humiliation.
- Thread starter dolf
- Start date
Recidiva
Harastal
- Joined
- Sep 3, 2005
- Posts
- 89,726
I've started a few threads on this myself, and although I've had quite a few people explain it to me in their terms, it's just something I don't get or want.
It's a bit like having someone rhapsodize over why wine is a taste to be savored and I try it and say "Yuck..."
I consider humiliation to be a social teaching tool, which sometimes works in a social situation, but has never worked on me. It totally turns me off. I see people use it on each other. I see that it works, I see that it resonates. But I believe in this case, I'm tone deaf.
Giving and getting, hard limits...now. Whenever I tried it in play I always had to have someone feed me my lines and tell me what to do, I'm blind. I've done it for someone else and had them do it to me to satisfy their curiosity, but other than "satisfying someone's curiosity" being satisfying in itself, the act itself...nothing.
It's a bit like having someone rhapsodize over why wine is a taste to be savored and I try it and say "Yuck..."
I consider humiliation to be a social teaching tool, which sometimes works in a social situation, but has never worked on me. It totally turns me off. I see people use it on each other. I see that it works, I see that it resonates. But I believe in this case, I'm tone deaf.
Giving and getting, hard limits...now. Whenever I tried it in play I always had to have someone feed me my lines and tell me what to do, I'm blind. I've done it for someone else and had them do it to me to satisfy their curiosity, but other than "satisfying someone's curiosity" being satisfying in itself, the act itself...nothing.
BiBunny
Moon Queen & Wanderer
- Joined
- Dec 7, 2005
- Posts
- 12,563
Giving it--I don't care that much about. I can if it gets your rocks off, but I'm pretty meh about it.
On the receiving end, though...I can't go far enough or deep enough. I love humiliation and degradation. I crave it. I crave it more than I crave pain or bondage or any of the other S&M-y things. I need to be brought down, to cry, to be forced to do things to humiliate myself (which is worse than having someone else humiliate you, BTW).
I have no shame, so it's pretty hard to do, but if you're able to do it, I love it. That being said, I couldn't do it with any dumbass off the street. The attraction of being brought so low like that is the way he builds me back up later.
*Shrug* I'm weird.
On the receiving end, though...I can't go far enough or deep enough. I love humiliation and degradation. I crave it. I crave it more than I crave pain or bondage or any of the other S&M-y things. I need to be brought down, to cry, to be forced to do things to humiliate myself (which is worse than having someone else humiliate you, BTW).
I have no shame, so it's pretty hard to do, but if you're able to do it, I love it. That being said, I couldn't do it with any dumbass off the street. The attraction of being brought so low like that is the way he builds me back up later.
*Shrug* I'm weird.
Recidiva
Harastal
- Joined
- Sep 3, 2005
- Posts
- 89,726
BiBunny said:
I don't think you're weird at all.
I'm vaguely disappointed I'm not into it, in the way I'm vaguely disappointed I'm not bisexual.
I'm clearly missing out.
And I'm incompatible with a lot of people because I can't suit that need of theirs.
somberReality
Taking a Lit break
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2007
- Posts
- 2,080
I can't give it or get it....i think it's cause i grew up in a verbally abusive household.
somberReality
Taking a Lit break
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2007
- Posts
- 2,080
Recidiva said:
LOL. I think the same way cause i'm not bi, but it seems to be the shizniz!
RawHumor
Creepers Gotta Creep
- Joined
- Jan 24, 2002
- Posts
- 57,560
somberReality said:
It's weird how our pasts determine so much of who we are today.
With some people, past abuses make them crave replications of those past experiences... with others, they make them abhor anything remotely of the same genre.
Someone else could probably say what I'm trying to say a lot more eloquently than I've said it.
Shankara20
Well, that is lovely
- Joined
- Sep 20, 2005
- Posts
- 58,546
dolf said:
I'm with you one this one - I also don't like onions in my coffee
Recidiva
Harastal
- Joined
- Sep 3, 2005
- Posts
- 89,726
RawHumor said:
I've tried to trace the same thing, asking people HOW and WHERE they got their attitudes. But I'd say a lot of it is split between nature and nurture. Someone with no experience with it at all, will see it the first time and say "THAT. Yes, THAT." Hard to determine hardwired from acquired.
I did grow up in a household that was dysfunctional in lots of ways, and I developed a system where I completely invalidated anyone who attempted to humiliate me or hurt me while I was powerless to deal with it. I just stopped feeling it or granting it any power. It's turned into a lifetime strategy, and I can't reverse that flow. If someone tries to manipulate me to get something from me, I just shut off.
Netzach
>semiotics?
- Joined
- Mar 3, 2003
- Posts
- 21,732
Quint said:
This is part of H's makeup. It's really exciting to him to feel like an idiot out in a non-sexual context and then have me point out what an idiot he made of himself. Being in my presence, he gets really clumsy and out of it and loses concentration, and the more I rub it in the better a time is had.
It makes no sense at all, but it works. Kind of like onions and coffee, except that's disgusting. But I think this is like liking onions and coffee.
myinnerslut
His chains. His lash.
- Joined
- Jul 19, 2006
- Posts
- 6,053
i dont like humiliation as in degredation. i do like humiliation as in embarresment.
last night A had me sit on him and fuck my own ass with his cock. i was sobbing. i was blushing. i was horribly embarresed to be forced to move my body up and down over his cock, splitting my ass with every downstroke. all this was made even worse by the fact that he was watching his cock disapear into my ass as i continually thrust myself down on him.
thats the kind of humiliation i love to hate. the kind i despise while its happening, but cherish the memory.
last night A had me sit on him and fuck my own ass with his cock. i was sobbing. i was blushing. i was horribly embarresed to be forced to move my body up and down over his cock, splitting my ass with every downstroke. all this was made even worse by the fact that he was watching his cock disapear into my ass as i continually thrust myself down on him.
thats the kind of humiliation i love to hate. the kind i despise while its happening, but cherish the memory.
BiBunny
Moon Queen & Wanderer
- Joined
- Dec 7, 2005
- Posts
- 12,563
myinnerslut said:
See, I wish I could get off on this kind of thing, but it doesn't humiliate me in the slightest. I'd just be grinning, LOL. I think that's one reason I crave humiliation so much--it's hard to humiliate me, but when you do, you've really hit on something. It's like chasing the rabbit down the hole. Every time we do it, we have to get deeper into it, or it doesn't do anything for me anymore.
myinnerslut
His chains. His lash.
- Joined
- Jul 19, 2006
- Posts
- 6,053
i have body image issus. being closel watched or inspected = instant humiliation for me. also, if he is fucking me, i am just taking it. if i am doing it myself, then i am acting every bit of the slut and whore he is calling me.BiBunny said:
Last edited:
Neon
