Huck's Hypothetical #2: Teaser or Pleaser?

[Huckleman2000]

Okay, I came up with another hypothetical situation:

A younger person, say mid-20s, agrees to go on an expense-paid trip with an older person, say mid-40s, of whatever gender-attraction is mutual. There is no business relationship between them - they aren't boss/employee, colleagues, client/salesperson... These are just two adults who know each other, and haven't had sex with each other yet, though they could.

Does the younger person have an obligation to have sex (responsible, safe) with the older person? i.e., Does acceptance of that situation imply that there will be sex?

Discussion questions:
Does it matter if it's older man/younger woman vs. older woman/younger woman, older man/younger man, or older woman/younger man?

Is the obligation (or not) a moral one, or a social expectation?

 

[Stella_Omega]

mid forties is wrinkled?

Regardless of the age difference, the power balance is in the hands of the more affluent person, the host. The one who is dependent upon the host had better do some negotiating up front. And the host had better talk about their expectations of having good sweaty fun with said hottie.

 

[Huckleman2000]

mid forties is wrinkled?

Regardless of the age difference, the power balance is in the hands of the more affluent person, the host. The one who is dependent upon the host had better do some negotiating up front. And the host had better talk about their expectations of having good sweaty fun with said hottie.

HA! I was speaking from the role of the younger one in those options.

Of course, they should talk about it in mutual terms. But, really - isn't "Let's get away someplace nice - it's on me" simply a nice way of saying "Let's have a romantic fuck?" Isn't there something akin to honeymoon sex for this situation, as in, it would be pretty naive for someone on their honeymoon to expect that they wouldn't have sex with the person they just married.

 

[Huckleman2000]

Okay, maybe there aren't enough gay men here to comment...

This was inspired by a conversation with some gay male friends at a holiday party recently. They were tut-tutting about a cute young man who was there with another cute young man. I asked what he'd done that was so shameful, and they explained that he'd accompanied an older guy who paid for his trip to New York, and then allegedly feigned having "the flu" while he was there so he wouldn't have to sleep with the guy. I said, "Well, was that what he agreed to?", and the gay guys all gave me this look that only gay men can give. That look that says, "You're a grown man, and I need to explain this to you about that? Really?!"

As my gay Southern Gentleman friend put it, "Ain't no shame in that, but you better show your gratitude like you're supposed to or you're just bein' a little bitch. That's just bad manners! No one's that cute, honey."

 

[fifty5]

...

As my gay Southern Gentleman friend put it, "Ain't no shame in that, but you better show your gratitude like you're supposed to or you're just bein' a little bitch. That's just bad manners! No one's that cute, honey."

My own take is that it all depends on the phrasing used by the 'young hottie' when accepting the invitation. If (s)he wants sex with the other one, then just, "Yes" (or similar) is fine - and no-one is likely to be disappointed unless the other one (I am talking hypothetically, or maybe medically, here) doesn't. If the hottie doesn't want sex, and doesn't say so, that's deception, because as already said, the expectation is plain to anyone old enough to accept.

 

[bronzeage]

mid forties is wrinkled?

Regardless of the age difference, the power balance is in the hands of the more affluent person, the host. The one who is dependent upon the host had better do some negotiating up front. And the host had better talk about their expectations of having good sweaty fun with said hottie.

I have several young female employees and I have seen this opera played out many times. So far, none of them has accepted the offers. It always comes with the expectation of sex.

Mid-forties is kind the low end of the scale. The men who make these offers tend to be early 60's and lie about their age. A mid-forty man might have a chance.

 

[Huckleman2000]

I have several young female employees and I have seen this opera played out many times. So far, none of them has accepted the offers. It always comes with the expectation of sex.

Mid-forties is kind the low end of the scale. The men who make these offers tend to be early 60's and lie about their age. A mid-forty man might have a chance.

Actually, now that you say this, I recall a cruise that I went on with my wife (now ex), and there was a couple that we sat with one night early in the cruise. He was obviously older, but we were about 34, so I have no idea how old. She was a bit younger than we were, and made it clear that they "weren't married or dating or anything." Anyway, my wife saw her at the pool the next day. She was apparently feeling anxiety because he wanted to have sex, and she didn't. That night, we saw them again, and she was a bit tipsy. The next day at the pool, she told my wife that she just got drunk and "did it", and "it was great!."

We didn't see them much after that, but every time we did they looked like they were having a great time.

 

[bronzeage]

Actually, now that you say this, I recall a cruise that I went on with my wife (now ex), and there was a couple that we sat with one night early in the cruise. He was obviously older, but we were about 34, so I have no idea how old. She was a bit younger than we were, and made it clear that they "weren't married or dating or anything." Anyway, my wife saw her at the pool the next day. She was apparently feeling anxiety because he wanted to have sex, and she didn't. That night, we saw them again, and she was a bit tipsy. The next day at the pool, she told my wife that she just got drunk and "did it", and "it was great!."

We didn't see them much after that, but every time we did they looked like they were having a great time.

A cruise does not make a very good first date. It's just to difficult to take her home early.