Humor Thread
- Thread starter DG Hear
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redpaint
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A newcomer to the political scene was campaigning in Amish country for the office of assemblyman. Outside an Amish homestead, he saw a young man milking a cow. He approached the man, ready to make his pitch for a vote.
Just as he was getting started, an old man called from inside the house. "Luke, get in the house. And who is that guy you're talking to?"
"Says he's a politician, Pop," Luke said.
"In that case, you'd better bring the cow inside with you."
Just as he was getting started, an old man called from inside the house. "Luke, get in the house. And who is that guy you're talking to?"
"Says he's a politician, Pop," Luke said.
"In that case, you'd better bring the cow inside with you."
redpaint
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At a party, the hostess served a politician a cup of punch and told him it was spiked. Next, she served some to a minister. "I would rather commit adultery than allow liquor to pass my lips," she proclaimed.
Overhearing this, the politician poured his punch back and said, "I didn't know we had a choice."
Overhearing this, the politician poured his punch back and said, "I didn't know we had a choice."
redpaint
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A salesman was traveling between towns and got a flat tire in the middle of nowhere. Checking the spare, he found that it was flat, too. His only option was to flag down a passing motorist and get a ride to the nearest town.
The first vehicle to stop was an old man in a pickup truck. He yelled out the window to the salesman, "Need a lift?"
"Yes, I do," replied the salesman.
"You a Democrat or Republican?" asked the old man.
"A Republican," replied the salesman.
"Get screwed!" yelled the old man as he sped off.
The next to stop rolled down the window and asked the same question, to which the salesman gave the same answer "Republican." The driver gave him the finger and drove off.
The salesman thought it over, and decided that maybe he should change his approach, since there appeared to be few Republicans in this area. The next car to stop was a red convertible driven by a beautiful blonde. She smiled seductively and asked him if he were a Democrat or Republican.
"Democrat!" shouted the salesman.
"Hop in!" replied the blonde.
Driving down the road, he can't help but stare at the gorgeous woman in the seat next to him. The wind blowing through her hair, perfect breasts, and a short skirt that continues to ride higher and higher up her thighs. Finally, he yells, "STOP THE CAR! STOP THE CAR!"
She slams on the brakes, and, as soon as the car stops, he jumps out. "What's the matter?" she asks.
"I can't take it!" he replies. "I've only been a Democrat for five minutes and already I want to screw somebody!"
The first vehicle to stop was an old man in a pickup truck. He yelled out the window to the salesman, "Need a lift?"
"Yes, I do," replied the salesman.
"You a Democrat or Republican?" asked the old man.
"A Republican," replied the salesman.
"Get screwed!" yelled the old man as he sped off.
The next to stop rolled down the window and asked the same question, to which the salesman gave the same answer "Republican." The driver gave him the finger and drove off.
The salesman thought it over, and decided that maybe he should change his approach, since there appeared to be few Republicans in this area. The next car to stop was a red convertible driven by a beautiful blonde. She smiled seductively and asked him if he were a Democrat or Republican.
"Democrat!" shouted the salesman.
"Hop in!" replied the blonde.
Driving down the road, he can't help but stare at the gorgeous woman in the seat next to him. The wind blowing through her hair, perfect breasts, and a short skirt that continues to ride higher and higher up her thighs. Finally, he yells, "STOP THE CAR! STOP THE CAR!"
She slams on the brakes, and, as soon as the car stops, he jumps out. "What's the matter?" she asks.
"I can't take it!" he replies. "I've only been a Democrat for five minutes and already I want to screw somebody!"
DG Hear
My Friend Kipper
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Four Catholic Ladies
Four Catholic ladies were having coffee. The first Catholic woman tells her friends "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."
The second Catholic woman chirps, "My son is a bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people call him 'Your Grace'."
This third Catholic crone says, "My son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say 'Your Eminence'."
Since the fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence, the first three women give her this subtle "Well...?" So she replies, "My son is a gorgeous, 6'2" hard-bodied stripper. When he walks into a room, people say, "Oh, my God...'."
Four Catholic ladies were having coffee. The first Catholic woman tells her friends "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."
