I Keep A Troll As A Pet

[EmilyMiller]

Inspired by a true story:


I keep a troll as a pet

He’s really super keen

To try to make young girls upset

He can be rather mean



I keep a troll as a pet

He’a sometimes quite a bore

Even though we’ve never met

He thinks that I’m a whore



I keep a troll as a pet

He really can’t get laid

Sadly there is no girl who will let

Him fuck them, even paid



I keep a troll as a pet

His cock is rather small

In fact I’d happily take a bet

It’s hardly there at all



I keep a troll as a pet

He has such a big belly

He doesn’t get his body wet

So he’s always rather smelly



I keep a troll as a pet

He doesn’t much like women

Except for Charurbate, which gets

Him staining all his linen



I keep a troll as a pet

Though he can be quite a jerk

He gets himself in such a sweat

Down voting all my work



I keep a troll as a pet

Despite the fact he’s dumb

He isn’t really any threat

He still sucks on his thumb



I keep a troll as a pet

I try to treat him kind

I live of course, lest I forget

Rent free in his mind



I keep a troll as a pet

He’s actually kinda sweet

The only thing that I regret

We’ll never get to meet

 

[Andrew1968]

I have a whole team of them following me around. I love them. They're lil whiny bitches. I think my most recent story was hovering between 1 and 2. One troll was continually posting whiny ass comments about how it was sad and funny that I was deleting his useless "feedback." I just got bored. I don't have the time to moderate the story right now, so I locked the story so no one could score or comment on it. I'm actually thinking of refusing to let anyone score or comment on any story I have written/will write. I definitely have some more LW stories to write and publish though. All future LW stories will have wild pushy wives, young male lovers and compliant husbands. There will be more coming soon trolls. I hope, I pray that my example will inspire other writers to publish similar sorts of stories in LW.

 

[Djmac1031]

I thought we agreed we'd keep our relationship status a secret...

 

[SimonDoom]

They're difficult to house train. Mind your carpets.

 

[EmilyMiller]

The trolls are trying to engage me on Harper’s Reckoning. It’s so sweet when they try to talk .

Em

 

[KeithD]

Most. of not all, authors here are having their stories trolled. I don't think it helps to sink into obsession about that.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Most. of not all, authors here are having their stories trolled. I don't think it helps to sink into obsession about that.

I know that I can always rely on your sage advice, hun .

Em

 

[Djmac1031]

The trolls are trying to engage me on Harper’s Reckoning. It’s so sweet when they try to talk .

Em

 

[Duleigh]

I just checked and my "Fan Club" is missing one. You can keep him. It's like the internet is telling you "You have arrived"

 

[SimonDoom]

I know that I can always rely on your sage advice, hun .

Em

Keith can be a bit crusty but he's trying to be helpful in his own way. And he turns to mush when you call him "hun."

 

[EmilyMiller]

Keith can be a bit crusty but he's trying to be helpful in his own way.

I know, he just hides it so well .

And he turns to mush when you call him "hun."

That made me .

Em

 

[KeithD]

I know that I can always rely on your sage advice, hun .

Em

Again, knock it off. I have nothing to do with this. I've given you a wide berth for some time.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Again, knock it off. I have nothing to do with this. I've given you a wide berth for some time.

Not sure how this is giving me a wide berth, TBH.

You comment, I comment. Isn’t that how it goes?

Sorry if I have upset you.

Em

 

[SimonDoom]

Not sure how this is giving me a wide berth, TBH.

You comment, I comment. Isn’t that how it goes?

Sorry if I have upset you.

Em

 

[gunhilltrain]

I have one small correction. I know you needed to get the rhyming right with "even paid." Likely if he is paying, that is sufficient. I think Nora Meara got it right:

"That has to be better than some of the jokers I had to deal with back then. A few of them didn't even bathe often enough. And the nasty things many of them called me..." She left the rest of her thought unsaid.

 

[lc69hunter]

God, that is funny, and this thread going downhill is almost as funny

 

[EmilyMiller]

I have one small correction. I know you needed to get the rhyming right with "even paid." Likely if he is paying, that is sufficient. I think Nora Meara got it right:

"That has to be better than some of the jokers I had to deal with back then. A few of them didn't even bathe often enough. And the nasty things many of them called me..." She left the rest of her thought unsaid.

Call me exaggerative .

Em

 

[Duleigh]

View attachment 2236696

I just had to...

 

[ElectricBlue]

View attachment 2236738
I just had to...

As I would say to Simon, "Good man!"

Keeping it topical, too .

 

[TxRad]

Yeah, A certain female oriental, half anyway, writer left a troll in the basement of my cafe for a while. It took years to get the stink out.

 

[Duleigh]

Half female oriental writer, half female oriental airline pilot?

I'm in one of those moods tonight

 

[Rustyoznail]

Half female oriental writer, half female oriental airline pilot?

I'm in one of those moods tonight

Half female oriental writer, half Hapkido practising nurse.

You do not want to mess with her when she changes your bandages. The poor troll had no hope.

 

[Duleigh]

Half female oriental writer, half Hapkido practising nurse.

You do not want to mess with her when she changes your bandages. The poor troll had no hope.

Crikey! Fair Dinkum? she will defo go crook on me when she sees my list of ailments. She's got some hard yakka ahead of her!*

*Translation available upon request

 

[lustychimera]

Nice!

Alright, my drama llama be thirsty now.

 

[Rustyoznail]

Crikey! Fair Dinkum? she will defo go crook on me when she sees my list of ailments. She's got some hard yakka ahead of her!*

*Translation available upon request

Not wrong. She'll be flat out like a lizard drinking.