Ideas for punishments for my online slavegirl

[mastermartin]

No haters please.

I'm relatively new to practicing D/s and S&M with my online slavegirl. We've done quite a few activities so far, and she really enjoys our sessions. The following are some of the things we've tried. (I hope I'm not violating any rules by posting these examples.)

1) Urine play
2) Pet play
3) Food play
4) Ice play
5) Wax play
6) Alcohol (on pussy)
7) Toothpaste (on pussy)

Yes, I know that some of these are really risky and dangerous, but we've both enjoyed our sessions quite a lot. We both know the risks of what we try out.

Now, does anybody have any suggestions for new activities that my online slave and I could try out? We plan to do figging soon, as long as she has access to ginger.

 

[SweetErika]

No haters please.

I'm relatively new to practicing D/s and S&M with my online slavegirl. We've done quite a few activities so far, and she really enjoys our sessions. The following are some of the things we've tried. (I hope I'm not violating any rules by posting these examples.)

1) Urine play
2) Pet play
3) Food play
4) Ice play
5) Wax play
6) Alcohol (on pussy)
7) Toothpaste (on pussy)

No, posting such examples is not a violation of the rules here. Those rules are pretty simple/common sense-based, but you definitely should know what they are, so I'd suggest refreshing your memory on them by clicking the 'Forum Rules' link at the bottom right of each page. Additionally, our FAQs - Read Before Posting Help Questions sticky thread has a lot of helpful information on forum logistics and experience-enhancing tips, guidelines and unwritten rules, so I'd also advise checking that out.

Anyway, regarding this thread topic and your question, first of all, let me say I am NOT hating. Those of us who practice BDSM and other kinks have all been new and somewhat lost at one point, and it seems like many folks here give advice with that in mind. If you have your "master" hat on, go ahead and replace it with your "humble, eager student" hat right now.

With all due respect, based on what you've posted, I'm not getting the sense that you're knowledgeable or experienced with BDSM at all. Now there's nothing wrong with that--like I said, we've all been there--unless you fail to learn and gain experience that you need to practice safe, sane BDSM. It seems like the next logical step for you would be to head over to the BDSM Talk forum and read, read, read. There's a great BDSM Library sticky that contains threads on just about every subject (including activities for online/long distance D/s), and the folks over there are typically more than happy to answer questions and point people toward additional resources as long as they're polite and willing to learn. Most of the regulars are incredibly knowledgeable and experienced in all sorts of play and relationships, including online and long-distance D/s relationships, so you'd be wise to read, ask questions and learn everything you can from them.

Next to that, see what's available in terms of munches, demos, classes and other activities in your local BDSM community. Yes, I know your relationship is online, but you can learn oh so much from the more knowledgeable and experienced folks in your community. Connecting and knowing how to do things in reality will make you a far better PYL (pick your label, like Dom, Master, Top, etc.) in an online relationship as well, and you'll get a lot of great ideas.

Yes, I know that some of these are really risky and dangerous, but we've both enjoyed our sessions quite a lot. We both know the risks of what we try out.

With the exception of the possibility of burns from wax play and vaginal infections from food play, none of what you listed is risky or dangerous! This is one of the reasons I'm thinking you have a lot to learn, grasshopper. Another major one is it doesn't appear you've done enough reading or considering to differentiate between play (activities that are typically mutually enjoyable) and punishment (activities that are punitive and not enjoyable at all for the receiver).

Now, does anybody have any suggestions for new activities that my online slave and I could try out? We plan to do figging soon, as long as she has access to ginger.

Like I said, go read the threads on online/LD relationships and the BDSM Library sticky in the BDSM Talk forum. The FAQ sticky I linked you to above gives detailed instructions on how to find threads using Google (it's much easier than using the forum search function in most cases). Also think about simple (and safe!) household items that will produce varying sensations and even getting a sex toy or three to incorporate into your play. The kitchen is generally a good place to start, and most people experiment with common items like clothespins at one point or another. And go through a comprehensive BDSM checklist for more ideas. Avoid anything that is beyond your honest knowledge and skill levels, and absolutely have your partner educate herself about anything that carries any risk (I'm guessing she's brand spanking new at this as well).

Why wouldn't your partner have access to ginger?


Hopefully you take this as intended and find my suggestions helpful!

 

[mastermartin]

With all due respect, based on what you've posted, I'm not getting the sense that you're knowledgeable or experienced with BDSM at all. Now there's nothing wrong with that--like I said, we've all been there--unless you fail to learn and gain experience that you need to practice safe, sane BDSM.

Yeah, I am definitely very new to BDSM, and don't have much experience. Whenever my slave and I do something new, I refer to forums and check people who have done such an activity before. I am glad that you posted an honest comment, and I'm thankful that you weren't flaming me. Will take your advice.

 

[EroticApology]

Yikes....urine, pet, wax, alcohol and toothpaste.

 

[Miles Long]

What alcohol did you use?

 

[SweetErika]

Yeah, I am definitely very new to BDSM, and don't have much experience. Whenever my slave and I do something new, I refer to forums and check people who have done such an activity before. I am glad that you posted an honest comment, and I'm thankful that you weren't flaming me. Will take your advice.

Great!

Honestly, I think many--if not most--of us jump into it ass backwards, trying to experience too much before we really have that solid foundation of knowledge and basic experience under our belts. It rarely works out well, and those first relationships are frequently doomed from the start and/or turn out at least somewhat disastrous. And that's precisely why those of us who are more seasoned caution against taking that cart-before-horse path: we've all either been through the turmoil of the failed relationship(s) or seen the results multiple times.

Thus, I'd say take your relationship as slow as possible and put in A LOT of extra effort to educate yourself and gain real-world experience so your online relationship is more likely to be successful. Your pyl should do the same, of course - the more you both know, the better it will be all around.

Yikes....urine, pet, wax, alcohol and toothpaste.

Why? The alcohol isn't the best idea, but the rest of it is really commonplace in the BDSM world, and not so bad for two newbies to do (especially since the OP's partner is doing all of this to herself, which decreases the risk of injury quite a bit in most cases). I mean, at least he's had the common sense to not tell her to wear clamps on her nipples for hours, keep benwa balls in for days, delve into fireplay or autoerotic asphyxiation, etc.

 

[NippleMuncher]

Why? The alcohol isn't the best idea, but the rest of it is really commonplace in the BDSM world, and not so bad for two newbies to do (especially since the OP's partner is doing all of this to herself, which decreases the risk of injury quite a bit in most cases). I mean, at least he's had the common sense to not tell her to wear clamps on her nipples for hours, keep benwa balls in for days, delve into fireplay or autoerotic asphyxiation, etc.

Don't bother SweetE, just a new troll taking up residence in the HT forum.