I have a confession.

[LittleJane]

When I found this website and started browsing to see if there's something to my liking, I randomly found this guy Gaelforce, meaning - his audios, and... I think pretty much every female user of this website knows very well how I feel about it. The reason I was looking for something like this, to begin with, is because of lack of sexual activities in my life at the moment. I am in a long distance relationship, so my boyfriend can not always be there to help me when I'm in the mood. And, by the way, we both watch porn, so I thought this would be in the same category, if you know what I mean. So, I listened to Gaelforce's audio. And then I listened to another one, also by him. And then I listened to one more. And so on. I literary couldn't stop myself from doing it. I know you ladies understand me. I don't think it's time yet to describe every detail of my experience by listening to Gael's audios, so let's just say he succeeded to give me something nobody ever could give to me... multiple times. So, then I started thinking "What if this isn't in the same category as porn? What if this is actually cheating?". I mean, I for one don't think this is cheating, but I thought maybe I'm wrong, so I decided to tell my boyfriend about it while we were on skype. We can talk about everything, we are very honest to each other. So, when I told him, he said he thinks that's a strange case; he never had any experience with that and that he needs to think about it is it wrong or not, I mean - how he feels about it, because he never had this situation before, all he knows about is porn and he even rarely watches it. Probably some of you now think "Why did you tell him?!", but really, I'm an honest person, and I love my boyfriend very much, and I know I would appreciate if it was the other way around. And maybe I wouldn't approve if he was doing this. Anyway, today I decided to seduce my boyfriend and see if he's up for a sexy chat, instead of doing it by myself. And by "by myself", I mean with Gael's voice in my ears. Sadly, my boyfriend caught a cold and felt very sick, and very tired, he works hard, so after I tried to seduce him by talking sexy to him, he liked it - of course - but along with feeling sick, he had to do something for his job, and he apologized to me cause I was in the mood and he wasn't, but I just said it's okay, cause I understand him. So, then, I plugged in my headphones into my computer, placed the headphones in my ears and listened to Gael's magnificence. Two times. Later on, I talked to my boyfriend again and he said he thought about it and doesn't feel cool about it. He said that he can't stop me from doing it, and if I want to do it - I should, but he doesn't feel that it's okay. So I told him that I'm not gonna do it anymore. And I said that because I care about his feelings. And I meant it. And since then, I didn't do it. Instead - I got lucky with my boyfriend tonight. And that was all great, but then, when my boyfriend went to bed and we stopped skyping, I could hear Gael's voice in my head, without even listening to his audios. I hear it all the time. I really (and I mean really) want to listen to him now, but I told my boyfriend I'm not going to. If I do it non the less, it would mean that I lied to him and I would feel really bad about it. I would end up telling my boyfriend that I did it and apologizing to him. I just don't want to be in that kind of a situation. So, I guess my guilty pleasure has to end. I didn't write all this because I'm seeking attention, or seeking for help, or an advice (but I would appreciate every single one), but because I needed to get it out of my chest to people who, I believe, are open-minded, and the only ones that will understand the situation I'm in. I stayed up until six in the morning last night, you can imagine what I did. Right? I feel a great need to listen to Gael at this moment, it's almost unbearable. But, I have to cool off and stop doing it because my boyfriend doesn't approve (and you can imagine what he would think of ME posting such audios of myself, for everyone to listen to). I must admit... it's hard. I have no idea who this person is, nor how he looks like, nor how old he is... I don't know anything about him. But I know how he made me feel with nothing else but his voice. What he does... I just... I think I'm speechless.

Sorry for the long text, I hope you don't mind. Happy New Year to everyone! And a very Happy New Year to this guy Gaelforce, may all his wishes come true. I guess my wish would be that, if I'm definitely stopping listening to his audios, I could see how he looks like. That's what I wish for, I guess. I'm aware that it's not that possible, though.

Thank you for reading! xoxo

 

[greygotskills]

An interesting dilemma.

Technically it's not cheating because you are not corresponding or communicating with Gael. Rather than being visually stimulated you are audibly being stimulated by his stories. If you make a promise to your partner you should keep it but he did give you the choice to do as you please. Gael is sort of a stand in for your long distance boyfriend. I think if your boyfriend were physically around you would not have such an intense interest in listening to Gael's voice. When someone you love can't be near or with you look for something to fill that void. You should try telling your boyfriend that you are indulging in a harmless fantasy that in no way threatens your relationship. I think it is very healthy that you and your man have an open and honest relationship where you can communicate. Hope you can figure things out. Happy New Year.

 

[LittleJane]

Thank you so much for everything you wrote, I appreciate it You are right, I probably would not be interested, nor would I perhaps even find this website if it wasn't for my relationship situation. But, my boyfriend really doesn't have a reason to doubt me, and he doesn't, we trust each other, and I would never actually cheat on him. Never. So, I guess this was harmless after all

 

[greygotskills]

Thank you so much for everything you wrote, I appreciate it You are right, I probably would not be interested, nor would I perhaps even find this website if it wasn't for my relationship situation. But, my boyfriend really doesn't have a reason to doubt me, and he doesn't, we trust each other, and I would never actually cheat on him. Never. So, I guess this was harmless after all

It would be no different if say you happen to find a particular porn actor attractive and chose to view only his films. It doesn't even have to be porn let's say you love Brad Pitt and fantasize about him. I don't think your boyfriend would say I prefer you not watch anymore Pitt films. Erotic material is meant to stimulate your fantasies. Most people never act out on the majority of them or would even want to. It's just for fun.

