Hypothetical question.

[HockeyShark]

Well, it probably wouldnt be the first time i'd get my ass kicked for trying to help someone. I'd stand up for the person and rip the little shits a bigger asshole.

 

[Quint]

.............

 

[fieryjen]

I'm so sorry that happened to you.

I've been in situations, as a victim and as a bystander, where I did freeze up. And I beat myself up over it for a long time after, wondering why the hell I didn't just defend myself, or the other person, why the hell I didn't just say something. But I've also been in situations where I didn't freeze up. And if that situation had been one of them, I probably would have broken my own record of swearwords per minute.

It's tough. Please don't let it get you down. The freezing up happens in both roles, although I can't quite fathom it happening to all the bystanders at once. Just standing there and being mute by choice is definitely completely assholish.

And I'm in love with your AV. Just for the record.

ETA: I just looked at your pics. Damn you're hot. Seriously... I don't understand the minds of those guys. Even less now. Completely confused as to what went on in their tiny heads.

 

[LittleJade]

Thanks, guys... I'm still wound up about it. I believe I'll report it to the police...

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

Say you're wandering down the sidewalk of a busy downtown street on a sunny fall day... say you end up right outside a Starbucks...

and say you see a fat woman walk out of a burger joint, carrying her lunch... say this fat girl gets surrounded by five young men, aged 18-20, who start taunting her, saying such things like:

"Oh my god guys, look at that Fat Cow!"

and

"Look at that! How do they let women that fat and ugly out of the house. That should be illegal. And look! She's eating a relative for lunch!"

Say these men have surrounded her. Say she's near tears, and the sidewalk is crowded with other people, who are witnessing this, as the young men surrounding her are purposely making a scene.


What would you do?

It's not so hypothetical to me. My mother was large and I argued and fought many times to defend her. I would do the same for anybody else. There are just some things you don't do to people. Judging them based on size, color, or sexual orientation is a sure fired way to piss me off and get me involved. Just saying.

 

[reignophelia]

(((((((((((HUGS JADE!!!)))))))))))))

I would have definitely stepped in. I'm so sorry that this happened to you. (Wouldn't be the first time I've stepped in on a situation like that, and I don't think it'll be the last unfortunately.)

 

[marieR19]

First things first: *hugs you lots and lots and lots*

I would most likely end up yelling at them, telling them to mind their own damn business and if they didn't I would call the cops, then doing whatever I could to comfort the lady. Because it could so easily be me in that position.

And let me tell you, that is what I would LET myself do. If I wasn't concerned of consequences, they would all probably get bloody faces at the very least. *tries not to rant about it*

It realllllly makes me lose even more faith in humanity when I hear stuff like this... Do people have nothing better to do? Did these guys feel that pointing out something about someone else would somehow make them the bigger/better person? 'Cause I just can't even being to understand the thinking/rationale behind that kind of behavior.



Heather

 

[LittleJade]

Thank you all for your posts, your concern, and the really nice things you said about me.

I dyed my hair last night. Dyeing my hair is akin to shopping therapy, for me.

I feel better.

I'm off- today we're moving furniture from my dad's house to mine... talk about a pain in the ass operation. Gah.

 

[Homburg]

This angers me deeply. I've already told you my feelings privately, sweetheart, but believe me when I say that I would not have walked past.

The 5 jackasses that did thise were cowards and villains, but the people that stood by and did nothing are the ones that should be deeply ashamed of themselves.

The day that I broke my bed, I was in a shit mood. Went to Lowes and bought a bunch of hardware to fix the bed, still pissed. I came out, and sitting on the curb next to my carb was a young woman who looked on the verge of tears. I asked her if she was okay, and we talked for a few minutes. It turned out her twin boys (about a year old, and in the car next to mine) had been crying for a while and she was just feeling a bit frayed. We stood there for a few minutes chatting about parenting and such, and, by the time we parted, she was smiling and laughing. I was too, with my bad mood gone (until I got home and found that I could not fix the bed). To be frank, she helped me feel better as much as I did for her.

Makes me wonder what is wrong with the world when nobody says anything in situations like this.