The second Catholic woman chirps, "My son is a bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people call him 'Your Grace'."
This third Catholic crone says, "My son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say 'Your Eminence'."
Since the fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence, the first three women give her this subtle "Well...?" So she replies, "My son is a gorgeous, 6'2" hard-bodied stripper. When he walks into a room, people say, "Oh, my God...'."
glynndah
good little witch.
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"WHERE is my SUNDAY paper?!" The irate customer calling the newspaper office, loudly demanded to know where her Sunday edition was.
"Madam", said the newspaper employee, "today is Saturday. The Sunday paper is not delivered until tomorrow, on SUNDAY".
There was quite a long pause on the other end of the phone, followed by a ray of recognition as she was heard to mutter, "Well, shit, so that's why no one was at church today."
***
Ramblings of a Retired Mind
I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse. I can't afford one. So, I'm wearing my garage door opener. I also made a cover for my hearing aid and now I have what they call blue teeth, I think.
You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn't like me anyway.
I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans!
I've gotten that dreaded furniture disease. That's when your chest is falling into your drawers!
When people see a cat's litter box, they always say, 'Oh, have you got a cat?' Just once I want to say, 'No, it's for company!'
Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency. I think you should write, 'A Good Doctor'!
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then, it dawned on me. They were cramming for their finals.
As for me, I'm just hoping God grades on the curve.
***
"Madam", said the newspaper employee, "today is Saturday. The Sunday paper is not delivered until tomorrow, on SUNDAY".
There was quite a long pause on the other end of the phone, followed by a ray of recognition as she was heard to mutter, "Well, shit, so that's why no one was at church today."
***
Ramblings of a Retired Mind
I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse. I can't afford one. So, I'm wearing my garage door opener. I also made a cover for my hearing aid and now I have what they call blue teeth, I think.
You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn't like me anyway.
I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans!
I've gotten that dreaded furniture disease. That's when your chest is falling into your drawers!
When people see a cat's litter box, they always say, 'Oh, have you got a cat?' Just once I want to say, 'No, it's for company!'
Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency. I think you should write, 'A Good Doctor'!
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then, it dawned on me. They were cramming for their finals.
As for me, I'm just hoping God grades on the curve.
***
curl4ever
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DesertPirate
Sailing from the desert
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- Mar 20, 2006
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21 Marines
This came from a Marine's wife??????
I sat, as did millions of other Americans, and watched as the government underwent a peaceful transition of power a few months ago. At first, I felt a swell of pride and patriotism while Barack Obama took his Oath of office.
However, all that pride quickly vanished as I later watched 21 Marines, in full dress uniform with rifles, fire a 21-gun salute to the President. It was then that I realized how far America 's Military had deteriorated.
Every last one of them missed!
This came from a Marine's wife??????
I sat, as did millions of other Americans, and watched as the government underwent a peaceful transition of power a few months ago. At first, I felt a swell of pride and patriotism while Barack Obama took his Oath of office.
However, all that pride quickly vanished as I later watched 21 Marines, in full dress uniform with rifles, fire a 21-gun salute to the President. It was then that I realized how far America 's Military had deteriorated.
Every last one of them missed!
DG Hear
My Friend Kipper
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- Jun 14, 2005
- Posts
- 6,689
A little punny....you think?... Good History lessons.
They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot & then once a day it was taken & sold to the tannery.......if you had to do this to survive you were "Piss Poor"
But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn't even afford to buy a pot...........they "didn't have a pot to piss in" & were the lowest of the low
The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be. Here are some facts about the 1500s:
Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and they still smelled pretty good by June.. However, since they were starting to smell . .. . brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.
Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the
babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the Bath water!"
Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip an d fall off the roof.
Hence the saying "It's raining cats and dogs."
There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence.
The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying, "Dirt poor." The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entrance-way. Hence: a thresh hold.
(Getting quite an education, aren't you?)
In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire.. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme: Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old.
Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, "bring home the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and chew the fat.
Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.
Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the upper crust.
Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a wake.
England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift.) to listen for the bell;
thus,someone could be, saved by the bell or was considered a dead ringer...