 

[LittleJane]

It would be no different if say you happen to find a particular porn actor attractive and chose to view only his films. It doesn't even have to be porn let's say you love Brad Pitt and fantasize about him. I don't think your boyfriend would say I prefer you not watch anymore Pitt films. Erotic material is meant to stimulate your fantasies. Most people never act out on the majority of them or would even want to. It's just for fun.

Thank you for this! I feel much better now And you are absolutely right.

 

[GoldenCojones]

Cheating

In my opinion what you did at first was not cheating. You listened to a sexy audio recording and it turned you on. You were not looking to replace your boyfriend or do anything to hurt him. And you were honest with him! That should be the key.

Now you have told him you wouldn't listen to it anymore. To do it now, behind his back, so to speak, would be breaking your word. In relationships of any type, honesty is highly important. If you decide that you need to listen to the recordings again I recommend discussing it with your boyfriend first. Tell him that in his absence, you need this. Be honest with him, as you have been. You don't need his permission, but gaining his understanding would be a big benefit to your relationship.

This is all just my opinion. I hope it gives you something to think about.

 

[LittleJane]

In my opinion what you did at first was not cheating. You listened to a sexy audio recording and it turned you on. You were not looking to replace your boyfriend or do anything to hurt him. And you were honest with him! That should be the key.

Now you have told him you wouldn't listen to it anymore. To do it now, behind his back, so to speak, would be breaking your word. In relationships of any type, honesty is highly important. If you decide that you need to listen to the recordings again I recommend discussing it with your boyfriend first. Tell him that in his absence, you need this. Be honest with him, as you have been. You don't need his permission, but gaining his understanding would be a big benefit to your relationship.

This is all just my opinion. I hope it gives you something to think about.

Thank you so much, it means a lot!

 

[Sammael Bard]

You had to make a confession in Story Feedback?

 

[LittleJane]

You had to make a confession in Story Feedback?

Since I expressed my opinion about a specific author, I think this text belongs in this section. Sorry if I'm wrong.

 

[litmlove]

Sorry to be a party pooper, but there is such as thing as emotional cheating.

Having said that I don't think this is an Emotional Affair. Are you fixated? Sure, but it sounds like you are a woman capable of understanding and keeping to your limits. So don't worry, but be mindful of you SO's feelings and remember your attachment is unhealthy for you (but so is junk food: it's ok in moderation).

 

[LittleJane]

Sorry to be a party pooper, but there is such as thing as emotional cheating.

Having said that I don't think this is an Emotional Affair. Are you fixated? Sure, but it sounds like you are a woman capable of understanding and keeping to your limits. So don't worry, but be mindful of you SO's feelings and remember your attachment is unhealthy for you (but so is junk food: it's ok in moderation).

It's interesting to know different points of view, thanks for your post

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

You had to make a confession in Story Feedback?

Youre becoming insufferable.

 

[rjordan]

Youre becoming insufferable.

Irony is often lost on the ironic.

 

[Sammael Bard]

Since I expressed my opinion about a specific author, I think this text belongs in this section. Sorry if I'm wrong.

Yes, a part of it is about Gael, but a quick glance through your post told me that it was more about a problem in your relationship. I would suggest posting a separate thread in Fetish and Sexuality Control Forums (or somewhere similar), where you might get better response.

I'm sorry, but I didn't go through the entire thing.

Youre becoming insufferable.

Now, don't get upset just because I didn't wish you. Happy New Year to you too, James.

 

[xhellblazerx]

I would not go with the fetish forum

I think this post would get some good responses in the How to forum, a lot of people discuss relationship issues and questions there, and get good responses.

 

[LittleJane]

I'm new to this forum so I don't know how all the sections work and stuff, but thanks for telling me either way

 

[Bramblethorn]

Agree with the suggestion that How To is the best place to ask this.

My rule of thumb is that cheating is whatever your partner thinks of as cheating.

I really (and I mean really) want to listen to him now, but I told my boyfriend I'm not going to. If I do it non the less, it would mean that I lied to him and I would feel really bad about it.

Yeah, if you've told him you're not going to, going back on that is a bad idea. BUT, that doesn't mean you can't renegotiate - as long as he agrees to it.

I think your best bet there is to approach it as an augment to your relationship rather than an alternative to your relationship: "listening to this gets me excited, and then I'll channel that excitement into things with YOU".

Speaking for myself - I don't care what else my partner is doing as long as it's not cutting into our quality time.

 

[LittleJane]

Agree with the suggestion that How To is the best place to ask this.

My rule of thumb is that cheating is whatever your partner thinks of as cheating.



Yeah, if you've told him you're not going to, going back on that is a bad idea. BUT, that doesn't mean you can't renegotiate - as long as he agrees to it.

I think your best bet there is to approach it as an augment to your relationship rather than an alternative to your relationship: "listening to this gets me excited, and then I'll channel that excitement into things with YOU".

Speaking for myself - I don't care what else my partner is doing as long as it's not cutting into our quality time.

I agree with everything you wrote. Thank you

As for the suitable thread for my post, if there is a way I could move it to that other place on the forum, please tell me how and I'll do it if I'm able to.

 

[Sammael Bard]

As for the suitable thread for my post, if there is a way I could move it to that other place on the forum, please tell me how and I'll do it if I'm able to.

Done.

 

[Somehowyou]

two Hail Mary's
Three Lord's Prayers
four Rosaries.

That should do it.

For my money I do not think this is cheating. It would be OK with me if I were dating you.

 

[silverwhisper]

i'd agree with the consensus that it isn't cheating. it may be something else, and your bf has picked up on that.

i'd characterize this as being more of a crush: there's no interaction at all. gael has posted recordings of his doing something sexy, and you liked them a lot. a recording isn't too different, at least in this context, of your having witnessed him doing something sexy and simply remembering it.

the question to me is: what do you plan to do re: the recordings now?

ed