how you feel when you do it: submission or domination

[Phoenix Stone]

Haven't seen this in library so: as was done with descriptions of subspace, can anyone describe how you Feel when you submit (or dominate)?

When I decide, start or whatever, it's not like a regular turn-on, and sometimes I'm not aware of being turned on.
I feel sort of soft, warm, like I'm opening. I feel it especially in the center of my body. I feel calmer. Satisfied like a warm cat. I have someone I trust enough, and as long as he doesn't laugh at me, I can let go of guarding myself, kind of go deeper inside, melty. (I get afraid very quickly, though, unless he's given me something to think about, some sort of distraction, because my life thus far has not lead me to trust good feelings, or relaxing.)

Anyone else care to share how they feel deep inside from this? The part that feels good and strong and right to you?

 

[LadyG]

Good question.

I feel relaxed and yet excited. I don't have any fear, because I know "he" would never do anything to hurt me emotionally.
It's a whole new level, I'm warm, comfortable and anticipating what comes next.

I feel like I'm where I should be, but couldn't be, until I found the right person for me.

Which I have.

 

[Netzach]

Warm wet low grade turned on in the groin

totally keyed up...

it's like playing with my labia gently while executing the perfect golf swing, seeing the ball all the way into the cup.

 

[FungiUg]

Incredibly focussed. I don't so much get a power rush as everything just sort of falls into place, and for rare moments, I am totally in control.

The kinky sex is a turn on, sure. But it's almost a sideline at times, which is why a lot of I do is not as much about pleasuring ME. But it IS about control.

 

[Shadowsdream]

It is a long transition of energy and emotion when I get into Domme play mode.
I am methodical in the preparation..totally focused yet detached from My slave or toy in training.
As I take them further into physical bondage I begin to bring who they are and what they mean to Me back into focus. It is now about U/us.
My seriousness deepens and My light smiling self disappears.
As the whips and crops begin to fly I feel an energy build that consumes Me with the desire to test limits and bring tears flowing down flushed cheeks.
Whimpers and moans mixed with the occassional scream excites Me and drives Me to continue to add one toy after another to My arsenal of torments.
As My energy increases I am on fire...Hot and intense...not a soft spot left to be found. I become a Tiger feeling the cage that surrounds My toys with the limits yet to be over come.
I become lost in My own energy yet aware of the slave or sub in an abstract detached way. Fully capable of gauging their agony or ecstacy.
When I have hit their limit I begin to back off physically but emotionally I am beginning to rage...and pace..and desire even more.
A time I would prefer to be alone, to come down to earth.
Instead I take care of said toys, after care is important...it is lonely but vital...for Me.
It takes Me hours to come back to laughter and light hearted energy.

 

[landcruisergal]

The anticipation, the preparation of my body, the clothes I have chosen, the makeup, the little details, knowing it is purely for his appreciation.I often start my preparations hours before a rendevous. My hands shake trying to handle an eyeliner or lipstick.
The moment I see him,adrenaline pumps and my heart starts pounding, partly out of fear of the unknown, as I never know what he has planned.Partly out of fear that I have forgotten something.My pussy twitches, heat rises,nipples harden and juices seep.
When I am wearing his cuffs and collar, its like waking another personality I have buried in my psyche .
My focus is on his commands, I was a selfish lover before I submitted, now the shift is to please him, with my words, my actions and my demeanor.I have to think before I speak.
Fear of failure is also a major concern.And the relief I feel at a few words of appreciation, at his orgasm, a tender touch.....
And the pleasure/pain/satisfaction( if I am granted any) is icing on the cake.

 

[MastrJ]

For me it's similar to what Fungi described. When I'm the Dom I'm very focused. It's all about what I can get out of the submissive. I've tended to have very organic scenes in that they aren't excessively planned out ahead of time. However even though they aren't planned to the last detail I'm constantly looking for ways I can nudge the submissive against the walls of her limits. See how much the walls will shift this time. My pleasure is attended to, but most of the focus is on my submissive's pleasure.

 

[Phoenix Stone]

Wow, to All of you. (So glad I asked.) Easier to get into it late at night but... a bit more.

The feeling reminds me a bit of one of the few times i remember feeling safe when I was a child. Way out in a field on schoolgrounds in the tall grass with my friends on a summer day. None of us speaking, my nose in the grass and earth, then looking up at the sky, breathing softly and evenly for once, so safe where no one could find me except for my friends, I felt warmth go thru my body like honey, an ease I'd never felt before....

