I really enjoyed this one.......

[Wizard]

Sex In The Dark


There was this couple that had been married for 20 years.
Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the light.
Well, after 20 years the wife felt it was beyond ridiculous.
She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit.
So one night, right in the middle of a wild, screaming, hotly romantic session, she flipped on the lights..and looked down... and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated pleasure device... a vibrator!
Soft, wonderful --and LOTS larger than the real one.
Ooops. She went completely ballistic.
Why you impotent bastard," she screamed at him "You've
been lying to me all of these years! How could you?!
You better explain yourself..!"
The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly:
"I'll explain the toy . . you explain the kids."








Hey call me childish but I thought it was good........

 

[shy slave]

Just off to bed and now going with a smile on my face ~ thanks to your vibrator wizard lol

 

[Wizard]

Just off to bed and now going with a smile on my face ~ thanks to your vibrator wizard lol

 

[shy slave]

Just don't tell anyone it was YOUR vibrator that made me smile

 

[Wizard]

Just don't tell anyone it was YOUR vibrator that made me smile

We'll keep it Btw. us........lol

 

[rozezwild]

I have had that joke sent to me and i have rolled each and every time that I have received it and reading it here again it brought a smile to my face Thank you Wizard

 

[Wizard]

I have had that joke sent to me and i have rolled each and every time that I have received it and reading it here again it brought a smile to my face Thank you Wizard

It was a e-mail I recived too....hehehehe

 

[MissTaken]

Here is one.

SATAN

The towns-people were sitting in their pews and talking. Suddenly, Satan
appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming
and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from Evil Incarnate.
Soon everyone had exited the church except for one elderly gentleman
who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seeming oblivious to the fact that
God's ultimate enemy was in his presence.
So Satan walked up to the old man and said; "Don't you know who I am?"
The man replied, "Yep, sure do."
"Aren't you afraid of me?" Satan asked.
"Nope, sure ain't." said the man.
"Don't you realize I can kill you with a word?" asked Satan.
"Don't doubt it for a minute," returned the old man, in an even tone.
"Did you know that I could cause you profound, horrifying, AGONY
for all eternity?" persisted Satan.
"Yep," was the calm reply.
"And you're still not afraid?" asked Satan.
"Nope," said the old man.
More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, "Well, why aren't you afraid of me?"
The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for 48 years."

 

[Wizard]

Re: Here is one.

SATAN

The towns-people were sitting in their pews and talking. Suddenly, Satan
appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming
and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from Evil Incarnate.
Soon everyone had exited the church except for one elderly gentleman
who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seeming oblivious to the fact that
God's ultimate enemy was in his presence.
So Satan walked up to the old man and said; "Don't you know who I am?"
The man replied, "Yep, sure do."
"Aren't you afraid of me?" Satan asked.
"Nope, sure ain't." said the man.
"Don't you realize I can kill you with a word?" asked Satan.
"Don't doubt it for a minute," returned the old man, in an even tone.
"Did you know that I could cause you profound, horrifying, AGONY
for all eternity?" persisted Satan.
"Yep," was the calm reply.
"And you're still not afraid?" asked Satan.
"Nope," said the old man.
More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, "Well, why aren't you afraid of me?"
The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for 48 years."

LMAO......... That was good...

 

[rozezwild]

Holy shit that one was toooo god i love it and i will be rollign for hours over it to you for it hunny

 

[Soron]

THIRTY HARSH THINGS TO SAY TO A NAKED MAN

1. I've smoked fatter joints than that.

2. Ahhhh, it's cute.

3. Why don't we just cuddle?

4. You know they have surgery to fix that.

5. Make it dance.

6. Can I paint a smiley face on it?

7. Wow, and your feet are so big.

8. It's OK, we'll work around it.

9. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?

10. Oh no... a flash headache.

11. (giggle and point)

12. Can I be honest with you?

13. How sweet, you brought incense.

14. This explains your car.

15. Maybe if we water it, it'll grow.

16. Why is God punishing me?

17. At least this won't take long.

18. I never saw one like that before.

19. But it still works, right?

20. It looks so unused.

21. Maybe it looks better in natural light.

22. Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?

23. Are you cold?

24. If you get me real drunk first.

25. Is that an optical illusion?

26. What is that?

27. It's a good thing you have so many other talents.

28. Does it come with an air pump?

29. So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality.

30. I guess this makes me the early bird.

 

[rozezwild]

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh that one was good tooo

 

[graceanne]

THIRTY HARSH THINGS TO SAY TO A NAKED MAN

and 31 is: Is it in yet?

 

[rozezwild]

and 31 is: Is it in yet?

NAUGHTY NAUGHTY GIRL BUT THAT WAS GOOD

 

[Soron]

Good one, graceanne

My favorite...

9. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?

 

[rozezwild]

Re: Good one, graceanne

My favorite...

9. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?

Well will it????

 

[Soron]

Re: Re: Good one, graceanne

Well will it????

Not any more. I lost the little whistle thingamajigger.

 

[rozezwild]

Re: Re: Re: Good one, graceanne

Not any more. I lost the little whistle thingamajigger.

well that is not no fun i wanted whistles and bells and all that good stuff

 

[snowy ciara]

Okay, did anyone else just get a toy story flashback where the little penguiney guy was stuck on stop of the shelf cause his whistler was broke.

starts giggling madly at wheezy Dommly Penguiney guys with wheezy whistlers...

I need to get more sleep!

 

[rozezwild]

Okay, did anyone else just get a toy story flashback where the little penguiney guy was stuck on stop of the shelf cause his whistler was broke.

starts giggling madly at wheezy Dommly Penguiney guys with wheezy whistlers...

I need to get more sleep!

giggling maniccly and falling outta her chair that was so not even fair i am so on sleep depravation

 

[graceanne]

NAUGHTY NAUGHTY GIRL BUT THAT WAS GOOD

 

[rozezwild]

kissing you all over

 

[MissTaken]

30. I guess this makes me the early bird


There is my favorite!

 

[Wizard]

30. I guess this makes me the early bird


There is my favorite!

Do I get to give the worm?.....................

 

[daisy-blue]

thanks--I needed to laugh

Cathy