 

[somberReality]

Say you're wandering down the sidewalk of a busy downtown street on a sunny fall day... say you end up right outside a Starbucks...

and say you see a fat woman walk out of a burger joint, carrying her lunch... say this fat girl gets surrounded by five young men, aged 18-20, who start taunting her, saying such things like:

"Oh my god guys, look at that Fat Cow!"

and

"Look at that! How do they let women that fat and ugly out of the house. That should be illegal. And look! She's eating a relative for lunch!"

Say these men have surrounded her. Say she's near tears, and the sidewalk is crowded with other people, who are witnessing this, as the young men surrounding her are purposely making a scene.


What would you do?

OMG, that's horrible. I'd have to say something, if not to the assholes, I'd certainly try to make the taunted person feel better.

 

[northwoods_sub]

I am not a big woman by any means, stature or weight wise, but that has never stopped me from going in and rescuing someone who I felt was in a bad situation.
I am so sorry that this happened to you. You are an absolutely gorgeous woman. These spineless dickwads just don't know true beauty when they see it.

 

[Recidiva]

I remember there's no cure for stupid and cruel.

There's only prevention so I don't catch it.

I try not to touch or talk to people like that. It's like seeing someone with the plague. Probably better to just move away to a safe distance and be glad you're not them.

I used to think beating them up or confronting them could help. If I have a quick response, sure, say it. But don't touch.

If they touch you, though. Well, kill 'em. Free mayhem.

ETA: So that might work. "Guys, I'm working on losing weight, but there's no cure for stupid or cruel. You should make up a ribbon out of barbed wire or something. I'd support the cause. Find a cure."

 

[catalina_francisco]

It's not that surprising no-one stepped in. There has been plenty of research done which shows that in a crwoded situation, you are less likely to get help if being attacked etc., than when there might be only one other person around, who will step in. Theory is that most people think and wait for someone else to take on the responsibility when there are plenty around....when there is no-one else, many people will jump in without a second thought. Add to that the amount of violent crimes where those who have been close by or stepped into such a situation end up with a knife in them or shot, and most people think twice and three times these days. It is sad, but also a sign of what happens with increased population and more crowded living.

Hope you are feeling better now, and perhaps carrying one of those personal alarms might be an idea incase of any further problems. I would definately report it given it was a public place...chances are there was a security camera somewhere which recorded it and could identify who they were.

Catalina

 

[the captians wench]

I told them to fuck off, but I'm disappointed in myself. I always thought I was a stronger person than I showed today... I've about six things going on right now that are killer stresses, and it's been affecting my confidence and whatnot... and this was just the last straw... add to that being outnumbered and overpowered, and I just fucking cowered.

I suck.

sweetie it happens.

as much as I fight it, for what ever reason, I'm a lot stronger than I like to believe I am, but there are some days when it's just too much. Because of the job I work in, I've been cursed at, had food thrown at me, spit at, yelled at constantly, called names, and so on, but some times it just builds up to the point where I can't take it, and I loose it. I end up in the bathroom or in the office balling my eyes out because it's just too much. Oh then my supervisor yells at me because as a salary manager I should be stronger than that and I have to hold it together for the crew.

As much as I'd like to say that I would have told them off, deep down I know I wouldn't have. I would have slunk back and let them make me feel like shit. I too would have looked out for help, and would have been disapointed that no one came to my rescue. I would have cursed the people watching, and myself for not standing up to such bullies. And then I would have came here and called some friends looking for support and reasurance.

Unfortunitly there are a lot of assholes in the world, and some times they catch us at just the right moment. It's okay to feel down and upset about this, as long as you rebuild and don't let the down time take you over.

 

[FurryFury]

*HUGS and HUGS*

I'm so sorry that happened.

Most of the time I can't say just what I wouldn't or wouldn't do until I'm in a situation. Sometimes I freeze up or just finesse it out of my mind and get away. Other times I confront.

You shouldn't feel bad if you don't feel like in hindsight you handled it perfectly. That's a high level of stress. Five guys is a lot! That's also probably why no one did anything. They were probably as scared and shocked as you were. That doesn't mean they agreed with those assholes.

 

[LittleJade]

I'm feeling better today... I dyed my hair last night, and saw the couple my honey and I had a weekend with, today... they both loved the hair, and my sweetie thinks it's gorgeous..

I did report it to the police, there wasn't a camera in the vicinity that caught it. But at least they know that if they hear of anything similar, it's a second offense.

