Ok...So I have always been fascinated by sex. I have never been in a relationship, and it seems like I will never have one. Its not that I am socially awkward, but I just haven't found a guy. Anyway...This year, I have been partying more than usual (like every Friday and Saturday night) and have had a couple make out sessions. A couple days ago, however, I was drinking, and hanging out with a guy friend who is not exactly a "good friend" but he's fun to be around and we flirt a lot. He turned on this porn movie to see how I'd react and when I didn't really give a crap, I don't know, he thought it was cool. He dragged me down to his room and to show me his extensive collection and when I wasn't exactly into it, he pretended to be put off. We continued to talk and then I don't know how, but we ended up giving each other massages......to make a long story short, we went all the way. PROBLEM IS...this guy is not exactly relationship material (he doesn't always treat girls nicely) and he is friends with a lot of my friends AND I was a virgin. I am just kind of lost as to what to do next. I don't want to date him, really. I want to be friends with him still tho cuz he is really fun to be around. I told him not to make it awkward, and it seemed really ok when he brought me home, but later when I was at his house again at another party he COMPLETELY ignored me and went off to the bar (he's 21, i'm 19). I realize now that I probably shouldn't have slept with him (I was too curious and sick of waiting for a guy to come along) but i am just confused and numb and ahhh...what should I do next??? Should I be more upset? I mean, I had CASUAL sex when I lost my virginity. And it hurt. I am more pissed at him for being an asshole and pissed at myself for doing it with him cuz i knew better. And really upset because the guy i'm actually into (though i don't really know if he is even remotely interested in me) probably knows what happened seeing as he was in the house and saw me leave. I just need to hear thoughts of people who aren't connected to the situation, you know??? Thanks
I Need Some Advice, Comments...anything!!!
- Thread starter diva81286
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Ezzy
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diva81286 said:
Sorry it went the way it did.
At 19 it may appear to be the end of life as you know it but it really isn't.
Take a deep breath and get over him and it.
Life is a series of correct steps, or mistakes, and you can't see which are which till you have taken them either way, the trick is to keep moving forward when the last step you took was a mistake, and not to just stand around when you make a correct step praising your self for that one correct step.
M's girl
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Sorry to hear that your first time was not more romantic and with someone you really wanted to be with.
But, as sad as that is, this happens to a lot of people, men and women. Having (real) sex with someone for the first time that you later regret I mean. You were tempted and gave in. As long as you were safe and were not raped (and you were not) there is nothing to feel bad about. So the other guy knows? You know, these things happen and it's not like you were in a relationship with anyone else, so you were basically free to do what you wanted.
I understand you feel awkward and all, but try not to make a big deal out of it. Just try to be more selective next time, knowing how this made you feel that should not be too hard. You are so young; mister Right will come along someday and he won't mind about this first encounter if, indeed, he is mister Right...
But, as sad as that is, this happens to a lot of people, men and women. Having (real) sex with someone for the first time that you later regret I mean. You were tempted and gave in. As long as you were safe and were not raped (and you were not) there is nothing to feel bad about. So the other guy knows? You know, these things happen and it's not like you were in a relationship with anyone else, so you were basically free to do what you wanted.
I understand you feel awkward and all, but try not to make a big deal out of it. Just try to be more selective next time, knowing how this made you feel that should not be too hard. You are so young; mister Right will come along someday and he won't mind about this first encounter if, indeed, he is mister Right...
So sorry to hear that. It happened to me too. I regretted it so much at that time but now, I don't because it helped me alot. Sad to say, it happens to alot of people.
Be selective, be ready and no rush. I learned alot from my mistakes that it never happen again.
Be selective, be ready and no rush. I learned alot from my mistakes that it never happen again.
sailboatracer
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Remember to be safe first, and you will find nice guys, and maybe not the ones or where you would expect to find them. Look for guys who have something in common with your interests, do that kind of stuff with them, be friends first, then if something develops at least you know them a little.
Azuldrgon
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First of all, congrats on getting it out of the way.diva81286 said:
The next step is to evaluate what you really want. Obviously, he was a shithead and wasn't worth the time, but now you can be more selective on what you want.
I think you have the right to be upset because you lost it in a way you were not expecting. But don;t get too bent out of shape because he set you up as some guys are apt to do. I think you are too mature to dwell on it and you should jst move on.
