I smell dead things...

[Recidiva]

There is something...awful in my closet (pauses for the choruses of "too easy.")

Not that.

There's something dead in my closet and we can't find it. It's in the walls or the floor. I moved things out, checked all luggage, checked the heating element, checked the air vent...

I am going to smell like decomp for an unspecified amount of time.

It's a little better if I stop my nose, but then I taste dead thing when I breathe.

 

[Ulaven_Demorte]

I'm pretty sure it's the field mouse that our cat was playing with the other day that bolted away when I tried to rescue it.

I should have let the cat finish him. At least he would have died out in the open.

 

[Recidiva]

I'm pretty sure it's the field mouse that our cat was playing with the other day that bolted away when I tried to rescue it.

I should have let the cat finish him. At least he would have died out in the open.

Timing's right. If I leave the door open the whole house smells like decomp and if I burn incense it smells like decomposing sandalwood.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I feature dead rats in my newest trailer trash story. The woman who lived in the trailer tossed her garbage bags into the yard, and rats got in it to eat the baby poop in the Pampers. But they also ate the liner, and the liner swelled and killed the rats. The rats fled to the trailer to die. And the aroma was strong.

In the real event I took a beautiful young PhD with me to the trailer. I had cautioned her to wear jeans but she came in heels, hose, skirt, etc. So I'm discussing the situation with a deputy sheriff, and he says WHAT IN HELL DIED! So I says to my trainee, DOLL, HOWS ABOUT CRAWLING UNDER THE TRAILER AND SEE IF YOU CAN FIND WHAT DIED?

And she says to me, HOWS ABOUT YOU KISSING MY ASS, DOLL!

 

[Recidiva]

I feature dead rats in my newest trailer trash story. The woman who lived in the trailer tossed her garbage bags into the yard, and rats got in it to eat the baby poop in the Pampers. But they also ate the liner, and the liner swelled and killed the rats. The rats fled to the trailer to die. And the aroma was strong.

In the real event I took a beautiful young PhD with me to the trailer. I had cautioned her to wear jeans but she came in heels, hose, skirt, etc. So I'm discussing the situation with a deputy sheriff, and he says WHAT IN HELL DIED! So I says to my trainee, DOLL, HOWS ABOUT CRAWLING UNDER THE TRAILER AND SEE IF YOU CAN FIND WHAT DIED?

And she says to me, HOWS ABOUT YOU KISSING MY ASS, DOLL!

I think you're just being reverse chivalrous in a way of empowering women to insult the everloving hell out of you and possibly hit you.

In this case, the scent is more offensive than you are, but I cannot take it out on the dead thing. If I can't find it and my son can't find it and my husband can't find it and a dog that can't find a raisin under a couch find it...I'm fairly sure I can't do anything about it short of demolishing the house or burning it down.

 

[LiFeNdEaTh]

dead mouse somewhere?

 

[Recidiva]

dead mouse somewhere?

That's what we think. Our cat had been playing with a mouse and when Ulaven caught her she dropped it and it ran away. We couldn't find it. The assumption is that it got into my closet and then down through a hole where the heating pipe goes.

I can only hope some industrious troupe of ants or something does their job and gets it cleaned up. It is foul. With a migraine it's intolerable.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I think you're just being reverse chivalrous in a way of empowering women to insult the everloving hell out of you and possibly hit you.

In this case, the scent is more offensive than you are, but I cannot take it out on the dead thing. If I can't find it and my son can't find it and my husband can't find it and a dog that can't find a raisin under a couch find it...I'm fairly sure I can't do anything about it short of demolishing the house or burning it down.

On another occasion she and I went to a carnival, and the toothless ungroomed carnies were definitely interested in her good time )shes Italian/Swiss and a goddess.

So I says to her, YUH KNOW, I'LL BET I COULD TRADE YOU FOR A LIFE TIME PASS.

 

[LiFeNdEaTh]

That's what we think. Our cat had been playing with a mouse and when Ulaven caught her she dropped it and it ran away. We couldn't find it. The assumption is that it got into my closet and then down through a hole where the heating pipe goes.

I can only hope some industrious troupe of ants or something does their job and gets it cleaned up. It is foul. With a migraine it's intolerable.

try cleaning the closet up, you might find it.

 

[Saint Peter]

I remember your posts in the Foodie Thread.

Check the fridge.

