I am wearing a collar today... problem?

[catalina_francisco]

Okay, if it brings you peace, wear it, but also continue to focus some of that energy on your journey as the arrival at your set destination is going to be worth it.

Catalina

 

[Richard49]

Sir will most likely not collar me, and we both understand that. He lives too far away and we are not able to consummate our relationship. He knows about and is fine with me wearing the collar.. he knows I think of him when I wear it, and I remember my own submission when I wear it.


It is a reminder. It is my own symbol of submission, even if I am not submitting to someone. It is my way of remembering how it feels to submit, remembering the beauty of submission.

1) why do you not a find a Sir that is close to you or could move whatever?

2) I understand what you are saying about reminder of who/what you are. It might not be a bad idea

 

[Ms_Lilith]

1) why do you not a find a Sir that is close to you or could move whatever?

2) I understand what you are saying about reminder of who/what you are. It might not be a bad idea

1) I am in a full-time rerelationship. I love the man I'm with, and he's aware that I have found someone online to be my Sir. My boyfriend is not dominant, though he is trying to learn... and he allows me to explore with and serve Sir because he knows that I need to submit. While I submit to Sir, I also submit, in the areas that I can, to my SO. It's complicated... Sir and I were frends before we decided to begin a journey together... and he is also unavailable for a RL relationship... we work, the way we are.

2) Thank you, Richard. Some people don't understand it, and I mean no disrespect to the lifestyle or collaring.. it is just the way that I think, I suppose..

 

[zanna]

I don't wear my collar to attract attention.. I wear it because it is a reminder to ME that I am a submissive. I wear it because it makes me feel beautiful and sexy and submissive, and it makes me think of Sir. It is not his collar, and it is not the collar of any other Dom... it is MY collar, my own reminder. If Sir were ever to collar me, I would wear it with the respect you describe, but it is merely my own reminder. And yes, Sir knows of it, etc.

At the time that I began this thread, however, I was Sir-less. And I wore it for the same reasons.. it makes me feel beautiful and sexy, and it reminds me that submission is an integral part of me.

The man at work did not approach me.. he merely asked a question, and liked the response. There had been much flirting etc between he and I prior to that point, and there is still much attention given to each other. He now knows about my lifestyle, and only before he knew about Sir did he take a dominant tone with me... which made my knees weak.. but then I explained Sir and he immediately respected that.




And besides. Just because there is theory and 'dogma' as it were, on how a collar should be viewed and understood, does not mean that I will buy into it. I've spent the last 3 years of my life rejecting the dogma of the religion I was raised in... I am someone who lives my life to make ME feel comfortable and okay, and as such, I have very different understandings of some things than others do.

i read this with some interest for a few reasons. i do not wear a wedding ring. i have been married for almost 11 years now. i had a man ask me about that at the pool yesterday and thought it an odd question. i just do not think about it. i know i am married in my heart and i don't care what anyone has to say about it. i don't care what another's opinion of what the ring signifies is nor their idea that should i wish to be "proper" i should be wearing one. It does not bother Him either.

Last week, i was at lunch with my boss (who is also a friend), my Mom, and a man who is friends with them but who does not know me well at all. i wear a collar all the time, and i have a few different colors/styles, but He places them around my neck every morning. This particular day was a simple black leather one that snaps in the back with a circle silver metal ring in the front that joins the two leather strips. i see "collars" being worn like this all the time, and figure mine is vanilla enough so to speak as to not get me in trouble at work. The boss and my Mom were teasing me about my erotic stories site and i made a comment about being too naive and innocent to write something like that. It was all in teasing good fun, but i was blushing furiously over having this brought up in front of their friend. The friend of theirs was laughing at my blush, and then said anyone wearing a collar like that around their neck could not possibly be all that sweet and innocent no matter what they claimed. i thought that a very interesting comment. Later comments they made indicated they thought if anything i would be the Dominant personality. But more of a surprise to me was the automatic assumption that it was indicative of something sexual that i see worn around town all the time as a fashion accessory on vanilla women. Sure, i know what it means. But there was a certain stereotype there that surprised me. Not sure i am explaining this very well. Maybe it was one of those you had to be in the moment situations.

As for the comment above lol, just to be politically "correct", let me say that i do not pretend to know that any woman wearing a snug fitting accessory around her neck is either vanilla or BDSM oriented. i only said what i did earlier in the previous paragraph about vanilla women meaning that if every woman i saw around town with something similar around their neck *was* BDSM, this would be one hell of a fun town lol... i thought both experiences about the lack of a ring and later about the collar around my neck interesting...hope i did not put you to sleep. i am always uncomfortable with my own sense of what is interesting to me and what may be of interest to others.

While the collar serves as a reminder of who i am, *and* who i am to Him, my feeling is much the same as a wedding ring. Do i enjoy going about my day with that reminder around my neck....absolutely. But it makes me no more or less His. The bond is both with who *i* am and the relationship i share with Him. That, to me, is what is sacred. It is there no matter what is around my neck.

Bravo to you, vixen, for holding to your own ideas, and not the importance others may place on the collar in the classical sense but who you know yourself to be as a submissive.

disclaimer: The above was only my humble opinion and not directed to anyone in particular who may feel otherwise.

 

[Mr. Bootie]

Before I started my journey into bdsm.

I never thought about the collar as biend nothing more than a fashion piece. However, Yes, I do admit now that if I see one I wonder if the person is involved in bdsm.


kgboot
aka "Mr. Bootie"

 

[SilkVelvet]

Ownership symbols...

deleted

 

[Ms_Lilith]

My collar is a simple strip of black velvet. Ther are no markings or rings on it, only a clasp in the back.

I do, however have a lot of piercings.. 11, and my hair can be various colours.. but I'm told that I never look punkish, always classy.

And the only piece of jewelry that I wear that was given me by a man is my diamond ring, from my SO. And it is a symbol for many things.