I have a punning clan...

[Selena_Kitt]

I couldn't resist

SO list your best puns... my husband is famous for his...

"Deja moo - the feeling that you've heard this bull before"

 

[elfin_odalisque]

I couldn't resist

SO list your best puns... my husband is famous for his...

"Deja moo - the feeling that you've heard this bull before"

D'ya wanna see my cunning stunt?

 

[elfin_odalisque]

I couldn't resist

SO list your best puns... my husband is famous for his...

"Deja moo - the feeling that you've heard this bull before"

D'ya wanna see my cunning stunt?

 

[Boota]

What's the difference between a tribe of pygmies and an all girl track team?

Pygmies are cunning runts.


What's the difference between a woman kneeling in prayer and a woman kneeling in a bathtub?

A woman kneeling in prayer has hope in her soul.

 

[Guest]

http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b318/sweetsubsarahh/SalmonDave.gif





















Salmon Dave

 

[Guest]

http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b318/sweetsubsarahh/LooseLeaf.gif

























Loose Leaf

 

[BlackShanglan]

The SO and I will get into running pun exchanges in which we fire them back and forth. Alas, I have been ill lately, and so when we saw a man coming out of a building supply store with yards and yards of flexible plastic exhaust venting / waste tubing wrapped around him in rolls to carry, I was unable to offer anything of substance. The SO, I'm delighted to say, was more than up to running the show solo:

"Cor, look at him! What a waste!" (waist as well, given how he was carrying it)

(Me: *groan*. Feeble mental grasping-about for response.)

"Still, sometimes it does you good to just get outside and vent."

(More groans from horse now increasingly enfeebled by puns as well as illness.)

"Must've hurt when that lot hit him. He should have duct."

(Laughing now. Just have to go with this, the SO is in such fine form.)

"I'll bet he's exhausted carrying that out."

(Official yielding of pun crown to SO for duration of equine infirmity.)

 

[Tom Collins]

The SO and I will get into running pun exchanges in which we fire them back and forth. Alas, I have been ill lately, and so when we saw a man coming out of a building supply store with yards and yards of flexible plastic exhaust venting / waste tubing wrapped around him in rolls to carry, I was unable to offer anything of substance. The SO, I'm delighted to say, was more than up to running the show solo:

"Cor, look at him! What a waste!" (waist as well, given how he was carrying it)

(Me: *groan*. Feeble mental grasping-about for response.)

"Still, sometimes it does you good to just get outside and vent."

(More groans from horse now increasingly enfeebled by puns as well as illness.)

"Must've hurt when that lot hit him. He should have duct."

(Laughing now. Just have to go with this, the SO is in such fine form.)

"I'll bet he's exhausted carrying that out."

(Official yielding of pun crown to SO for duration of equine infirmity.)

Groan...*holding nose, screaming and running away*

 

[Svenskaflicka]

I suppose it counts that I once kept anagramming the word MILKSHAKE for such a long time that when we got up to the ice cream parlor, my friend ordered a SHILKMAKE..?

 

[SouthSkyEyes]

I couldn't resist

SO list your best puns... my husband is famous for his...

"Deja moo - the feeling that you've heard this bull before"

Oh! That is good!

Hadn't heard him udder that one yet, "Selena."

And one for you ... hmmmm.
Not much a pun really, but: Man with nun clothing fetish can't hide dirty habit.

 

[gauchecritic]

An Innuit tribe had been seal hunting and were just dragging their boats from the icy sea onto land. A father had, for the very first time. taken along his son as a sort of rite of initiation and as they dragged their two man craft away from the water the son turned to go rushing to the village to tell his family about this great adventure. Before he had moved three paces the father called him back.

The father carefully explained that their boat must be made ready for their next journey and be kept in very good condition in case of ememrgency need and that before they could go running off they had to dry out the craft. As the youngest it was the son's duty to perform this needy chore. The son, with a weary, despondent voice, asked how he was to accomplish this.

The father explained that there were two traditional methods. One was to build a small fire beneath the boat and to let the heat gently evaporate the water. This took a while but had the advantage of leaving the craft in one piece.
The other method was to remove the lacing which held the two halves of the traditionally built boat and then to suspend each half from a nearby rock face in the mild warmth of the sun. Both methods were unavoidably time consuming but necessary for the safety of future expeditions.

Left to his own impatient devices the son hit upon a plan that would halve the time required to dry out the boat, this earning him praise and perhaps notoriety for his innovation and keen mind.

Accordingly the boy took apart the craft, suspended these on the cliff face and then proceeded to ignite small fires beneath each piece. Obviously this ended in disaster with the boat being consumed by flames because of the fragility of the too quickly dried out skin of the craft becoming dry, brittle and flamable. Which is why only one method of drying must be chosen. In other words...



















You can't halve your kayak and heat it.



Edited to point out that this was stolen entirely from a BBC radio program which featured such persons as Denis Norden and Frank Muir.

 

[TheEarl]

You can't halve your kayak and heat it.

Oh dear Lord.

- What's difference between a pickpocket and a Peeping Tom?
- One snatches watches.

The Earl

 

[Guest]

Oh dear Lord.

- What's difference between a pickpocket and a Peeping Tom?
- One snatches watches.

The Earl

Well, along those same lines . . .

Q - What is the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist?
A - A genealogist looks up your family tree, a gynecologist looks up your family bush!


Q - How does James Bond like his pussy ?
A - Shaven not furred.


Q - What's the biggest problem with being an atheist?
A - No one to talk to during an orgasm!


Q - What do you call a mushroom with a 10 inch stem?
A - A fungi to have around.