I don't get it

[girlsmiley]

What is with the BDSM crowd?

Straight up. I was brought up in a good ol neighbourhood town, and I don't know what the hell these people are on about. Dom, sub, blah blah.

No offense bdsm crew, I love yas, but what the fuck are you on?

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

What exactly is the question, smiley girl?

I would gladly answer...IF i knew what you were asking.

*looks serious, flops down on the floor in a puppy sprawl and waits for clarity*

 

[CandiCame]

What is with the BDSM crowd?

Straight up. I was brought up in a good ol neighbourhood town, and I don't know what the hell these people are on about. Dom, sub, blah blah.

No offense bdsm crew, I love yas, but what the fuck are you on?

"Dom" is short for "dominant"- a dominant partner in the relationship

"Sub" is short for "submissive"- a submissive partner in the relationship

I can't speak for doms, because I'm not one, but as a sub, we (or at least I) are really co-dependent- we like being controlled (sometimes abused, I know I do) and handing over power (and stress) in relationships, instead of striving for equality. Some people, like me, do it with an entire relationship, some people just in the bedroom. There are a lot of different levels with this, like there is with anything, so some people are just submissive in the bedroom, and others are completely, annoyingly, obsessed with their doms- like I tend to get. In a good relationship, your dom takes care of and supports you, and gets that worshipful adoration in return.

It's pretty awesome when you can get it.

 

[twister947]

*looks serious, flops down on the floor in a puppy sprawl...*

Pics! We require pics!

 

[HottieMama]

Like Luna, I'm not quite sure what you are asking.

I identify as a bottom. In the simplest terms that means I like kinky things done TO me, instead of me doing kinky things to someone else.

 

[reachedme]

what am I on, life and sucking the most out of it as I can
Though I have only limited experience the sensations, the stimultion, the release it just takes you to another level

Don't be afraid we have rope, leather and cookies (choc chip)

 

[girlsmiley]

What exactly is the question, smiley girl?

I would gladly answer...IF i knew what you were asking.

*looks serious, flops down on the floor in a puppy sprawl and waits for clarity*

Hey hon!
I am hopeless.
And thanks to everyone that has replied.

Ok. What is it? What is teh BDSM?

I get out quite a bit and know a few people, you know what I'm saying Luna? I have yet to come across ONE person (in RL) who gets into it. I am curious!

I read things and see pics and hear how some of the BDSM crowd gas on here and I just think, 'For real?' or, 'Holy shit!'

So many questions. Can you help me understand what it is?
I can't be the only one who wonders about this stuff.

Everyone. Please.
Feel free to add what you think BDSM is so that some little lesbian from down under can have some sort of understanding.

 

[Safe_Bet]

Love you, chickie!


I personally think that REAL BDSM Dom/Sub relationships are EXTREMELY rare in the RL world, I do know two real ones from Lit. - one chick even used to be in a long term lesbian relationship till she met Sir. LOL! ( She's a sweety. I'll intro you if you'd like).

For me in RL the most I can dig is some hair pulling, bit of wrestling and maybe some fingers hooked in the mouth. I used to leave some bruises pm my Suzy every once in a while but that was just from being "over exuberent".

I will say that I would SERIOUSLY hurts somebody if they even dreamed of trying to tie me down or whip my ass.

 

[girlsmiley]

How dare you

Leave me with thoughts of you being overly exuberant!!

But yeah. I'm guessing the BDSM peeps are few and far between.

I not know.





Edit: Oh yeah and I'd love to meet your mate
Tell her to come and take a gander at this here thread.

 

[Opedia]

Glad I read this thread cuz I didn't know some of that either. Cool!

 

[HottieMama]

Leave me with thoughts of you being overly exuberant!!

But yeah. I'm guessing the BDSM peeps are few and far between.

I not know.





Edit: Oh yeah and I'd love to meet your mate
Tell her to come and take a gander at this here thread.

There are a lot of us kinky folks out there, just most don't scream it from the rooftops.

 

[twister947]

There are a lot of us kinky folks out there, just most don't scream it from the rooftops.

