I had my child out of wedlock, I chose not to marry her father

[Redatlit]

Some women are of the opinion that they can raise a child just fine without having the child's father around.

Some men are naturally aghast at that thought.

And Pink has definitely done a wonderful job. She has every right to be proud.

 

[Drixxx]

That's too simple.It doesn't take into account men who change their minds after a while - like my ex, who after 13 years, suddenly decides he wants all the rights to interaction, but makes it so I have to take him through a govt dept just to get $31 a month in mainenence.
If there's a system in place for women to force maintenence, why shouldn't there be a system in place for men to be able to opt out early enough for the woman to be able to make an informed decision as to whether or not she wants to continue with a pregnancy, KNOWING absolutely that she will not get a cent from the father?
Then there's no way an unwilling father could be forced to pay for a child he either doesn't want, or that resulted from a mishap like condom failure.

Not at all. Men who relinquish their rights don't get any.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Some women are of the opinion that they can raise a child just fine without having the child's father around.

Some men are naturally aghast at that thought.

I recall one 15 year old girl with a baby, all her brothers, uncles, cousins, and most of the neighbors were tested for paternity...the winner was one of the brothers.

On another occasion a woman implicated several men as putative dads but the winner was her Pa.

 

[warrior queen]

Not at all. Men who relinquish their rights don't get any.

Relinquish their rights in what way?
By not paying? By just not being part of the child's life?
How is it determined?

I'm asking because here in Australia, men who have absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with their child for whatever reason, are still able to be taken thro the Child Support Agency for maintenence. The mother can even force dna testing.
Then he's stuck paying 18% of his income till the child turns 18.

There have been cases where a man had no idea he was a father, till the woman began proceedings - sometimes years after the birth.
And then he was made to back pay all those years.

 

[Redatlit]

if the mother doesn't want it the father can have it, and if the father doesn't want it either it goes to adoption?

That's how I thought it worked, so I'm not sure what he's driving at with the question.

 

[LadyFunkenstein]

I recall one 15 year old girl with a baby, all her brothers, uncles, cousins, and most of the neighbors were tested for paternity...the winner was one of the brothers.

On another occasion a woman implicated several men as putative dads but the winner was her Pa.

How did you know this 15 year old girl? Did you fuck her too? What did her brothers and cousins think about you?

 

[Drixxx]

I don't believe a woman can give her baby up for adoption if the biological father wants the baby. That said, if the woman is the one who "walks away" she should have to pay child support to the father. I believe that is how it works, anyway. No?

You're not addressing the issue. Your outrage was about men shirking their responsibility as a parent, not adoption policies. Let's be real here. Women don't need to prove that a man wants or doesn't want the baby when seeking adoption. All she has to say is she doesn't know the father and that's where the issue ends. She doesn't have to prove anything. I know of no adoption agency that requires DNA proof and legal affidavit that the father has relinquished all parental rights.

 

[Drixxx]

Relinquish their rights in what way?
By not paying? By just not being part of the child's life?
How is it determined?

I'm asking because here in Australia, men who have absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with their child for whatever reason, are still able to be taken thro the Child Support Agency for maintenence. The mother can even force dna testing.
Then he's stuck paying 18% of his income till the child turns 18.

There have been cases where a man had no idea he was a father, till the woman began proceedings - sometimes years after the birth.
And then he was made to back pay all those years.

What you're describing is more bad law that is not practiced in any other contracts. You could not as a business create a product/service, not deliver for a number of years, then charge a customer for it years later and demand back payments as well.

There are men is the U.S. who have been proven NOT to be the father and still forced to pay child support. There's lots of bad law out there.

 

[Redatlit]

You're not addressing the issue. Your outrage was about men shirking their responsibility as a parent, not adoption policies. Let's be real here. Women don't need to prove that a man wants or doesn't want the baby when seeking adoption. All she has to say is she doesn't know the father and that's where the issue ends. She doesn't have to prove anything. I know of no adoption agency that requires DNA proof and legal affidavit that the father has relinquished all parental rights.

Have you actually read any of my posts? I am not outraged about anything. You pay little attention. Your debate skills are absolutely horrible and having a civil discussion with you is nearly impossible. Seriously, work on this problem.

