I have a friend....and he needs some SEX advice

[she_is_my_addiction]

Patrick is a virgin. Patrick has a new girlfriend. Patrick doesn't know how to read signals or please a woman...fully. I'd like to help him out, but maybe there are others who are better at explaining and helping out with this sort of thing.

So, what does Patrick need to do, what signs should he look for, how should he go about this whole sex/foreplay/sex game business?

Please HELP! It's vital for the future of America!!!

 

[she_is_my_addiction]

We're desperate here, people.

Please?

 

[Belegon]

sad truth: there is no substitute for experience.

Hopeful truth: listen, respond and have an open mind go a long way towards accomplishing things.

signals? I swear, they really are different for each individual, just like fantasies and effective techniques are.

try things out of the blue. watch the reaction. repeat things that get interesting ones.

get her to talk about her self and listen. take good mental notes. remember the WAY she says things. be more interested in her than in yourself ( for a virgin this may be difficult even if you want to do it) remember: fun for her = double fun for you, you get to watch her have the fun and you will be paid back later, normally with great enthusiasm.

good luck Patrick. practice makes perfect. focus on her pleasure and you will get the practice.

 

[CharleyH]

Patrick is a virgin. Patrick has a new girlfriend. Patrick doesn't know how to read signals or please a woman...fully. I'd like to help him out, but maybe there are others who are better at explaining and helping out with this sort of thing.

So, what does Patrick need to do, what signs should he look for, how should he go about this whole sex/foreplay/sex game business?

Please HELP! It's vital for the future of America!!!

Hm. Hard. If Patrick was here, I could teach him. I will give it a shot:

Eye contact - gain it.

Once gained, think of something, pick up on something, overhear whatever, what does she like.

Use it, and move in.

From there, talk. NO "Can I buy you a drink or want to dance . . . "

Listen to her - EVERYTHING she says, pick cues. Talk about HER. If she is stumped and he is . . . have you travelled? (everyone has been to Buffalo) You are in the city? Far from work? What do you do? Cool . . . from this dull thing, you must pick up on the nuances of what she is . . . and go with it, or Kafka is good works for me?

No one can tell someone how, they either pick up or do not. The important thing is no from one person is not no from another. Don't be afraid, women smell it . . . go for it?

Bad advice. 12 now . . . gonna go try it

 

[rikaaim]

In my experience when a person is a virgin, it's better to be unknowledgable. The fun in being a virgin is experimenting first hand with a willing partner. Every little touch, despite how miniscule, becomes much more enticing and exciting to both people. She'll get excited seeing how excited he is getting. He may not hit all of the right buttons per say, but when she sees the look on his face of sheer extascy, I don't think it will matter. If it is a really big problem, have her instruct him. It could be a game. First time role play deal. She can be the sex-ed teacher and he can be the anxious student needing a good grade to pass the class. There's always the diligent homework assaigments and of course bonus point potential.

 

[Belegon]

I'd like to note that Charley and I both stressed the importance of listening and if you look at the times, we were writing simultaneously. neither of us could see the other's post.

 

[CharleyH]

I'd like to note that Charley and I both stressed the importance of listening and if you look at the times, we were writing simultaneously. neither of us could see the other's post.

LOL getting dressed. I rarely get a no :| But yes, must listen . . . women love to talk hopefully - lol

Night all

 

[fairysong]

Listening is a very good idea. I do talk alot especially if i like a guy, there is always clues but its so hard to explain. He'll be fine as long as he pays attention to her talk and her body language.

 

[she_is_my_addiction]

Patrick doesn't know how to read body language either.


He's VIRGIN virgin.

 

[SnoopDog]

Patrick is a virgin. Patrick has a new girlfriend. Patrick doesn't know how to read signals or please a woman...fully. I'd like to help him out, but maybe there are others who are better at explaining and helping out with this sort of thing.

So, what does Patrick need to do, what signs should he look for, how should he go about this whole sex/foreplay/sex game business?

Please HELP! It's vital for the future of America!!!

What about the future of the 'old Europe' ???? Who thinks about that ? (and takes my virginity? Lol !)

Snoopy

 

[moonlight elf]

Patrick doesn't know how to read body language either.


He's VIRGIN virgin.

You have your hands full then. Maybe if he were here we could teach him how to read body language.

Its very important, at least i think i send out alot that way instead of through verbal talk. The eyes are the most important maybe if he could read that it would help.

 

[English Lady]

SIMA ...i'f you've not already look over on the how to forum. There must be loads of hesitantvirgin posts over there

Tell him to revel in his virginity. Be proud of it and use it tohis advantage It will makeher feel special, knowing she is the first and it will take a bit of the pressure of him

My first time was awesome, my husband gave me a wholebody massage first and that really worked for me. Be gentle and as has been said listen and watch for her reactions

 

[she_is_my_addiction]

You guys have all been so so helpful and I wanna thank you all. He's a good friend of mine and I'd do anything to help with this (well almost anything )

Keep the advice coming!

 

[Liar]

If the girl really likes him, and he is honest about his lack of experiene, chances are she will find it adorable, and take it as her job to teach him stuff. And if she turns a guy down for not being a god in bed...well...that's not the kind of gf I'd want anyway.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

When I think about my first experiences, what I remember is the lack of communication, which occurred in the sending, not the receiving. We were both so caught up in what we were experiencing that we kind of kept our reactions to ourselves, not wanting to look uncool, and it was a kind of grim and serious business. That’s unfortunate, because the communication (and it’s almost all nonverbal) is probaby the most important things in making love, and it’s not something you’re born with. That’s one reason why I think virgins are so over-rated.

