I might be a Redneck

[Dixon Carter Lee]

I'm typing this from a tiny Southern town in South Carolina. There's one bank, a post office, and a shack with white bread they call a convenience store. Farmers grow soy Beans, corn, and cotton (which is picked, by hand, by black men and women). I went to sleep last night to the sound of a billion crickets, frogs, and a few dozen mooing cows. Up the road a piece you can find good Barbeque and rice, fireworks and propane (in the same store), and you can get cigaretts cheap, even if you're twelve.

And this is where half my family is from. I still have a lot of aunts and uncles down here I never really bothered to get to know. I went by a pond on a piece of family property I haven't seen since I was here last, almost 37 years ago (it's surreal seeing a memory from your very early childhood suddenly come to life again.) It's strange here. People treat their dogs like wild animals, letting them live outside, roaming, picking up ticks, and getting hit by cars. Their sense of humor is completely free of irony and smarm, and they're all Baptists who believe Evolution is evil. So you can just imagine how fucking well I'm getting on.

These are my roots, kids. *sigh*

Still, it's beautiful here. The woods are thick, the fields are lush, the air is sweet, and the river is black and still, and I'll take all that over the sunbaked urban blight of Los Angeles.

 

[HeavyStick]

It's no where near where they made "Deliverance" is it?


*I can relate to a similar setting with my family in upstate NY*

 

[#1tankcomander]

DCL any houses for sale there? Or can I just move in there with you?

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

"Deliverance" was made inside a soundstage at Pinewood Studios in England.


















The moon landing was faked, too.....

 

[RosevilleCAguy]

What is that jurisidiction's penalty for saying the word "cocksucker"?

Just curious.

 

[Nora]

Poor Dixon. I feel your pain. Sorta.

My family's all in NY and LA and treat me as though I MUST be missing a few brain cells since I live in Texas. They think we ride our horses to work and wear big hats.

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

DCL any houses for sale there? Or can I just move in there with you?

I'm flying back to Hollyweird tomorrow.

You can buy a house here, cheap, right off a flatbed truck. They'll set it down on any piece of land you buy. Gotta build your own septic tank though. And forget cable, they're not wired here. Get a dish.

 

[RosevilleCAguy]

Poor Dixon. I feel your pain. Sorta.

My family's all in NY and LA and treat me as though I MUST be missing a few brain cells since I live in Texas. They think we ride our horses to work and wear big hats.

You don't?

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

What is that jurisidiction's penalty for saying the word "cocksucker"?

I think you have to pick cotton -- out of Strom Thurmond's ass.

 

[Nora]

You don't?

Shaddup.

 

[RosevilleCAguy]

Shaddup.

I wouldn't even say anything if my wouth was full of bread and jam.

 

[RosevilleCAguy]

I think you have to pick cotton -- out of Strom Thurmond's ass.

"I wish I was in the land of cotton................."

Brings a whole new meaning to "Dixie" for me.


My advice is to shut the fuck up til you clear enemy airspace.

 

[amelia]

They think we ride our horses to work and wear big hats.

we don't?

 

[Nora]

we don't?

shhhhh! don't tell 'em or they'll all want their own damned pony!

 

[Lost Cause]

You gotta pretty mouth boy...........

My town is so small, they used the business district for a 10 second beer commercial!

Here's a site to let others know where you're from!

http://www.midcoast.com/~tomshell/post/postcard.html

 

[cybergirly]

DCL I can relate. My family is from Kentucky I go through culture shock every time I visit. I always make sure I keep my return ticket close to me at all times, you never know when you're going to experience just to much "redneckedness" and have to leave in a hurry.

All though the idea of some of those relatives visiting me in California is even more frightning.

 

[sch00lteacher]

Sounds like mighty fine roots to me.

 

[freakygirl]

Re: You gotta pretty mouth boy...........

My town is so small, they used the business district for a 10 second beer commercial!

Here's a site to let others know where you're from!

http://www.midcoast.com/~tomshell/post/postcard.html

I didn't know we lived in the same town? Oh wait.. no beer commercials were ever filmed here.

Only some movie.. something about a train bridge.. *shrugs*

 

[fgarvb1]

I rode my horse to school one day when i was in the third grade.

Ginger was a very gentle old horse and i'd been riding since i was four.

 

[lovetoread]

I lived in a tiny SC town my whole life.

Its not that bad.

Which part of the state?

My people are in the upstate.

 

[someplace]

And here I thought we were going to discuss tips on picking up dates at family reunions......


There's hope for you yet DCL!

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

I lived in a tiny SC town my whole life.

Its not that bad.

Which part of the state?

My people are in the upstate.

Let's just say somewhere between Columbia and Charleston.

"Redneck" isn't the right word, I suppose. That implies coal mining, no teeth, honky tonks, and Nashville. "Southern Baptist" is more accurate. They're all about hunting dogs, soy beans, and church. The landscape is gorgeous, and not at all depressing or "hillbilly". I've got family down there with hundreds of acres of farm and woods, and they've been there for God knows how long -- probably 200 years. I'm sure my family fought with Lee in the "War of Northern Agression", had slaves, ate possum, shot carpet-baggers, and believed in God hard.

You don't think it's catching, do you?

 

[lovetoread]

Yes it is.

Be proud to be a redneck.

 

[sunstruck]

Don't feel bad, I have had family in West Virginie for well over 200 years. There is actual inbreeding that is not only not kept secret, but laughed over regularly. It does explain my love of hound dogs though.

Now what the hack is a Revenooer?

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

That's it. Tomorrow I book a flight back to Manhattan. I need me a bagel on 57th, a walk by Belvedere Castle, and a night at the Duplex, and I'll be fine...