In the state where I live a man can file a pre-birth paternity suit to protect his rights in the case of adoption.

Can a woman hide a pregnancy from a man and thus put it up for adoption, raise the child, or abort it without his knowledge? Absolutely, that's just the nature of the beast. Do I agree with women doing that? Depends on the situation.

You do realize that because only women can bear a child your sense of fairness can never really be obtained, don't you?

 

[Drixxx]

Have you actually read any of my posts? I am not outraged about anything. You pay little attention. Your debate skills are absolutely horrible and having a civil discussion with you is nearly impossible. Seriously, work on this problem.

In the state where I live a man can file a pre-birth paternity suit to protect his rights in the case of adoption.

Can a woman hide a pregnancy from a man and thus put it up for adoption, raise the child, or abort it without his knowledge? Absolutely, that's just the nature of the beast. Do I agree with women doing that? Depends on the situation.

You do realize that because only women can bear a child your sense of fairness can never really be obtained, don't you?

This isn't outrage? Seriously?

bitter men who don't want to accept THEIR responsibility because they CHOSE to have sex and it resulted in a child the women didn't want to abort.

Your arguements are weak and that's why your're frustrated by my responses. You jump back and forth between what's right and moral and "oh well, that's the nature of the beast" whenever it's convenient. You can't have it both ways and be consistent.

 

[Redatlit]

This isn't outrage? Seriously?



Your arguements are weak and that's why your're frustrated by my responses. You jump back and forth between what's right and moral and "oh well, that's the nature of the beast" whenever it's convenient. You can't have it both ways and be consistent.

No, it's not outrage. It's a post reacting to your outrage, you nincompoop.

No, I can actually think through a situation and look at the big picture. You, on the other hand, think that we can institute laws that make things "fair" for the man in a situation that involves children (who have no voice in the situation), the decision to bear a child (which only physically affects the woman), and society as a whole.

Our current family law is not perfect, but when it comes to reproductive rights the current state of affairs is better than any of the alternatives you seem to support. You are unwilling or unable (which I think is probably the issue here) to see the unintended consequences that would result from giving men the ability to simply say, "I relinquish any rights and therefore have no responsibility to financially support this child, if you refuse to either abort it or give it up for adoption." Are you truly that dense?

 

[TexasWife25]

There are men is the U.S. who have been proven NOT to be the father and still forced to pay child support. There's lots of bad law out there.

The only cases I know of where this occurs, is where the man has already taken on the role of father for several years.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

How did you know this 15 year old girl? Did you fuck her too? What did her brothers and cousins think about you?

Hi SAFE BET! they musta run you off AH.

Dear Reader

SAFE BET died a while back but makes guest or alt visits occasionally.

Anyway, Niggaz aint my cuppa tea, and all her mens flooded the judge with motions to surrender their parental rights.

 

[blunt_trauma]

you are an ugly, ugly person.

 

[eyer]

Walgreens is advertising huge bottles of aspirin for $3 bucks a pop...

...problem solved.

 

[LadyFunkenstein]

Hi SAFE BET! they musta run you off AH.

Dear Reader

SAFE BET died a while back but makes guest or alt visits occasionally.

Anyway, Niggaz aint my cuppa tea, and all her mens flooded the judge with motions to surrender their parental rights.

Then how do you know her? Are you poverty stricken, and such you live in a shitty neighborhood filled with poor "niggaz"?

Or did you lie about knowing her in the name of your sad internet campaign to make yourself feel better about your sorry life?

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Then how do you know her? Are you poverty stricken, and such you live in a shitty neighborhood filled with poor "niggaz"?

Or did you lie about knowing her in the name of your sad internet campaign to make yourself feel better about your sorry life?

Po girl wuz my client. Dat iz I worked wiff her lawyer to get her outta duh house an into a program fo yung womens wiff babies.

 

[richard_daily]

Po girl wuz my client. Dat iz I worked wiff her lawyer to get her outta duh house an into a program fo yung womens wiff babies.

So you're finally admitting that you're a john.

I didn't realize that you could use food stamps for that.

 

[Marci_M]

What an interesting discussion. The contributions and thoughts of the members of this board are thought-provoking.