 

[EmpressFi]

Say you're wandering down the sidewalk of a busy downtown street on a sunny fall day... say you end up right outside a Starbucks...

and say you see a fat woman walk out of a burger joint, carrying her lunch... say this fat girl gets surrounded by five young men, aged 18-20, who start taunting her, saying such things like:

"Oh my god guys, look at that Fat Cow!"

and

"Look at that! How do they let women that fat and ugly out of the house. That should be illegal. And look! She's eating a relative for lunch!"

Say these men have surrounded her. Say she's near tears, and the sidewalk is crowded with other people, who are witnessing this, as the young men surrounding her are purposely making a scene.


What would you do?

Honestly, my first though.. my very first thought was.. "I'd take my burger and go back inside the burger joint"

Then I thought, I'd probably cry first, then come over to them and tell them to knock it off. And when they continued... as some males of that age are want to do.. I would start picking out their flaws.. vocally and loudly, everything from their greasy hair, to the gap in their teeth, and their tiny, inept penises.

but that's just me..

 

[h_i_s]

I'd say something.
I don't tolerate stuff like that, or look the other way hoping someone else will step up.
When bystanders sit back and don't help thier fellow man (or woman) when faced by bullies, to me, it can be viewed as condoning the behavior of the bullies.
I've seen examples during which bystanders said nothing and did nothing and it infuriates me as much as the behavior of the bullies.

P.S. I read the OP and then replied without reading any of the replies.
Sorry that this happened to you Jade. They got away with it for now. Karma can be one hell of a bitch though. They'll get thier's.

 

[FurryFury]

I'm feeling better today... I dyed my hair last night, and saw the couple my honey and I had a weekend with, today... they both loved the hair, and my sweetie thinks it's gorgeous..

I did report it to the police, there wasn't a camera in the vicinity that caught it. But at least they know that if they hear of anything similar, it's a second offense.

Good for you.

Personally I think you are gorgeous and smart.

*HUG*

 

[LittleJade]

Good for you.

Personally I think you are gorgeous and smart.

*HUG*

*smile* Thank you.

 

[h_i_s]

*smile* Thank you.

.. and if that av is representative of your new hair color....... very HOT. Looks great on you.

 

[LittleJade]

.. and if that av is representative of your new hair color....... very HOT. Looks great on you.

It is- this is the colour I did last night.

It's such a deep red that it's black- when the sun hits it, though, it shines burgundy.


And thank you! I like it.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Those immature morons obviously didn't understand that beautiful and sexy are, in the end, defined not by body size or shape, but by the mind and heart contained within. My second wife was 5'8" and 130-135 pounds; my third was 5'8" and ranged from 250-280. Both were, in and of themselves, beautiful and sexy, and I adored each of them for their own individuality and qualities. Perhaps -- in a just world -- those idiots will someday grow up enough to realize this, and somehow remember that day, and be heartily -- and deservedly -- ashamed of themselves.

As for you, please remember that you are not responsible for their stupidity, immaturity and lack of human understanding. And stop saying, "I suck" and making it sound like a bad thing!

 

[LittleJade]

Those immature morons obviously didn't understand that beautiful and sexy are, in the end, defined not by body size or shape, but by the mind and heart contained within. My second wife was 5'8" and 130-135 pounds; my third was 5'8" and ranged from 250-280. Both were, in and of themselves, beautiful and sexy, and I adored each of them for their own individuality and qualities. Perhaps -- in a just world -- those idiots will someday grow up enough to realize this, and somehow remember that day, and be heartily -- and deservedly -- ashamed of themselves.

As for you, please remember that you are not responsible for their stupidity, immaturity and lack of human understanding. And stop saying, "I suck" and making it sound like a bad thing!

*smile*

I do suck incredibly well.

 

[Luvkitty33]

I'm feeling better today... I dyed my hair last night, and saw the couple my honey and I had a weekend with, today... they both loved the hair, and my sweetie thinks it's gorgeous..

I did report it to the police, there wasn't a camera in the vicinity that caught it. But at least they know that if they hear of anything similar, it's a second offense.

I LOVE your new hair color!! I think you look beautiful no matter what color your hair is, though! I'm glad to hear that you're feeling better today.