I'm still somewhat new to this site and this is my first visit to this particular section. But I was directed here by others in hopes of finding some understanding.
This morning, I watched 'The Story of 'O'.' My first and most natural reaction was a strong aversion to the subject matter. But to be honest, I was a tiny bit turned on. Upon realizing this, I at once felt ashamed and thought I must be sick in the head to find such a thing appealing. All sorts of reactionary, judging thoughts crossed my mind. I honestly don't understand the appeal, but I want to. I've always been taught that pain is for punishment, as a deterrent for inappropriate behavior. I don't understand how pain can be pleasing or why someone would want to hurt a person they claim to love. I have no experience with this and no this isn't a troll topic. I want to learn and understand. I just felt safe coming here to look for it. If anyone has any useful links or book suggestions, even personal experiences....it would be appreciated greatly. Thank you for reading.
This morning, I watched 'The Story of 'O'.' My first and most natural reaction was a strong aversion to the subject matter. But to be honest, I was a tiny bit turned on. Upon realizing this, I at once felt ashamed and thought I must be sick in the head to find such a thing appealing. All sorts of reactionary, judging thoughts crossed my mind. I honestly don't understand the appeal, but I want to. I've always been taught that pain is for punishment, as a deterrent for inappropriate behavior. I don't understand how pain can be pleasing or why someone would want to hurt a person they claim to love. I have no experience with this and no this isn't a troll topic. I want to learn and understand. I just felt safe coming here to look for it. If anyone has any useful links or book suggestions, even personal experiences....it would be appreciated greatly. Thank you for reading.