I need some help.....

[roughkitty27]

My husband and I have been eager to try a second gf or playmate or pet w/e you want to call it. However I am so shy with new people and I dont know how to go about it. It doesnt help that Im not particurally attractive. Im just interested in trying it.

I could use some advice.

 

[wehstar]

I'm sure a lot of helpful people will have a lot of advice for you on this one, and I can relate as I'm real shy around new people too (and not particularly attractive either).

The one overriding thing I would say about it all is that you must take everything at your own pace. Don't do anything that you don't feel right with.

Swinging clubs generally aren't as scary as they might sound, and there are a lot of online resources if you have a lot of time. Unfortunately single females willing to play are thin on the ground.

I take it there is an intended BDSM theme with the 'pet' you seek?

 

[roughkitty27]

oh

no, no BDSM

I thought swinging clubs were when married couples switch parners? I wasnt aware there would be single people there.

 

[Lalah]

There are single people sometimes. Usually a couple have to vouch for them to get in.

Just take your time, find a prospective person and invite them for a drink first, maybe get out one of those erotic board game. If you're still a little shy you can have your husband start making out lightly with her, maybe that will turn you on, just don't have them start anything hardcore until you'Re ready to join in.

Or maybe do the opposite, and have your husband and you make out first while the other person watch.

 

[SweetErika]

no, no BDSM

I thought swinging clubs were when married couples switch parners? I wasnt aware there would be single people there.

There are lots of different ways to swing. In its broadest sense, swinging is simply being sexual with people who aren't your partner without romantic/emotional attachments. That could mean having sex in front of or in the same room as other people, the male partners watching the women play, all the way up to swapping partners (aka a full swap). So, be flexible, realistic, and you might try local groups/clubs and sites like SwingLifestyle.

It sounds like your primary issue is a serious lack of confidence, though. What can you do to be more outgoing and feel more attractive? For instance, you could practice smiling and striking up conversations with others in your everyday life, join a social group that forces you to meet new people, etc.

On the attractive front, how about getting a really good hair cut/style, having your makeup done professionally and buying some clothes that look fantastic on you? Heck, even wearing sexy lingerie can give a boost of confidence and sexiness! Just make a point of emphasizing your best features, and it will make you more attractive by changing your attitude.

If you check out swinging or personals, I think you'll find a lot of people who participate don't look like models. I know some really homely women and men who are never wanting for new partners because they exude confidence, are friendly, intelligent and generally have a great attitude. They capitalize on inner beauty and the outer parts they like, plain and simple.

 

[Frankie22]

I'm patiently waiting for my wife and her best friend to give in to what they want.

 

[subwannabe]

Believe it or not, most people having sex are not perfect 10's. The thing that struck me about your post, which no one else really addressed, was that you seem to be carrying this burden all by yourself. Does your husband have any ideas about hooking up with this third person? Maybe he should take the bull by the horns and set this up.

 

[Bandit58]

Believe it or not, most people having sex are not perfect 10's. The thing that struck me about your post, which no one else really addressed, was that you seem to be carrying this burden all by yourself. Does your husband have any ideas about hooking up with this third person? Maybe he should take the bull by the horns and set this up.

I am also very shy when it comes to meeting new people. The easiest way for us to find someone was to let Sir do all the talking first

I don't do chat (IMs) very well - have had some bad experiences with people claiming to be female when they, after an obvious attempt to set up a cyber session, seem to be male ) But I will talk to them on the phone and when we meet in person for coffee etc I am usually ok. Sir handles all the emails and IMs.