i don't know if i should be happy or sad...

[Silverluna]

Vikki got asked to a bdsm orgy....

She lives out of state....thus i won't be there.....i am sick with a mix of feelings....*shaking*

 

[lovetoread]

I'm confused.

Who's Vivki and why are you shaking?

I am not allowed to go to any of them,bummer.

 

[Cheyenne]

 

[Silverluna]

the idea of her with well others.......(*not* me) brought some very bad worries....like well what if she has all of them ..or hits it off with someone ....and then realizes...oh i don't want you in my life anymore kelly.....

and well i don't know much about bsdm.....so im worried about her safety....Vikki is my SO.

 

[Never]

Maybe I'm a jealous, paranoid bitch but I really don't think I'd want my girlfriend to go to anything calling itself an 'orgy'. The BDSM part wouldn't really be my main concern.

 

[marksgirl]

Worried for her safety? I don't blame you!

 

[Silverluna]

but she's very self conscious....and its with friends...i'm tempted to say...go ahead....enjoy....who am i to stop her from enjoying herself...i love her i want the best for her....*bangs head on wall*


oww...*sighs*

 

[T.H. Oughts]

Tell her of your concerns.. if she respects you, she will not do something you are not happy about or undersided about....

 

[Never]

One goes to the amusement park with friends.
One goes to an orgy with a girlfriend.

 

[Cheyenne]

Wait, Vikki is the "he" that is in the process of changing to "she?"
She is into bdsm, too?

 

[bluntforcemama]

Good heavens. Drop the girl on her ass. From what you've told us, she sounds insensitive and ignorant of your feelings.

 

[Never]

Myst:
"Good heavens. Drop the girl on her ass. From what you've told us, she sounds insensitive and ignorant of your feelings."
Thank you!

Cheyenne,
Yes, Vikki is a ftm.

 

[sexy-girl]

Tell her of your concerns.. if she respects you, she will not do something you are not happy about or undersided about....

thats good advice ... or if its something you really dont want then just say no

if you're having these bad feelings now after it happens you could feel even worse

i understand some people want open relationships although its not something i'd want but you seem upset by this if its something you cant deal with then im sure vikki would understand you saying no ... maybe you could go together one time

 

[Silverluna]

Wait, Vikki is the "he" that is in the process of changing to "she?"
She is into bdsm, too?

yes cheyenne...i got in trouble for calling her a him...(she's not gotten the chop yet)

and she has a thing for bdsm...

 

[Silverluna]

i just dunno..im a mess...this whole fucking relationship is a mess....


*shrug* thanks for the imput.

 

[Silverluna]

thats good advice ... or if its something you really dont want then just say no

if you're having these bad feelings now after it happens you could feel even worse

i understand some people want open relationships although its not something i'd want but you seem upset by this if its something you cant deal with then im sure vikki would understand you saying no ... maybe you could go together one time

thanks sexy-girl...
she requires i be just with her. ok she doesnt require but this double standard is annoying...i just want her happy....i love her...

again im so mixed up.....luckily its not till saturday...i've got a day to decide on my feelings....heh...if i will ever be able to...

 

[sexy-girl]

silverluna ... for her to be happy she must need you to be happy too

if this is making you unhappy you need to say something in my opinion

 

[april-wine]

She sounds very controlling, why the double standard?
Is it the BDSM thing? Are you not into that?
Hmm I have to say if it makes you uneasy, or uncomfortable, you need to tell her....Then if she loves you, I think she should respect your feelings....Relationships are give and take, sounds like your SO is doing alot of taking......

 

[dreamer]

You really need to talk this over with her. For someone to consider doing this when it upsets you so much either they're terribly insensitive or the communication just isn't there.

Time for some serious talks.

Good luck. I hope you can both work it out and be happy.

 

[Silverluna]

i give in...i just say ok sweetie...whatever makes you happy....

its easier than dealing with stuff....omg....i so don't want to discuss anything...can't i be miserable??? just avoid this?!

i promise i won't vent and rant....

happiness is important...but i'd rather she be happy than me.
she's controlling in that way..that she knows i just want her happy...but she leaves the big shit for me to pick up and sort through...


EDITED: I am too upset to make sense...

 

[sexy-girl]

silverluna nobody here can telll you what you should do ... we dont want to mess with your relationship and we dont know the whole story

but in my opinion its not good to just be wanting to make her happy ... i love my gf tons so i know where your coming from by saying that ... but if this is something you really dont want its going to cause you problems down the line ... just wanting to make her happy isnt good for your relationship it isnt good for either of you


at least talk about your concerns


*hugs* if you need to talk just pm me

 

[JerseyBoy]

feeling better S-G? hope so...

 

[sexy-girl]

still off sick and a crazy sleep pattern but i wont say anymore i dont want to hijack this thread

 

[Never]

Why is sexy-girl so much better at this than I am?

Silverluna, you need to assert yourself here. Even if you don't say anything so she'll 'be happy' it will hurt your relationship in the long run. Unspoken resentment can break a bond faster than any disagreements you might have.

 

[Silverluna]

i thought....and i wrote....(journal link on my profile)

i told her everything....she said ok i wont go....then i asked do you want to go? yes. ok then go vikki....

I was honest....I was open...and time is just left to see what she will do. I'll stand by her. I can't leave her. Again thanks for the advice/remarks/ect...