That.

As Safe said, few true practitioners, though. For many, finding the yin to our yang is difficult, and even when we do, real life can be an issue.

 

[girlsmiley]

There are a lot of us kinky folks out there, just most don't scream it from the rooftops.

I can dig it.
I scream, "I'm a capital L lesbian" on special occasions.

 

[HottieMama]

I can dig it.
I scream, "I'm a capital L lesbian" on special occasions.

ROFL...I don't know why but that really did make me laugh.

 

[shy slave]

Hey hon!
I am hopeless.
And thanks to everyone that has replied.

Ok. What is it? What is teh BDSM?

I get out quite a bit and know a few people, you know what I'm saying Luna? I have yet to come across ONE person (in RL) who gets into it. I am curious!

I read things and see pics and hear how some of the BDSM crowd gas on here and I just think, 'For real?' or, 'Holy shit!'

So many questions. Can you help me understand what it is?
I can't be the only one who wonders about this stuff.

Everyone. Please.
Feel free to add what you think BDSM is so that some little lesbian from down under can have some sort of understanding.

I can understand the 'Holy shit' part.

When I first discovered all this I spent at least a year with this look on my face:

Ultimately, for me, it's about pleasure through pain and giving up control of some things to another person.
I no longer want it 24/7, but I have been in that situation, it sort of changed me; and that took some time to figure out if I was happy with that change (I wasn't).

There are a lot of kinky, ordinary people in the UK, doing all kinds of stuff because it makes them feel: safe/happy/horny/free/etc/etc

Small Hijack/ I do love your av hijack over/

 

[sadangel]

Hi Girly,
I'm one of the ones in a RL D/s relationship. For us, that is secondary. What comes first, and has from day one when we planned to be nothing more than "play partners" is Honesty, Trust and Communication. One could say we are a 24/7 couple with D/s and to some degree that is true, but...we both know when that must be laid aside and simply be two people who love each other beyond reason. Yes, Sir (Rob=rgraham666) has used his being my dominant to get me to do things I need to do, like get my meds and flying to Toronto to be with him. Why, because he knows I need the meds and I need him, but my fear of people is so real and so strong, that without it being "an order," I could not have done it. Not would not have done it, could not. I have agoraphobia something fierce and so for Him to give me "orders" to get me here with Him for a few months was necessary.

As to living it 24/7...we do, and we don't. He is always Sir to me, except when around his family or friends, or mine. Just because we are comfortable with my calling Him, Sir, doesn't mean people around us are. (The only friends I call Him Sir around, are my former therapist and my now therapist.) We know when it needs to be left in the bedroom and when it doesn't. My mindset is always submissive to him, simply because it is, but that doesn't mean I'm not an independent person, woman, thinker. I am, very much so and with my Master (Sir's) blessings to be so. He doesn't want a doormat that anyone can scratch their feet on, he wants me, a person who submits to only Him and will claw out the eyes of anyone who attempts to take what belongs to only Him.

I think those who are in RL BDSM relationships don't feel the need to "shout it from the rooftops" simply because they, we are so comfortable in our skin. When I was very much in a long term relationship with a woman, I never found it necessary to say so. As one dear straight friend said to me once. "You don't look gay." My response to her was immediate. "You don't look straight." She didn't either, she looked so butch, it hurt, but she was straighter than an arrow. I knew the reason she looked so butch, why her hair was the way it was, and my response to her, was to let her know how stupid what she said to me was. She got it, immediately. (I have always been someone who could "pass" for straight. Not because I tried, even when I tried to look "butch" everyone called me a "baby butch" because I was so girly!)

For me, being submissive is simply part of who I am. For the first time in my life, I am comfortable in my own skin. Since I finally acknowledge the part of me that is bisexual and the part that is so submissive. Sir is, quite simply put a Dominant. He doesn't try to be, he just is. I don't try to be submissive, I simply am. I haven't been with others, because, I guess, they didn't bring it out in me. Sir does. Without trying. From the first PM we shared until today, as we sit across from one another on seperate computers in the same room, we are in D/s. We don't think about it. Those I know who are in RL relationships, theirs are much the same as ours. They simply...are. They don't try to make it happen.

