I would like to talk to married men about something really naughty.

[Kitty_so_frisky]

Me and fwb not doing gifts. Buying lingerie and sex toys

@KatieDoes , we might need a section on how lingerie for her to wear that he picks out is really more of a gift for himself, and almost never fits well enough to make her feel confident and sexy

 

[KatieDoes]

My wife likes filling all the stockings, including her own. Kind of her deal. Not that I don’t add her gift sometimes to her stocking, sometimes in the tree, sometimes wrapped under the tree.

Works for us and her. No one size fits all.

Hey, so…. I’m sure that she might prefer filling her own stocking to sitting there with an empty stocking while everyone else is opening gifts. However, I can assure you that she would like if someone were thoughtful enough to pay attention to what she likes and show similar effort to what she puts into everyone else’s gifts.

 

[KatieDoes]

@KatieDoes , we might need a section on how lingerie for her to wear that he picks out is really more of a gift for himself, and almost never fits well enough to make her feel confident and sexy

I don’t know if they’re ready for that

But yes. Dressing your wife as an object isn’t a gift for your wife. It’s a gift for you. Do better.

 

[J_Bone]

Hey, so…. I’m sure that she might prefer filling her own stocking to sitting there with an empty stocking while everyone else is opening gifts. However, I can assure you that she would like if someone were thoughtful enough to pay attention to what she likes and show similar effort to what she puts into everyone else’s gifts.

Why do you automatically assume no one, I guess including me, pays attention to what she likes and/or puts any effort into her gifts? Because that's categorically wrong.

 

[KatieDoes]

It’s just about time to bumpety bump this into the 2024 Christmas Season.

Advice still stands. Don’t wait until Christmas Eve and hit 7-11 for gifts. You’ve met her, now act like it.

 

[Kitty_so_frisky]

To add a few things to the suggestions:

• Checking her Amazon cart or wish list is a great idea. Would also suggest checking her Temu, Shien, AliExpress etc apps, if she uses those. They will likely have a ton of little items that are just a few bucks each.
• To add to the suggestion of makeup, there’s also perfume (or body splash if she prefers lighter fragrance), a nice rechargeable lighted magnifying compact, makeup brushes and/or sponges, cute makeup bag, purse organizer, a pack of hair ties (I go through so damn many of those!), a quality set of tweezers / nail clippers / file / trimming scissors, etc.
• Bath bombs, small decorative candles in scents she’d love, facial mask treatments, massage oil (that you can use on her) and other things to make her FEEL good, not just look good.
• Does anyone ever really have too many phone charge cables? I need them everywhere and they never seem to last long enough!
• I don’t use earbuds personally, but some people are constantly losing theirs. If she does, get her the cheap kind, not the newest gen Air Pods for her to lose.
• If she travels frequently, Air Tags! They can be placed in luggage and used to track them if the airline loses your luggage, and can be used to keep track of all kinds of other things like her purse, keys, bicycle, laptop case.
• Is she the kind of woman who has a multicolored pen obsession? Does she do any kind of art that requires paint brushes, jewelry making supplies, photo film, SD cards, stationary, stamps, etc?
• Is she a writer who is constantly filling up notebooks and journals? Find some with bindings that are nicer than what she usually uses to show that her thoughts have value.
• Tickets to something she’d enjoy, like a concert, play, festival, even a movie. Let her know she can take anyone she wants, whether it’s you, her best friend, her sister, mom, kid, or anyone else.
• Is she an avid reader? Is there a small-ish paperback by one of her favorite authors that she doesn’t have yet? Add in some cool bookmarks too!
• Small games if she likes to play games with friends/family. Decks of cards (Uno, Exploding Kittens, Pokémon or even Magic depending on her nerd cred), colorful polyhedral dice sets and a dice bag or rolling mat if she’s into TTRPGs, travel-sized games, or even simple classic games made out of non-plastic materials (carved wood, marble, glass).
• A digital picture frame loaded with pics of you and her, friends, family, trips you’ve taken.
• Silk pillowcases, if her hair tends to frizz overnight, a silk eye mask if she sleeps late or travels.
• Yes, you can put sex toys in there if she opens her stocking privately. Don’t embarrass her in front of the whole family or traumatize your children though. And see the above post about how lingerie for her is really a gift for you and probably won’t fit her properly anyway.
• A nice reusable water bottle, tumbler or travel coffee mug. Use the space inside these vessels for fancy coffee, tea, hot chocolate, candy, etc. If she takes her lunch to work, maybe a case with real reusable utensils and chopsticks? Could even roll up an insulated lunch bag or small soft-sided cooler in there if she doesn’t have one already or hers has seen better days.
• Reiterating the fancy candy, coffee, tea, hot chocolate and other gourmet treats that have already been mentioned. Even a nice bottle of wine (or a split [half bottle] of champagne) if you know that’s something she loves enough to take up that much space. Can’t go wrong with stuff you know she likes to eat or drink. Put the big things in first and fill ALL remaining space to the brim with noms!

