I have a problem...

[itsjustnatalie]

So,I'm new to Lit and I decided to post here 'cause I've been having a problem during sex. I figured this would be the best place to ask about it, aside from going to an actual doctor which isn't possible right now.

Okay, now I've been sexually active for about a year now. It's always hurt incredibly bad but I pushed through the pain, hoping I would eventually be able to enjoy sex. It did get better for awhile. Then I went through a few months of not having sex and I expected it to hurt again since it had been so long. This is where the problems began.

My current boyfriend and I wanted to have sex. Now, I'll admit I was incredibly nervous because I expected it to hurt. I know my muscles were tense but eventually I was able to relax. When he tried to put his penis in, he realized I was incredibly dry so he got some lube. No problem after that. This happened about three more times. Each time, I did experience some pain but it would go away after a few minutes.

Flash forward to last night, we were going to have sex. He got the lube and everything ready but when he went to push inside of me, he couldn't. It was like he was shoving a sharp knife into my vagina. I, of course, pushed him away. We decided to try again and the same problem. He couldn't even get the head inside before I would scream out in pain despite all the lube he was using. Somehow, he ended up entering my ass and we just finished up that way because it caused me no pain at all.

He says my vagina doesn't create enough of my own juices even though I'm incredibly horny and it is incredibly tight. Normally, I wouldn't think that a tight vagina would be a problem but apparently it is. If anyone has any suggestions on what may help or what could be wrong, that would be great.​

 

[Lost_Yonder]

I once had a gf who had a similar problem - she was extremely tight, always dry, even after an orgasm from oral, and it hurt her every time I tried to enter her. I can't speak to any medical issues or feminine perspective, but our solution was to buy some toys - starting with a very small dildo, and slowly increasing the size. She slowly got used to and comfortable having something inside her that we were able to enjoy sex fully - though it did take a few months.

Given the sharp pain you had, you might want to check with a doctor. What we surmised, in our very unprofessional opinions, was that it was psychological - the first few times hurt her so much, that each time she was about to have intercourse, her body automatically went tight and she became dry in anticipation of the pain. Getting used to the dildos made her realize it didn't have to be painful and eventually she loosened up and became naturally wet...

 

[Noor]

So,I'm new to Lit and I decided to post here 'cause I've been having a problem during sex. I figured this would be the best place to ask about it, aside from going to an actual doctor which isn't possible right now.

Okay, now I've been sexually active for about a year now. It's always hurt incredibly bad but I pushed through the pain, hoping I would eventually be able to enjoy sex. It did get better for awhile. Then I went through a few months of not having sex and I expected it to hurt again since it had been so long. This is where the problems began.

My current boyfriend and I wanted to have sex. Now, I'll admit I was incredibly nervous because I expected it to hurt. I know my muscles were tense but eventually I was able to relax. When he tried to put his penis in, he realized I was incredibly dry so he got some lube. No problem after that. This happened about three more times. Each time, I did experience some pain but it would go away after a few minutes.

Flash forward to last night, we were going to have sex. He got the lube and everything ready but when he went to push inside of me, he couldn't. It was like he was shoving a sharp knife into my vagina. I, of course, pushed him away. We decided to try again and the same problem. He couldn't even get the head inside before I would scream out in pain despite all the lube he was using. Somehow, he ended up entering my ass and we just finished up that way because it caused me no pain at all.

He says my vagina doesn't create enough of my own juices even though I'm incredibly horny and it is incredibly tight. Normally, I wouldn't think that a tight vagina would be a problem but apparently it is. If anyone has any suggestions on what may help or what could be wrong, that would be great.​

Start with fingers. Get wet enough and relaxed first then try penetration. There is mentally horny and physical horny, for whatever reason your body is not ready.

This is what foreplay is all about. One shouldn't have to discover they are not wet enough or ready via painful sex.

 

[Gil_T2]

Start with fingers. Get wet enough and relaxed first then try penetration. There is mentally horny and physical horny, for whatever reason your body is not ready.

This is what foreplay is all about. One shouldn't have to discover they are not wet enough or ready via painful sex.

Wonderful thoughts Noor.

Google has lots on this very subject you might like to checkout ......
http://www.google.com.au/search?sou...nal+sex&btnG=Google+Search&aq=f&aqi=&aql=&oq=

I wish you luck as sex should always bring pleasure. Also anal can also bring you orgasms so don't just think of it as pleasing your partner, relax & enjoy your sexual journey & hope you find what you need to be able to enjoy all kinds of sexual pleasures & sex is meant to be pleasure for you too.

 

[itsjustnatalie]

Thanks for the advice. Its helpful but it does bring up an additional issue I've had.

Even when playing on my own,when I'm wet enough and relaxed, I can't even insert my finger. For some reason, a finger hurts worse then an actual penis. Well, it did hurt worse before the pain last night. I haven't tried inserting anything since then out of fear.

