humiliation.

[dolf]

i just can't do it.

it's one of the bdsm stereotypes though. all should love it.
so i want an idea of numbers.

 

[Shankara20]

I cannot do humiliation play, give or get, that involves verbal abuse. If I were bottoming and a bowl were placed on the floor and I were told to crawl over and lap the water I could do that and would enjoy hearing "good boy" but hearing "you worthless pile of shit" would stop everything - hard limit time.

good question - be back later...

 

[dolf]

I cannot do humiliation play, give or get, that involves verbal abuse. If I were bottoming and a bowl were placed on the floor and I were told to crawl over and lap the water I could do that and would enjoy hearing "good boy" but hearing "you worthless pile of shit" would stop everything - hard limit time.

good question - be back later...

there was actually i sigh of relief on reading that.
someone who feels the same.

 

[Beauty_Beast]

I cannot do humiliation play, give or get, that involves verbal abuse. If I were bottoming and a bowl were placed on the floor and I were told to crawl over and lap the water I could do that and would enjoy hearing "good boy" but hearing "you worthless pile of shit" would stop everything - hard limit time.

good question - be back later...

Great reply.....................while I appreciate for some it becomes part of the whole, personally giving humiliation would be contra to the whole relationship we have, ours is based on affirmation and nurture.

 

[Puman]

I battle to identify love, trust and nuturing with humiliation... I associate it with abuse because I feel it's a confidence and psychological breaker (and I have enough confidence issues to deal with). Double that on public humiliation... that's a relationship breaker for me.

 

[JMohegan]

I cannot do humiliation play, give or get, that involves verbal abuse. If I were bottoming and a bowl were placed on the floor and I were told to crawl over and lap the water I could do that and would enjoy hearing "good boy" but hearing "you worthless pile of shit" would stop everything - hard limit time.

I don't find the dog bowl thing arousing, and I don't get off on hurling insults either.

In general, I'd say that my sadism expresses itself physically, not mentally. Though I do enjoy lighter forms of humiliation, such as making her blush with self-consciousness in the privacy of the bedroom.

 

[Bandit58]

I battle to identify love, trust and nuturing with humiliation... I associate it with abuse because I feel it's a confidence and psychological breaker (and I have enough confidence issues to deal with). Double that on public humiliation... that's a relationship breaker for me.

I feel the same. Apart from some gentle teasing, in private, we don't do humiliation. I also have confidence issues and I feel that belittling me and putting me down, especially in front of others, does not show love or caring.

I had enough of it in my previous life, I refuse to have anything to do with it now.

 

[Puman]

I feel the same. Apart from some gentle teasing, in private, we don't do humiliation. I also have confidence issues and I feel that belittling me and putting me down, especially in front of others, does not show love or caring.

I had enough of it in my previous life, I refuse to have anything to do with it now.

Here here. I would imagine (and from personal experience) that once you've been in a psychologically damaginf relationship, you can't really go back to that in any form... in fact I find it so off-putting that when I'm reading BDSM related erotica, I use the humiliation bits to 'cool-off'...

 

[RawHumor]

I believe that, unless the submissive is a true degradation masochist with very little self-worth, humiliation could only be used effectively with a strong dose of reassurrance mixed in... with the humiliation used in small doses and the submissive knowing that he/she really is worth a great deal to the dominant, but that sometimes the humiliation can be used to take him/her to a new headspace.

 

[DVS]

 

[RJMasters]

I have not totally made up mind about this yet...

I have always leaned to the side of no, not "real" humillation and still do. JM's version, about making one self concsious fits my way of thinking more acurately, but I don't limit it to just the bedroom privacy...sending one to the store or library in a skirt with no panties would create the sort of self consciousness too. Perhpas ben wan balls, or even a bp....

I have read some stories about chuckolding and such, and I think watching another person make it with your SO while you are tied and forced to watch could be humilating, especially if they mock and tease you with how good it feels...not sure how this applies to me as my circumstances probably would never allow for it, but I am not closed to it..and can see it really working for the right person. I am pretty sure having to lick and clean up from another lover can hit some serious humilation spots...

going the other way and lending one out to be used can also be humilating. Not sure I would go here either, but not to long ago I wrote a story/fantasy of inviting a few guys and a woman over to play poker and having her under the table giving service to all making sure all her guests are welcome and enjoy thier visit.

There is also such things as wearing a ponytail bp to a party so others can see it.

For me this kind of humilation runs more along the edge of pushing the limits of shyness, privacy and self conciousness. Where I depart that line and head into fantasy, would include sexual acts as sharing and chuckolding.

Humilation that involves degradation of a person for real just doesn't do it. About the closest i can come to this is objectification that I know a head of time is wanted or desired.

 

[WriterDom]

It's one of those things that either works or it doesn't. And I can take it or leave it.

 

[HottieMama]

Ok..i'll be the sorta odd-ball and say that i absolutely love verbal humiliation. It is NOT something i could do with someone i didn't know well, and trust completely though. i need to know deep down that no matter what they say, that they really do love me/care about me. It is also not something i do in public. "Nasty names" are reserved for playing/privacy.

i don't consider it abuse because it is consensual. If i tell you it's ok to call me "nasty names" and you call me a worthless cunt during play, you aren't abusing me...you are heightening an experience for me.