 

[StillRain]

My wife likes filling all the stockings, including her own. Kind of her deal. Not that I don’t add her gift sometimes to her stocking, sometimes in the tree, sometimes wrapped under the tree.

Works for us and her. No one size fits all.

Trust me. Your wife thinks you’re a dick if you don’t bother to get her anything. That is the one size that does fit all.

 

[KatieDoes]

Trust me. Your wife thinks you’re a dick if you don’t bother to get her anything. That is the one size that does fit all.

He self describes as an ‘Alpha Male’…… his wife *knows* he’s a dick

 

[J_Bone]

Trust me. Your wife thinks you’re a dick if you don’t bother to get her anything. That is the one size that does fit all.

If you're going to quote me, then please quote me where I ever said I don't get her anything. In fact, I said the opposite if you even bothered to fucking read.

You'd both be surprised to know the real truth if you really cared to ask. But assumptions, projection, and name-calling are the norm. I expect nothing less.

 

[KatieDoes]

If you're going to quote me, then please quote me where I ever said I don't get her anything. In fact, I said the opposite if you even bothered to fucking read.

You'd both be surprised to know the real truth if you really cared to ask. But assumptions, projection, and name-calling are the norm. I expect nothing less.

You chose a thread about stocking stuffer ideas to announce that you don’t buy them. That was a decision that you made. No one owes you an interview to expound on the wonderful things you do. You’d think an Alpha Male would know that, but here we are.

 

[J_Bone]

You chose a thread about stocking stuffer ideas to announce that you don’t buy them. That was a decision that you made. No one owes you an interview to expound on the wonderful things you do. You’d think an Alpha Male would know that, but here we are.

Again, wrong. I chose a thread on a topic I had familiarity with since this is a common situation in our home. It just wasn't the high-five, pat-on-the-back response you wanted based on your own projectionism. And yet again, I never said I don't buy them. I said the stocking thing is her deal in our home. She insists on it. Not everyone is exactly like you. Get over it.

Then I was accused of not putting any thought into any gifts she gets. Like you would fucking know. Again, completely false. Given your skepticism, you'd be floored at what thought I put into her gifts and have for many, many years, and yep....probably a little jealous. When I corrected you, I was accused of not getting her any gifts at all....again, false and the opposite of what I said....and then called a dick twice. Nice manners.

So....had you chosen to ask me the answers to these questions instead of assuming the answers based on your own obvious projections and then casting your insults, then you would know.

But you chose to be a condescending assumptive name-calling projectionist and here we are.....

 

[KatieDoes]

Again, wrong. I chose a thread on a topic I had familiarity with since this is a common situation in our home. It just wasn't the high-five, pat-on-the-back response you wanted based on your own projectionism. And yet again, I never said I don't buy them. I said the stocking thing is her deal in our home. She insists on it. Not everyone is exactly like you. Get over it.

Then I was accused of not putting any thought into any gifts she gets. Like you would fucking know. Again, completely false. Given your skepticism, you'd be floored at what thought I put into her gifts and have for many, many years, and yep....probably a little jealous. When I corrected you, I was accused of not getting her any gifts at all....again, false and the opposite of what I said....and then called a dick twice. Nice manners.

So....had you chosen to ask me the answers to these questions instead of assuming the answers based on your own obvious projections and then casting your insults, then you would know.

But you chose to be a condescending assumptive name-calling projectionist and here we are.....

We are going to talk about getting you on the Nice list, but I knew that Naughty would get your attention. It worked.

Is there any sort of Christmas tradition in your home that involves stockings filled with gifts?
Does your wife fill stockings for everyone in the family?
Does she have to fill her own? Or is hers empty? Or does her daughter fill it?


Thats a thing that you should be doing. If she laughs off her empty stocking or the fact that she has to fill it herself, she doesn’t really think it’s funny.

** If you are the worlds best husband and annually fill your wife’s Christmas stocking with gifts, real estate deeds, and overflowing with diamonds, then this thread is not about you and it’s perfectly ok to not post and make it about you **

To the rest of you, some tips. If you havent been doing it because you don’t know what to get, I’m here to help. (Perhaps other lit ladies will also chime in with ideas)

1. go look at where she gets ready for the day. Does she wear makeup/nail polish, etc? Look for the items that are less than half full to nearly empty. Take a picture of the item, and a pic of the label that shows the color name and number. Show the pics to someone working at Ulta or Sephora, and ask them to help you find it.

2. when she runs errands all day alone, where does she stop for lunch/coffee? When she doesn’t have to consider anyone’s else’s wants. Get her a gift card for that place.

