Hurtful things people say

[Calamity Jane]

What are things people say to you that they don't know hurt, or that they think are funny? And how do you explain WHY the words hurt?

"I should have known I'd never get the trailer park out of you"

"You can take the girl out of the trailer park, but you can't take the trailer park out of the girl"

"You're too smart to be sexy"

"You're acting like a guy again" (usually when i'm speaking my mind about something)

 

[Angel]

Don't let it bother you. I always take shit like that as a compliment.

I always get the whole -

"You can take the girl out of the ghetto, but you can't take the ghetto out of the girl"

Hey good. I don't ever want to forget my roots. And you know what? I still love it there. Don't knock it 'cause you're too scared, yano? Ghetto trash jokes tend to not bother me. Ghetto ignorance pisses me off.

Fuck em,

And being smart IS sexy - it's the brains that intimidate them though.

 

[Guest]

Emerson said, " Use what language you will, you can never say anything but what you are."

The bearers of those hurtful words, merely define themselves.

I'm sorry if someone's words hurt you.

 

[Calamity Jane]

Hey good. I don't ever want to forget my roots. And you know what? I still love it there. Don't knock it 'cause you're too scared, yano? Ghetto trash jokes tend to not bother me. Ghetto ignorance pisses me off.

If I say it, like in another post I said something about being po white trash... then it's ok. But when it's said in that condescending manner. As if because I was raised in a certain situation than I'm somehow less valid as a person... that's where the hurt comes in. Especially when the person saying it is supposed to love you.

 

[Angel]

If I say it, like in another post I said something about being po white trash... then it's ok. But when it's said in that condescending manner. As if because I was raised in a certain situation than I'm somehow less valid as a person... that's where the hurt comes in. Especially when the person saying it is supposed to love you.

Exactly.

 

[login]

"You're too smart to be sexy"

That may be the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Intelligence is the sexiest asset a woman can have. That phrase says a lot more about the speaker's insecurities than it does about it's target.

Some men are 'ass' men, some are 'breast' men. I'm a 'brain' man, and there are a lot more of us than most people think. We just keep it quiet to cut down on the competition.

 

[Renegade]

And being smart IS sexy - it's the brains that intimidate them though.

Damn right.

 

[xwizard4]

Ditto. Smart is sexy.

Don't let it bother you. I always take shit like that as a compliment.

I've received lots of compliments since I started posting here.

 

[Natalie Nessus]

"You're acting like a guy again"

Do people actually say that? Extraordinaire!

Is it men or women who say it?

 

[Calamity Jane]

Do people actually say that? Extraordinaire!

Is it men or women who say it?

Men. Specifically one man. All of those that I posted can be attributed to my husband.

 

[Natalie Nessus]

Men. Specifically one man. All of those that I posted can be attributed to my husband.

I am so sorry.C'est triste.

 

[GuyJD]

What are things people say to you that they don't know hurt, or that they think are funny? And how do you explain WHY the words hurt?

"I should have known I'd never get the trailer park out of you"

"You can take the girl out of the trailer park, but you can't take the trailer park out of the girl"

"You're too smart to be sexy"

"You're acting like a guy again" (usually when i'm speaking my mind about something)

I'm sorry that someone would use such hurtful and hateful words towards you. And I can honestly tell you that I went through the same thing with my (soon to be) ex-wife.

But yet, when I left she practically pleaded for me to come back.

 

[Natalie Nessus]

But yet, when I left she practically pleaded for me to come back.

Did you?

 

[YogiBare]

Smart IS Sexy

"You're too smart to be sexy"

Anyone with half a brain knows that the most important sexual organ we have is not between the legs, but between the ears!

When a guy tells a smart woman that she's too smart to be sexy he's really complaining about something else. She's smart enough to call him on his shit and he doesn't like it.

Yogi

 

[cymbidia]

"Your sister sure is pretty."

This one still makes me wince even though no one has said that to me in a very long time - and not cuz i got gorgeous or she got ugly but because as adults we don't live anywhere near each other - and even if we did, we wouldn't have the same friends. However, even into her 40's, my sister is still really beautiful. (But i'm way smarter... and i'm no dog, either.)