And that's the truth...Now, whoever said History was boring ! ! !
They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot & then once a day it was taken & sold to the tannery.......if you had to do this to survive you were "Piss Poor"
But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn't even afford to buy a pot...........they "didn't have a pot to piss in" & were the lowest of the low
The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be. Here are some facts about the 1500s:
Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and they still smelled pretty good by June.. However, since they were starting to smell . .. . brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.
Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the
babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the Bath water!"
Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip an d fall off the roof.
Hence the saying "It's raining cats and dogs."
There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence.
The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying, "Dirt poor." The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entrance-way. Hence: a thresh hold.
(Getting quite an education, aren't you?)
In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire.. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme: Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old.
Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, "bring home the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and chew the fat.
Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.
Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the upper crust.
Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a wake.
England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift.) to listen for the bell;
thus,someone could be, saved by the bell or was considered a dead ringer...
And that's the truth...Now, whoever said History was boring ! ! !
DG Hear
My Friend Kipper
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- Jun 14, 2005
- Posts
- 6,689
Ex-Girlfriend
A guy runs into his ex-girlfriend at a bar.
"I had sex with another woman last night," he tells her. "But I was thinking of you the whole time."
"You miss me that much?" she asks.
"No," he says. "But it kept me from coming too fast."
A guy runs into his ex-girlfriend at a bar.
"I had sex with another woman last night," he tells her. "But I was thinking of you the whole time."
"You miss me that much?" she asks.
"No," he says. "But it kept me from coming too fast."
DG Hear
My Friend Kipper
- Joined
- Jun 14, 2005
- Posts
- 6,689
Rough Love Life
A man wearing a stovepipe hat, a fake beard, and a waistcoat sits down at a bar and orders a drink.
"Going to a party?" the bartender asks.
"Yeah," the man replies, "I'm supposed to go dressed as my love life."�
"But you look like Abe Lincoln."
"That's right. My last time having sex was four scores and seven years ago."�
A man wearing a stovepipe hat, a fake beard, and a waistcoat sits down at a bar and orders a drink.
"Going to a party?" the bartender asks.
"Yeah," the man replies, "I'm supposed to go dressed as my love life."�
"But you look like Abe Lincoln."
"That's right. My last time having sex was four scores and seven years ago."�
DG Hear
My Friend Kipper
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- Jun 14, 2005
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- 6,689
An old on but I like it.
Early Retirement
The Marine Corps found they had too many officers and senior enlisted
men. It was decided to offer an early retirement bonus.
They promised any officer or senior enlisted man who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body.
Those applying got to choose what those two points would be.
The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top
of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked
out with a bonus of $72,000.
The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be
measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.
The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Sergeant
Major who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, "From
the tip of my weenie to my testicles." It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two officers had received. But the old Marine insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer. The medical officer arrived and
instructed the Sergeant Major to "drop 'em," which he did. The medical
officer placed the tape measure on the tip of his weenie and began to work back. "Dear Lord!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?"
The old Sergeant Major calmly replied, "Vietnam".
Early Retirement
The Marine Corps found they had too many officers and senior enlisted
men. It was decided to offer an early retirement bonus.
They promised any officer or senior enlisted man who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body.
Those applying got to choose what those two points would be.
The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top
of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked
out with a bonus of $72,000.
The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be
measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.
The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Sergeant
Major who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, "From
the tip of my weenie to my testicles." It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two officers had received. But the old Marine insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer. The medical officer arrived and
instructed the Sergeant Major to "drop 'em," which he did. The medical
officer placed the tape measure on the tip of his weenie and began to work back. "Dear Lord!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?"
The old Sergeant Major calmly replied, "Vietnam".
DG Hear
My Friend Kipper
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- Jun 14, 2005
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Hard of Hearing
An elderly couple was driving cross-country, and the woman was driving.
She gets pulled over by the highway patrol. The officer says, "Ma'am, did
you know you were speeding?"
The woman turns to her husband and asks, "What did he say?"
The old man yells, "HE SAYS YOU WERE SPEEDING."
The patrolman says, "May I see your license?"
The woman turns to her husband and asks, "What did he say?"