Guess it's a sort of meditation thing. Deepest trust. My true mellow self, it feels like. The sexual part is a rush, like a blush that starts in my center, between my navel and crotch. Sometimes it rushes up from my ankles. A hard tang, almost like pain, like a bell sounding, that centers somehow in my pussy, its openness.

When I've 'topped' it's been more an urgency, a digging deeper, a wanting to get at the center of things.

For all of it, it feels like it's somehow about breaking through, going just that little bit over the edge, permeating.

 

[shelleb4]

My intitial reaction from the first clue that we are going to be playing at somepoint (a look, or a gesture usually reserved for playing, leaks into real life) is excitement. I can empathise with the shaky hands putting on makeup. Its a lovely feeling of anticipation.
From the moment play starts, i sink into another dimension, i lose awareness of my surroundings, im disorientated to time place and person, i am just 'me' in isolation of all else. Its like being very safely blind or cacooned in something warm and safe. Sounds corny, but id like to be in this state of mind when i die, its so peaceful and nurturing.
From the other perspective; im very excited, im very id, im meticulous in every detail, i have super senses, all atuned to my partner, watching his every reaction and using the knowledge to go deeper. I like to see how long i can hold him on the precipice and bring him back before he falls. Its a very powerful feeling, its power, i guess like a formula one racing car driver.
And i wish i could describe it better!

 

[shelleb4]

and from a womans point of view:
You know the bit in pregnancy, where you realise that shit loads of people are gonna be staring at your vagina, and you worry that you will die of embarassment/piss yourself/shit yourself even?
But in reality, you didnt give a shit if a japanese family sat in the room for a picnic! Just get the fucker out of me now!
Well, when i remember the things i 'allowed' to be done to me, i go very red, im so embarassed at myself!
But in reality, you couldnt give a fuck, if some japanese family sat int the room for a picnic! Just dont stop!

 

[lizzie anne]

hmmmmm?

just terribly jealous and envious of the rest of you out there...

i'll never know an answer to your question...

type "A" behavior..anal--

i will never know HOW to let go.

 

[shy slave]

I have just experienced my first 'proper' play session.
It was incredible. I went places in my mind I never knew existed.

I was very anxious and nervous before arriving at his home, although we had discussed the session and I had told him what i thought my limits were.

Boy was I wrong! Going through the pain barrier was not as difficult as I expected and I was able to take far more than I imagined.

My legs and arms felt as though they belonged to another person as I did as He commanded.

In my mind I was elsewhere totally focused on his actions, his voice.
Everything but what was happening 'in the present' faded. I was not aware of the room, or the situation only the senstaion.

It was a little like a meditaion but more intense.

I am terrified of blindfolds but shocked myself when I chose to keep my eyes closed for most of the session. In hindsight this was a good thing as had I known about the clit clamps I may have changed my mind!!

Throughout the session He checked I was ok, and gave me two safe words - one for when things were getting diffiuclt and one for beyond my limits.

I was so pleased i did not have to use them - although a couple of times I thought I may have to.

The feeling of completion when I knew I had satisfied Him and when He said He was pleased with me cannot compare to any other situation I have known.

I know exactly what shelleb4 means in her post, had anyone seen me tied to a table and arm/leg cuffed I would have have been mortified, but at the same time not wanted it to stop.

Just wanted to share and this seemed the appropriate thread.

Thank you Phoenix Stone.

I am off abroad today for two weeks in the sun with sons and parents - not sure how to explain some of the more interesting marks

Not sure what happens on my return with Him but regardless if thats a real session, I am in the right place

shy slave

 

[Phoenix Stone]

Re: hmmmmm?

just terribly jealous and envious of the rest of you out there...

i'll never know an answer to your question...

type "A" behavior..anal--

i will never know HOW to let go.

Hi,

I wasn't asking about sub-space or anything -- that's already been done. Just asking what you feel when you start to do whatever you do -- submit or dominate. When you even think of it? Don't you feel something then?

 

[A Desert Rose]

How do I feel when I submit to the right Man?

Totally natural.

 

[bunny bondage]

Re: hmmmmm?

just terribly jealous and envious of the rest of you out there...

i'll never know an answer to your question...

type "A" behavior..anal--

i will never know HOW to let go.

which subtype?

 

[bunny bondage]

my submission becomes serious (sort of clicks all the way on) when he begins to dominate. my breath quickens, and i feel like i go blind to the rest of the world. i become hyper-sensitive to everything he says, every movment he makes, every point of contact with me, always trying to not miss any signal he may be making to me. i'm excited and anxious, always afraid, but some part of me says that there's no turning back now. it's like the climbing of a roller coaster - i know i'll love it, but i'm scared silly anyhow!

