I am officially trying to get pregnant!

[Volz]

Woohoo!


My Depo shot 'expired' early December. I know it can take a while to get pregnant, but I'm still soooo excited!


I'm excited to be pregnant, I'm excited to have a baby, I'm excited to watch my children grow into wonderful adults! I've already started on prenatal vitamins and on my way to quitting smoking.


But.... (of course there's a but....)




I'm scared out of my mind! What if something happens while I'm pregnant? A car accident or somesuch?

What if I'm a bad mother?!? I'm so scared of hurting my children (not intentionally of course). What if they grow up to hate me?


Boy, I never thought even this early on in the process I'd be so nervewracked!



Wish me luck!


Volz

 

[Miss Oatlash]

Just love them and they'll be fine. Nothing you can do about the other stuff.

Good luck!

 

[SweetErika]

Congratualtions, and I hope you have great success!

As for your worries, I think it's normal and healthy to have fears, but work on moderating them and not worrying about things that probably won't happen like car accidents. If something like that does happen, you'll deal with it at the time.

The best you can hope for is to do the best you can to prepare and be a good parent. You can always take classes and educate yourself on the issues to better prepare, but you have to embrace the fact that you're not going to make lots of mistakes and your kid will likely turn out just fine.

 

[Bobmi357]

I'm scared out of my mind! What if something happens while I'm pregnant? A car accident or somesuch?

What if I'm a bad mother?!? I'm so scared of hurting my children (not intentionally of course). What if they grow up to hate me?

#1
You cannot totally prevent accidents from happening. But unless you're a bad driver, or insanely clumsy, the odds of something bad happening to you are very much in your favor.

#2
Children do not come with an instruction manual. Despite the best efforts of many well meaning and misguided people, there is no manual for being a parent.

What do you have however is the experience of being brought up under your own parents. Look at yourself and consider some of the things you like and dislike about yourself. Generally speaking people raise their own kids in a way similar to how they were raised unless they want the children to turn out differently than how they turned out.

So will you turn out to be a bad mother, will your kids hate you? Probably not until they hit their teens. But teens hate everything.

 

[Cathleen]

Volz I wish you lots of luck and happiness. How wonderful for you.

As for fears - remember what you can control and what you can't - and what helps me with fear is to keep expressing them, they can lose their power over us when we talk about them.

Happy baby making to you!!

 

[T.H. Oughts]

Getting pregnant can happen the first couple of months or for myself the first took 4 years and then 3 months for the next one. Everybody is different and we all conceive at different rates.

If you are not pregnant after 6 months have a chat with your doctor.

As for being a good parent, this is no perfect parent. We all make mistakes along the way. Just use good judgment to make sure what mistakes there are, are small.

 

[Guest]

 

[Volz]

Thanks guys!

Most of the time I'm ok with all of this, it's just late at night when I'm laying in bed or when I'm at home alone, just left to my thoughts.


Thanks for all the kind words of encouragement and support.



Volz

 

[Bobmi357]

When my daughter came home from the hospital, it amazed me that she came with no instructions.

Even the toy in a happy meal comes with instructions.

I couldn't find any instructions for either of my two boys. I finally resorted to using instructions from a box of legos. Unfortunately while I can bend those kids into all sorts of interesting shapes, it didn't help much for raising them.

Now in their 20's and I'll use my mother's curse on them. "May your children do to you what you did to me!".

 

[TNRkitect2b]

just proof that somebody realizes that men never read the instructions

(or at least, that we will admit to )

 

[someplace]

Good luck with your adventure.

 

[HoldenMcCrank]

relax

and have fun. Take time to enjoy the process of making a baby. Like others have said worry about the things that you can control. As for being a good parent, from what I have seen and the little that we have talked you are a caring and compassionate person you WILL be a GREAT parent.

Good luck to you.

Holden

 

[dreamer626]

Good luck and good wishes may you have the baby that you desire

Now in their 20's and I'll use my mother's curse on them. "May your children do to you what you did to me!".

Just remember wishing that luck on your children is asking for a grandchild the same as your oun children.
My mom use to say i hope your kids are just like you now she has 2 grandkids just like me (only worse lol) and she swears she wil never say that one again lmao

 

[tomboy58]

Congrats.. and Good Hopes..

