I pissed myself laughing at this joke.

[T.H. Oughts]

A 25 year old male walks up to the supermarket checkout and asks the checkout girl where the condoms are. She tells him they must be out in the warehouse if the shelves are empty. She then asks what size he wants. He answers, I don’t know I’ve never thought about size before. So she leans over and massages his cock. Then over the loud speaker she yells," Extra Large condoms to checkout 6 please."

The 35 year old guy in line behind thinks this massage thing is a bit of all right, so he asks her for condoms but says he does not know what size to buy. So she leans forward and massages his cock and over the loud speaker she yells," Super Plus Large condoms to checkout 6 please."

So the 17 year old guy next in line asks for condoms but because he is a virgin he does not know what size to buy. So she leans forward and massages his cock and over the loud speaker she yells, "Bucket and mop for clean up at checkout 6 please."

 

[gridiron]

That's almost as good as this one..

One rainy day two women are returning to their cars after a bridge club match, and on their way there, one reaches into her purse to retrieve a cigarette. As she pulls it out, her friend looks on with interest as the cigarette appears to be covered with a condom. Astonished, she says, "Why, Phyllis, you have a condom on your cigarette. What on earth for?" Her friend smiles as she lights up after having removed the condom and says, "It's an old trick I learned, Mary. Helps to keep the moisture from getting to the paper." Simply amazed, Mary makes a mental note to pick-up some condoms the next time she's at the grocery market. The next day, she finds herself in the check-out line of her neighborhood store, and at the last minute she remembers about the condoms. Not seeing any in the immediate vicinity, she asks the clerk, a handsome young man, where the condoms are. The young man, doing his best to contain his shock, asks Mary what size and brand she would like. Mary replies, "Oh, the brand or size doesn't matter, hun. As long as it fits a Camel."

 

[T.H. Oughts]

As long as it fits a Camel."

lol

 

[Shaq]

I'd rather hear Chris Rock.