 

[the Royal wench]

Dressing for him I get warm and sexy feeling. I look at myself through his eyes and I see a desirable woman. I glow knowing this is true even if he choses not to take me on that particular day.

Doing his bidding, which usually means doing something to myself that he likes to see, tension inside of me grows and I feel somewhat taken, just as if he were doing those things to me. I also get amazed when I find the limits I thought I had stretched. Sometimes literally.

Being bound is when I feel most free to struggle, to trust, to let go. I don't have to think, I don't have to do, I don't have to please. I am free to do what I want because the limits of what I am able to do have already been set. I have felt very cared for in this position. I am totally his, whether he touches me or not.

 

[Phoenix Stone]

bump

going here again, because, well, I feel like it.

Exposed. that's one way it feels to submit, or want to. That first time, admitting outloud that I feel a need to serve, to not resist, give, allow anything that he would take, be owned by him, felt humbling and yes good to the core. but core is too hard a word. Melted to my very center.


And then, perhaps I am switchy because there is another very different feeling I get sometimes when I go over the line, dominate someone verbally to the point that he is humbled and pained by it, feels trapped, and yet still because I'm on such a roll or still self-righteously angry, I let myself go that one step on, over the line. Until the ping. This small sharp bell-ring ping twinge in my clit. And i stop. Stop right there, shuffle back apologize. Sometimes this is all I know that tells me I've gone over. It only happens maybe once a year or less. Still, it's there, and reminiscent of the same slightly sick, edgey sexy feeling that I've always had from my non-consent masturbation fantasies. (Never tried masturbating to thoughts of being slightly mean to someone in an argument before, though. Maybe I should try.) And I don't get anything sexual out of arguing until I go over the line and then it's that same sudden ping.

I haven't gotten it from acting sexually dominant, nor from the one time I did an online domme play with someone. The only part I really enjoyed of that was making him beg and thinking about him wanting me to go on with the story and having him under my benevolent thumb was a bit warm-making. Not worth all the trouble, though. (He was very toppish from the bottom.)

So back to submitting -- the one kind of pain I like, being bitten on the neck. How feels? Very mmm. Catlike, and squirmy. the hairs on the back of my neck rise, get tickled, then warm. From the back, feeling his teeth on my neck his body is warm animal muscly against my backside, those bites send rivulets of pleasure down my neck into my belly and deeper. When he bites in, digs into my neck it's like that moment when you get a sugar thrill from a mouthful of frosting, sharp and spreading warmth at the same time, like the rush you get from tasting green horseradish and it feels like you have places in your head you didn't know were there opening up. Like syrup rushing down to spread over and cup my pussy.
Same for being grabbed. Sharp around the edges, warm and deep and melting at the center.

Think it's time to head over to the YKYSFW thread, or to bed.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

Haven't seen this in library so: as was done with descriptions of subspace, can anyone describe how you Feel when you submit (or dominate)?

Anyone else care to share how they feel deep inside from this? The part that feels good and strong and right to you?

My Top half:
As I begin to set a particular scene, I become exceedingly focused, especially if I haven't been able to play with my pets for a month or two. There is a low level buzz, located in my mind and cunt as I tie them up, spread them out, ready them.

Depending on what the scene is for (pleasurable/punishment) I feel many different things all at once, including, but not limited to:

openess to the one I am playing with, a controlled anger that I have to punish them (if that's the case), an intense need to FEEL what they are feeling (which is probably the maso in me).

At no time do I ever experince horniness...cuz it's never been about the *kinkiness* of the sex for me. I strive for complete control: of them, of the situation and of myself. The turn on stays but it just lazers into something else.

As for the subissive side? Well, it has been literally years (almost 2 to be exact) since i had a partner who could take me there...but when I finally went it was with a mixture of trepidation and joy. That was never sexual either..as i just wanted to let go..

(Not saying it did not get sexual..just that my feelings were never in a sexual mindframe)

 

[CreativeSubmissions]

I don't have much experience with being dominated,but what I do know is when someone tells me what to do or is more controlling in bed...it makes me feel more free. That is the best way I can explain it. How can being less free auctually make you feel more freed?

 

[sklabos.]

Being Dominated

I feel completely at peace, relaxed even. I know that whatever happens I cannot do anything to prevent nor further the action. I am helpless, open, vulnerable.

sklabos