The old man yells, "HE WANTS TO SEE YOUR LICENSE." The woman gives him her license.
The patrolman says, "I see you are from Arkansas. I spent some time there
once, had the worst sex with a woman I have ever had."
The woman turns to her husband and asks, "What did he say?"
"HE THINKS HE KNOWS YOU," the old man yells.
An elderly couple was driving cross-country, and the woman was driving.
She gets pulled over by the highway patrol. The officer says, "Ma'am, did
you know you were speeding?"
The woman turns to her husband and asks, "What did he say?"
The old man yells, "HE SAYS YOU WERE SPEEDING."
The patrolman says, "May I see your license?"
The woman turns to her husband and asks, "What did he say?"
The old man yells, "HE WANTS TO SEE YOUR LICENSE." The woman gives him her license.
The patrolman says, "I see you are from Arkansas. I spent some time there
once, had the worst sex with a woman I have ever had."
The woman turns to her husband and asks, "What did he say?"
"HE THINKS HE KNOWS YOU," the old man yells.
redpaint
Literotica Guru
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- May 21, 2008
- Posts
- 3,160
A little kid asks his father, "Daddy, is God a man or a woman?"
"Both son. God is both."
After a while the kid comes again and asks, "Daddy, is God black or white?"
"Both son, both."
The child returns a few minutes later and says, "Daddy, is Michael Jackson God?"
"Both son. God is both."
After a while the kid comes again and asks, "Daddy, is God black or white?"
"Both son, both."
The child returns a few minutes later and says, "Daddy, is Michael Jackson God?"
redpaint
Literotica Guru
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As they entered the store where I work, a mother issued stern warnings to her son about looking but not touching. But after several minutes of browsing curiously among the myriad of oh-so- touchable items, the boy reached out to feel a colorful stone. "What did I just tell you about touching things?" his mother asked.
"But Mom," he said, "the sign says 'Touch Stones.'"
"But Mom," he said, "the sign says 'Touch Stones.'"
redpaint
Literotica Guru
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Whenever George Washington felt a telltale tickle in his throat or sniffle sneaking up, he tucked in to a particularly pungent bedtime snack: an onion. As the popular tale goes, Washington would eat a cooked onion in order to ward off colds. The Founding Father's homeopathic regimen makes nutritional sense. Pearly white onions are chock-full of vitamins C, B1 and B6, along with a healthy dose of potassium, phosphorus and fiber. Though onions aren't universally appealing to the human palate, they have the potential to lower bad cholesterol, relieve hypertension and minimize blood clotting.
redpaint
Literotica Guru
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- May 21, 2008
- Posts
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MR. POTATO HEAD
In 2000, officials in Warwick, Rhode Island, removed a six-foot tall statue of Mr. Potato Head (sporting a Hawaiian shirt, glasses, and hat) named "Tourist Tater" - one of a series placed around the city - after Onna Moniz-John, an East Providence affirmative action officer, complained that it was racist... because its skin was brown.
According to Moniz-John, the statue resembled the Little Black Sambo character because its clothes were too small. "If you look at this potato head," she declared, "the only thing missing is a watermelon."
The artist, Kathy Szarko, was understandably astonished by the reaction. Why was he brown? Explained Szarko: "He's a potato!"
In 2000, officials in Warwick, Rhode Island, removed a six-foot tall statue of Mr. Potato Head (sporting a Hawaiian shirt, glasses, and hat) named "Tourist Tater" - one of a series placed around the city - after Onna Moniz-John, an East Providence affirmative action officer, complained that it was racist... because its skin was brown.
According to Moniz-John, the statue resembled the Little Black Sambo character because its clothes were too small. "If you look at this potato head," she declared, "the only thing missing is a watermelon."
The artist, Kathy Szarko, was understandably astonished by the reaction. Why was he brown? Explained Szarko: "He's a potato!"
oggbashan
Dying Truth seeker
- Joined
- Jul 3, 2002
- Posts
- 56,017
Whenever George Washington felt a telltale tickle in his throat or sniffle sneaking up, he tucked in to a particularly pungent bedtime snack: an onion. As the popular tale goes, Washington would eat a cooked onion in order to ward off colds. The Founding Father's homeopathic regimen makes nutritional sense. Pearly white onions are chock-full of vitamins C, B1 and B6, along with a healthy dose of potassium, phosphorus and fiber. Though onions aren't universally appealing to the human palate, they have the potential to lower bad cholesterol, relieve hypertension and minimize blood clotting.
