i love her, she loves me so, what's the problem?

[Domain Master]

well, i'll tell you the problem, we met online and chatted for a while, well some weeks actually and then arranged to meet physically, it was great, we had sex, i thought it was great sex and we met again and then again, she is married though although from what she says it is not an especially good marriage although, since he heard about me, (he doesn't know we have been meeting and definitely NOT that we've been having sex.) he has been behaving better towards her and now, she's decided that we can only be friends, i know she has feelings for me as she has told me so and i also know that i have feelings, strong and deep ones, for her but, although i know it is causing her pain, that it hurts me too hardly needs to be said, she will not consider being with me, leaving him making our lives better. instead, she is trying to get him to behave better and in fairness, he is but still will not do the things for her/with her, that i would happily do. why, can anyone tell me why, she says she doesn't love me and then shows me and others that she does!
what makes a woman act like that and, is there any hope for me?
will shge ever be mine, i am holding back at the moment as it hurts and i don't need any more hurt.

DM.

 

[sarahuk4]

Domain , I am sorry for all the hurt you are going through , but you know the old adage "Better to have loved and lost , than not loved at all " ...perhaps that is the answer ...I really dont know , she odvisly doesnt want to admit to loving you , which in turn is hurting you (and her no doubt ) very badly , but if she admits to loving you , then she will leave all that is in her life , I know you mentioned a hubby , does she have family aswell?

Do you manage to see her at all now whatsover ?

All I can persume is she feels "guilty" for her feelings and feels she "owes" it to her hubby to stay with him ...

Sorry , no miracle cures or remedies ....

 

[lovetoread]

Step back, let make her choice, and then go on.

To do otherwise is just going to make you hurt more.

She has to finish with the first relationship before she can start another.

 

[SexyChele]

Well, you did realize you were in a relationship with a married woman when you started, right? It seems rather obvious to me, but her marriage - for whatever reasons - is important to her.

From what you are saying, she has made her decision. I don't think being "friends" is wise. If she is determined to make her marriage work, then you have no choice but to let her go and wish her well. If you love her, you will want her to be happy, yes? Then give her the opportunity to do so.

And the next relationship you enter into, you might want to check out the lady's marital status. If she is single and available, then start thinking of a future. If she is married, consider it a fling.

 

[Matrixcubed]

If you really like her that much, then let her make her choice. Don't break up her life with your need. If she comes to you then it will be a time of love in your life, if not, only a time of pain.

 

[cherrylips_au]

I have to agree with everyone elses statements.

Lots of married people do things like this for various reasons.

Maybe she was genuine about her marital state being in trouble or maybe she just said it was worse so she felt better about having the fling with you.

Either way it hasn't been fair on you.

Why did her husband find out about you if it wasn't to change something in their relationship?

If your going to be involved with a married person you have to sure of their intentions. Maybe they just want a quick fling to lift a dull spot in their lives or if they are serious about starting a relationship with you then please wait until the first one is finished.

I have seen too many people get trapped in the he/she is going to leave their partners someday. If they were going to do that then they should before starting anything with someone else.

Sorry to hear you have been hurt but it's best to let the relationship/friendship die then you continuely being hurt.

 

[xxsxx]

A lot of people turn to someone else if the relationship isnt working anymore, and then afterwards realise they were wrong and still love the person they are with or feel guilty or in debt to that person or ofcourse afraid of losing people they do love if they let one of them go. And after they realise that they´ll try to make it work again and often it goes better for a while and then falls apart again, with the people I know who did that it´s a vicious circle and it´s no fun being trapped in the middle I´ve seen that happen too because it causes pain and arguements. Ok ofcourse for some it works out and others break up but most of the time it´s the vicious circle and this sounds like one. In which case I think it´s best to just hang back and decide what you really want if you know for a fact that she´s the one and noone else can replace her then I´de say tell her so then leave whilst letting her know that she can only come back to you if she leaves him, and continue with your life maybe you´ll be in luck and she will come to you. And if you decide it´s not worth it and there are plenty more fish in the sea then it shouldnt be too much of a problem just try to stay away from her for a while in order to continue with your life.
Anyway this is just what I think hope it helps.