 

[CutieMouse]

I enjoy (in the love/hate way) "humiliation play" - as long as it's of the makes me blush variety, and not something degrading... J think's it's absolutely delicious that he can make me blush on demand (and he takes advantage of it regularly). LOL

 

[DVS]

I enjoy (in the love/hate way) "humiliation play" - as long as it's of the makes me blush variety, and not something degrading... J think's it's absolutely delicious that he can make me blush on demand (and he takes advantage of it regularly). LOL

Yeah, but you're in love. He could say "kiss my toes" and you'd probably blush just because the last time he said that you remember what came next. LOL.

 

[CutieMouse]

Yeah, but you're in love. He could say "kiss my toes" and you'd probably blush just because the last time he said that you remember what came next. LOL.

No I really do blush that easily. I blush when men look at me with that *really* direct gaze where you suspect their mind is doing wicked things. I blush if he tells me I'm a really good girl in a certain tone of voice. I blush if he swats my ass and the housekeeper (or any friends) are around. I blush if he tells me I'm beautiful. I blush if he whispers something naughty in my ear. I blush if he references something we did the night before. I blush if he points out other men are staring at me.

I've *always* blushed easily. If I feel the least bit awkward, I'll start to blush. When I was there he thought it was fun to tell friends that I'm amazing, and I even blush on demand (then give me a really direct look) which would make me feel like all eyes were on me, which means I'd feel awkward, which means I'd start blushing.

 

[Shankara20]

there was actually i sigh of relief on reading that.
someone who feels the same.

Do you differentiate humiliation play from degradation play?

 

[VelvetDarkness]

There's a difference between humiliation and degradation? Sounds pretty similar to me.

Master hits my spots by making me clean his dick after sex (not a2m) and generally mocking the kick I get from being his pet bitch. I find it exciting when he gets really nasty and really puts me in my place and violates my head, telling me how much he'd like to fuck another girl while I watch (which is a possibility in the future as I'm bi and we've talked about threesomes) and so on.

It is a powerful tool of his and fortunately he knows when and how to use it in a healthy way that stregthens us as Master and slave. I could never love a Master who humiliated me every time we played. Master and I have plenty of other dynamics to pick from during play and some of my deepest subspace experiences have been during slower, more laid back sex.

I never really feel degraded though, that must be the difference. I don't think I'd easily recover from that. It would make me feel devalued and unloved. Whatever Master says or does I'm always completely convinced of what we truly mean to each other.

 

[Netzach]

I love giving it, it's a serious fetish.

That said, I totally get that not everyone shares that fetish and I don't go there with people who don't get all wet and squirmy when I ask if they want to go there. I found one person who loves it as much as I do and I pretty much meet those needs with him. Often in fairly cliche ways, often in somewhat inventive ones. He is weird. He is a rarity. He is someone who can cry through a memory of the horrible things done to him AND get hard from it - something I personally fail to grasp applied to myself, but love about him.

But anyone who acts like this is an obvious way to play or a must-do, is really more idiot than top, IMO. Most people I've met don't have an interest, or have an interest in only the most erotic, light, mild exhibition side of it, which *I* find hard for me to handle. I prefer heavy objectification and "it" play rather than "oh you slut" when I do it. Or things that really force him into his insecurities and fears - because it makes him hot to be so forced. Really hot. And it makes me hot to be confronted with what kind of person that might make me. Really hot.

Honestly without the right, really enthusiastic, really receptive person, I find this really would be abusive.

 

[SubKekiLee]

There's a difference between humiliation and degradation? Sounds pretty similar to me.

Master hits my spots by making me clean his dick after sex (not a2m) and generally mocking the kick I get from being his pet bitch. I find it exciting when he gets really nasty and really puts me in my place and violates my head, telling me how much he'd like to fuck another girl while I watch (which is a possibility in the future as I'm bi and we've talked about threesomes) and so on.

It is a powerful tool of his and fortunately he knows when and how to use it in a healthy way that stregthens us as Master and slave. I could never love a Master who humiliated me every time we played. Master and I have plenty of other dynamics to pick from during play and some of my deepest subspace experiences have been during slower, more laid back sex.

I never really feel degraded though, that must be the difference. I don't think I'd easily recover from that. It would make me feel devalued and unloved. Whatever Master says or does I'm always completely convinced of what we truly mean to each other.

I agree with you Velvet.. He doesnt need to degrade me all the time, but I am just as turned on when he makes me clean up him up from our encounter and recently since I am bi... we hve been talking alot about how he would have me kneel at his side and tell me all about how she feels and how good she was.. thats such a turn on.. I dont think Id like it if it were rude, disparaging complaints and issues.. I know what I mean to him every day cause of his actions and I know no ONE could compare to me in his eyes... Which for me.. Means the world..

 

[catalina_francisco]

There's a difference between humiliation and degradation? Sounds pretty similar to me.

This thread may be interesting for you and others.

Catalina

 

[HottieMama]

i am amazed that i am in the minority in this....

 

[RawHumor]

i am amazed that i am in the minority in this....

That was part of the reason I spoke up when I did... I knew that some people had to enjoy it, and sometimes if a thread starts out one-sided, people don't want to sound like freaks by being in the minority.

 

[dolf]

That was part of the reason I spoke up when I did... I knew that some people had to enjoy it, and sometimes if a thread starts out one-sided, people don't want to sound like freaks by being in the minority.

freak!!!!!

 

[Quint]

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