It's different for every person, every couple. For another couple, it may be entirely different from Sir and I. That doesn't make us right and them wrong...it only means that their reality and relationship is different from ours.

Okay. Sorry. Rambling I think. Just trying to say what I'm thinking and forgetting to read what I've written. Oh well. I'm happy to answer any questions from my end of it, as someone who has lived in both the "straight" and "gay" world...and someone who has lived both "vanilla" and "kinky."

 

[Stella_Omega]

I am not a big fan of the dom/sub thing. It's incredibly rare and it's incredibly popular to claim it. Among the hetero crowd, I see boyfriend girlfriend dynamics where dude pouts and stomps, and gal flatters and manages him-- like the fifties all over again.

I am a REAL big fan of giving and getting strong sensations in pursuit of sexual pleasure and mutual ecstasy. And of tying people up and maybe throwing on a blindfold and then making them holler and shout for a while while I come a couple times-- and then making them holler and shout for a while while they come a couple times.

Stuff like that.

And cages, man, I LOVE cages.

 

[Safe_Bet]

I can dig it.
I scream, "I'm a capital L lesbian" on special occasions.

Pffft! You've got a big 'ol "L" tattooed on your bum, woman! Don't lie!

 

[girlsmiley]

I can understand the 'Holy shit' part.

When I first discovered all this I spent at least a year with this look on my face:

Ultimately, for me, it's about pleasure through pain and giving up control of some things to another person.
I no longer want it 24/7, but I have been in that situation, it sort of changed me; and that took some time to figure out if I was happy with that change (I wasn't).

There are a lot of kinky, ordinary people in the UK, doing all kinds of stuff because it makes them feel: safe/happy/horny/free/etc/etc

Small Hijack/ I do love your av hijack over/

Thanks SS!

The pain. The pain stuff I see/read about makes me
I mean... Sometimes I feel like hitting girls with sticks because it would make me happy, but then I don't think I'd like to be on the receiving end.

UK eh?
Might have to stop over for some erm.... mushy peas. Or summat.

 

[girlsmiley]

Pffft! You've got a big 'ol "L" tattooed on your bum, woman! Don't lie!

That L stands for 'learner' not 'lesbian'

 

[Safe_Bet]

Leave me with thoughts of you being overly exuberant!!

But yeah. I'm guessing the BDSM peeps are few and far between.

I not know.





Edit: Oh yeah and I'd love to meet your mate
Tell her to come and take a gander at this here thread.

SadAngel is the chickie I was talking about. You can tell the diff between her and the posers pretty easily, huh?


SadAngel: Thanks, hon! You rock, woman!!!

Come visit us here ever now and then. You're bi so the gate gaurds will let you in. Tell Rob to join you too! You can tell him GS and I will protect him and make the homos keep their hands to themselves.

Thanks again, sweetie.

 

[girlsmiley]

Hi Girly,
I'm one of the ones in a RL D/s relationship. For us, that is secondary. What comes first, and has from day one when we planned to be nothing more than "play partners" is Honesty, Trust and Communication. One could say we are a 24/7 couple with D/s and to some degree that is true, but...we both know when that must be laid aside and simply be two people who love each other beyond reason. Yes, Sir (Rob=rgraham666) has used his being my dominant to get me to do things I need to do, like get my meds and flying to Toronto to be with him. Why, because he knows I need the meds and I need him, but my fear of people is so real and so strong, that without it being "an order," I could not have done it. Not would not have done it, could not. I have agoraphobia something fierce and so for Him to give me "orders" to get me here with Him for a few months was necessary.