3. if you have access to her Amazon account, go look at her cart, then scroll down to ‘saved for later’. She wants all of that stuff, she’s just waiting till she has some extra money for it. Get all the stuff that’s small enough to fit in a stocking

4 jewelry? maybe. the stocking doesn’t have to be super expensive to fill, but if you have the means, put the jewelry in the very bottom. You know those commercials from the big chain jewelers with the heart shaped necklace that the woman in the commercial swoons over? Unless your wife has pointed unprompted directly at the tv during that commercial and said that she would specifically love that…. She doesn’t want that. Look at the jewelry that she has chosen for herself and get something similar in style. Does she like delicate neutrals? Bold chunky colors? Get her something to her taste, not from a commercial.

5. go to Bath and Body Works (not Walmart or Walgreens or 7-11) and get 2-3 mini hand creams and mini hand sanitizer in matching scents.

6. this time you can go to Walgreens or Walmart or 7-11… get a couple tubes of Burt’s Bees lip balm

7. her favorite candy or snack

Wrap stuff if stocking gifts are typically wrapped. It doesn’t have to be perfect or pretty.


There ya go. Don’t drop the ball. If youve never filled her stocking before and she asks why you decided to this time, don’t tell her that you got the idea from a woman on a porn site.

You’ve got 3 weeks. You can do this.

You seem to remain convinced that you are owed an interview and the opportunity to shift the focus of the thread to you and your glorious gift giving (which somehow requires your wife fill her own stocking).

It’s ’her thing’ because you don’t do it. No one is jealous of that. No one.

To paraphrase Mama Gump, dick is as dick does.

As far as assumptive, in the (fake) history of alpha men, never has someone proclaimed themselves an alpha man who wasn’t an absolute douchebag. So there’s no assumptions required.

 

[J_Bone]

You seem to remain convinced that you are owed an interview and the opportunity to shift the focus of the thread to you and your glorious gift giving (which somehow requires your wife fill her own stocking).

It’s ’her thing’ because you don’t do it. No one is jealous of that. No one.

To paraphrase Mama Gump, dick is as dick does.

As far as assumptive, in the (fake) history of alpha men, never has someone proclaimed themselves an alpha man who wasn’t an absolute douchebag. So there’s no assumptions required.

Made my point precisely......nothing but bitterness, assumptions, false/completely made-up accusations, and junior high insults toward a complete stranger whom you know precisely jack about or his marriage, exactly zero. All because you didn't get a gushing endorsement regarding your projectionist post, but instead a different perspective.....and NOT even a critical one at that. How dare anyone who doesn't get in line to tell you how smart and wonderful you are.

Either intense unhappiness, fanatical narcissism, or incredibly thin skin, but it's apparent this is who you are and you just can't help yourself.

Ignore

 

[KatieDoes]

Hoooboy, ‘Alpha’ men certainly are delicate.


Moving on:

It might be too late for Etsy stuff, but there are billions of great ideas there. Personalized things that you can’t find anywhere else. Anything from a stamp to mark her books with her name, to socks with her cats face on them.

Tickets to something she’d enjoy.

Paperback books, blank journals.

Craft kits and supplies, if she’s into that.

Long haired people never have too many hair ties.

 

[deft]

As far as assumptive, in the (fake) history of alpha men, never has someone proclaimed themselves an alpha man who wasn’t an absolute douchebag. So there’s no assumptions required.

This is poetry... qv, the Tate Brothers.

 

[KatieDoes]

This is poetry... qv, the Tate Brothers.

Even the wolves cringe when they hear it

 

[TunnelKing089]

Made my point precisely......nothing but bitterness, assumptions, false/completely made-up accusations, and junior high insults toward a complete stranger whom you know precisely jack about or his marriage, exactly zero. All because you didn't get a gushing endorsement regarding your projectionist post, but instead a different perspective.....and NOT even a critical one at that. How dare anyone who doesn't get in line to tell you how smart and wonderful you are.

Either intense unhappiness, fanatical narcissism, or incredibly thin skin, but it's apparent this is who you are and you just can't help yourself.

Ignore

Damn........

https://media2.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExMGplbnB4YmFtMm5mdW9td3ZjNmV4dGs3Y2pueGM0dW8yaXgyYzdncCZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/V6GWsIj9WkOzu/giphy.webp

 

[KatieDoes]

Damn........

https://media2.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExMGplbnB4YmFtMm5mdW9td3ZjNmV4dGs3Y2pueGM0dW8yaXgyYzdncCZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/V6GWsIj9WkOzu/giphy.webp

No whammies! No whammies! No whammies!

(I think I just time stamped myself )

 

[Mo_Bandy]

Big fan of buying loved ones gifts that I would personally enjoy so it’s a bottle of Wild Turkey and KFC gift card.

 

[Azuldrgon]

We are going to talk about getting you on the Nice list, but I knew that Naughty would get your attention. It worked.

