How to orgasm

[Shadowann2]

Assuming that the 1987 in your screenname is your DOB, that would make you about 22. IMHO, "I've just never been with someone I've felt comfortable in taking things farther than just a peck on the lips with" at age 22 is kind of a red flag. What's up with that?

I support your decision to save your virginity for marriage, but question why. I generally assume that people save themselves for marriage for religious reasons. If that's the case, you may have a bunch of negative conditioning about sex from religious or other sources that prevent you from enjoying sex. The recommendation to relax is good advice. You may want to look into some form of meditation to learn how to release all thoughts. That way, when your sex negative thoughts enter your mind, you can release them.

Finally, in glancing through the responses above, it seems that most of them are focusing on clitoral stimulation. Have you tried to stimulate your G spot?

Good Luck.

I have to say that I think there may be some merit to the religious idea here. I am, by nature a very sexual person, but I was raised in a very strict Catholic environment, including going to an all-girls Catholic high school. I wanted to be sexual and explore everything there was to explore, but when I did, my religious inhibitions prevented me from having an orgasm. Somewhere, in the dark corners of my mind, I felt that what I was doing was wrong, and I could never "let go," enough to achieve orgasm. My body was the battlefield, if you will, between my naturally free thinking mind, and the restriction put in my head by my religious upbringing.

 

[sexyvixen1987]

I hadn't considered the religious aspect of it before, but it's definitely something to think about.

 

[kimbernee]

In order to orgasm, you need an escalation of feeling. It sounds like you hit a certain plateau and then don't escalate further. If you're using a vibe to stimulate your clit, there probably isn't much further to go. So yes, start slower and farther away. And also, stimulate then back off, stimulate then back off. That'll simulate escalation.

I really doubt you're going to find a guy who'll do better than you're going to do. Try different things. Try water in the shower and humping a pillow and face up and face down. Most of us end up with a certain way to masturbate and it's the only way that'll work for us. You just need to find your way.

 

[sexyvixen1987]

Well, I've been trying a lot of the things you guys suggested, especially not going for the clit to start with and taking little breaks. I haven't succeeded yet but I've been having a great couple days

 

[littlebabyclit]

In order to orgasm, you need an escalation of feeling. It sounds like you hit a certain plateau and then don't escalate further. If you're using a vibe to stimulate your clit, there probably isn't much further to go. So yes, start slower and farther away. And also, stimulate then back off, stimulate then back off. That'll simulate escalation.

Hmmmm, this is helpful for me to read. So far, I haven't been able to get past a certain point with my vibrator. Thanks !

 

[eudaemonia]

Well, I've been trying a lot of the things you guys suggested, especially not going for the clit to start with and taking little breaks. I haven't succeeded yet but I've been having a great couple days

My $.02: As one who has masturbated since childhood, I never went directly for my clit til my late teens though I was easily climaxing with or without a partner well before my late teens. If sex really does start between the ears, try arousing that part of your body first then move slowly downward from there -- stopping just short of your clit -- until you're very aroused. Perhaps that will help rewire your bod.

 

[Cathleen]

SV, there's so much good info here (Lit is so cool, isn't it?). I'm glad you're taking some time and are open to try new things. I love the idea of having a story read to you, or just good ol' fashion phone sex! (So much fun. Lit does have a chat room. You might find someone (or more) to have phone fun.

I have a few toys I like but honestly my favorite is a cheap egg. I can tuck it in over my clit, use another to insert, well you get the picture. I've found being on my stomach, even putting something hard to work off of, adds a lot -- quite often I'll have a g-spot orgasm.

Basically it's about trying and being open -- it's all in the privacy of your own mind, relax and let your thoughts flow.

My 'go to' fun toy

 

[krames]

Please click one of the Quick Reply icons in the posts above to activate Quick Reply.

 

[Miles Long]

How is your exploration going? Any updates on the orgasms?

 

[sexyvixen1987]

Haven't popped the cherry yet but I've been having lots of fun trying

 

[heyscanman]

surrender

Dear SV:

I admire your diligence. I also like to hear that you are enjoying yourself. Pleasure is the object, not the orgasm.

I believe you will have an orgasm - many orgasms (pent up demand) - through surrender to someone else. I agree with the suggestion of having a man with a seductive voice tell you what he's going to do with you. Then, give in to it.

 

[Granprincipe]

Check Mail!

PM sent in case you're interested.

 

[str8butkinky]

I dated a girl who had an issue where she could never cum during sex. Orally or vaginally. She kept trying and trying and for months she never orgasmed. At the time I met her I think she was 22 or 23. So My advice to her was to stop trying to have an orgasm and just enjoy everything else. With women it is so mental.. Men are totally different.

Anyway.. one night I woke up at like 3am when I was spending the night over her place. I went down on her and woke her up. after about 10-15 mins of licking her she finally came. I think it was the fact that her brain wasn't really totally awake and the fact that her mind was clear from being in a somewhat sleep state that did it for her.

So once again. stop trying so hard to have an orgasm.. enjoy the whole thing and get lost in something else while you are masturbating.. like a story, someone's voice or porn.

Another thing you could maybe try is the shower head.. Works wonders for women