 

[Recidiva]

I remember your posts in the Foodie Thread.

Check the fridge.

You're right! Why did I think that a marinated tri-tip should be stored in my closet?

 

[Recidiva]

try cleaning the closet up, you might find it.

That is the cleanest closet in the world. Everything's been moved out and subjected to sniff tests and moved back in.

 

[subdued_passion]

Foul, mystery smells... could be a poltergeist.

 

[Recidiva]

Foul, mystery smells... could be a poltergeist.

We used to raise chickens here. It'd be just like those little loud bastards to haunt me.

 

[Aphro]

Yeah, I can totally relate to this. Last year, the interior of my car started to smell TERRIBLE. Like rotting cabbage mixed with dead gopher. It got worse, and seemed to be coming through the vents. I popped the hood, but could see nothing. I thought maybe I had hit a bird, and it had gotten sucked into the engine and was rotting there.

My husband claimed he couldn't smell anything, but he only got in the car in the driveway, just sitting there. As men are wont to do, he proclaimed the smell to be "your imagination ".

Until the day he drove my car, and as we hit the highway he puts on the fan and is hit by a hot wall of putrid air. "Jesus Christ! What is that smell?!?!" "See! See! I told you! " I cry. "That is what I have been smelling all summer!"

When we got home, he crawled under the car, and found, at last, that I had a mouse nest in the engine block. Nasty. He got as much of it out as he could, but the car continued to smell like gorgonzola/sweaty feet/decomposition for another nine months or so. My air vents are still full of these little air freshener sticks I got from Yankee candle.

 

[pink]

Pete had his robe open in the Old Folks thread.

 

[Recidiva]

Yeah, I can totally relate to this. Last year, the interior of my car started to smell TERRIBLE. Like rotting cabbage mixed with dead gopher. It got worse, and seemed to be coming through the vents. I popped the hood, but could see nothing. I thought maybe I had hit a bird, and it had gotten sucked into the engine and was rotting there.

My husband claimed he couldn't smell anything, but he only got in the car in the driveway, just sitting there. As men are wont to do, he proclaimed the smell to be "your imagination ".

Until the day he drove my car, and as we hit the highway he puts on the fan and is hit by a hot wall of putrid air. "Jesus Christ! What is that smell?!?!" "See! See! I told you! " I cry. "That is what I have been smelling all summer!"

When we got home, he crawled under the car, and found, at last, that I had a mouse nest in the engine block. Nasty. He got as much of it out as he could, but the car continued to smell like gorgonzola/sweaty feet/decomposition for another nine months or so. My air vents are still full of these little air freshener sticks I got from Yankee candle.

Hah! Yes, I'm coming up with attempts to solve the problem...

I could over-Snuggle my clothes so that my closet now smells like dead teddy bears...

 

[subdued_passion]

We used to raise chickens here. It'd be just like those little loud bastards to haunt me.

So a poultrygeist?




I say check again... probably JBJ lurking in some corner waiting for the right opportunity.

 

[Recidiva]

So a poultrygeist?




I say check again... probably JBJ lurking in some corner waiting for the right opportunity.

Poultrygeist, Phanteggm, Children of the Corn...

 

[pointless]

i once unknowingly squished a mouse moving boxes around in my closet as a kid. i have no idea when, but the smell of death was there for awhile and i fucking hated it. sadly, i didn't find the fucker until we moved, but whatever. mystery solved and what not.

 

[lovetoread]

It's Jersey, could be a body in there.

 

[Recidiva]

i once unknowingly squished a mouse moving boxes around in my closet as a kid. i have no idea when, but the smell of death was there for awhile and i fucking hated it. sadly, i didn't find the fucker until we moved, but whatever. mystery solved and what not.

I know the smell. A few years back we thought a cat of ours had run away. I'd always heard that cats die out in the open and don't hide...

She was behind our bed. Horrible.

 

[subdued_passion]

Poultrygeist, Phanteggm, Children of the Corn...

Children of the corn wasn't as bad... I don't think it ought to be clubbed with the other two.

 

[Recidiva]

It's Jersey, could be a body in there.

The squirrels are moving in and establishing their territory and they had to ice a chipmunk.

 

[Recidiva]

Children of the corn wasn't as bad... I don't think it ought to be clubbed with the other two.

I'm just proud of myself for not trying to find more chicken-themed silliness.