Hey Volz,
Good Luck with the getting and getting thru pregnancy.
Lots of really good advice her - so I will put in my 2-cents too.
I have a 15 yr old and 16 yr old (almost 17). and they honestly are really good and respected kids.

My advice is Love them - That is the Easy one.
And set Expectations and Stick to them!!
Teach Consequences. I tell my kids there are Consequences for Everything - Good and Bad. you make decisions and everything you do will cause consequences. and you have to be responsible for those consequences.
Responsibility is one thing I see lacking in many young people. Their parents 'handle' their 'problems' when they have them -whether financial or at school or whatever. In the long run it does the kid no favors.
Even when they are little to when they are 40. You Must set expectations and you teach them and they begin to know what is acceptable or Unacceptable behavior But the KEY is to follow thru!
I really believe though that people (whether 12 or 42) behave based on expectations. You ever seen a kid that is mouthy in one situation (say around one teacher) but then around another situation he is a completely different person. Cus' he knows that behavior Wont work there.

Another thing you will find You will get advice out the ARSE -- specially when they are little. Sometimes you just have to take it all in and then take pieces of it and do what Works for You and the Kid.

Be Flexible. Dont be afraid to admit that you were wrong - apologize to you kids, but you are still the parent
But as Bobmi says they dont come with instructions - I do make mistakes and I am doing the best I can-

Be Involved. - Know their friends,
MORE important is Know their Friends Parents and what Their standards are. Run them around to Band, Theatre, and know when they go to friends houses are the parents home etc...

Be Respectful of their feelings - but you are the parent and you do still make the rules. Be Friendly with your kids and their friends But not necessarily their Friends.


And YES sometimes... they will Hate you - But If you Explain why you say no, Be respectful and Know who they are... they will only hate you for fleeting moments and days. And as I tell mine "I am sorry - but that is part of my job. I know you dont understand now but someday you will"
cus when I hated my dad I sure didnt understand but I sure do now My dad now often just has a smirk when they do something - like have to have the last word or debate why they should be allowed to go...

You will be fine....
It is a VERY HARD AND REWARDING...!! JOURNEY

 

[tomboy58]

One more note...

Bobmi - I just love the Lego instruction idea, wish I would have thought of using that many moons ago. hehee

Along the lines of Cathleens good advice on fears. Put the Serenity Prayer somewhere and read it everyday.
Dont Sweat the small stuff and
Dont forget what is important
When you toddler knocks over you plant and spills dirt all in your carpet - remember - he didnt mean too.. and his little self esteem is very tender.

It really is a Rewarding and Wonderful and Heartbreaking (in hard ways and Good ways) Journey http://open-mind.org/Serenity.htm

 

[Bobmi357]

Volz,
I think its time you gave us an update. Be sure to include diagrams, charts and photographs!

 

[Volz]

Volz,
I think its time you gave us an update. Be sure to include diagrams, charts and photographs!

LOL, still trying.

To be honest, it's probably gonna take a while. I was on the Depo shot for 7 years and just quit in December.


My husband isn't as enthusiastic as I am (he won't get excited until we're acutally pregnant) but I'm having one hell of a time just trying!

 

[JarlsAxe]

Practice, practice, practice....LOL

But seriously, relaxe, just let it happen, generaly that works the best, folks get stressed out "trying"

 

[Avery_Chisholm]

LOL, still trying.

To be honest, it's probably gonna take a while. I was on the Depo shot for 7 years and just quit in December.


My husband isn't as enthusiastic as I am (he won't get excited until we're acutally pregnant) but I'm having one hell of a time just trying!

Congrads and all the best, often ppl forget how fun trying can be

 

[INeedLove]

I notice the time frame on this thread-any success??

If you aren't pregnant since January, I strongly recommend you begin investigating a reproductive endocrinologist(RE). Those docs are in the business of understanding your hormones and reproductive system. They do lots of tests on both you and your hubbie and then start a course of action if there is a problem. I tried to get pg for a couple of years and then tried a RE, I was pg in three months. I needed meds to help.

Also-I relied on www.fertilethoughts.com for lots of support from the "trying to get pg" to being pg and then parenting. There is a lot of really good advice and experience there!!

Best wishes-please update us? Or feel free to email me. I would be very happy to help support you!! Smiles!