Is there any sort of Christmas tradition in your home that involves stockings filled with gifts?
Does your wife fill stockings for everyone in the family?
Does she have to fill her own? Or is hers empty? Or does her daughter fill it?


Thats a thing that you should be doing. If she laughs off her empty stocking or the fact that she has to fill it herself, she doesn’t really think it’s funny.

** If you are the worlds best husband and annually fill your wife’s Christmas stocking with gifts, real estate deeds, and overflowing with diamonds, then this thread is not about you and it’s perfectly ok to not post and make it about you **

To the rest of you, some tips. If you havent been doing it because you don’t know what to get, I’m here to help. (Perhaps other lit ladies will also chime in with ideas)

1. go look at where she gets ready for the day. Does she wear makeup/nail polish, etc? Look for the items that are less than half full to nearly empty. Take a picture of the item, and a pic of the label that shows the color name and number. Show the pics to someone working at Ulta or Sephora, and ask them to help you find it.

2. when she runs errands all day alone, where does she stop for lunch/coffee? When she doesn’t have to consider anyone’s else’s wants. Get her a gift card for that place.

3. if you have access to her Amazon account, go look at her cart, then scroll down to ‘saved for later’. She wants all of that stuff, she’s just waiting till she has some extra money for it. Get all the stuff that’s small enough to fit in a stocking

4 jewelry? maybe. the stocking doesn’t have to be super expensive to fill, but if you have the means, put the jewelry in the very bottom. You know those commercials from the big chain jewelers with the heart shaped necklace that the woman in the commercial swoons over? Unless your wife has pointed unprompted directly at the tv during that commercial and said that she would specifically love that…. She doesn’t want that. Look at the jewelry that she has chosen for herself and get something similar in style. Does she like delicate neutrals? Bold chunky colors? Get her something to her taste, not from a commercial.

5. go to Bath and Body Works (not Walmart or Walgreens or 7-11) and get 2-3 mini hand creams and mini hand sanitizer in matching scents.

6. this time you can go to Walgreens or Walmart or 7-11… get a couple tubes of Burt’s Bees lip balm

7. her favorite candy or snack

Wrap stuff if stocking gifts are typically wrapped. It doesn’t have to be perfect or pretty.


There ya go. Don’t drop the ball. If youve never filled her stocking before and she asks why you decided to this time, don’t tell her that you got the idea from a woman on a porn site.

You’ve got 3 weeks. You can do this.

My complements to @Kitty_so_frisky for the bait and switch.
I am unsure if I have shared this story.
Many years ago, my wife received a trust fund check for the passing of her mother.
She gave me an amount and told me to buy her gifts because before then she never let me do it.
Long story short, since it was before Amazon and stuff, I failed miserably.
Since then, I was able to surprise her a few times, but never in that fashion.

 

[Apisto42]

** If you are the worlds best husband and annually fill your wife’s Christmas stocking with gifts, real estate deeds, and overflowing with diamonds, then this thread is not about you and it’s perfectly ok to not post and make it about you **

I came because Kitty told me too (which is a surprise since I’m normally not submissive…), but after 20+ years with the same woman, I’ve got the gift thing covered.

New vacuum arrives Monday.

 

[Kitty_so_frisky]

My complements to @Kitty_so_frisky for the bait and switch.
I am unsure if I have shared this story.
Many years ago, my wife received a trust fund check for the passing of her mother.
She gave me an amount and told me to buy her gifts because before then she never let me do it.
Long story short, since it was before Amazon and stuff, I failed miserably.
Since then, I was able to surprise her a few times, but never in that fashion.

It was more of a recommendation than a bait and switch. But if you failed miserably before, it only leaves room for improvement now!

 

[Azuldrgon]

It was more of a recommendation than a bait and switch. But if you failed miserably before, it only leaves room for improvement now!

Let's see.
This was in 2001
My gifts that year included:
a Tai Bo video
an exercise set including a ball to bounce on.
a sapphire ring that was lost within three months.

Since then, I have took opportunities to go onto her Amazon list and surprise her at times.
So I'm not totally in the doghouse.
Thank you for the encouragement, @Kitty_so_frisky .

 

[KatieDoes]

My complements to @Kitty_so_frisky for the bait and switch.
I am unsure if I have shared this story.
Many years ago, my wife received a trust fund check for the passing of her mother.
She gave me an amount and told me to buy her gifts because before then she never let me do it.
Long story short, since it was before Amazon and stuff, I failed miserably.
Since then, I was able to surprise her a few times, but never in that fashion.

What was the bait and what was the switch?

 

[KatieDoes]

I came because Kitty told me too (which is a surprise since I’m normally not submissive…), but after 20+ years with the same woman, I’ve got the gift thing covered.

New vacuum arrives Monday.

May the new vacuum be the only thing in your home to ever suck anything ever again.