Hygiene problems

[*Eve*]

How do you approach a grown person, to let them know that hey "you stink" in the nicest way possible?
I have a co-worker who apparently hasn't heard of the power of soap, deordoant, and toothpaste. I guess you would think at a certain age they would know better. I would like to tell her, she doesn't smell to great because people at work are talking behind her back and I really hate that. She's a nice person, but the hygiene can be better. I guess I have never had the guts to tell her myself because, how can you let someone know that without hurting their feelings? I don't know her home situation and why she doesn't take care of herself, but in telling her, it could be an embarrasing situation for us both.
Does anyone have any advice or have been in a similar situation with a friend or co-worker?

 

[forgetunome]

Just a thought

Is her birthday coming up? Maybe you can buy her a small gift basket with fragrant soaps, loofas (sp?) etc.

Or if everyone in the office agrees give a fake reward for "a job well done" appreciation gift and get her the gift basket as the reward?

 

[Cheyenne]

I think this is a classic "Dear Abby" letter. I believe the answer is that you shouldn't put a deodorant or toothbrush on her desk for her to find. That is cruel. You are supposed to pull her aside and tell her face to face that you've noticed she could use a little help. Maybe more frequent bathing, washing of clothes, etc. The idea is that it will be embarassing, but better to hear it from someone who cares to help you than to not hear it at all.

In real life? I've only had this happen once. Luckily, it was a temporary person in our office. I had several people come to me to complain that they could smell her even after she'd left the room if they walked in after her. I called the temp agency and told them not to send her back to us, even though she was doing a good job. I also told the temp agency why we didn't want her back, so that the manager there could tell the woman what was wrong. No use sending her to another job to have the same thing happen over and over. But I was VERY glad to not be the one to have to tell the woman in person that she stunk.

 

[OUTSIDER]

Ok a couple of year's ago I went to night college and one of the women there had a simular problem and what happened was that one of the other girl's in the class wrote her a very sympathetic letter and left it where she would get it, now I'm not saying this how you should handle it but this is one option, I don't envy you your situation but I hope you find a happy resolution.

 

[Nicole]

I agree with OUTSIDER on this one.

*Eve* sweetie, maybe you could type out a letter and leave it somewhere that only she will find it. I know it's not a nice way to do it but, it gets the embarrassment level down for both of you. I say type because then you don't have the worry of the hand writing, which lets face it can be very distinct.

My sister once worked with a woman that had a hygiene problem, oh she showered and used deodorant but, well she didn't seem to know how to wash her Ummm Private parts, and the smell was overpowering. After about 4 weeks of girls Bitching behind her back my sister took her to one side and told her the problem. The problem was fixed and they still remain friends to this day.

*Eve* I hope you find a way to help out, Good Luck Let us know what you decide

 

[R Nitelight]

Is clothespin on the nose too subtle?

 

[Lasher]

Eve,

I was actually confronted with this situation as a supervisor a few years ago. A guy on my crew had the same hygiene problem that you described above, plus he was working in a situation where he was exposed to the public, and as a requirement of the job was required to where a clean, pressed white shirt. On most days his shirt was neither clean or pressed, and his personal hygiene was definitely suspect.

There is no nice way to approach someone about this, but the solutions you've seen above (leaving a letter, or a hint or whatever) will do nothing but hurt the person in question and cause resentment towards all his/her co-workers. It's something that needs to be done one on one in a very private setting, and needs to be done with as much tact and compassion as you can muster.

In my own situation, I was able to come at it in sort of roundabout way, first asking if there was a situation at home that was making his performance of his job more difficult. When I got an ambivalent response to that question, I then explained that we were concerned for him, that he had been showing up for work improperly dressed and that on occasion it had appeared that he had been unable to shower before coming to work. I explained that we were thinking that maybe there was a situation at home that was causing him to not get out of bed early enough to shower, or that there might be the reason he was unable to wash and press his shirt as often as he should.

As it did turn out, there was a situation in his personal life that was making it difficult to do what seem like really basic things to most of us. And by showing concern and offering to help in any way we could, we were able to alleviate the situation, and we avoided alienating him and causing any undue resentment towards us as management or with his co-workers. More importantly for us, he actually became one of the stronger workers on our crew.

Hope this helps, Eve. Good Luck.

 

[Sammyjo]

Might her problem be glandular? I know a woman who has extreme body odor, she bathes or showers daily. She uses perfumes, lotions, powders...the smell is still there. This woman is someone very close to me. I know she knows there is a problem, but she has yet to seek medical intervention for it. I know certain illnesses can cause an odor, such as diabetes (given her obesity, it is highly likely she has this disease), STD's (doubtful, she's been married and faithful to the same man for 28 years), and obesity itself can be a culprit.

I don't know if there is any tactful way to approach this. It's hard to know how a person will react to something this personal. I do like the idea of the gift basket.

What ever you decide...good luck!!!

 

[BeautyBabe]

I don't know what your work situation is, so I don't know if this will work.

When I was at college, someone had a problem with personal hygiene - and we all knew who it was - the teacher reminded us all about its importance. That way, the message was put across without the embarassment of telling someone face-to-face.

 

[*Eve*]

Thanks for the advice everyone. From what I gather, I think maybe the best way to handle this would be to approach my supervisor. I am lucky in that my supervisor is someone who does actually care about the well being of her staff and perhaps if it came from her this person would appreciate and heed that advise more than if it just came from me. Thanks again.