I'd like to remark upon something I've noticed here at Lit...

[Aphrodisiac]

When I comment on an appearance, I do it because I really am nice.

I agree with you... I do the same thing.

Looks are important to different people in different ways.
It all depends on an individual's taste.

 

[Rubyfruit]

I don't see any contradiction in saying that looks aren't the most important thing to you and complimenting a good-looking person.

Saying that good looks aren't the most important aspect in my attraction to another human being, doesn't mean I don't know what constitutes a good looking person, or that I can't appreciate beauty when I see it.

 

[freakygirl]

Don't complain about people complimenting you on the board, even if you think they are doing it just to be nice.

The alternative, being insulted on the board for your looks, is a lot less fun.

I'm not complaining.. I'd rather be complimented..

But I also like being told the truth.

I've always thought being told the truth is much better than being lied to. I'd rather be hurt by the truth now than hurt by a lie later.

does that make sense?

 

[Laurel]

I don't see any contradiction in saying that looks aren't the most important thing to you and complimenting a good-looking person.

Saying that good looks aren't the most important aspect in my attraction to another human being, doesn't mean I don't know what constitutes a good looking person, or that I can't appreciate beauty when I see it.

Exactly. Also, to say you don't notice looks is as silly as saying you don't notice personality. Looks, attitude, intelligence, style, opinion, character, and the zillion other components are all part of the whole cake. How the ingredients blend will decide whether you or not personally find said cake to be tasty.

 

[talk2024]

I'm sure there are people out there who don't care about looks at all - we've all seen couples out there and we ask ourselves, "What is she/he doing with him/her?"

Do we really believe that a physically attractive person cannot also be a wonderful person inside as well? There isn't necessarily a contradiction, is there?

 

[morninggirl5]

I can honestly say that i haven't seen a picture of a lit member yet that wasn't attractive to me. Of course, i haven't looked at the pictures of most of the people that have posted them.

Someone's physical attractiveness to me is wholly influenced by my perceptions of their personality. If someone is attractive to me, then even imperfections that others would consider a turn-off become very attractive.

I really don't see a contradiction in the behavior of most people here. If someone comes in new and the first thing they do is post pics, obviously people are going to comment. Based on the general tone of the board most days, those comments are going to be positive. If an established member posts pics, the comments are going to be positive because that person is a member of the community and we've grown to know their personality and therefore, they are attractive to us. The timing is different, based probably on the posters own issues, not the board.

 

[riff]

Exactly. Also, to say you don't notice looks is as silly as saying you don't notice personality. Looks, attitude, intelligence, style, opinion, character, and the zillion other components are all part of the whole cake. How the ingredients blend will decide whether you or not personally find said cake to be tasty.

I think u just about hit the nail on the head.

 

[Mensa]

My compliments to the chef

How the ingredients blend will decide whether you or not personally find said cake to be tasty.

Without the proper heat, said cake falls flat despite the ingredients.

 

[Laurel]

Re: My compliments to the chef

Without the proper heat, said cake falls flat despite the ingredients.

Exactly. And every cake should be well-frosted.

 

[Mensa]

Re: Re: My compliments to the chef

Exactly. And every cake should be well-frosted.

Then eaten!

 

[Laurel]

Re: Re: Re: My compliments to the chef

Then eaten!

Touche. (pronounce that Tooshay, Toosh, or Tushy, however you wish)

 

[PainSlut]

looks to a certian extent are important for first impressions... but they aren't everything.. and have very little to do with what we really think about people (or at least they don't for me) but everyone likes to be told they are beautiful.. everyone wants to feel wanted and adored... and sure we ohh and ahh over peoples pictures on here.. why? because the people are beautiful! everyone is.. and they are made even more beautiful by being proud of who they are... by showing off and knowing they are sexy, desireable and wonderful.. thats what makes people sexy.. and thats what makes people fawn over them.

 

[talk2024]

and they are made even more beautiful by being proud of who they are... by showing off and knowing they are sexy, desireable and wonderful.. thats what makes people sexy.. and thats what makes people fawn over them.

Good point

 

[patient1]

Re: Re: Re: Re: My compliments to the chef

Touche. (pronounce that Tooshay, Toosh, or Tushy, however you wish)

Laughing
My
Ass
Off

 

[Willing and Unsure]

i'm not going to lie, cuz i have no reason to. appearance does play a very small factor in how attracted i am to a person, but that doesnt mean that its the only factor. i was once told that i was very trite because i found someone's personality to be extremely sexy and he really turned me on with some of what he had to say, and i hadnt the slightest idea of what he looked like. i find that everyone is beautiful, not just the supermodels or porn stars (or whatever). and because i see that beauty in everyone, i see a need to compliment it when it is put before me despite what anyone else may think. however, i dont see how one person can tell me that i'm wrong to tell someone that they are beautiful just because they dont agree. afterall, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

 

[talk2024]

afterall, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Or the mind of the beholder.

 

[Cheyenne]

I'm not complaining.. I'd rather be complimented..

But I also like being told the truth.

I've always thought being told the truth is much better than being lied to. I'd rather be hurt by the truth now than hurt by a lie later.

does that make sense?

Yes, it does.

But if the insults aren't true, either, which would you rather have on the bb? Untrue compliments or untrue insults?

Of course, it's even worse if the insults are true. Then everyone watching the thread just cringes.

 

[The Dipsomaniac]

...bottom line, for me, good looking<pretty> is a different animal than attractive.

And attractive is in the eye of the beholder.

And another spin on that is "Beauty is in the eye of the BEERholder" LOL

Joking aside though i agree with most of the comments made. I find i have to have an initial attraction (physically), but once you get to know someone, there personality can make them either shine, or there "looks" can be dulled somewhat by a shitty personality...

DM

 

[Jimi]

Everyone IS beautiful

looks to a certian extent are important for first impressions... but they aren't everything.. and have very little to do with what we really think about people (or at least they don't for me) but everyone likes to be told they are beautiful.. everyone wants to feel wanted and adored... and sure we ohh and ahh over peoples pictures on here.. why? because the people are beautiful! everyone is.. and they are made even more beautiful by being proud of who they are... by showing off and knowing they are sexy, desireable and wonderful.. thats what makes people sexy.. and thats what makes people fawn over them.

That is just how I see it, also. I have been told by a couple of female folks here that I am attractive...

It certainly is great for the ego - as I'm even older than 38 - A LOT more

I happen to like women with hips, breasts and beautiful eyes - there are a great many of you on these Boards. What is evn better, to this "dirty old man", is that the qualities of mind and souls are also quite beautiful, in most cases... (sigh)

 

[freakygirl]

Yes, it does.

But if the insults aren't true, either, which would you rather have on the bb? Untrue compliments or untrue insults?

Of course, it's even worse if the insults are true. Then everyone watching the thread just cringes.

Cheyenne.. you are way to deep for this chick

I want the truth about myself.. I am honest with others.. and if I can't be honest in my thinking I choose not to respond.

Anyway.. I think I'm going to get out of this thread..

I'm in a really down mood.. crying actually.. i need a break maybe

 

[The Dipsomaniac]

Exactly. Also, to say you don't notice looks is as silly as saying you don't notice personality. Looks, attitude, intelligence, style, opinion, character, and the zillion other components are all part of the whole cake. How the ingredients blend will decide whether you or not personally find said cake to be tasty.

Well said Laurel. I agree with you wholeheartedly.