 

[Domain Master]

Domain , I am sorry for all the hurt you are going through , but you know the old adage "Better to have loved and lost , than not loved at all " ...perhaps that is the answer ...I really dont know , she odvisly doesnt want to admit to loving you , which in turn is hurting you (and her no doubt ) very badly , but if she admits to loving you , then she will leave all that is in her life , I know you mentioned a hubby , does she have family aswell?

Do you manage to see her at all now whatsover ?

All I can persume is she feels "guilty" for her feelings and feels she "owes" it to her hubby to stay with him ...

Sorry , no miracle cures or remedies ....

==============================================
sarah, thank you for your interest, she does admit, indirectly that she loves me and yes, it does hurt me very badly she does have a couple of kids but i have to be careful about what i say on here because i don't want to make it possible for her to be identified as the last thing i want to do is "force" a break up, that would, i feel be counter productive!

i guess it's miracle cures i'm looking for but, i do know how likely it is that i will find one!

DM.

 

[Domain Master]

Step back, let make her choice, and then go on.

To do otherwise is just going to make you hurt more.

She has to finish with the first relationship before she can start another.

==============================================
thanks lovetoread, short and to the point huh?

i have stepped back but, it just makes it hurt even more!

i don't know what is going to happen but she HAS started another before finishing her previous relationship so, what now?

DM

 

[lovetoread]

==============================================
thanks lovetoread, short and to the point huh?

i have stepped back but, it just makes it hurt even more!

i don't know what is going to happen but she HAS started another before finishing her previous relationship so, what now?

DM

I know, thats it in a nutshell. Make her choose.

Thats all you can do. Yes it hurts, hell I was in the same boat last year. I chose to end my marriage.

Its something that is going to be bad no matter what happens and hurt is inevitable.

But sticking around letting her hurt you is not an option. You sound too caring to let that happen to you.

 

[kinkyshell]

Domain - when entering into any relationship we all go in with our eyes open, there are no blinkers. If two people enter into a relationship whatever the type they both know what they are doing.

It needs to be said that from the offset, if a relationship is purely just for sex then that is how it must stay. Yes people fall in and out of love all the time, but from the start if you knew she was not going to commit then you must also know that you should not have fallen.

It is very hard, i have a great extra marrital sexual realtionship with my Master, but from the start we both made it clear that sex was all it was going to be.

I wish you better luck with your next relationship, please be careful not to get hurt again.

Kinky
xx-xx

 

[Domain Master]

Domain - when entering into any relationship we all go in with our eyes open, there are no blinkers. If two people enter into a relationship whatever the type they both know what they are doing.

It needs to be said that from the offset, if a relationship is purely just for sex then that is how it must stay. Yes people fall in and out of love all the time, but from the start if you knew she was not going to commit then you must also know that you should not have fallen.

It is very hard, i have a great extra marrital sexual realtionship with my Master, but from the start we both made it clear that sex was all it was going to be.

I wish you better luck with your next relationship, please be careful not to get hurt again.

Kinky
xx-xx

Yeah, I know you're right Kinky and I also know I should have not gone there but, it just sorta crept up on us both and then, you turn around one day and, WHAM!! you get hit between the eyes.
and there is no way to stop that happening is there??
I certainly didn't WANT it to happen, I would have loved the sort of relationship with her that you say you enjoy, it sounds ideal, I hope it goes on for as long as you both want it to! your Master sounds like a very lucky Man indeed, I wonder if he realises just how lucky he is?? I hope so because if He doesn't, and if He doesn't show the appreciation you seem to so richly deserve, He will be sadly disapppointed when a better man comes along.
I suppose i started this thread just as a vent for my feelings really, knowing that I am unlikely to be able to change anything and will be unable to be with her! The only thing I can say is that,
as that seems to be going to be the case, I can only hope that I will be able to find domebody like yourself who seems to be wise, loyal and very sexy too.
I hope your relationship brings you all that you would like it to.

DM.