I am in a bad mood so don't fuck with me today.

[sch00lteacher]

1st my dumb assed dog breaks away from me to chase a damed cat. Damn near kills me (remember I am broke, using a cane and that sort of crap).

Then I come in, after chasing the damned dog down, and find out my coffee pot isn't working. No coffee.

For 26 years now I have started everyday off with at least one cup of coffee.

I can't drive, so I can't run up to the nearest gas station and buy a cup.

I drank a coke, but that isn't going to cut it.

So until I get some coffee leave me alone. Don't talk to me, don't touch me, don't piss me off!

 

[christophe]

( )o ( )o


Backs away slowly

 

[Marxist]

Kill the dog. Drink its blood. The dog broke the coffee maker.

 

[Guest]

Sorry to hear the day is starting off bad. <Hugs.>

 

[christophe]

Kill the dog. Drink its blood. The dog broke the coffee maker.

Do you take cream or sugar with your blood?

 

[Starfish]

Schoolteacher...
I can help you with the coffee bit.....


I know how to rough it well.

Is it a Mr. Coffee, or what?

If so and the basket that you put your filter in has a little thingy that presses in to let the water flow through, you are all set.

Put a filter in, and also the coffee.

Put the filter basket sitting ontop of a recepticle of sorts that is roughly the diameter of the basket, or less, to hold it in place, and slowly pour in the water. Okay, so let it sit for a few with a plate overtop to brew, and then when it's been like 5 minutes push in the lever and let it drain into the recepticle.

If you need it to be richer, pour the coffee back into the boilling pot, and then back into the filter.

It is better than nothing.

If you don't have that kind of pot, you can always brew the coffee in the boiling water pot, and then rubber band a filter over your cup, with a bit of sag in the middle, and then pour it in from there.

Good luck. If I were there I'd be more than happy to pamper you and make you some. Sorry.

 

[sch00lteacher]

If I were there I'd be more than happy to pamper you and make you some. Sorry.

Thanks, that does make me feel better. What I think I will do is go into my bedroom, make a little 'noise' and wake the wife up. Then mention that the pot is broke and poor baby doesn't have any coffee. Five will get you ten that she will go back to sleep. But there is the chance she will wake up, go buy me a cup, and a Sunday paper.

God I can't wait until I can drive myself again. Not being able to simply get into the jeep and go where I want is the worst part of the whole thing.

I think we have some (gag) instant coffee somewhere in the kitchen. Gonna go look.

See y'all later.

 

[Guest]

sch00lteacher,

There is a cup of coffee waiting for you in the Good Morning thread.

Starfish did have a very good idea - I think you should try it.

My hats off to you, Starfish, you came through in a time of crisis, when a man was so desperate that he'd go in and wake up his poor sleeping wife....LOL

Good morning, All, and Happy Sunday.

Enchanted

 

[tonytuna1957]

sch00lteacher - Starfish

The art of coffee making has been lost in the advent of the coffee brewer........Good Advise Starfish.................A day with out coffee is like a day with out sunshine......well maybe if your a duck hunter the day without sunshine is ok too......



The Tunamaster

 

[Marxist]

sch00lteacher,

There is a cup of coffee waiting for you in the Good Morning thread.

Starfish did have a very good idea - I think you should try it.

My hats off to you, Starfish, you came through in a time of crisis, when a man was so desperate that he'd go in and wake up his poor sleeping wife....LOL

Good morning, All, and Happy Sunday.

Enchanted

Dog blood is highly nutritious AND caffeinated. It's true. Todd told me. And Cheyenne backed him up.

 

[KillerMuffin]

*takes a swig of Mountain Dew*

Thank Gawd I'm not addicted to that shit.

 

[Problem Child]

ST- if you're going to lose it this bad when you don't have your java, I would suggest you invest in a jar of Folger's instant crystals and keep it stored in a safe place.

 

[PHANTOM5875]

Enchanted. Happy Sunday to YOU, too!

ST, hope wifey feels sympathy (thank God they usually do!) and goes out for the fresh hot coffee and paper. Maybe she will swing by and pick up an early Xmas present (new coffee pot and LOTS of your favorite java)

Get well soon.

Phantom

 

[ksmybuttons]

Coffee, NOW!

Starfishes idea will work fine.

NEVER, however pour the brewed coffee back through the grounds.

