room for everybody here. From the bitchy, shy, outgoing, outrageous, to the posters with low IQ's.

 

[estevie]

I think you're making a very valid point here Estevie. People may not judge you, but what we say influences their perceptions of us.

There has been quite a few threads hinting at the IQ of the flirty people on the board. I don't really agree with this, there is no way to base an opinion of somebody's intelligence from their posts.

Everything I wanted to say has already been said here, so I'll just add that you didn't really come off as a big flirt, to me at least. Just asking this question demonstrates you're not!

I'm wondering if the next big question is, are dumb people unwelcome at Lit.? I'm kind of joking here, but really alot of people might be intimidated by this board. I think there's room for everybody here. From the bitchy, shy, outgoing, outrageous, to the posters with low IQ's.

You bring up a very valid point, are dumb people unwelcome here? I by no means think that I am dumb, but neither am I the smartest person here. I can see where people of little education would find this board intimidating on occasion. I think some people use their intelligence to feel superior. To intimidate someone into thinking cause they can't say it as eloquently as others that they have no business posting here. I'm with you, everyone has their place here..you just have to find it!

 

[KillerMuffin]

I have no idea how smart you are, what you do, or anything. I don't know you and I highly doubt I ever will or that we'll become friends.

You're one dimensional. That's fine, it's what you enjoy. It's not what I enjoy. I like to be around well-rounded people and you don't do that. You save yourself for off the board things like emails, PMs and IMs. You keep the best parts of yourself locked away from the rest of us.

Contrary to all the well wishers locally, flirting isn't the best part of yourself. When you show us only one part of persona, or limit yourself to tiny segments of your character you deny us out a lot. You willingly and with premeditation cheat the rest of us. To me that's dishonest. You are extremely selfish.

I don't know if you only flirt or not. I don't think I've read more than a handful of your posts. I'm not in your clique. Moreover, your clique wouldn't welcome me. I don't know you at all. You aren't interesting to me because vacuous flirting, and if all you do is flirt it's vacuous, is incredibly dull after a few days. You have no substance. There are no opinions, no discussions, no new things to learn, no variety in outlooks of life, no new cultures to get a taste of, no new experiences in the fullness of humanity.

Flirt all you want and be happy with what you do. I could care less about you like you could care less about me. We don't cross paths often and we probably never will. I don't want to just flirt, I want to experience your humanity. You, however, just want to flirt.

Judgementalism, right wrong or indifferent, is an intrinsic part of human nature. "A good judge of character" is one of the best skills people have, right? Anyway, I'm judgemental and I refuse to whitewash it by claiming otherwise, prevaricating with other phrases, or pretending I haven't done it.

In my opinion people who do nothing but flirt are either completely vacuous or they're extremely selfish. In either case, I don't want to be around them because I prefer whole people to tiny little parts of people.

"I only come here to flirt." Why bother?