This may not be related but I've also had the same issue with inserting tampons. I can't use them because the pain is that bad. Its like my vagina muscles will just tighten up no matter how hard I try to relax them whenever any type of penetration is involved.

 

[Cameo_Fleur]

Two things come to my mind, both medical issues.

Vaginismus. This is a condition in which the powerful muscles of the vagina tighten and make penetration painful and sometimes impossible. It should be diagnosed by a doctor. It's often the result of an emotional trauman concerning sexual penetration and is very treatable by therapists and medical doctors.

Vaginal dryness. A common condition that occurs in many women of all ages. It can be easily diagnosed by a doctor and the usual treatment is a hormone cream inserted in the vagina.

Please ask her to get checked out by an ob/gyn to see if there is an underlying medical cause for the pain.

 

[SweetErika]

Why is seeing a doctor not an option?

Ideally, you really need to see someone who specializes in female urogenital and sexual conditions. I did this last September, and the doctor was able to diagnose me immediately. She said that most gynecologists aren't well-versed in these conditions (and I found that to be true; my OB/GYN totally swept my concerns under the rug).

But if that's really not an option, you could see a women's health provider, or potentially even a primary care provider. Go in armed with some research on potential conditions, and you can also ask them to check into it and consult with a specialist between appointments.

If your reason for not going is financial, check into places like Planned Parenthood and community health clinics. Most communities offer health care for free or on a sliding-scale basis, and I've found the providers to be very good at tapping into other resources if they're not sure what's going on.

The bottom line is this condition is impacting your life, and you really need to get it checked out, just in case it's an indication of something serious or there's a fairly easy fix.

 

[itsjustnatalie]

Why is seeing a doctor not an option?

Seeing a doctor is not an option because I can't afford to go anywhere at the moment. Whenever I can afford a trip to the doctor, if I am still having an issue, I plan on making an appointment.

However, here's an update that might offer up something new:

I stayed the night with him on Monday night. We tried to have sex but it wouldn't go inside. We tried doggy & missionary position because those were the two ways we were able to have sex before.If his penis slipped in anywhere with ease, we instantly knew it was in my ass. This was all done with a condom on. Then, at one point, we had given up the idea of actually having sex so he took the condom off and cleaned up. Well, about thirty minutes later, we were trying again and he didn't put a condom on again. I got on top this time and he was actually able to penetrate me correctly.

However, he slipped out and at that point I reminded him about putting on a condom. He put one on and the problems began again. We tried every position that had previously worked for us and even some different ones hoping for a success but nothing worked. We gave up at that point because I was getting incredibly frustrated and tired of trying.

Then Tuesday morning, we tried again. He put the condom on and tried to penetrate me. He did get it in but it caused an intense sharp yet burning pain and I couldn't help but cry. That was the end of our sex attempts for the rest of our visit. When he pulled out, he noticed I was leaking a white fluid that we assumed was from an orgasm. This left me confused. My body was in intense pain yet I orgasmed? It makes no sense...

Before anyone asks, yes, there was foreplay and I was actually turned on. We also used a lot of lube to prevent any dryness down there that may cause an issue.

 

[Dr_O]

It sounds like vaginisimus. See an ob/gyn.

 

[fuckmeat]

It sounds like vaginisimus. See an ob/gyn.

Seconded.

In the meantime, although I've never heard of latex causing a reaction like that, it wouldn't hurt to try latex free condoms.

But you need to see a doctor who specialises in genitourinary medicine. And believe me, they will have seen/heard it all before. It's their job to treat you non-judgementally, respectfully and with total confidentiality.

If you can't even insert a finger or tampon, you have some kind of issue going on here. I strongly suggest you invest the time/cash in yourself necessary to let you live a normal adult life. Times are hard for everyone right now but I think you should make this a priority. Can your boyfriend chip in some of the cash? I assume he'd see it as a worthwhile investment in your sexual health.

 

[Saphs]

This may seem silly, but is it possible your hymen is still intact/not fully broken? I only ask because I had a friend who was attempting sex and finding it painful, and she later discovered her hymen was still intact.

I wasn't going to mention this until you mentioned it hurt you to use a tampon. I know a lot of girls find using tampons uncomfortable if they still have their hymen.

If you know it definitely has broken, I second what everyone else has suggested, and you should definitely see a professional.

 

[Noor]

Public health and planned parenthood usually have free ob/gynos.

 

[subwannabe]

One way or another you are just going to have to break down and see a doctor. It sounds like your boyfriend has been really understanding so far but maybe at some point he may decide it's just not worth the trouble anymore. I'm not saying that that is actually going to happen but you really need to get over this hump and there is only one way to do it. This is effecting your life almost as much as if you had a serious medical condition.