I use this method every day at work. I, however, have a glass cone that sits on top of my coffee cup.

Take a white papertowel and fold it in quarters. Open one of the corners up to form a cone. Place this in your funnel.

1 tbsp of fresh ground coffee (My fav is a dark roast- french, expresso, viennese - the roaster is local)- for every six ounces of water into the bottom of the cone.

Put the water in your stainless steel tea kettle, put in on the burner until it starts to make that low rumble of the tiny bubbles beginning to pop. DO NOT let the water boil.

After placing the funnel over your favorite warmed coffee mug, pour a little water in to just moisten the grounds. After that water has run through, fill the cone being careful to not let it go over the edge. Let it drain through the filter and pour more water through until you have your filled cup.

DO NOT reuse the papertowel cone and old grounds.
Savour the scent of the coffee as you make it.,

Now that is an erotic story.

Your problem to begin with is having a coffeemaker. Ask for a French Press for Christmas.
They don't break.
The coffee is great.
Never wake the wife...

 

[freakygirl]

hey Teach.. Hope your day is better.. and I hope you finally got that cup of coffee..

Now, for some advice.. .. a camping coffee pot... nothing makes coffee better.. I have one of these (well a few of them). Just incase the electricity goes out. I can make coffee on the bbqer.. or on an open fire if needed .

 

[ksmybuttons]

Now, for some advice.. .. a camping coffee pot... nothing makes coffee better.. I have one of these (well a few of them). Just incase the electricity goes out. I can make coffee on the bbqer.. or on an open fire if needed .

BOILED Coffee?!! Never past these lips!

 

[Marxist]

OK, If you think my dog's blood idea is bad, then try this:

Take a dozen clean syringes, load them up with coffee that's been brewed and stewed for at least a week (this shit needs to be strong), store them up in your ice box for emergencies like today.

When shit like this happens, voila! Simply inject one of the vials into your wife's ass and you can ride her to the store--piggyback style for a cup of fresh brewed java. That AACS has got nothin' on me.....

 

[Todd]

Dog blood is highly nutritious AND caffeinated. It's true. Todd told me. And Cheyenne backed him up.

Could you point me to such thread I said such advice?

 

[Marxist]

Could you point me to such thread I said such advice?

(shut up man, dude's not had coffee all day, he could go off at any moment, work with me on this.....)

 

[sch00lteacher]

Relief

Ha, I have proved the time worn fact that if you cuss and hit something loud enough and hard enough, it will work again.

I didn't even need duct tape.

Thank you for all the help. I will keep the dog blood idea in mind. Should the need arise again to chase him around the neighborhood (picture this, using a cane, wearing only a huge terri cloth bathrobe, cursing loudly, I am lucky the dudes in the white coat didn't drop by for a visit).

Thanks all for the concern.

 

[scylis]

Re: Relief

Ha, I have proved the time worn fact that if you cuss and hit something loud enough and hard enough, it will work again.

I didn't even need duct tape.

shit, man! at least put a strip of it on there for appearance sake!!

i mean, if you fixed something w/o using duct tape, eventually people will think you're actually GOOD at repairing stuff, so then they'll take all their broken stuff to you to be fixed! now who has that kind of time...and patience? you'll be so busy with their porjects that you can't do any of your own!

just save yourself the time and the trouble, and go and put that strip or two of the handy man's secret weapon on there, then things'll be right as rain!

 

[sch00lteacher]

Re: Re: Relief

just save yourself the time and the trouble, and go and put that strip or two of the handy man's secret weapon on there, then things'll be right as rain!

You know, it didn't feel right. I think the problem was that the coffee maker is black, and all I had was black duct tape. Maybe I can run to wally world today (walmart duh) and get some red or grey.

I probably won't be able to sleep now until I rectify the situation.

Thanks for the heads up.

 

[morninggirl5]

It might be a good idea to buy a back-up coffee maker while you're at WallyWorld. To prevent further emergencies from happening.

 

[LukkyKnight]

1st my dumb assed dog...
Then I...
For 26 years now I...
Don't talk to me, don't touch me, don't piss me off!

You, sir, have what's known in the business as, "Shuffling Madness." It need not be terminal, but watch your tempo and your private parts until it passes.

So far as I know, once you reach this stage the cure must include classic Tull at concert volume.

 

[Guest]

does this mean you're back in the "fuckin" mood?

may I be next?