I must be into S&M...........

[KatPurrs]

Or I wouldn't be here asking for feedback on my new erotic/romantic poem titled, "36 Little Hours"

Hurt me, please me, and if you're downright mean and I don't like what you say.......bite me!

It's at:
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=22376

Thanks!

Kat~

 

[PAUL C]

Go read

I like it.

It shows the feelings you felt for the meeting very well.

Not sure about glow-on.

 

[PAUL C]

S and M?

Tell me more about this S and M?

 

[Debbie]

I thought it was very good too
pass on the bite, or a nibble!

 

[KatPurrs]

To Paul C

Hi Paul,

Thanks for your feedback! About the S & M thing:
Do you mean you don't know what that means? If not, S = Sadism M = Masochism

So, I was leaving myself wide open (so to speak
even shamelessly begging people to do painful things to me. (God, what we'll do to get people to read and vote on our works! It's pathetic!)

Glow-on = Having a pleasant feeling derived from a particular source, in this case, from the effects of drinking liquor.

Sometimes things are lost in the translation from country to country, yes? Hope this helped.

Kat~

 

[KatPurrs]

Thanks Debbiexxx

Debbie,

Thanks so much for your feedback. It seems I can always count on you and I appreciate it so much!

Where in NZ? My folks used to spend 6 mos. of every year in both Christchurch and Methven. Perpetual golfers....I want to visit your beautiful country some day!

Kat~

 

[Guest]

I'll bite you Katpurrs....

Been wanting to do that anyway............

Loved the poem by the way.... <panting>

To sleep.......perchance to dream - William Shakespear

I am............

 

[KatPurrs]

sandman.....

You know you're addicted when you roll over in bed, look at the clock, it says 2:15 and ya jump up to check your mail! lol And then........I see you posted at exactly 2:15! do do do do....do do do do.........twilight zone going on here!

Mr. Sandman ("Yes?") Bring me a dream.......make him the cutest that I've ever seen. OMG! Showing my age again!! I've got to get back to bed and hide under the covers!!!

Anyway, thanks for letting me know you liked my poem!

And you can bite me any old day of the week! But from behind? And on top of my head????

*MMMRRRAAAAWWWWRRRRR* hehe

 

[KatPurrs]

sleepy head

Sandman......Silly me.....fogot this site is on GMT! I was only 5 hrs. off! *blushing here*
Night nights!

 

[RisiaSkye]

Overall, thumbs up

I like the sentiment, and there are several nice turns of phrase. The stanze breaks keep it more formal, and keep it from dragging.

A couple of quibbles (feel free to disregard if it isn't helpful)...some of the rhyme seems forced, either using a word out of context, or forcing the meter to adjust.
Also, it runs maybe one stanza long...the last three seem to be the crux of the mini-story, slightly diminishing the impact/relevance of the opening lines.

Overall, though, a nice job.

Quid pro quo, kitty...http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=23067
Take a look at "Athletic Discipline" and let me know what you think. It's a real departure from my usual style.

Take care,
Risia

 

[Guest]

Never been there....until now.

Enjoyed your new Poem Risia.........

Have never traveled down that road myself personaly, (until I just read your poem that is). Was very easy to "imagine" myself like that....might have proven interesting too.













I remain...........

 

[Guest]

And for Katpurrs.....

Found myself doing that a time to two as well kiddo.... waking up...following my dick into the bathroom and then downstairs for a quick peek to see what deliciously naughty emails I've gotten,

That can get me up.....anytime.