By “body language”, I assume he means how to tell when a girl wants to go further with him, because once they’re in the clinch the body language is pretty obvious. I’d also assume the moment he’s concerned with is when to give her the First Kiss, which is usually the big quantum step.

It may sound silly, but I favor just telling her that he wants to kiss her. If she’s game, fine, and if not, then the embarrassment is still a lot less than lunging at her and getting a mouthful of hair when she turns her head to avoid it. It also avoids spending hours with your arm around her shoulders waiting for her to give you some invisible sign that she doesn’t know how to give.

Once they’re kissing the body language is pretty obvious. If she starts pushing you away or saying “Stop”, then stop. Forget all those myths about her “really wanting it”. If she really wants it, you’ll know, or else you’ve got the wrong girl.

---dr.M.

 

[Couture]

He could hire a whore and take care of that whole virginity thing.

However, he needs to pony up and tell the truth to her. She probably already suspects. Maybe she's a virgin too?

Then pony up again. Valentine's day isn't that far away, and prom and Valentine's are natural aphrodisiacs.

Some of the nicer hotels have dinner, champagne, room packages. Go ahead and reserve one. Tell her in advance. Take some protection.

 

[Lisa Denton]

Well, if Patrick is 18 (thats important) and his nameless girlfriends initials are sumpthin like S-I-M-A, then maybe if he can't read signals or get the idea then you should let him read some stories on Lit. Tell him its for educational purposes only and lean over his shoulder and whisper definitions in his ear for things like "golden showers, multiple mind blowin orgasms and double penetration" maybe he will start to get a hint.

 

[carsonshepherd]

It may sound silly, but I favor just telling her that he wants to kiss her. If she’s game, fine, and if not, then the embarrassment is still a lot less than lunging at her and getting a mouthful of hair when she turns her head to avoid it. It also avoids spending hours with your arm around her shoulders waiting for her to give you some invisible sign that she doesn’t know how to give.

---dr.M.

Oh, I like that. That's so sexy.

 

[woodnymph_O]

gotta say

He needs to go with the "There's Something about Mary" Philosophy. ejaculate before the date, so then his UPPER mind is free to listen and read signals. Not to mention if he gets some he might have a chance in hell of lasting more than 20 seconds.
Nymphy

 

[TheEarl]

It may sound silly, but I favor just telling her that he wants to kiss her. If she’s game, fine, and if not, then the embarrassment is still a lot less than lunging at her and getting a mouthful of hair when she turns her head to avoid it. It also avoids spending hours with your arm around her shoulders waiting for her to give you some invisible sign that she doesn’t know how to give.

Wait for an appropriate break in the conversation and look silently thoughtful while staring at her.

Girl: What are you thinking about?
Patrick: I was... I was actually thinkng about kissing you.
Girl (blushing smile): Okay.

Good thinking DrM.

The Earl

 

[Liar]

Girl: What are you thinking about?
Patrick: I was... I was actually thinkng about kissing you.
Girl (blushing smile): Okay.

Girl: What are you thinking about?
Liar: I was... I was actually thinkng about throwing you down on the sofa and ravaging you until the cows come home.
Girl: You're a freak. But you're funny. Wanna make out?
Liar: Ok.

Hey, it worked. That's probaby the only time I've solicited necking and gotten it. I'm not the kind that takes first steps.

 

[Couture]

Patrick is a virgin. Patrick has a new girlfriend. Patrick doesn't know how to read signals or please a woman...fully. I'd like to help him out, but maybe there are others who are better at explaining and helping out with this sort of thing.

So, what does Patrick need to do, what signs should he look for, how should he go about this whole sex/foreplay/sex game business?

Please HELP! It's vital for the future of America!!!

And if SIMA is the new girlfriend, then disregard my earlier advice. Tell Patrick that V-Day is coming up. Tell him it would be nice for him to plan a romantic evening. Place your hand on his crotch. Tell him if it's dreamy, you may give him a reward. Give him a squeeze and finish with "If you are lucky".

I think he'll manage to figure out the rest.

And the two of you will have a really romantic evening. And he'll have a first time to remember.

Good luck!

If that doesn't work. Give me a call, and I'll come over, grab you by the hair, push you against the wall, and give you a good fucking. I'm okay with Patrick watching how it's done.

 

[she_is_my_addiction]

Yikes! I'm so not the new gf! The new girlfriend's name is Holly, she's 18, a senior in high school, and blonde.

Nice try y'all.

 

[Guest]

Have they talked about having sex? Is she a virgin too? Has she asked him for sex? How long have they been going out?

Maybe its much ado about nothing. Maybe she isn't ready yet, and the best he can do is be a good boyfriend, and worry about being her lover later.

Apologies if any of these have been answered already. Admittedly, I have only scanned quickly here.

 

[Gringao]

Re: gotta say

He needs to go with the "There's Something about Mary" Philosophy. ejaculate before the date, so then his UPPER mind is free to listen and read signals. Not to mention if he gets some he might have a chance in hell of lasting more than 20 seconds.
Nymphy

There is great wisdom here. Tell Grasshopper Patrick to heed this forest sprite's advice: spank said monkey and reduce the DSBs (dreaded semen buildup). This will let him relax a bit and stop trying so hard.

The reference to "SIMA" was a suggestion to 'take one for the team," I think.