I do want to applaud all of the single mothers who, when elements of society may have provided great pressure to take the "easier" route of abortion, in an act of unrestrained love brought a life into this world, a human that is another contributor to the combined beauty of the world.

And I hope we show love and understanding to those who did take the route of abortion, who perhaps at that moment in life did not have the strength and courage to have a child, to show understanding for the great pressures that can be brought to bear on someone in that situation.

I'll never understand why some elements of society socially sanction a mother who, by bringing a child into this world without the support of a husband, has engaged in an act of great courage and love. Women who make that decision should be applauded and supported.

Wow, I think I love you At least I love how you think. Moving to New York any time soon?

 

[IrezumiKiss]

Hi SAFE BET! they musta run you off AH.

Dear Reader

SAFE BET died a while back but makes guest or alt visits occasionally.

Anyway, Niggaz aint my cuppa tea, and all her mens flooded the judge with motions to surrender their parental rights.

Po girl wuz my client. Dat iz I worked wiff her lawyer to get her outta duh house an into a program fo yung womens wiff babies.

I bet I could make Trump-level bank selling portable air fresheners at your funeral. In either aerosol or votive candle format. And your grandchildren will most likely be buying five-a-pop.

 

[LadyFunkenstein]

Po girl wuz my client. Dat iz I worked wiff her lawyer to get her outta duh house an into a program fo yung womens wiff babies.

Yes of course I believe you are speaking of a "client". Highly believable, I swear.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I bet I could make Trump-level bank selling portable air fresheners at your funeral. In either aerosol or votive candle format. And your grandchildren will most likely be buying five-a-pop.

I'm gonna self-incinerate myself at the county jail and make 100s of Niggaz homeless at the same time.

 

[LadyFunkenstein]

I'm gonna self-incinerate myself at the county jail and make 100s of Niggaz homeless at the same time.

I think I speak for everyone when I say DO IT! your life is worth the same as theirs, bye bye to all of you.

Now watch you back down from your plan like a pussy...

 

[Angellica1612]

2 people choose to have sex, 2 people are responsible if life is created by that act. However, that life is inside the woman's body, and decisions have to be made. There is no option for wishing away the problem. So, the woman has to decide, quickly, whether to abort or have the baby. That may not be 'fair' but it's a physical reality. And it doesn't change the fact that both people chose to take the risk by having sex, knowing full well that no birth control is 100% effective other than abstinence. Someone said something about how you shouldn't have to pay for a mistake for years. Get real. People pay for many mistakes for the rest of their lives - like the drunk who chooses to drive and either ends up in prison for killing someone else, or in a wheelchair for life when he wrecks. It's called consequences and if you choose to act, you choose to accept the possible consequences. Why should supporting the child you created be any different, whether you wanted it or not? This thread has expanded to cover a variety of circumstances, but the original one was the case where 2 consenting adults had sex and oops, the birth control didn't work. They are equally responsible for the act, and therefore for the consequences. There's your fairness. If one parent wants custody and the other doesn't, that doesn't change the facts and the non-custodial parent should pay support. What's not fair is all the horn dog men who want to have sex and be allowed by law to just walk away simply because the resulting pregnancy isn't in their bodies. What if the shoe were on the other foot? Any by the way, no one addressed it, but kudos to those men who become single dads when it's the woman who doesn't want to raise the child. She should still have to pay support. There's that illusive fairness.

 

[warrior queen]

Righto - what about those situations where the custodial parent refuses to allow the non-custodial parent any interaction with the child, yet is still entitled to receive 18% of their pretax income for 18 years?
Lets take it one step further... I have a friend in the above situation, but because of his financial situation, he can't afford to get a lawyer and take his ex-partner to court (he's paying a huge amount in child support).
If he were to sell his home, he could take her to court for access, but then he wouldn't be left with enough money to rent a home - and if he doesn't have a home, he can't have the kids.
It's a nasty situation all round.
Plus, I also know the mother, and she tells the kids constantly that their dad just doesn't want to see them, doesn't pay support, and doesn't want them. Those kids refer to their dad as the 'wanker' all because of her mean-ness and lies... And there isn't a damn thing the father can do.

IMO, he should be allowed to stop paying any child support until an amicable resolution is reached.

There are many such instances where 'fair' is all in favour of the custodial parent.