I love you???

[Missgeorgi]

ok just tossing this out there and hope I get lots of advice and input.... My flatmate met this guy on valentines day and the very next day was telling him she loved him.... Does anyone believe in love at first site???? Or is it she does not know the difference between love and lust???
Thanks for the input...

 

[kallannair]

Nops not me. Love at first sight happens to people who are desperate and searching and i have seen that it doesnt last long unless there is a very rare chemistry.
Most of the times, love at first sight would just be physical attraction

 

[MisterSir]

I do believe in love at first sight, but also that it's a rare, rare thing, so I'd be very surprised if she weren't just infatuated with the guy. Leave it for a month or two then see how she feels about him.

 

[Missgeorgi]

yeah... I'm hoping it's a passing... He is way too much trouble...

 

[njgirl0863]

No, when you look in to the feelings and emotions connected with love at first site, it is a physical attraction; usually sexual and a deep desire to have or be with the person. Often times the person with whom one has fallen in love with at first site doesn't even know the other person either exists, or if they do know often times they do not know the person as such deep feelings.

 

[Cratchit]

No, i don't believe in love at first sight, because love is such a strong, powerful thing that many seem to not fully understand. I have a hard time believing you can love someone you know nothing about. I do think that there can be immediate attraction and chemistry, but something as sacred as love? sorry, not buying it. Now i am not saying that at the end of the night you cant know that you will have a future with this person or not. I do believe in that, cause i was fortunate to have it happen to me. But not love upon laying your eyes on someone.

Then again, like i said, so many people toss the word love around too much and too easily

 

[Missgeorgi]

No, i don't believe in love at first sight, because love is such a strong, powerful thing that many seem to not fully understand. I have a hard time believing you can love someone you know nothing about. I do think that there can be immediate attraction and chemistry, but something as sacred as love? sorry, not buying it. Now i am not saying that at the end of the night you cant know that you will have a future with this person or not. I do believe in that, cause i was fortunate to have it happen to me. But not love upon laying your eyes on someone.

Then again, like i said, so many people toss the word love around too much and too easily

I agree the word love is tossed around too much...

 

[jeremiah1982]

Its definately a confusion of love and lust, but lets be honest, we've all been there before. Im not sure about the whole love at first sight thing myself, I dont believe in it because I dont believe you can love someone without knowing them, lust for sure, lust is easy doesnt need any connection but love is deeper than just physical attraction.

 

[ResAris]

A direct quote from http://www.mcmanweb.com/love_lust.html sums up this thing called love quite nicely:

Dr Fisher divides love into three categories involving different brain systems: 1) Lust (the craving for sexual gratification), driven by androgens and estrogens; 2) Attraction (or romantic or passionate love, characterized by euphoria when things are going well, terrible mood swings when they’re not, focused attention, obsessive thinking, and intense craving for the individual), driven by high dopamine and norepinephrine levels and low serotonin; and 3) Attachment (the sense of calm, peace, and stability one feels with a long-term partner) driven by the hormones oxytocin and vasopressin.

The world needs more #3.

 

[fiery_tongue]

Just my opinion.

Lust can happen immediately.
Infatuation can too but usually takes a while.
Love can come from infatuation over time but infatuation isn't a prerequisite.

There is no such thing as love at first site; infatuation that may become love, yes... so it's splitting hairs.

If I want the very best for my mate, support here emotionally, mentally, physically, show her my love by doing nice things with no reward in mind, if I act on the tender feelings by reaching out for her touch, if I would sacrifice selfish desires for her good and our common good - then I have loved her and as long as I do these things I still love her.

Showing love/doing love increases her tender feelings and validates mine. In my mind that is love.. it is an action quality not some mythical thing we 'fall into'

 

[Cratchit]

I tend to think that people who think love can happen that quickly might not fully know the deep feelings and emotions associated with it. To some people, its a casual thing, and they don't stop and realize that until you know someone, know who they are inside, their personality, their dark side, how can it be true love?


I don't know, i just think it takes more than at first sight or one night with them

 

[694gurls]

I would agree that it is almost certainly lust not love but hey lust is good providing you dont start making lifetime plans based on it! She might do well to just enjoy the moment, seize the lust and see if love develops as well! Both are good

 

[InertiaCreeps]

I think it would be very rare indeed to truly love someone after the first date/day. Get attached to them that quickly? Sure, especially if sex was already involved, but outright love? I don't think so. I did the same thing about four years ago, a girl I was going out with, on the second day I knew her said "I love you!" after I tried to make her feel better because she was sick that day and we couldn't hang out as a result. I was kind of shocked, not really sure what to do, I feared not saying it back might wreck things, so I said it back, even though I wasn't sure if I meant it. It was just lust more than anything, in hindsight. Three weeks later we broke up.

So I'd say, unfortunately, your roommate is probably headed for a relationship that isn't going to last. Not saying with 100% it won't last, but this kind of situation is never good. I think you just need to kind of stand back and let her make this mistake. If the relationship works out, great, if not, it isn't going to be a catastrophe for her. She'll hopefully learn an important lesson from it. There are far worse situations she could be in that would warrant intervening. This, in my opinion, isn't one.