I ripped a $20 bill in half. Am I in trouble?

[Dixon Carter Lee]

I don't know how other countries value their bills and coins, but in the U.S. currency has an almost religious relic aura about it -- you don't rip or melt dollars and nickles. To most Americans it's nearly tantamount to letting the flag touch the ground. Even pennies are respected (note those machines at the zoo that twist pennies into souvenirs and carry a comforting sign explaining why it's not illegal). It's a weird sort of reverence we have for cloth and copper that transcends actual worth.

Well, today I accidentatlly tore a $20 bill clean in half, and I unconsiously turned around, so no one in the store could see me committ this horrible crime. I thought, "How freaking weird am I?"

How about everyone else? Is the Euro as revered as the Almighty Buck? I know a lot of you have colored money and such, so maybe you're too ashamed of your bills to care over-much. Just curious if this is a distinctly American phobia, or if it's a worldwide delusion.

 

[christophe]

hey you just doubled your money

 

[sunstruck]

You're a magician. Put it back together again. Duh.

 

[RawHumor]

You're a magician. Put it back together again. Duh.

LOL

Nice one.

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

When I used to work cruise ships I would be trapped with my audience for a week or more at a time, and I'd have to spend the whole trip listening to people come up to me on the Lido Deck or at the Buffet and say things like "Hey Magician, make my wife disappear!" and "Hey Magician, make the rain stop!" or "Hey Magician, make me win at Blackjack!". Fuckers. But I showed 'em. They thought the boat was unsinkable, and didn't show up for their life-boat drill. Heh-heh. Man were they caught unawares when that explosion...

Uh, never mind.

 

[Temptress_1960]

Yep, you're in big trouble, mister.

You put both halves of that $20 in an envelope, and send to the following addy:


Temptress
<removed>
<removed, removed removed>

 

[fillmup]

I'll give ya $10 for it!

 

[Uber Sparky]

Nah - yer just out $20.

And you might be open for a destruction of Gov't property charge - if'n witnessed and you did it maliciously.

But I would doubt that. Yer so straight.

Just chalk up another twenty - not even a lap-dance.

 

[Neftoon_Zamora]

Re: Re: I ripped a $20 bill in half. Am I in trouble?

Yep, you're in big trouble, mister.

You put both halves of that $20 in an envelope, and send to the following addy:


Temptress
<removed>
<removed, removed removed>

If we can get him to tear another one Tempt, maybe you and I could go out to lunch!

 

[Angel]

Solution 1)
Tape it. Stores have to take it if you tape it.

They get bitchy if you give them the ripped bill and make them tape it though.


Solution 2)
Go to a strip club, fold both halves in half. Insert each half into a different girl's g-string. They get happy, you leave quickly and nobody remembers it was you giving them the shitty cash.

 

[Guest]

 

[Gaucho]

Nah - yer just out $20.

And you might be open for a destruction of Gov't property charge - if'n witnessed and you did it maliciously.

But I would doubt that. Yer so straight.

Just chalk up another twenty - not even a lap-dance.

Wait a minute. How do YOU know Dixon is straight?

 

[Angel]

Angel, can you send me a pic of your body?

I'm on a quest to find a decent looking chick at Lit


Cheers

No.


There is a post somewhere on here of me in a dress, if you can find it, you can look at it.

 

[RawHumor]

There is a post somewhere on here of me in a dress, if you can find it, you can look at it.

Whoah!

That's worth the effort for a search!

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

Solution 2)
Go to a strip club, fold both halves in half. Insert each half into a different girl's g-string. They get happy, you leave quickly and nobody remembers it was you giving them the shitty cash.

Giving money to strippers is the same as ripping it up and throwing it away. For $20 I can see two movies AND get popcorn. Pussy I can see for free.

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

Re: Re: I ripped a $20 bill in half. Am I in trouble?

How do YOU know Dixon is straight?

It's a weird world when you can no longer assume someone is straight.

 

[Guest]

 

[Gaucho]

Re: Re: Re: I ripped a $20 bill in half. Am I in trouble?

It's a weird world when you can no longer assume someone is straight.

Well, you are from Hollyweird, after all.

I don't know, Dix, maybe it's the AV, but I'm thinking a grande triple mocha expresso, with a double latte on the side.

What do you think?

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

Give me a fucking break and link me to it

I'll pay you to just jerk off to my AV. Wait, I've got ten dollars here somewhere...

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

Re: Re: Re: Re: I ripped a $20 bill in half. Am I in trouble?

I'm thinking a grande triple mocha expresso, with a double latte on the side.

What do you think?

Groovy, hep cat.

Except I've never had coffee in my life.

 

[Gaucho]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: I ripped a $20 bill in half. Am I in trouble?

Groovy, hep cat.

Except I've never had coffee in my life.

I knew it! You're a Mormon!

 

[The Heretic]

You in some deep shit now boy; I called the Secret Service and they were very interested! They said they've been looking to get you for some time now.

 

[Angel]

Giving money to strippers is the same as ripping it up and throwing it away. For $20 I can see two movies AND get popcorn. Pussy I can see for free.

Where exactly can you see two movies and get popcorn for 20 bucks?

 

[seXieleXie]

Where exactly can you see two movies and get popcorn for 20 bucks?

nowhere in l.a, that's for sure.


anyway dix, you can take it to the bank and exchange it. if they won't take it you can mail the two halves to the dept. of the treasury and they'll replace it for you.

here's a link:
http://www.ustreas.gov/education/faq/currency/sales.html#q1

 

[Angel]

nowhere in l.a, that's for sure.

If there is, I wanna know about it.


There isn't anywhere in NY either, at least not up in RocCity, not anymore.