As to living it 24/7...we do, and we don't. He is always Sir to me, except when around his family or friends, or mine. Just because we are comfortable with my calling Him, Sir, doesn't mean people around us are. (The only friends I call Him Sir around, are my former therapist and my now therapist.) We know when it needs to be left in the bedroom and when it doesn't. My mindset is always submissive to him, simply because it is, but that doesn't mean I'm not an independent person, woman, thinker. I am, very much so and with my Master (Sir's) blessings to be so. He doesn't want a doormat that anyone can scratch their feet on, he wants me, a person who submits to only Him and will claw out the eyes of anyone who attempts to take what belongs to only Him.

I think those who are in RL BDSM relationships don't feel the need to "shout it from the rooftops" simply because they, we are so comfortable in our skin. When I was very much in a long term relationship with a woman, I never found it necessary to say so. As one dear straight friend said to me once. "You don't look gay." My response to her was immediate. "You don't look straight." She didn't either, she looked so butch, it hurt, but she was straighter than an arrow. I knew the reason she looked so butch, why her hair was the way it was, and my response to her, was to let her know how stupid what she said to me was. She got it, immediately. (I have always been someone who could "pass" for straight. Not because I tried, even when I tried to look "butch" everyone called me a "baby butch" because I was so girly!)

For me, being submissive is simply part of who I am. For the first time in my life, I am comfortable in my own skin. Since I finally acknowledge the part of me that is bisexual and the part that is so submissive. Sir is, quite simply put a Dominant. He doesn't try to be, he just is. I don't try to be submissive, I simply am. I haven't been with others, because, I guess, they didn't bring it out in me. Sir does. Without trying. From the first PM we shared until today, as we sit across from one another on seperate computers in the same room, we are in D/s. We don't think about it. Those I know who are in RL relationships, theirs are much the same as ours. They simply...are. They don't try to make it happen.

It's different for every person, every couple. For another couple, it may be entirely different from Sir and I. That doesn't make us right and them wrong...it only means that their reality and relationship is different from ours.

Okay. Sorry. Rambling I think. Just trying to say what I'm thinking and forgetting to read what I've written. Oh well. I'm happy to answer any questions from my end of it, as someone who has lived in both the "straight" and "gay" world...and someone who has lived both "vanilla" and "kinky."

Wow that's a great post. Thanks for taking the time.

So you guys just found each other and the D/s thing just sorta happened? That's very cool.

 

[girlsmiley]

SadAngel is the chickie I was talking about. You can tell the diff between her and the posers pretty easily, huh?


SadAngel: Thanks, hon! You rock, woman!!!

Come visit us here ever now and then. You're bi so the gate gaurds will let you in. Tell Rob to join you too! You can tell him GS and I will protect him and make the homos keep their hands to themselves.

Thanks again, sweetie.

Yeah I picked up on the 'Sir'
Your mate seems like a very nice lady.

Yeah - thanks again sadangel.

 

[girlsmiley]

I am not a big fan of the dom/sub thing. It's incredibly rare and it's incredibly popular to claim it. Among the hetero crowd, I see boyfriend girlfriend dynamics where dude pouts and stomps, and gal flatters and manages him-- like the fifties all over again.

I am a REAL big fan of giving and getting strong sensations in pursuit of sexual pleasure and mutual ecstasy. And of tying people up and maybe throwing on a blindfold and then making them holler and shout for a while while I come a couple times-- and then making them holler and shout for a while while they come a couple times.

Stuff like that.

And cages, man, I LOVE cages.

You make it sound like a lot of fun!
Cages? Do you lock the person in there when they're playing up?
The box of shame...

 

[Stella_Omega]

Wow that's a great post. Thanks for taking the time.

So you guys just found each other and the D/s thing just sorta happened? That's very cool.

Rob was into it before he met sadangel-- I don't know, actually, whether she was or not... it was all very romantic though, and kinda elope-y

You make it sound like a lot of fun!
Cages? Do you lock the person in there when they're playing up?
The box of shame...

I lock them in a cage and then I poke' em through the bars while they can't get away. Or, I poke 'em until they squirm around so I can poke 'em between the legs.

It almost always ends in sex for me. That's not true for everyone in BDSM though.

And the pain thing... yeah, it's wierd, but some kinds of pain make me insanely wet. Totally crossed wires.