And eating onions keeps the unwashed voters from getting too close.
Og
DG Hear
My Friend Kipper
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- Jun 14, 2005
- Posts
- 6,689
Are You Kathlick?
Three little Boys were concerned
Because they couldn't get anyone to play with them.
They decided it was because they had not been Baptized
And didn't go to Sunday School.
So they went to the nearest Church.
But, only the Janitor was there.
One little Boy said,
"We need to be baptized
Because no one will come out and play with Us.
Will You baptize Us?"
"Sure," said the Janitor.
He took them into the bathroom
And dunked their little heads in the toilet bowl,
One at a time.
Then He said, "You are now Baptized!".
" When they got outside,
One of them asked,
"What religion do You think We are?"
The oldest one said,
"We're not Kathlick, .because they pour the water on You."
"We're not Babtis, .because they dunk all of You in the water."
"We're not Methdiss, .....because they just sprinkle water on You."
The littlest one said,
"Didn't you smell that water!"
They all joined in asking,
"Yeah! What do You think that means?"
"I think it means we're Pisspatarians
Three little Boys were concerned
Because they couldn't get anyone to play with them.
They decided it was because they had not been Baptized
And didn't go to Sunday School.
So they went to the nearest Church.
But, only the Janitor was there.
One little Boy said,
"We need to be baptized
Because no one will come out and play with Us.
Will You baptize Us?"
"Sure," said the Janitor.
He took them into the bathroom
And dunked their little heads in the toilet bowl,
One at a time.
Then He said, "You are now Baptized!".
" When they got outside,
One of them asked,
"What religion do You think We are?"
The oldest one said,
"We're not Kathlick, .because they pour the water on You."
"We're not Babtis, .because they dunk all of You in the water."
"We're not Methdiss, .....because they just sprinkle water on You."
The littlest one said,
"Didn't you smell that water!"
They all joined in asking,
"Yeah! What do You think that means?"
"I think it means we're Pisspatarians
JackLuis
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Sep 21, 2008
- Posts
- 21,881
Are You Kathlick?
Three little Boys were concerned
---
They all joined in asking,
"Yeah! What do You think that means?"
"I think it means we're Pisspatarians
Or Urine-iterions?
Crudebug
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- May 31, 2008
- Posts
- 2,878
My name be Kenesha LaTeesha Williams.
I an African-American Girl who just got an award for being the bess speler in class. I got 67 on the speling tess plust 30 point for being black 5 point for not bringin drugs to class 5 point for not bringin guns to class and 5 point for not gettin pregnut during the cemester. It be hard to beat a score of 120.
Da white boy who sit nex to me is McGee from Macon .. He got a 94 on the tess but no extra point on acount of he have da same skin color as the opressirs.
Granny ax me to thank all Dimocrafts and Liberuls for suportin afermative action. You be showin da way to true eqwallity.
I be gittin in medical skool nex an mabe I be yo docter when Barrac take over da healtcare in dis cuntry.
I an African-American Girl who just got an award for being the bess speler in class. I got 67 on the speling tess plust 30 point for being black 5 point for not bringin drugs to class 5 point for not bringin guns to class and 5 point for not gettin pregnut during the cemester. It be hard to beat a score of 120.
Da white boy who sit nex to me is McGee from Macon .. He got a 94 on the tess but no extra point on acount of he have da same skin color as the opressirs.
Granny ax me to thank all Dimocrafts and Liberuls for suportin afermative action. You be showin da way to true eqwallity.
I be gittin in medical skool nex an mabe I be yo docter when Barrac take over da healtcare in dis cuntry.
Boxlicker101
Licker of Boxes
- Joined
- Apr 5, 2003
- Posts
- 33,665
Good Grief! This is a true story!
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/aponline/20000929/aponline124748_000.htm
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