I would appreciate some editing assistance

[BitterIchor]

Hi.

The genre of the story in question is lesbian sex (with non-consent/reluctance overtones) and it's not particulary long.

I've tried to submit a couple of stories for a while now, but they always get rejected. Not always for the same reasons. Anyway, I might have misunderstood or just fucked up (I'm good at that). But I've stared myself blind at it and could use a fresh pair of eyes.

The rejection message I'm getting is:

"Please fix the punctuation of your dialogue. The convention is that you include periods, commas, exclamation points, or question marks inside the quotes. The essay "How to Make Characters Talk" in our Writer's Resources section has more information on the formatting of dialogue if you have further questions."

I've read the how to make characters talk page and looked over my story for the things the message mentions but I can't see what I've done wrong. So if anyone would be willing to look at my story and specifically point out my errors so I can fix them, I'd be very grateful.

Throw me a PM if you're willing to help out!

 

[sr71plt]

Check your story. Are you using periods instead of commas to separate off dialogue slugs?

Thus, are you rendering it "Say one more word and I'll slug you." Marsha screamed. (which is wrong)

or "Say one more word and I'll slug you," Marsha screamed. (which is right)

This appears to to be the most common dialogue rendering mistake being made here of late.

Also, the rejection notice is telling you to use the American system for dialgue punctuation (the comma/period inside the quotation marks) not the British system (the comma outside the quotation marks)

If either/both of these are your problem, just changing them should overcome the Web site editor's rejection.

I'd volunteer to check over your copy but I'm on the move for the next two weeks.

 

[Ashleigh_XOXO]

Check your story. Are you using periods instead of commas to separate off dialogue slugs?

Thus, are you rendering it "Say one more word and I'll slug you." Marsha screamed. (which is wrong)

or "Say one more word and I'll slug you," Marsha screamed. (which is right)

This appears to to be the most common dialogue rendering mistake being made here of late.

Also, the rejection notice is telling you to use the American system for dialgue punctuation (the comma/period inside the quotation marks) not the British system (the comma outside the quotation marks)

If either/both of these are your problem, just changing them should overcome the Web site editor's rejection.

I'd volunteer to check over your copy but I'm on the move for the next two weeks.

This is sound advice. I have time this weekend if you can't find anyone sooner.

 

[elfin_odalisque]

Check your story. Are you using periods instead of commas to separate off dialogue slugs?

Thus, are you rendering it "Say one more word and I'll slug you." Marsha screamed. (which is wrong)

or "Say one more word and I'll slug you," Marsha screamed. (which is right)

This appears to to be the most common dialogue rendering mistake being made here of late.

Also, the rejection notice is telling you to use the American system for dialgue punctuation (the comma/period inside the quotation marks) not the British system (the comma outside the quotation marks)

If either/both of these are your problem, just changing them should overcome the Web site editor's rejection.

I'd volunteer to check over your copy but I'm on the move for the next two weeks.

The site has often said that they accept all regional punctuation differences, so the comma inside/outside the quote marks shouldn't be an issue.

On the other hand, use of periods to end dialogue slugs can be a problem.

 

[sr71plt]

Elfin, Elfin, Elfin. Did you bother to read the OP? She quoted the rejection notice. Read it.

I'm not making up the Web site guidance. I read the rejection notice reasoning as quoted: "The convention is that you include periods, commas, exclamation points, or question marks inside the quotes."

 

[PennLady]

For the record, I went over this for the OP. There were some issues, but dialogue punctuation was not one of them, at least not in the version of the story I read.