Pagancowgirl? If they think you can't be sexy *and* smart, then just let them keep on looking for dumb 'n sexy. You're better off without someone who thinks such a thing, aren't you? Just laugh at 'em and move on.

Men who admire you for your brain as well as your other attributes are all over the place. You don't have to settle for one who feels threatened by the possibility of your gray matter working better than his. Toss him back in that case; he's too little to keep.

 

[koalabear]

I'm not eating that!!!!! It stinks!!!!!!......Running from the thread.

 

[riff]

People don't say things that hurt me

I hear things that I allow to hurt me. I know this sounds very "passe" (sp?), but it is so very true.

When you talk to me, I listen (most of the time), and what you say, I repeat internally and fill the hollow of your words with me.

Words ARE hollow. Sign and significance. The world as Rorsacht inkblot. Words are the vessel that we fill with meaning.

"So what are holes for?
To fill, to fill, to fill..."

When I hurt (which usually turns to anger rather quickly) I have to remember to ask myself "What is it about me that makes me respond this way?"

Often times people say things that cut us deeply and they have no idea.... They didn't mean it, though it is worthwhile to note that sometimes they did mean it.

I guess what I am saying is that we all must accept that we are responsible for our own feelings. Again, it is so "passe" (that damned word again), but each of us decides to become a victim when we want to become a victim. (Note: "the truth will set you free, but it might piss you off first.")

 

[lobito]

ANYTHING racist, always get's to me. People who know it bothers me and still do it, SUCK!

On the other hand, I don't mind hearing my wife tell me "You sure do have a pretty mouth", though it kind of reminds me of the movie Deliverence, and makes me wince every so often.

koalabear, you're talking about brussle sprouts aren't ya?

R

 

[Mischka]

Not exactly hurtful, but this one pisses me off royally:

You have balls!

Intended as a compliment, but I hate it just the same. I am a woman, and I don't need to honorary male organs to highlight my ambition, assertiveness, or any other trait. I wrote a rant about it during my early days here that turned into a whole thread.

 

[Shelby]

I hear over and over..."you used to have it all" I chose a different path, am at the top of the new field that I chose; but as it isn't money & stocks any longer, my friends think I am to be pitied. ( I fucking hate "you used to...)

I know better, and actually pity a lot of them: they are miserable, I'm not.

Happy dance...

Often, the greatest revenge is happiness.

 

[RisiaSkye]

My personal favorite...

...which I've heard in many forms: "Nobody would call you white trash once they got to know you. You're so articulate (or smart, or something similar)." Oh, yeah. I forgot. Poor people are stupid.

Sounds just like the racist comments everybody hates, doesn't it?

Although I also loved "Nobody will know where you came from if you don't tell them." Right, I forgot again. I should be ashamed of where I came from, and hide it at all costs. Otherwise, the nice middle class people who were kind enough to accept me might know the real me, and get scared.

When I was debating, I used to hear different versions of "You're so pretty, I didn't expect you to be smart."
Oh, yeah. Pretty is the same as dumb. I got my national standing based entirely on my looks. Thanks for reminding me.

Then again, just the name "white trash" or "trailer trash" is insulting. Yeah, that's right. We're disposable. And you have the right to judge us, and to mark our bodies as available for abuse (trash) because of where we live.

 

[ohiobbw]

I hear this all the time from my parents
"You would be pretty, if you would only lose weight"

 

[ohiobbw]

opps, double post!

 

[Cntrycop]

GRR

You are just an ignorant Redneck

GRRR god that pisses me off to no end...
I may have a hankering for things country but god help you if you think i am stupid because of it... and because i have a "country twang" again, dont assume im an idiot.. i am fluent in 3 languages, can understand basics of 4 more..., i am a marine biology major, with a minor in administration of justice, (law enforcement is my true love) i can be sophisticated when i want to be, but i prefer to let people draw the wrong conclusions and put their feet in their collective mouths.

BTW Pagan i think you know my opinion of the individual in question in your post so i wont state it... suffice it to say that if he cant appreciate the beautiful woman he has then he is a FUCKING IDIOT. Anyway thats all from Rant boy here...

Cntrycop
"Freedom is not free, it is paid for with the blood of those who came before us"

 

[Dan13]

Well, any self-esteem I ever had has been damaged over time so that now, nothing anybody says hurts me anymore.